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1、该死的特里斯你叫我？Damn it, Terrance. -You rang?你说呢我们是不是一致同意把吊顶装饰一下Of course! Did we or did we not decide to paint an accent ceiling? 是啊我们是不是一致同意Yes. -And did we or did we not decide把它刷成蛋壳白最白的白色to paint it eggshell white, the whitest of whites, 卡蕾措科那种白白到要为了the Kaley Cuoco of whites, the calling the cops, 一顿烧
2、烤叫警♥察♥那种白听着很耳熟 on a barbecue of white. -Sounds famiL 那这是什么东西？Then what is this?热狗在两厢情愿的情况下操一只纸杯蛋糕Hot dog, consensually railing a cupcake.是我昨晚用英式烟斗嗑了冰♥毒♥后画的Painted it last night, after smoking meth on my English pipe.那个纸杯蛋糕是红丝绒的所以还是很优雅的Its a red velvet cupcake, so, you kno
3、w its classy!你把我的派珀佩拉博摔碎了You broke my Piper Perabo.没打中混球！Ha! Missed me, sucka!尝尝我的红格子油漆Choke on some of this lattice red paint.没错！-所有人都给我停手！Yeah! -Stop it, all of you!这本来是我们一起完成的家庭活动Were supposed to do this as a family, 就像打高尔夫或是我们穿着like playing golf, or when we got the portrait黑色高领毛衣模仿“死囚记录乐队拍全家福的那次
4、where we were in black turtlenecks like Death Row Records.嗨特里糟了噗噗不能参加Hi, Terry. -Oh, helfs no. Pupa cant join.他会把颜料弄得全身都是我们就没法知道他本身是什么颜色了He gets paint over himself. We dont know what color he is.还记得吗有一次我们以为他变成紫色了Remember when we thought he was purple 不得不献祭了一个玩电竞的处♥男♥我的新家说我只能睡在椅子里My new
5、 family said I could only stay in a chair.你运气太差了碧琳达Sucks for you, Belinda.汽油我错了是我们都要倒霉了I was wrong. It sucks for all of us!这也是观光的一局部体验吗好问题但说实话不是Is this part of the tour? -Great question. Actually, no.这只是一次惨烈的意外Its just one of those horrible coincidences,就像看速度与激&heartsJW♥3D版的人like when the peo
6、ple on the Fast and Furious 3D ride都被迫和泰瑞斯做了 一次爱all had sex with Tyrese.但我确实是观光的一局部But I am part of the tour.天啊是史泰龙没错我是西尔维斯特史泰龙Holy shit, it*s fucking Sly. -Its me Sly Stallone.有时我会厌倦那些慈善工作Sometimes； I get bored of the charity work I do.悄悄坐上这趟巴士看大家会有什么反响I like to ride the bus undercover and see how
7、people react. 来吧让我救大家离开这儿Come on, letrs get you out of here.别想碰我西尔维斯特史泰龙Dont fucking touch me, Sylvester Stallone.你不知道我是谁吗Dont you know who I am?我是科尔沃这里逞英雄的人只能是我Im Korvo. I do the hero shit around here.好了我这就进去确认里面只有史黛西姐妹中的一个后Okay. Im going to go in and make sure Stacy K. is alone. 我会给你发信♥号&he
8、arts;♥你等着 Then Ill give you the signal. Wait for it.彳十么信♥号♥♥Whats the signal?我怎么知道我只是顺口编的I dont know, Im making this shit up as I go along.故障中库克校长你在做什么Principal Cooke, uh, what are you doing?只有这里的电流强到能驱动我的电炉Only this place has a strong enough power outlet for my hotplate.
9、求你别举报我Please dont tell on me.如果我再次被抓到在学校做豆子和鸡蛋我会被开除的If I get caught cooking beans and eggs on school grounds, Til lose my job.这份工作就是我的全部This is all I have.去死吧混♥蛋♥ !-不等等!Die, motherfucker! -No, wait!喝杯咖啡再说别的This day just took a turn.今天出现了意料之外的反转啊不过这和我想象中But I guess this is exactly what
10、I thought无聊校长的大脑一模一样a boring principafs brain would look like.甚至无聊本身都会觉得他无聊Ugh. Even basic thinks this is basic.我们要怎么从这里出去How do we get out of here?幸好我读了心灵射线枪的操作手册我知道该怎么做Good thing I read the Psyche Ray manual, so I know what to do.我也读过了Yeah, I read it, too.但你还是跟我解释一下规那么吧就当我是那些疯狂刷剧的But explain the r
11、ules to me as if I was someone who binge-watches流媒体平台高级会员premium streaming TV.就凭你？我们只需要找到库克的内心孩童Yay, you. All we have to do is find Cookes inner child他会带我们出去的and he will lead us out.听起来很简单Seems simple enough.天啊原来库克校长的内心这么深奥丰富Oh, geez. Turns out Principal Cooke is hella deep.儿子如果当年你妈怀你Son, I wish you
12、r mom had miscarried you被那匹百威的克莱兹代尔马踢到肚子的时候流产就好了when she got kicked in the stomach by that Budweiser Clydesdale. 哇我以为不得不对付一大群孩子的Wow, I just thought Principal Cooke was a big bag of sad库克校长已经够惨了cause he had to work with kids.没想到他还有父亲情结But he clearly had daddy issues.他没以跳脱衣舞为生真是奇迹啊Surprised hes not wo
13、rking a pole.说不好我觉得他爸挺酷的那是他的内心孩童吗I dont know, his dad seems rad. Is that the inner child?应该不是吧你看他手里拿的巧克力奶油雪糕I dont think so. Check out that fudgesicle.之前雪糕掉了时库克快气疯了Cooke went crazy when it spilled before.那一定是库克的暴怒怪兽它以吞噬他的怒火为生This must be Cookes temper monster. Its fuelled by all his anger.如果被他抓到我们就要
14、永远困在这了If he catches us, well never get out!嗨韦医生Hey, Dr. W.有没有人告诉过你你长得很像那个电影女明星？Has anyone ever told you you look like that girl from the movies?艾米亚当斯？ 不是Amy Adams? -No.瑞秋麦克亚当斯？-也不是Rachel McAdams. -No.伊丽莎白班克斯不Elizabeth Banks. -Nah.艾米斯通？ 不Emma Stone. -No.是凯西贝茨什么Its Kathy Bates, -What?这个不重要为了救你我决定带你逃出去
15、Forget it. Tve decided to break you out, to save you.但我很喜欢这里我有自己的Switch游戏机But I love it. I got my switch,他们还允许我随意装饰我的吊顶and they let me paint accent ceiling any color.这画真有品位Wow. Thats fucking classy.但你听我说特里你是个特别的孩子不该待在这里But look, Terry, youre too special for this place.相信我如果你继续待在这里他们会对你做很糟糕的事Trust me
16、. They are going to do terrible stuff to you if you stay here.对你的屁♥股♥动手动脚Butt stuff.可我没有屁♥股♥ 那就更糟了But I dont have a butt. -Thats even worse.跟我走吧Come on.由于电影效果的塌陷隧♥道♥已暂停通行The tunnel is closed due to a cinematic crash.隧♥道♥中似乎发生了类似电影十万火急的情况There s
17、eems to be some Daylight situation going on.该死隧♥道♥是我们唯一的逃生之路Damn it, the tunnel was our way out.我不懂现在到底是什么情况！I dont understand whats happening now!好了史泰龙我还赶着去做别的事加入新的家庭Okay, Ive got places to be in, families to join.如今正是需要人挺身而出的时刻你和我显然是这里的头狼This is big boy time. You and I are the alpha
18、dogs.领头羊扛把子中的扛把子我们要怎么拯救大家The main men, the stinkiest poops. Whats our plan to save the day? 听好了小蓝人你回去和其他孤儿好好待着Listen, little blue boy, go back with the other orphans让十一次金酸莓奖得主and let an 11-time Golden Raspberry Award winning actor来处理这个局面-这个理由不够充分“越空狂龙”take care of this. -Not good enough, demolition
19、man.说得详细一点.我保证会带大家I need the deets. -I promise I will get all ofyou平安离开这里这不是易事out of here alive. Its not going to be easy.有人会死Some ofyou will die.如果我们能从水里游出去If we can swim through the water不被隧♥道♥里的鳄鱼吃掉without getting eaten by the tunnel alligators, 那苍天作证我会救所有人出去than as God is my witnes
20、s, I will save all ofyour lives.除了大多数可能注定会死的人这个演讲也太没说服力了Except most of you who will probably die. -That sounds super fucking lame.首先隧♥道♥里没有鳄鱼只有做法国菜的老鼠First, tunnel alligators dont exist. Only rats that cook French food.其次大家应该跟我走因为我是外星人Everyone, come with me because Im an alien.也是一位领导者我
21、在领导方面无所不知比方热能标记Im leader. And I know leader shit, like, um, heat signatures.那真的很酷谁被我惊艳到了这家伙的钦佩都写在脸上了Thats pretty cool. Whos impressed? I know that guy is.我们跟你走Well go with you.祝你们好运倒霉蛋们Good luck, suckers.希望你们不会变成敢死队里的牺牲品”懂我意思吧Hope youre not expendable. Get it?我们的路肯定比那位“洛奇4选的酷多了Told you this would be
22、 cooler than whatever Rocky IV is doing.你确定这样平安吗You sure this is safe?当然了别这么胆小Yeah, man, dont be such a.见鬼是隧♥道♥鳄鱼我就知道我这就来救你们Holy fuck! Alligators. I knew it. Fil save you.你们自己能应付对吧You guys got this, right?不我们应付不了快回来！No, we dont have it. Come back!我们好像迷路了I think we*re lost. None of this
23、 was in the manual.操作手册上没写这些啊等等我知道这是什么了Wait, I know what this is.这是“超级马里奥6♥4&hearts丁的设定对吧Ifs Super Mario 6♥4♥, right?我对这些老游戏一窍不通I dont know boomer shit like that.如果想出去我们必须跳进这些画里If you want to get out, werve to jump into the paintings.你确定？ 这是我这辈子You sure? -Fve never been more sur
24、e of anything最确定的事in my entire life.不许再吹小号♥你将来要成为一名校长Stop trying to play the trumpet, youre going to be a principal.所以我才给你起名叫“校长”Thats why I named you Principal.天啊库克校长的名字就是校长Oh, my God. Principal Cookes name is Principal校长库克Principal Cooke.我告诉过你别再吹了I told you to stop playing.你永远不可能吹得比你哥哥小号&he
25、arts;好而他已经死了Youll never be as good as Trumpet, your brother, and hes dead. 放马过来吧你个混♥蛋♥ !Keep trying, you piece of shit! Keep trying.就算你把所有人都杀光You*ve killed everybody else.那又怎样我还好端端地站在这里You know what? You havent killed me.史泰龙先生你在对谁喊话Mr. Stallone, whoYe you talking to?其实我也不知道我在吼谁I actual
26、ly don*t know who I was talking to.这是我表现最好的一部电影1996年的十万火急里的情节Its from my best movie. 1996*s Daylight.你听说过吗Have you heard of it?十万火急电影观光也许你是在对这个隧♥道♥怒吼Uh, maybe you were yelling at the tunnel itself因为在那部电影里它算是反派角色because its kind of the bad guy character in the movie.没错就像伦敦陷落里巴黎也是一个角色Exa
27、ctly, like how Paris is a character in London Has Fallen.你怎么又回来了What are you doing back here?我已经把那些人救出去了现在回来救你们I saved those guys and came back to save you因为我就知道史泰龙会把救援搞砸because Im sure Stallone cocked it all up.见鬼！Ah. Fuck!坚持住我这就去救你Hold on. Ill save you.你坚持住是我正在救你Hold on. Pm saving you.说什么瞎话呢It*s l
28、iterally impossible.你才满嘴瞎话Youre literally impossible.史泰龙不！Sly, no!你们看到了吧我尽力救他了但我无力回天You guys saw that? I tried to save him. There was nothing I could do. 现在我是领头羊了我们走吧快看！Im the leader now. Lets go. Look!那个混♥蛋♥自己跑把我扔下等死That asshole ran off and left me to die.不是那样的我是去找救援了Not true. Nope, I
29、 went to get help.我们得赶紧逃出去We have to get out now.我们没时间了 我们还有时间We don*t have time! -We do have time听我来一段声情并茂的演讲for me to make a dramatic speech.我们起初相遇时只是一群因为突发状况When we first met, we were a bunch of beautiful strangers被困在一起素不相识的俊男靓女thrown together in an impossible situation.但如今我们已经成为了因隧♥道&hear
30、ts;相连的兄弟姐妹But now, we are tunnel brothers and sisters.有一些人可能已经做过爰Some of us may have sex with.这才像话！Thats what Im talking about!我们在哪儿凯西贝茨不知道Where are we, Kathy Bates? -No idea.我们去吃点东西然后继续赶路Lets get back on the road我会联♥系&hearts广天才计划”的负责人 and make contact with the Genius Initiative. 他们是保护像你一样的天才
31、的秘密组织 Theyre a secret group that protects specials like you. 为了你我抛下了我努力工作拼来的一切 Ive thrown away everything I worked for, for you. 今后我会永远陪在你身边我没法拥有自己的亲生孩子 PH be with you. I cant have my own children 因为我曾经被百威的克莱兹代尔马踢伤了肚子cause I was kicked in the stomach by Budweiser Clydesdale. 以后我就是你的妈妈Im going to be
32、your mommy.天啊为了说这句话我已经等了大半辈子了God, Ive waited all my life to say that.随便啦我们去吃饭吧我想吃索尔兹伯里牛肉饼Whatevs. Lets eat. I got a hankering for a Salisbury steak. 沙坪鱼也可以Or maybe some sand dabs.我现在急需来一大杯苏格兰威士忌Definitely in need of a large glass of Scotch.等等什么威士忌沙鲫鱼？Wait, what Scotch, sand dabs?这可不是小孩子吃的东西 No kid w
33、ould ever eat that. BevMo酒水店会员卡 BevMo card, Kleenex,纸巾数乌鸦乐团演奏会的票还有一台数码相机？tickets to Counting Crows concert, a fucking digital camera? 你不是天赋异禀的孩子我从没说过我是孩子Youre not a special kid. -I never said I was a kid.见鬼我都做了些什么Holy shit! What have I done?把我的任天堂游戏机还给我What about my Nintendo?我的Switch游戏机！ Switchie!库克
34、校长的人生可真够灰暗的Principal Cooke has seen some darkness.现在我有点喜欢他了 我也是 Now I kind of like him. -Me, too. 一直以来他想要的只有吹小号♥而已All he ever wanted to do was play the trumpet,可惜他父亲是个超级大混球but his dad was a big fat piece of shit.也许我们来到这里是天意Maybe we were meant to be here.也许这一行的意义就在于看看他人眼中的世界不要局限于自己的看法Maybe tod
35、ay is about seeing people through their eyes and not how we perceive them.说不定如果我们帮帮库克校长我们就能活着离开Maybe if we help Principal Cooke, well get out alive也能更好地理解没能肆意活过会怎样消磨一个人的灵魂and with a better understanding of how a life not lived can crush a mans soul.这也太忧郁了这又不是马男波杰克That is way too bleak for me. This i
36、snt Bojack Horseman.我们快没时间了Were running out of time.出口 一定在这里这是库克小时候的游戏房♥This is it. Cookes playroom when he was a kid!你看PPC代表校长库克校长Look, nPPC/ Principal Principal Cooke.他的内心孩童在那里Heres the inner child.这是什么鬼What the teats?这应该是70年代发♥售♥的一款美国男孩玩偶Its an American boy doll they released
37、 in the 70s.我要找个老婆替我做饭清扫Ill find a wife to cook and clean然后我在外边和我的巴西秘书鬼混while Irm screwing my Brazilian secretary.我有没有在用电炉做炖牛肉时烧毁女卫生间？Did I burn down the girls bathroom making beef stew on my hotplate?没错我确实这么做了Yes, yes, I did.但真正的问题在于那顿炖牛肉美味吗The question we should really be asking is was the beef st
38、ew good?不它难吃极了No. No, it was not.我们已经警告过你不许再在学校里做饭了You were told not to cook at school anymore.虽然炖牛肉是我第三喜欢的炖菜I dont care if beef stew is my third favorite stew.但我别无选择只能开除I have no choice but to fire.这是库克的房♥间这些是库克的玩具对吧This is Cookes room. These are Cookes toys, right?既然暴怒怪兽可以控制它们那也许他就是库克的内心孩童I
39、f the Temper Monster can control them, then maybe he is actually the inner child.没错库克一定是积蓄了太多的愤怒和悔恨Yes, Cooke must have so much residual anger and regret以至于他的孩童都变成了怪兽that his child turned into the monster.当然了爵士乐就是答案Of course, the answer is jazz.该死为什么答案总是爵士乐God damn it, why is the answer always fucki
40、ng jazz?好吧可是Okay, but.还记得你曾经的梦想吗Remember what you wanted to be?现在还不晚你仍然可以变成小号♥那样It*s not too late. You could still be like Trumpet, you know?快你会唱什么爵士乐歌♥曲吗Quick, what do you know about jazz?你看完了整部忧愁河上桥You watched all of Treme.我是为了史蒂夫茨恩看的Thats just because I love Steve Zahn.不过我想只需要哼一堆音符出
41、来就算爵士乐But you just make a lot of noises and that counts as jazz.我感觉这是对爵士的侮辱都快算得上文化挪用了This feels really disrespectful and borders on cultural misappropriation.在这种情况下不用在乎那些In this one case, its okay.起作用了 我们要逃出去了Its working. -Werre getting out of here.小号♥Trumpet.我好想念我去世的哥哥I miss my dead brother.
42、当年死在菲兹太太曲奇饼车里的It should have been me that died,本该是我and had to sacrifice the virgin Esports kid?虽然杰米是以处♥男♥之身去世的但至少他不是以处♥男♥之身 下葬的Jamie died a virgin, but at least he wasn*t buried as one. 木已成舟作为一家之主Whats done is done. As leader, 以及这部动画当之无愧的主角我下令必须把吊顶刷成白色的 and unquestioned s
43、tar of the show, I decree we paint the ceiling white. 我不接受这个破命令I dont decree that bullshite.你们可以呢？ 绝不！Do you guys? -No.克里是惊奇队长里的！Kree from Captain Marvel!在听取你们的反对意见后我决定采取一项措施Ive heard all your arguments and decided a course of action. 你拿着那个石像怪射线枪做什么丑八怪？What are you gonna do with that Gargoyle Ray?没什
44、么只是打算把你们石化一会好让我按照我的心意来装♥修♥Nothing. Just going to freeze you guys so I can finally do what I want. 好了菲尔萨纳医生说这是时下顶尖的透析仪Now, Phil, Dr. Sarner said this was the best dialysis machine. 该死我真是受够这些随便把东西变成石像怪的外星人了 Oh, damn it! Im so sick of those gargoyle-making aliens. 看看他们干了什么好事Look what they
45、!ve done.我们的沙发电视机我们的狗都变成石像怪了Our couch, gargoyle, our TV, gargoyle, our dog, gargoyle, 桃子先生竟然变成了某种象征意义的哥谭恶魔菲尔！ fucking Mr. Peaches is a symbolic Gothic demon, Phil! 那些外星熊孩子成天在没有大人监管的情况下到处惹祸 Those dick-faced alien kids run around all day with no supervision, 我受够了 well, I am done.我要打电♥话♥给
46、市政♥府♥投诉否那么迟早你也会被变成 Im calling the city before they turn you into.该死的！ Son of a bitch!什洛浦星曾是个完美的乌托邦直到被小行星撞上Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia until the asteroid hit. 一百个成人和他们的复♥制♥人in that vat of cookie dough at Mrs. Fields.库克你怎么了？Cooke, whats wrong with you?我很抱歉Im sorry.我此
47、刻想说的话只能用爵士乐表达The only way I could describe it is through jazz.懂吗Get it?我们听懂了We get it now.爵士乐让我们完全理解了Jazz made us totally get it.我们的使命完成了Our work here is done.你们俩为什么会出现在我们的走廊里What the fuck are you doing in our hallway?给我滚去露天看台上！To the bleachers, now!该死的看来周三还没过去Son of a bitch, its still Wednesday, I guess.我的家咔Click.嘿Hey. Whoa.抱歉我给了你脑袋一记回旋踢Sorry, I roundhouse kicked you in the head.作为领导者我必须那么做rd to do what a leader does.只有在这种危机时刻Its moments like this, moments of crisis,你才能发现自己的本质找到自己的归属when you find out who you are and where you belong.哇西尔维斯特史泰龙我从没从这个角度想过Wow, Sylvester Stal