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1、*3人行*从前在名叫曼哈顿的魔幻之地Once upon a time, in a magical land called Manhattan,一个年轻女子恋爱了a young woman fell in love.在鼻咽癌单身汉慈善拍卖♥♥会上Charlotte and Jack locked eyes夏洛特跟杰克看对眼at a black-tie benefit for Epstein/Barr.她在纽约的所有疾病慈善会上追逐着他的身影She chased him through every disease in New York.色素性视网膜炎慈善会后他们正式约
2、会Theyve been officially dating since retinitis pigmentosa.杰克非常适合她Jack was perfect for her.他是建筑师慈善家Architect, philanthropist,他们之间的性无以伦比and the sex was amazing.某天晚上杰克丢出一个必然的问题Late one night, Jack popped the inevitable question.那么-So. -Mm?你有什么幻想？What are your fantasies?天啊Oh, God.我想自己开一间画廊fd love to own
3、 my own gallery,在缅因州有栋小别♥墅♥and maybe a little cottage in Maine.事实上我指的是Well, actually I meant more like像在飞机洗手间上乱搞的幻想screwing in an airplane bathroom kind of fantasies.关于飞机跟乱搞The closest Charlotte had ever come to getting screwed on a plane 夏洛特最接近的幻想是她的行李掉了was the time she lost all her l
4、uggage on a flight to Palm Beach.我一直想在我爸妈的床上做♥爱♥Well, Ive always wanted to do it in my parents bed.当然谁没玩过？Sure, who hasnt?真的吗Really?你跟谁？With who?我前妻My ex-wife.突然间我将写专栏的事抛诸脑后Suddenly, my column was the last thing on my mind.你结过婚？You were married?是啊我以为我告诉过你Yeah, I, uh, thought I told you
5、.你没说过No, no, you didnt.他有前妻情况有了新变化An ex-wife, thats a new twist.他们性生活狂野还玩3PYeah, and they had wild sex, threesomes.年轻时我们的性生活都很狂野We dont have wild sex.但现在只能慢慢来We used to, but now we have sweet sex.狂野还是比慢慢来好Wild always beats out sweet.但现在他没跟她在一起了But hes not with her anymore.因为他们不再有狂野的性生活Welt probably
6、because they stopped having wild sex.肯之所以能和我搞在一起You know, thats why Kens fucking me.就是因为他太太不肯帮他吹His wife won*t even give him a blow job.我一点都不感到安慰Is that supposed to make me feel better?他永远都不会为你离开他太太Hes never gonna leave his wife for you, you know.男人永远都不会那么做They never do.谢天谢地谁都不想惹麻烦Thank God. Who nee
7、ds the trouble?我不用去忍♥受那些事This is ideal, no muss, no fuss.你说起话来跟厕所清洁剂推销员一样Sounds like youre selling toilet bowl cleaner.这个颜色能挑起你的情欲吗？Does this color turn you on?米兰达下定决心You had to hand it to Miranda, she was determined. 有点橘Its a little bit orange.现在只剩一个办法You know, theres only one thing left to
8、do.在他离开我前先离开他？What, leave him before he leaves me?别闹了去探探他前妻底细You kidding? Check out the ex.夏洛特说得对Charlotte was right.我们真的不了解枕边人We don*t really know the people we sleep with.毕竟我又了解大人物什么呢？After all, what did I really know about Mr. Big?只知道他前妻叫芭芭拉Except he had an ex-wife named Barbara她在出版界工作who I quick
9、ly discovered, worked in publishing.我的计划很简单My plan was simple.我打算用出罗曼史的企划案来钓她rd pitch her a steamy, bodice-ripping paperback, 她很可能会拒绝我which shed probably reject,但我可以跟她面对面谈谈but at least Id get five minutes face-to-face with her. 是凯莉吗？Carrie?快进来芭芭拉已经在等你了Come right in, Barbaras ready for you.谢谢再见Thanks
10、, bye.凯莉布雷萧我真的很高兴Carrie Bradshaw, I am so excited.请坐Oh. -Sit down.我是你的超级书迷I am a huge fan of your work!有品味又漂亮她无懈可击Good taste and beautiful. Could it get worse?特殊奥♥运♥主席Special Olympics chairwoman.抱歉我还没空把它挂起来Sorry, I havent hung it yet.我很期待你的企划案So, Tm dying to hear your pitch.我不知道你对写童书有兴
11、趣I never knew you were interested in writing childrens books.谁不喜欢童书呢？Well, who doesnt love childrens books?罗曼史的企划案失败Five minutes of bodice-ripping material out the window.于是我做了所有作家会做的事So I did what any writer would do.我开始随口瞎掰I pulled an idea out of my ass.故事的主角是个小女孩Well, my story is about a little g
12、irl,她叫做凯西named Cathy.小凯西Little Cathy.小凯西有何过人之处？And what makes little Cathy special?她有魔法Well, shes got these magic.香烟cigarettes.她有魔法香烟？She has magic cigarettes?对小凯西有魔法香烟Yes, little Cathy and her magic cigarettes.只要一把烟点燃她想去哪里都可以And whenever she lights up, she can go anywhere她可以去阿♥拉♥伯新泽西i
13、n the whole wide world. You know, Arabia, New Jersey.当然内容还可以改I mean that stuff is all gonna be worked out； of course.你要写一本关于抽烟的童书？You wanna write a childrens book about smoking?那是给大人看的童书Well, its a childrens book for adults.你真是天才我喜欢You are outrageous. I love it!我就知道你会喜欢I thought you might.我一直想做游走边缘的
14、题材Fve been dying to do something with an edge.这本书可能会大红大紫This could be great.我受不了It was the last straw.她聪明漂亮她迷倒我了She was smart, beautiful, and she got me.我得杀了她Ed have to kill her.与此同时莎曼珊将跟外遇对象的太太见面Meanwhile, Samantha was about to have her own close encounter with the third kind.-抱歉-对不起-Oh, fm sorry.
15、-Sorry.肯莎曼珊-Ken. -Sam!你们认识？You two know each other?没错我们不熟-Sure. -Not really.萝丝这位是莎曼珊Uh, Ruth, this is Sam, Samantha.她跟我买♥♥过葡萄酒She bought some Pinot Noir from me.莎曼珊这位是我太太萝丝Uh, Sam, this is my wife, Ruth.你好-你好-Hi. -Hi.我们该走了再见Okay, we should be going, see ya.那天下午对于莎曼珊来说也是第一次That afternoo
16、n was a first for Samantha.她不到两分钟就完全击垮了一个男人She successfully screwed a guy in under two minutes.米兰达越深入分♥析♥The more Miranda analyzed, 就越难释怀the worse her nightmares got.我们四个搭计程车时So, the four of us get into a cab,她们就是不跟我坐only they wont let me sit in back with them.她们要我跟司机坐They make me ride
17、 up front with the driver, 他长得像帕瑞吉家族的克里斯who happens to be the original Chris from The Partridge Family.你还在为朋友不肯跟你What Im hearing is that youre still very upset发生性关系而难过about being sexually rejected by your friends.我要问你一件事Let me ask you something?你愿意跟我玩3P吗？Would you do a threesome with me?我们得谈谈你为什么要问我
18、这个问题I think we need to talk about why youre asking me that.你不愿意吗？I take that as a no?那晚我以为我能忘了芭芭拉的事That night, I thought I could put the whole Barbara thing out of my mind. 毕竟大人物现在跟我在一起After all, Mr. Big was with me now.你在咬他的耳垂？Nibbling his earlobes?真的是太棒了How sweet.我来教你该怎么做才对Let me show you how its
19、really done.看来谁都避免不了 3P性关系So I guess you couldnt avoid a threesome,即使现在躺在床上的人是你because even if youre the only person in the bed,但在那之前曾有人依偎在他身边someone has always been there before you.怎么了？你要去哪里？Hey, what just happened? Whered you go?我在想事情I was preoccupied.不会吧你在想什么？No kidding. About what?你前妻的胸部嘴唇跟长腿Yo
20、ur ex-wifes breasts, your ex-wifes lips, your ex-wifes long legs.我在想专栏的事My column.我没告诉你我结过婚You know, I didnt tell you I was married因为那是很久以前的事because it was a long time ago.发生了什么事？What happened?我们貌合神离后来离婚了Alienation of affection, followed by divorce.别谈过去的事了Let*s not talk about the past, please.大人物并不了
21、解What Mr. Big didn*t realize was我无法释怀过去the past was sleeping right next to me.隔天芭芭拉约我吃午餐The next day, the flesh and blood Barbara asked me to lunch.谢谢你赶来Thanks for meeting me.谢谢你约我吃饭Oh, thanks for inviting me.你换了发型Wow, you changed your hair.谢谢Oh, thanks.我有坏消息要通知你Listen, I have some not-great news.我跟
22、大人物复合了fm back with Mr. Big?大头们不喜欢小凯西的故事The head guys didnt go for Little Cathy.就算好书送上门来他们也不知道But fuck em, they wouldnt know a good book if it bit em in the ass. 对啊别理他们Yeah, fuck em.我还是很喜欢你的企划I still love the project,听起来或许很煽情and at the risk of sounding like a groupie,我真的很想跟你做朋友Fd really like it if we
23、 could become friends.做朋友？Friends?两小时喝了四杯葡萄酒之后Two hours and four Chardonnays later,我跟敌人打成一片I was sleeping with the enemy.你没过婚吗？So never been married?很久以前结过一次Mm, once. Long time ago.真的吗？发生了什么事？Really? What happened?他喜欢四处偷腥He had a wandering eye.连我最好的朋友都不放过It wandered right over to my best friend.你呢？你
24、有男朋友吗？So what about you? Are you seeing anyone?没有No one special.对莎曼珊来说坏消息正要传来For Samantha, the shit was about to hit the phone.你好Hello.结束了我告诉我太太了Its over. I told my wife!你是哪位？Who is this?我是肯Its Ken.你把我们的事告诉萝丝？Wait, you told Ruth about us?我爱上你了Im in love with you.现在我们能在一起了Now we can be together.不Oh,
25、no, no, no, no； no, no!等一下Hang on.-你好-是莎曼珊吗？-Hello. -Samantha?我是萝丝辛勒肯的太太This is Ruth Scheer. Ken*s wife.我在他抽屉找到了你的电♥话♥号♥码Yeah, I found your number in his sock drawer.等一下Hang on.听我说你爰你太太Listen to me, you love your wife.不我爱的是你No, Im in love with you!不No, no, no, no, no, no!莎曼珊不伤大雅
26、的外遇事件变成一场恶梦Sams no muss, no fuss affair was starting to feel very mussy. 说吧Im back.我不知道你是谁I donrt know who you are,肯跟我彼此相爱but Ken and I love each other very much.那是当然的事Of course you do.我们的关系密不可分And we have an unshakable bond.无论如何我一定会维持这段婚姻Whatever it takes, Im gonna keep this marriage together.那太好了听
27、着萝丝这是个天大的错误Good for you! Now, listen, Ruth, this was a huge mistake.除了性那不具有任何意义It didn*t mean anything. It was just sex.没错Well, exactly!如果性冒险能维持婚姻And if being sexually adventuresome will keep this marriage together, 我准备跟你then I am prepared to join you.还有他一同上♥床♥with him. In bed.不Oh, no.
28、不No, no, no, no, no, no, no.莎曼珊是特别来宾Samantha was a guest star.她不喜欢当固定班底Series regular was not in her contract.那晚在募款舞会中That night at the Attention Deficit Disorder masked ball,夏洛特放纵于她的幻想中Charlotte felt free to indulge her fantasy.很难想像一个小小的面具Its amazing what some sequins on a stick能让人完全抛去束缚can do to f
29、ree up inhibitions.谁是你要的那一型？So who here is your type?你喜欢孔雀吗？Do you like peacocks?你呢？Do you?然后夏洛特做了令人难以想像的事Then Charlotte did the unthinkable.天啊她对我眨眼Oh, my God. Oh, my God, she winked at me.太棒了Excellent.我得离开这里I need to get out of here.你没事吧？Hey, you okay?应该没事Yeah, yeah, I think so.你觉得如何？So how*d it fe
30、el?怪怪的Weird.我挺喜欢的Well, I enjoyed it.我还有一个幻想I do have another fantasy.是什么呢？Whats that?在举办派对时溜到楼上的房♥间做♥爱♥Doing it upstairs at a party.我能加入你们吗？Can I join you?她明白那一刻终于来了She realized that this was her moment.她想放纵于情欲中就得把握这一刻If she was going to take the plunge, it was now or never.不幸的是
31、先一头栽进去的人是杰克Unfortunately, it was Jack who plunged first.看来另一个女人比夏洛特更性感Apparently, someone elses fire was a little stronger than Charlottes. 她不是这场幻想的特别来宾She was not the guest star in this fantasy.同时在市区的酒吧中Meanwhile, at a bar downtown.你是米兰达吗？Miranda?你好Hi.真的是太好了What a relief.大部分回应我们广♥告♥的女
32、人Most of the women who answered our ad, well,都有点挺狂野的我喜欢Wild, I like it.你呢？What about you?你我跟另一个女人一起做You, me, and another woman.少来了Come on!我是认真的Im serious.夏洛特你不知道自己多性感Charlotte, you have no idea how sexy you are；对吧？ do you?你抚摸另一个女人The idea of you touching another woman.光是想我就硬了起来God, it makes me hard
33、just thinking about it.杰克想玩3PJack wants us to do a threesome!当然每个男人都想玩3POf course, he does, every guy does.3P等于是九十年代的吹♥箫♥Threesomes are huge right now. They*re the blow job of the 90. 八十年代的吹♥箫♥是什么？What was the blow job of the 80s?月工♥交♥Anal sex.别理他Dont let hi
34、m pressure you into it.他只是想试探你是不是同性恋Its just this guys cheap ploy to watch you be a lesbian for a night. 没做过就别乱说Dont knock it until youve tried it.我大学时曾玩过3PI had a threesome once, I think. In college.当时我喝醉了醒来时穿着别人的胸罩I was drunk. I woke up in someone elses bra.玩3P时一定要当来宾The only way to do a threesome
35、 is to be the guest star.来宾？they were, you know, kind of.她们丑毙了-Butt ugly. -Yeah.跟你完全不同Oh, nothing like you.谢谢Thanks.我们从没做过这种事Weve never done anything like this before.这是马克的梦想Its a huge fantasy of Marks.也是我送他的三十岁生日礼物I offered to do it for his 30th birthday.你怎么不送他笔呢？Whatever happened to giving a nice
36、pen?你今晚有事吗？So are. are you doing anything tonight?我得话把说清楚Let me just be clear here.你们想跟我玩3PYou want to do a threesome with me.如果你很忙我们能了解You know, if youre busy, we understand.听我说我得去打通电♥话♥好吗？I tell you what, let me just make a quick phone call, okay? 那晚米兰达终于得到了肯定That night, Miranda fina
37、lly got her validation.心理医生建议她一星期去找他三次Her shrink had suggested she come three times a week.我八天没跟大人物见面I didnt see Mr. Big for eight days.真的还挺好吃的Well, that was a great meal.是啊Yeah, it was.事实上食物烂透了Actually, the food was terrible我们跟陌生人一样and we were both talking to each other like strangers.到底发生了什么事？What
38、 is wrong?你告诉我你结过婚Look. You tell me you have an ex-wife,你们还玩过3Pyou tell me you guys had a three-way.对是我开口问的Yes, I asked.但你埋下这个重磅炸&hearts另单♥But you drop this big bomb；却不跟我说个清楚and you dont even give me any details.甚至没告诉我你们为什么要分手You dont even tell me why you broke up.我背着她偷人I cheated on her.我知道午餐
39、时她告诉我了Yeah, I know, she told me at lunch.我知道你已经知道了她告诉我她已经跟你说过I know you know. She told me she told you.一是她跟你说的？-是的-She told you? -She told me.还有这件事See that*s another thing.你没告诉我你们还有联络You didnt tell me that youre still talking to her.我跟我所有的前妻都有联络I still talk to all my ex-wives.那一点都不好笑Im so not findin
40、g that funny.等一下Oh, come. Listen, wait a minute.我们会玩3PYou know, the reason we had the threesome是因为我们在寻找适合自己的人is because we were both looking for something or someone else. 你认识任何适合我的人吗？Do you know anyone whos right for me? Mmm? I know how tricky things can be ? But I really do believe that. ?我们言归于好An
41、d then it was just the two of us.我了解到玩3P的真正意义And I realized the real appeal of the threesome, 很简单 it was easy.因为两人之间不再亲密It*s intimacy thafs the bitch.? Listen here ? Some things are meant to be ? Tried to take it slow ? Tried to lose control. ?The guest star?走进去后搞完就离开The girl the couple gets to come
42、 in, screw, and leave.那个代打者The pinch hitter.没错那才是最好玩的Exactly. It*s perfect.你能享受鱼水之欢All the great sex without wondering不必怀疑你跟男朋友的关系what it will do to your relationship.你没有男朋友But you dont have relationships.所以我做♥爱&hearts时很尽兴Which is why I have great sex.我从没玩过3PIve never done a threesome.因为你老在交男
43、朋友Because you have relationships.我永远都不会玩3PWell, Tve never done a threesome.当然Oh, come on. Of course, you havent.你会玩3P ?你连丁字裤都不♥穿♥的You in a threesome? You wont even wear a thong!杰克说我很性感Well Jack thinks Im sexy.他是在哄你Hes just buttering you up.你得先觉得自己很性感First, you start thinking youre hot,
44、才会想要玩3Pthen he brings up the threesome thing, boom!突然间你在吻另一个女人他在一边打手&hearts枪♥Suddenly you*re kissing another woman while he beats off. 拜托Please.另一个女人绝不能是你朋友Just make sure that the other woman isnt a friend.找个路人Use somebody random.找在酒吧或其他地方认识的人You know, somebody you meet in a bar or something.
45、真浪漫Thats romantic.不我觉得跟朋友做较安全No, I think that Td feel safer with a friend,跟我可以相信的人做譬如说凯莉with someone I could trust, like Carrie.天啊我受宠若惊Oh, gee, Im flattered.但我要跟有经验的人做譬如说莎曼珊But um. Td go with someone who has a little more experience, like Sam. 谢谢Well, thanks.跟夏洛特这种菜鸟做也挺性感的But there is something sexy about a first-timer like Charlotte.真的吗？Really?天啊不别理我Oh, great, no, forget about me.少来了Oh, oh. -Oh, come on.我愿意跟你们做You know