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1、欲望城市（性♥爱♥专家凯莉布雷萧）“两性进化论”任何事都比不上去看妇产科There is nothing more humiliating for a woman更叫人难堪than a visit to the gynecologist.你还需要避孕药吗？Do you need more Ortho-Novum?除非结果显示Unless its having to tell your gynecologist你不需要再服药了that you dont need to be on the pill anymore.我暂时不想吃Actually, Im going of
2、f it.你想怀孕吗？-不-Are you trying to have a baby? -No!不其实是我有点No, I.guess I sort of jumped the gun太操之过急了我的史蒂夫going on it in the first place, because Steve.他是我的前男友the guy that I went on it for,我们结束了长达几年的恋情the first real relationship Ive had in years, is over and.我不需要每天找个东西来提醒我没有做♥爰♥I dont nee
3、d a daily reminder that Im not having sex.所以我不用吃药了So.thatrs the story with the pill. And, uh.好了我闭嘴了Okay, Tm quiet now.正当米兰达处在谷底时Just when Miranda thought shed hit rock bottom,才发现她要面临另一个难堪she discovered a new geological layer of humiliation.你的测试显示一切都很好Well, we got your tests back and everything looks
4、 fine.好极了Great!只是有件小事Just one small thing.For one thing, I dont wake up looking like this.我梳妆打扮需要一点东西I actually need stuff to look like this.我不想整天像个游民一样And it would be nice not to have to带着那些东西到处跑carry it around all day with me like a nomad.那只是儿样小东西Ifs just a few things.你也可以把东西留在这里And you can leave
5、stuff here.我不想把东西放在这里I dont want to leave stuff here.你也不用放很多Well, not a lot of stuff, just like.你早上也许会需要刮胡子You know, if you want to shave in the morning.我都在健身房♥刮I shave at the gym.我一时也举不出例子Okay, then, I dont know.好比袜子Socks.你要我把袜子放在这里？You want me to leave socks here?别管我怎么说你想放什么？Well, never min
6、d what I want, what do you want?不知道我们别兜圈子I don*t know, lets save an hour.你直接说你要我怎样好了Why dont you just tell me what I want?就你认为No, really. In your mind.什么是在交往的男女最佳的状态？what is the ideal living situation for two people in a relationship? 就是现在这样Exactly what we have.那是怎样？And what is that?我们各自有自己的住处I have
7、 my place, you have yours.想在一起时便在一起Were together when we want to be.想独处的时候就独处And were apart when we want to be.就像伍迪艾伦和米亚？Like Woody and Mia.在顺宜出现之前Before Soon-Yi.自从伍迪艾伦搬到顺宜家之后Ever since Woody Allen described waving to Mia Farrow across the park,一群单身汉就期待得到single men in Manhattan had yearned这种同居的独居生活f
8、or that kind of separate togetherness.我觉得我好像快绝种的恐龙I felt like the last dinosaur.难道只有我需要适应环境吗？Was I the one who needed to adapt?我对两性关系不抱希望了吗？Was my view of a relationship extinct?我忍♥不住开始思考I couldnt stop thinking about it.在这个城市里的男同性恋不但大张旗鼓又讲究时尚This is a city where gay men are so out, theyre in.
9、单身女子的卵巢却正濒临退化的边缘Where women are so chronically single, ovaries may be the next vestigial organ. 我们随时可以请人代劳We can have anything delivered at any hour.请人带狗散步洗衣服煮菜We can have our dogs walked, our clothes cleaned, our food cooked.既然有了看门的人谁还需要老公？Who needs a husband when you have a doorman?纽约人的男女关系正在进化当中吗
10、？Are New Yorkers evolving past relationships?自从女人离开了洞窟Relationships have been on the decline男女关系就开始疏离since women came out of the cave, looked around, and said, uThis isnt so hard.1 这么说你不需要男人但你却想拥有一个男人？Okay, so you don*t need a man, but do you still want one?亲爱的我想要的可不只一个Oh, honey, I want more than on
11、e.真不知道你该代表女人的未来I cant decide whether you represent our future-还是灭亡？-当然是未来-or our demise. -I am the future.多明尼克让我了解到过去的我有多么贫瘠Seeing Dominic reminded me of how needy I was and how far Ive come.我们星期五晚上要出去Were going out Friday night.亲爰的你花了一年时间才平复伤痛Oh, sweetie! It took you a year to get over him.他当年视你如蔽屣
12、He treated you like shit.你怎么还想和他出去？Why would you want to go out with him again?就因为他以前视我如蔽屣Because he treated me like shit.你这是在自掘坟墓Okay, Tm leaning towards demise.我这是在报复It*s called revenge.我要先让他欲♥火♥焚身Im gonna make him want me,然后在我们办事之前then right before we do it,再像他抛弃我一样丢弃他Im gonna drop
13、him like he dropped me.你有分寸就好As long as you got a plan.可不只是计划我连礼服都买♥♥好了Not only a plan, I have a dress.莎曼珊的复仇计划可谓曲折离奇Samanthas revenge fantasy, like all her fantasies, was even better live.你比过去还要美艳Youre more beautiful than ever.事业有成我却已徒增白发So successful, and Im getting gray hair安卡把我的一切全
14、抢走了and Anka is taking me for everything Ive got.我看报上说她得到了那艘帆船I read that she got the sailboat.我们曾在船上共度过美妙时光Yes, well, we had good times in that boat.你和安卡吗？You and Anka?我是说我们-You and I. -Oh!我有说过你穿这件衣服美得不可方物吗？Have I mentioned how.unbelievable you look in that dress?因为史蒂芬始终没有行动And since Stephan hadnt c
15、ome out,夏洛特决定接受他的邀请到他家用餐Charlotte accepted his invitation to stay in.真好吃Thats delicious.这是煽番茄披萨Grilled portobello pizzas撒上新鲜的罗勒叶和巴马干酪起司topped with fresh basil and Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese.这是玛莎的食谱It*s Marthas recipe.我喜欢玛莎史都华Well, I love Martha Stewart.她就是个“狗的晚礼服Shes the dogs tuxedo.我在柏格朵夫家饰用品店看过这些丝
16、质的桌布Oh, look. You have these silk place mats Ive been eyeing at Bergdorf s.你很有品味You have good taste.这是我最想要的厨房♥Well, this is my fantasy kitchen.这也是我的梦想And this is my fantasy.这是辛西雅罗莉的服饰吗？Is that dress Cynthia Rowley?夏洛特希望自己能抛弃成见-Uh-huh. Charlotte wanted to be open-minded,但史蒂芬却让情势每下愈况but Stephan
17、 seemed to be making it as hard as possible.这时候莎曼珊已经让多明尼克心痒难耐Meanwhile； Samantha was making Dominic as hard as possible.你想要我吗？So, do you want me?我当然想要你Oh.do I want you.莎曼珊多年来就等待这一刻This was the moment Samantha had waited years and years for.何须再费心等待？What was another couple hours?我一直在找你你去大人物家了吗？Ive bee
18、n trying to call you. Were you at Bigs?不我出去逛街了Oh, no, I was out shopping.我和他的关系正面临僵局My relationship is at a standstill.所以我就想着打扮自己So instead, Im evolving my look.你那边还好吗？Hey, how did it go with Dominic?我和他上♥床 ♥ 了I slept with him.这不在你的计划之内吧？Well, that wasnt part of the plan.我改变主意了我要让他知道他错
19、过了什么Its part of the new plan. I wanted to remind him what he was missing.我以前竟然当他是个完美情人I cant believe I thought he was such a great lover.我现在比他更胜一筹Im better than him now.再见Bye.为了在纽约的男女关系中生存二十年In order to survive two decades of dating in New York,莎曼珊变成了一种混种人Samantha had become a powerful hybrid,她那纯女性的
20、躯体底下包裹的是大男人的心态the ego of a man trapped in the body of a woman.夏洛特深怕史蒂芬是个百分之百的男同性恋Charlotte feared the opposite was true of Stephan.她需要找人为她鉴定便带来了两个专家She still needed help classifying her find, so she brought in a team of experts.凯莉史丹佛这是史蒂芬Uh. Carrie, Stanford, this is Stephan.你好Hi. Hi.你换了发型You change
21、d your hair.对我把头发烫直了Oh, yeah, I just. its just straightened.我们见过吗？ 没有-Have we met? -Oh, no, no, no.我读过你的专栏Ive seen your column. And in that photo,你在照片上是一头卷发your hair is, like, free-flowing and.Botticelli-esque.你两种发型都很好看Ifs fabulous either way.奶油泡芙和水果蛋糕太棒了Cannolis and cream puffs and tarts, oh my!里面有
22、各种材料I put a little bit of everything.这是我试做的成品Um. This ones an experiment.这是水果蛋糕和南瓜冻Its a date tart with a pumpkin custard.这是你为我们做的？This is all for us?是我做给我的甜心的Sweets for my sweet.还有两个白吃的朋友And her freeloading friends.我的营养师一定会宰了我快把叉子给我My nutritionist will kill me, but somebody hand me a fork.你也一起吃吧？ 我
23、很乐意-Can you join us? -Id love to,但是我得去盯着结婚蛋糕I have got to glaze my wedding cake.我稍后再回来吃水果蛋糕Get back to me on the tart.他的确很吸引人I find him very attractive.但他不是同性恋Which of course means hes straight.他绝对不是同性恋Plus, hes obviously choosing to be straight因为他一直在讨好夏洛特because he seems to be head over heels about
24、 this one.他会不会是同性恋？只是他还不知道？What if he*s gay and he doesnt know it yet?我们对这种事很清楚Honey, we are aware.我小的时候我爸给我一本When I was a boy, my father gave me a book两性书籍要教我男女之事about the female body to teach me about sex.我只看了一眼就说：我不看I took one look at it and said, No.他在床上的表现如何？Well, how is he in bed?不知道我还没和他上过床I
25、dont know, I havent slept with him yet.是吗？Really?但是他很想But he wants to.真不公平Ifs so not fair.好男人都这么君子All the good ones are straight.连男同性恋也是Even the gay ones.给我一个墨西哥卷Give me a cannoli.你是不是在看我的额头？Are you looking at my forehead?不是No, no!米兰达那天晚上和约瑟夫艾勒出去吃饭That night, Miranda went out with Joseph Adler,这个律师自
26、从结案之后就一直在追她a labor relations lawyer whod been after her since the firm retreat.这个小羊肉很好吃The lamb is delicious.如果你想看你大可放心看我没什么需要隐瞒的You can look if you want, fve got nothing to hide.我打算在这里植发Ifs actually starting to fill in.她拒绝过他两次Shed refused him twice before是在知道卵巢排卵延迟后but since she was down to her las
27、t ovary,米兰达认为不能因为秃发的问题Miranda decided she was in no position to eliminate men就宣判一个男人死刑on the basis of hair plugs.我以前跟你说过我是个秃头Im telling you, I was practically bald.我记得I remember.现在能有头发真是个奇迹And now I have hair. This is a miracle.一再吃点蛋糕吧好-Some more bastilia? -Oh, sure.你一定觉得我很蠢You probably think Im cra
28、zy.其实吧我看你似乎很快乐Actually, I was thinking you seem very happy.有意思的是我从来没想过我会去植发You know, the funny thing is, I never thought that Id be the kind of guy to get plugs. 但是我觉得天下没有不可能的事情But Ive learned that you should never say never.我懂你的意思I know what you mean.最近我也碰到了There are things that Ive been considerin
29、g lately我从来没想过的问题that I never thought I would consider.什么事？Like what?你真的想知道吗？Do you really want to know?当然Sure.我最近发现我有排卵迟缓的问题Well, I recently found out that I have a lazy ovary.这没什么Which is no big deal.这表示我每隔几个月只会排一次卵It just means I only produce an egg every other month.我甚至不确定我想要小孩And Im not even su
30、re that I want kids, but.但我担心左边卵巢也罢♥工♥ 了all of a sudden it hit me that if the other ovary shuts down,我就没本钱了Im out of business. So.所以我就开始服用荷尔蒙Ive started taking hormones,现在我甚至开始考虑冷冻卵子and now Fm actually considering freezing my eggs.冷冻卵子？Freezing your eggs?就是给卵子开一个帐户Yeah, you know, like
31、a fertility savings account.这样压力就会小一点I think it would take the pressure off.这样就能免除生理时钟的问题It removes the whole biological clock issue.但这却会增加其他的问题Yeah, but it raises a lot of other issues.好比什么？Such as?好比这种生殖科技能为我们做什么？What is all this reproductive technology doing for us?我们要让年届五十的女人勉强生儿育女吗？I mean, do w
32、e want desperate women having babies at 50?也许有些人本来就不该生孩子Maybe some people arent supposed to procreate.也许这就是世界优胜劣汰的方式Maybe this is the worldrs way of weeding out the weak. You see?如果让我说我认为这是在滥用科学If you ask me, this is a ridiculous abuse of science.现在有基因改造的精♥子♥人造子♥宫♥You hav
33、e now designer sperm and these simulated wombs.有个好主意Heres a good idea.其实我们可以集体来进行淘汰-Why dont we just eliminate men altogether? -Hey!我不需要一个正在植发的人教我什么科学才是正确的I dont need to be lectured about science by a man whos doing crop rotation on his forehead.米兰达的荷尔蒙会产生作用不是因为约瑟夫Miranda went off the hormones, not
34、because of what Joseph said,是因为她年仅33还有左卵巢but because she was only 33, she still had her left ovary, 还不想就此放弃希望and she wasnt ready to settle out of court.也许哪天她会去把她的卵子冷冻Maybe someday there would be eggs in her freezer.但不是现在But not yet.同时夏洛特不想再费神探究这位神秘郎君Meanwhile, Charlotte decided to stop trying to fig
35、ure out her creature of mystery, 她要纵情享受 and just enjoy.雪儿？Cher?我喜欢她I love her.她真的很耐磨Shes such a survivor.慢着Wait.我得问你几件事情I have to ask you something.你和男人在一起过吗？Have you ever been with a man?没有No.你和女人在一起过吗？Have you ever been with a woman?对不起我是想到Im sorry, it*s just.普蒂布克鲁Betty Buckley and.玛莎史都华和辛西雅罗莉Mart
36、ha Stewart and, and Cynthia Rowley!你是男同性恋吗？你的排卵有点迟缓It appears you have a lazy ovary.排卵迟缓？A lazy ovary?对你的右卵巢停止制♥造♥卵子了Yes. Your right ovary has stopped producing eggs.它有没有可能是在闹罢♥工♥ ?Is it possible its just on strike?我知道是怎么回事I know what this is.我的右卵巢已经放弃了希望My right ovary ha
37、s given up hope认为我不可能结婚生子that I will ever get married and have kids.就像庭外和解一样Its like working on a case that you know is gonna settle out of court.何须多此一举？Why bother?你的左卵巢至少还相信你Well, the left one still believes.我的生物一向不及格Im a biological underachiever.我的右卵巢上了哈佛大学真是讽刺And its ironic because that ovary wen
38、t to Harvard.我的子♥宫♥易位I have a tilted uterus.-那又怎样？ 所以精虫得跳过障碍-So? -So the sperm have to jump才能会合我的卵子over that hurdle to get to my egg.那里至少还有一颗卵子Yes, but once they get there, there will be an egg.我想另外找一家妇产科你喜欢你的医生吗？I need a new gynecologist. Do you like yours?现在不喜欢Not right now, no.至少她是个
39、女人Well, at least shes a woman.我试着去看过男医生但是很奇怪I tried to go to a man, but it was just too strange.他把时间全花在下面结果连高♥潮♥和帐单Are you gay?夏洛特Charlotte,我是个35岁住在切尔西区的西点师♥父♥Im a 35-year-old pastry chef who lives in Chelsea.我如果是个同性恋If I were gay,早就是同性恋了I would be gay.一直不想做♥爰&hear
40、ts;的是你Youre the one who doesnt want to make love.现在我可以想了I wouldnt be so sure about that.知道史蒂芬不是同性恋之后Charlotte was relieved and delighted夏洛特总算放心了to discover Stephan was definitely straight,至少他不是百分之百的同性恋or at least a gay straight man.坦白来说在到达两次高♥潮♥之后谁还会在乎那些？Frankly, after two orgasms, who
41、 the hell cares?隔天早上莎曼珊终于明白The next morning, it dawned on Samantha她对多明尼克复仇的决心并不如她的欲望来得强烈that her desire for revenge was not as strong as her desire for Dominic. 你醒了Youre awake.没错Yes.你真是美极了Youre so incredibly beautiful.我会想你的Im gonna miss you.什么意思？What do you mean?我和安卡决定再试一次Anka and I are giving it an
42、other shot.完全是为了经济的考量Its mostly financial.你不能这么对我You cant do this to me.我很抱歉不-I know, Im sorry. -No.不No, no, no, no, no!应该是我对你说抱歉Im supposed to do this to you.这一切不是我的计划I had a plan. This is all wrong!我该走了I should go.你滚Get out!我说过我要走了I said I was going.你休想再击垮我Stop beating me to the punch!当历史重演的时候As s
43、he watched history repeat itself, 莎曼珊才知道她无法像多明尼克一样无情 Samantha realized she couldnt do what Dominic did, 因为她还没有完全的进化 because she hadnt evolved past having feelings. 但这也算是个好消息And in a way, that was nice to know.-早安-早安睡美人-Good morning. -Good morning, sleepy.什么味道这么香？Something smells amazing.蔓越莓脱脂奶烤饼Its
44、warm cranberry buttermilk scones. 和柠檬酱-Mm! -And lemon curd.我要再和你约会下去准会胖个十磅If I continue dating you, Im gonna gain ten pounds. 那你还是会很美丽Youll still be gorgeous.-想不想喝茶？ 好谢谢-You want some tea? -Yes, please.这是什么声音？What is that noise?什么声音？ 有点像老鼠的叫声-What noise? -Its kind of. its like a squeaking.我的天Oh my G
45、od, oh my God.真的是老鼠It*s a mouse.你确定吗？ 在灭鼠毡上-Are you sure? -Yes, its in that glue trap.哪里？Where?那里Uh. there. Oh, ew, ew!它的腿粘住了Its legs are stuck!你快想想办法-Ew! Get it out! -Ew, do something.别踢给我一拿走-Well, dont kick it to me! -Get it out, get it out!你能做些什么吗？ 它碰到我了-Ah! Will you do something? -It touched my skin!它碰到我了It touched my skin! Itrs coming out that way!我的天Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.这时候夏洛特了解到她男性的一面At that moment, Charlotte realized her masculine side还没进化成形而史蒂芬的女性特质wa