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1、戴尔你已经盯着那个罗洛熔岩蛋糕20分钟了Dale, youve been staring at that Rolo lava cake for 20 minutes.这不是图书馆-我来搬This isnt a library. -I got it.一共三袋原糖我就喜欢这样的原汁原味的Three packets； sugar in the raw. -That*s how I like my sugar. raw.这真是一次美妙的柏拉图式的交流啊This has been a wonderful plutonic exchange.下周再见I will see you next week.15分
2、钟后老地方见 走吧Come on.被洪水冲毁请勿进入我们要去哪儿怪胎才住在这种地方Where are we going? Only weirdos live down here.再走几步就到了Just a little further.最后跳进来的是烂彩虹糖Last one ins a rotten Skittle.等等这水里平安吗Wait, is it safe down here?怎么你怕这里有小蛇吗Why, are you afraid of tiny sharks? -Ahhh!马克吓死我了你个混♥蛋♥ !Mark! God, you jerk!别吓唬我Do
3、nt do that. -Ow!你没事吧？ 没事只是感觉You okay? -Yeah. I just felt.艾丽！Allie!天啊艾丽！Oh, my God. Allie.不不要啊！No, no!大家都系好平安带了吗Everybody buckled in?当然！ 都先把嘴闭上You bet! -Shut the fuck up.我想发表一段简短而帅气的讲话Ooh, howd the sales trip go?完美都被我搞定了 我爸一定会很开心的Crushed it. Crushed it. -Daddy will love that.也就是说他不会猜到我们要把他抢劫一空Means h
4、e wont see it coming when we rob him blind.好了大伙我粘液化得越发严重了All right people, Fm gooing pretty bad.所以大家要尽快找回散落的四肢So lets get these limbs and get back to the business以便尽快离开这个破星球of leaving this shithole planet.这些冰块脏了Bad ice.别问我它为什么在里面Dont ask me how it got there.去问他们为什么从不清理冰柜Ask them why they never clean
5、ed it.喂那是我的挠蛋挠背器Hey, my ball. Back scratcher.你活该库克Suck it, Cooke.你做得很对大家的身体部位都找齐了吗You did the right thing, -So everyone got their body parts?差不多了接下来只需要去风城取最后两个Almost. We just have to go to the Windy City to pick up the last two.你们没带我自己去了芝加哥？You went to Chicago and didnt invite me?你们明知道我有多喜欢绍姆堡的奥特莱斯Y
6、ou know how much I like the Schaumberg outlets.上次你害我们在汉马克施莱默商场等了你一整天Last time we wasted all our time waiting for you at the Hammacher Sclemmer. 我和亚宇雷经常来芝加哥Me and Yumyulack have been commuting to Chi-town和芝加哥专业翻跟斗者练习to practice with the Chicago Pro Tumblers.他们是一支了不起的中场秀杂技队Theyre a legendary acrobatic
7、 halftime show.我做这个是为了保持身体的敏捷I do it to help me stay agile.而且皮蓬在的时候我们还能跟他玩一会Plus, we get to hang with Pippen when hes around.上次练习时我们翻了个高难度的跟斗撞在彼此身上He took a tough tumble into each other, last practice and knocked 把我们俩的屁♥股♥撞掉了 our tushes clean off.找到了Ooh, there they are.大伙洁西和亚宇雷回来了Guys,
8、 Jesse and Yumyulack are back.最近还好吗艾米丽Whats up, Emily?阿丽莎你好啊Alyssa, how you been?天啊乔什和索菲亚发生什么事了No, Josh and Sophia, what happened?我们在为地区锦标赛半决赛的中场秀热身时We snapped ankles warming up for the semi-regional 把脚踝扭断了halftime show championships.什么玩意但比赛就在今天啊What? -But thats today.你和小亚得替我们上场完成最后的集体动作You and Yumm
9、y have to sub in to do the final team tumble. 不行谢谢我们在赶时间No, thanks, were in a time crunch.让我们有请芝加哥专业翻跟斗队上场Chicago Pro Tumblers to the floor.你们在做不许穿What are you. Dont you put that, 你们敢把那可爱的翻跟头服穿上试试 dont you put on that sweet tumbling gear. 马上把那双护膝袜扔在地上朋友Drop those knee socks right now, mister.喂我看见你们还
10、在穿呢-当翻跟斗的使命召唤时Hey, I can see you. -When Tumbling calls, 我们必须上场you accept the charges. 给我回来！Get back here!我有点想看他们表演I kind of want to see it.你们俩真的很看重这个蠢得要命的活动是不是This stupid bullshit really meant a lot to you two, didnrt it?这是我做过最有成就感的事Ifs the most satisfying thing Ive done in my life.好吧那我很高兴你们上场了Okay,
11、 well, then Fm glad we did it, I guess.如果我没在化成粘液就更好了泰瑞该你了I still wish I wasn*t turning into goo. -Terry, your turn.该我什么？我说过了我很守规矩的What Turn? Like I said, I keep my ship tonight.你把我当什么了我又不是复♥制♥人Dont insult me. Tm not a replicant.还真有好多胳膊啊Wow, yes, thats a lot of arms.几十条胳膊扎堆漂在海上泰瑞你这个不成器的
12、Dozens tightly clustered over the ocean. Terry, you stinky shit!你是不是用胳膊喂鲸鱼了 -没有Did you feed your arms to a whale? -No.真的没有我做什么了来着No. What did I do?格拉德威尔格拉德威尔是什么Gladwell. -Whafs a Gladwell?现代社会学家马尔科姆格拉德威尔我们翻云覆雨耳鬓厮磨了一段时间Pop sociologist Malcolm Gladwell, Werve been ripping and tearing ass on the reg fo
13、r a while now 每天早上and every morning我宁愿把自己的胳膊咬断也不想把他吵醒I would chew my arm off rather than wake him up.因为一旦把他弄醒他就会喋喋不休地跟我讨论人类现状Because if I did, we would be chatting about the human condition all morning.唠叨个没完没了The guy wont shut up.我的那些胳膊肯定在他真实存在的私人游艇“装运点上的某处My arms are somewhere aboard his private no
14、n-fiction yacht, The Shipping Point.那是他为粉丝开办的知识游轮之旅Its an intellectual cruise experience he runs for his fans.那我们怎么从那个他叫什么来着？格拉德威尔那儿把你的胳膊找回来How would we ever have gotten all that from you just saying, Gladwell?别眼红寇佛嫉妒使人丑陋Dont be jealous, Korvo. It doesn*t look good.我没有嫉妒你和获奖作家有过一段炮♥友&hearts 7
15、情干什么Im not. A sexual relationship with an award winning author?你让我刮目相看我离名人最近的距离就是Im impressed. Best I could swing was a hand job两个帮乔治马丁记录小说中马名的家伙from the two guys who keep track of all the horse names帮我打过飞机for George R.R. Martin.亲爱的那我们的计划怎么为Baby, but what about the plan?我们说好等那个混♥蛋♥给你升职
16、后再敲诈他的We were going to wait until that prick promotes you and then fleece him.明天明天就走没得商量-下一班飞墨西哥的机票Tomorrow. Tomorrow. No argue. -The last flight to Mexico.那你今天就要和我爸摊牌了So you have to talk to Daddy today.小心点他有很多有权有势的朋友亲爱的你必须下好每一步棋Be careful. He has powerful friends, baby. You got to play this perfect
17、ly.别担忧一切尽在掌握Relax, Relax. It*s me.天啊等我们到了芝华塔尼欧这一切都值了God, itll all be worth it once wefre in Zihuantanejo.再一次占有我吧Take me again.天啊我爱死你的身体了God, I love your body so much.决断两秒间作者马尔科姆格拉德威尔让我们过去吧我们是格之客格拉德威尔的客人Excuse us. Were G-O-G, Guests of Gladwell.我叫泰瑞你的本子上应该有我小泰瑞你状态真好这T恤不错Terry. Should be on your book
18、there. -Terrence. You look great. Love the shirt.这是羔羊毛的吗格拉德Is that lambswool? -Glady.你真是一如既往地观察力惊人Youre looking observant as always.你把家人也带来了他们真可爱I see youve brought your family. How lovely.格拉德威尔先生-别叫我格拉德威尔就好Mr. Gladwell. -Stop. Just Gladwell.格拉德威尔你能在我的一万小时射线枪上签名吗Gladwell, would you sign my 10,000 ho
19、urs ray?它能刺♥激♥人学习一万小时是你的那本异类给了我灵感 It simulates studying for 10,000 hours, your Outliers book inspired me.那本书里的主要观点就是如果你花很多时间去做一件事My key insight was that if you spend a lot of time那你终究会擅长于此如今这似乎是大家的共识了on something you can get good at it. Seems like common knowledge now, 但在当时这是闻所未闻的but a
20、t the time, it was unheard of.好你真是个天才格拉德威尔听我们说我们来这儿是有事要做Yeah, genius Gladwell. So listen, theres a reason were here.让我猜猜小泰瑞想取回他的那堆手臂Let me guess. Terrence needs his arms back.你真了解我Damn, hes good.我带你去我的套房♥取吧Lets run up to my penthouse and get them.与此同时你们想拿这些贵宾票In the meantime, do the rest of y
21、ou want VIP tickets去看游艇里的“马尔科姆变装秀演出吗to see our in-cruise show, Malcolm Dragwell?其实就是变装皇后配合着录音用唇语读我的书Its drag queens lip syncing to audio recordings of my book.好啊你们去看演出吧我很快就拿着我的胳膊回来Cool! You guys do that and Ill be right back with my arms.尽情享受演出吧Enjoy the show.狗的食物与消化剂作者马尔科姆格拉德威尔你还记得葡萄牙上空的热气球之旅吗Do yo
22、u remember that hot air balloon over Portugal?我们的火热气氛让热气球额外飘高了三十多米We made that basket so hot that the balloon rose an extra 100 feet.没错那年夏天我们在各种飞行器上都做了一遍Yes. The summer we screwed in every type of dirigible.记得吗有次你在那架齐柏林飞艇上让我欲罢不能Remember when you had me on that zeppelin?马上要见马尔科姆式变装皇后了我好紧张啊I am so ner
23、vous to meet a Malcolm Dragwell Queen.我的着装不适合和皇室会面Im not dressed for royalty.我觉得喜欢格拉德威尔的人应该没多到I find it hard to believe theres enough Gladwell demand足以形成一种饭圈文化吧to justify a whole Stan culture.希望演出里有决断两秒钟的段落I hope theres stuff from Blink in the show.我超喜欢那本书I love that book.它讲的是有时我们不用思考或学习就知道某些知识Its a
24、bout how sometimes we just know stuff without having to think or learn. 我经常有这种感觉I feel that way constantly.我去找你的手臂你帮我倒杯酒Pour me a drink while I look for your arms.也给你自己倒一杯吧Make one for yourself, too.今天真是忙死我了你也许能看出来寇佛正在溶化Ah, been a hell of a day. I dont know if you could tell, but Korvo is melting.他对
25、此很是敏感我的天啊坐下仔细说说Hes sensitive about it. -My God. Come, tell me.等等停别想套路我Hey, hey, hey. No traps.我不能喝酒也不能坐在床上Im not having a drink or sitting on the bed.快把我的胳膊你的头发看起来比平时还夸张Just give me my. Your hair is looking zanier than normal.你换发型了吗还挺可爱的Are you styling it different? Its cute.依旧是洗完澡后在飞船上摩擦一下而已Still j
26、ust rubbing a balloon on it after showering.什么那不是头发是我的胳膊What? Thats not hair. Those are my arms.你干了什么.你把它们扔下任它们腐烂What did you do? -You like them to rot.我给了它们生活的意义给它们生命它们一直在帮我写书I gave them purpose. I gave them life. Theyve been writing my books.可惜我催它们写作它们忙得像鼠王一样缠在了一起Sadly, Ive had them so busy scribb
27、ling they*ve fused into some kind of rat king. 这画面太恶心了Thats straight up gross.如今它们的创造力到达了巅峰Now, theyre more creative than ever before.我的最新畅销书谁闻到就是谁放的屁My latest bestseller, Thou Who Smelt It Dealt It就是它们的作品 was their idea.你不能强迫我的胳膊们写它们自己的放屁灵感You cant force my arms to write their own fart ideas.我已经这么做
28、了I already have.一个小时前大卫瑞姆尼克刚采访过我抓住他David Remnick interviewed me an hour ago. Grab him.前面就是贵宾室吗先给我一杯朗姆混健怡可乐谢谢Is this the way to the VIP room? Ill have a rum and diet to start, please.糟了他们要把我们扔进海里Shit! Theyre going to throw us into the ocean.我会被稀释然后被无数只鲸鱼排泄出去Im going to get diluted and excreted throug
29、h a million disgusting squids.格拉德威尔知道你们这么做吗Did Gladwell sign off on this?贱♥人♥们见识一下芝加哥杂技队的厉害！This is how we do it in Chi-raq, biatch!看我的Here.就是这样贱♥人♥踩着我的臭粘液滑向死亡深渊吧Yeah, bitch. Slip on my stinky goo and drop to your death.把我舀起来灌进背包里Now scoop me up into the backpack.不停地卖&hea
30、rts;♥东西销量飞涨Sales. Always. Big, Big growth.利润攀升赚很多很多钱Profits, up. Money, yes, yes.不得了艾迪你是怎么做到从不上班Damn, Eddie. How is it that youre never in the office却打破了我的第二季度销量纪录的and you just crushed my Q2 sales record?跟我学着点哥们Get on my level. Bro.好了大伙回去工作吧艾迪你稍等一会All right, boys, back to work. Eddie, stick a
31、round for a second.给我听好了你这个混账Now you listen to me, you son of a bitch.你也许骗得了其他人但自打第一天我就盯上你了You might have everyone else fooled, but I have been onto you since day one. 我知道你身上肯定有什么猫腻I knew there was something off about you.虽然我说不出具体是哪里不对劲I couldnt put my finger on it.但在你打我女儿主意的那一刻你的目的就暴露无疑了But you mes
32、sed up when you made a move on my daughter.艾迪我调查了你的身世背景你猜我发现了什么I did a background check on you, Eddie. You know what I found?一无所获你的履历没有造假Nothing. You are who you say you are.但这不能改变我对你的看法But that doesnt change how I feel in my gut.在我心中唯一分量能胜过利润的只有我的宝贝女儿And the only thing I love more than profits is t
33、hat little girl of mine.所以我要给你开一张一千万美元的支票作为分手费So, Tm writing you a check for $10,000,000. It*s a bribe.请你离凯蒂远远的Get out of Katie*s life.那你想要什么？你开个价吧Then what do you want? What*s your price?你是疯了吗Are you out of your fucking mind?凯蒂来电奶油酥有限责任公♥司♥别再打自己了小泰瑞Ow! Ow! -Stop hitting yourself, Terr
34、ence.这笑话没劲透了格拉德威尔是啊Cheap joke, Gladwell. -Yes.但很符合现在的情景能有效证明我的观点But it was right there and I think I made my point.你的胳膊如今听我使唤了我下令打你它们不敢不从Your arms obey me now. I say hit you, they hit.我下令写本书它们就会写出妙不可言的趣事I say write a book, they type up cherry picked anecdotes来支持我幼儿园水平的“智慧”见解to support my nursery sch
35、ool wisdom.我给你最后一个机会和我一起住在公海上吧Fil give you one last chance. Live with me on the open seas.我们做♥爱♥时你的胳膊帮我写TED演讲稿这生活多么完美We*ll make love while your arms write my TED Talks. A perfect life.我也想没日没夜地抚摸你的卷发If it were up to me, Td tap that curly shit all day.但我已经有自己的队伍了But Ive already got a tea
36、m.真可惜那你只能去死了Pity. Consider your point tipped.天啊泰瑞的胳膊缠成了鼠王它们听格拉德威尔指挥No. Terrys arms formed a rat king and theyrve sided with Gladwell.你怎么这么快就弄清形势了How did you gather that so fast?因为我还小想象力还没被成年人扼杀Because Im young and adulthood hasnt atrophied my imagination.要命了Holy shit!快停下泰瑞的胳膊Stop it. Stop it, Terrys
37、 arms.寇佛他的胳膊在听你指挥Korvo, his arms. Theyre listening to you.我是任务领导者服从我刻在它们的基因里Im their mission leader. Its their biological imperative.泰瑞的胳膊别犯浑了 一不泰瑞的胳膊我是你们的主人Terrys arms. Stop being dicks. -No, Terry*s arms. Im your leader now.是我让你们在睡前给我涂润滑油Im the one who lets you grease me up before bedtime.从前你们还长在肩
38、膀上时没做过一件好事Youve never done anything right in your shoulder-girdled lives.毫无价值但如今你们有机会改变这一点Youre worthless. But you can change that right now.和我们回家吧泰瑞的胳膊们Come home with us, Terryrs arms.回家吧不行我的事业会毁于一旦的Come home. -No； my career will be over.没了泰瑞的胳膊我就只能去写Without Terry*s arms, all Til be able to write我手
39、到擒来下笔如有神的is the erotic Luigis Mansion fan-fic路易鬼屋色情同人小说了我不能回到那种境地that comes to me so naturally. I cant go back to that.我绝不会走回头路I wont go back to that.嗨格拉德威尔我是亚宇雷-那又怎样Hey, Gladwell. Tm Yumyulack. -So?我是这次任务的平安主管所以你个蠢货休想惹事Im head of mission security so consider your dumb ass secured.你对他做了什么-他会当一万小时的傻子
40、What did you do to him? -Hers 10,000 hours stupider.我要去写一部关于电子游戏和80年代电影的小说Im going to go write a novel about video games and 80s movies. 他会没事的Hell land on his feet.如果我也没事就好了我感觉很糟糕Oh, man, I wish I had feet. Tm feeling pretty shitty.寇佛！Korvo!我们就快到家了坚持住别溶化Almost home, buddy. Think solid. Stay solid.哪个
41、疯子会这样开车Who was that psycho?点餐取餐处冰淇淋嗨Hey. Ahhh!爱莎发射飞船Aisha, launch the ship.所有成员到位发射程序已启动All crew members present. Launch activated.飞船启动了我们真的要离开了Were doing it. Were actually leaving!不别这样见鬼不！No, no, no, no, no, no. No!不要啊！No!这是怎么回事.由于这些奶油酥中含有大量的铁What happened? -All ship systems have been compromised飞船
42、的所有系统都遭到了破坏by the heavy levels of iron in these puffs.这些东西是从哪儿来的Where did they all come from?这可能怪我我明明记得我只装了几包I guess it was me? I only remember packing a couple想让噗噗在旅途中有它心爱的零食吃so the Pupa could have favorite snacks for the trip.你想尽力做好你作为噗噗专家的工作You were trying to be a better Pupa specialist.我们可以把飞船清理
43、干净的寇佛I have a brief kick ass speech to make.飞船再次修好了The ship is repaired again,我们终于要永远离开这个烂到家的垃圾坑了and we are finally able to leave this M-class hellhole for good.谢谢我们去年就试着离开过Thank you. -We did this last year.“巴拉巴拉地球太烂了我们要走了“Blah, blah, blah, Earth sucks, sci fi, sci-fi were leaving.换一番说辞吧没劲透了Change t
44、he channel. This sucks.这次是真的要走了爱莎启动预发射程序This shit*s happening. Aisha, activate pre-launch sequence now.首先请你给我放尊重点First off, who do you think you*re talking to with that tone?其次程序已启动Second, activated.着急个屁啦小混♥蛋♥Talking about now. Bitch.这对所有人来说都是一个重要的日子尤其是我This is a momentous day for all
45、of us, but mostly for me, 毕竟我是这个任务的负责人活都是我一个人干的cause I am mission leader and did all the work你们只会赖在床上发懒while you guys totally shat the bed.发射终止局部成员未在船上Launch aborted. Some crew are not on board.你在说什么？我们全员都系好平安带准备What are you talking about? Were all buckled in and. Oh!耶寇佛！Yeah, Korvo!该死录音机总是能骗到我Damn
46、it. I always fall for the Talkboy.这是我们从肖申克弗瑞斯巴勒和加勒格身上学来的Ha! You got Shawshanked, Ferris Buellerd and Ghallagered.太开心了Yeah.又在玩没有尽头的“滑水滑梯”?Infinite Slip N Slide?你们明知道如果你们不在船上我是没法启动飞船的You know I cant launch the ship unless you guys are on.We can clean this up, Korvo.你可以口头指导我们修理You can talk us through t
47、he repairs.求你了我才刚开始记录Please, I just started chronicling我不想把这作为我第一本日志的结局and I dont want this to be how my first journal entry ends.是啊我们还有时间治好你的Yeah, we can still save you.不奶油解摧毁了电路损毁已经严重到无法修理No, the puffs have destroyed the circuits. The damage is too severe.你们只能永远留在地球上了Youll have to stay on Earth permanently.那你怎么办-恐怕我的大限已到What about you? -Im afraid its time for me to goo.抱歉作为领队我辜负了大家今天我发现你们每个人Im sorry I failed you all as leader. Today, I realized that each of you都在用九曲十八弯的方式履行各自的任务使命has been fulfilling your mission roles in convoluted ways这都是因为我没能构建出让我的小队茁壮成长的环境because I hadn