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1、欲望城市（性♥爱♥专家凯莉布雷萧）“是非对错”夏洛特这阵子正在与布莱姆沃克医生交往My friend Charlotte was dating Dr. Bram Walker.他是个勤奋的整形外科医生a very hard-working orthopedic surgeon.布莱姆？Bram?干嘛？What?你睡着了吗？Were you asleep?没有我只是在闭目养神No, no, I was just resting my eyes.我的天Oh, my God.好吧我只睡了一秒钟Okay, I fell asleep for one second.我的天Oh
2、, oh, my God, I.我从五点到现在都没睡连续做了三个Ive been up since five, I had three carpal tunnels.累人的重建手术Its very exhaustive reconstructive work.他和我做♥爰♥的时候竟然睡着了He fell asleep when he was making love to me.亲爰的他只是累了Sweetie, he was tired.这与你无关This has nothing to do with you.男人和你做♥爱♥的时候有睡着过
3、吗？Has a man ever fallen asleep making love to you?没有我想他们多半都想睡吧No, but Im sure many of them wanted to.没想到这种事会落到我身上I cant believe this happened to me!你要不要喝点药草茶？You want some herb tea? How about some herb tea? 我在床上的表现一定很差劲I must be really bad in bed.No, no, no, L.Im not gay.我只是有酗酒的毛病Im an alcoholic.我们正
4、在这里等着参加互助会We were just waiting for a meeting to start.我本来想为你介绍and I wanted to introduce you,但是我不能透露会友的名字but its supposed to be anonymous, so.我并不是觉得你们像同性恋Well, you know, I. I really wasnt getting the gay vibe from you, 只是他长得很帅再加上its just, uh, he was so cute and. and.-我没打电♥话♥给你-没错-I neve
5、r called. -Right.我戒酒已经11个月了You know, Tve only been in the program 11 months我的监护人要我在一年内and my sponsor said I really shouldnt get involved不能谈感情with someone for a year, and.好吧Well, okay.那你一个月后再打给我So, maybe youll call me in a month.你不在意我是个酒鬼吗？It doesnt bother you that Im an alcoholic?不会No, God, no.我喜欢酒鬼
6、No, I love alcoholics.我甚至也想当个酒鬼Hell, I hope to be one someday.我开玩笑的That was a joke.一点也不好笑Thats not funny, yet.喝杯咖啡也许就不一样了But it might be after a cappuccino.其实也不过只剩下几星期You know, what the fuck.Its only a couple of weeks.你改天愿意出去吗？Would you like to go out on a date sometime?有何不可？I cant think why not.你再联
7、络我You call me.于是我便接受了他的邀约So I accepted his kind invitation.其实想想看每个人都在戒某些东西Because when you think about it, arenrt we all in recovery from something?好比戒酒戒毒Drinking? Drugging?甚至是戒上一段感情Our last relationship?我们第一次约会是出去喝咖啡On our first date, Patrick and I went for coffee.我有点强迫症的毛病Hey, Im really compulsive
8、.只要打开一包薯片就一定要整包吃完If I open up a bag of Chips Ahoy, I. I gotta eat the whole thing.蕊丝皮鞋一出新款Im like that with Reeses Pieces.我也一定会去买♥♥Reeses Pieces and shoes.吃鞋子不太好消化吧？Wouldn*t the shoes be a little tough on digestion?我家到了Well, this is me.谢谢你凯西先生我玩得很愉快Thank you, Mr. Casey, I had a great t
9、ime.烫伤小姐我也过得很愉快Oh, no, Miss Burn Victim, I had the great time.于是我示意他给我一个告别吻Then, I gave him my very best lean-in-and-kiss-me-goodnight move.第二次出去晚餐时Our next date, over dinner,他谈了许多有关音乐的事he told me about working his 12 steps.饭后我站在楼梯上企图勾引他And after dinner, I stood on my third step trying to work him.好
10、香这是什么味道？That smell is amazing. What is that?我Me.我再打电♥话♥给你Fil, uh, call you.我实在想不通I couldn*t figure it out.我知道他想要我I knew he wanted me because during my因为在我靠近的时候lean-in-and-kiss-me goodnight move,意外的感觉到他的小♥弟♥弟♥正在对我“举枪致敬Fd accidentally on purpose felt his pop-up and s
11、ay hello.但他怎么没采取行动？So what was going on?第三次约会时我对他的渴望By the third date I wanted him even more已经超过蕊丝皮鞋了than a fistful of Reese*s Pieces.好了晚安Well； then, goodnight.就这样我的羞辱已经到达了极限That was that. Td hit my humiliation limit.但我又想到And then I thought,这个世上还剩几个可爱聪明性感的帅哥？how many cute, smart, sexy, single, smoki
12、ng alcoholics are there left in the world?五个吗？Five?你想上去吗？Do you want to come up?想Yeah.但是我从来没在But you see, the thing is.清醒的时候做♥爰♥过L Ive never had sex sober.我总是喝得酩酊大醉Ive always been drunk or high.我不肯定自己的表现如何I dont know if Ill be any good.管他的Oh, what the hell.船到桥头自然直Lets take it one step
13、at a time.性♥爱♥真是太神奇了Oh, sex.is amazing.真是不可思议It feels so fucking amazing.别人有这种感觉吗？Do other people know about this?太棒了All right! I did it!我再也不怕做♥爱♥ 了Sex without beer!冷静点牛仔Easy, cowboy.至于你You! What about you!你真是妙不可言You are the best.你也不差Well, you werent half bad yourself.不你是
14、最棒的No! You are the best.我是很努力I aim to please.等我们抽完这根烟After we have a cigarette, 可以再来一次吗？can we do it again?我要一份蛋饼Im gonna have a Spanish omelet,马铃薯煎饼再来一杯咖啡和柳橙汁hash browns, some more coffee, and orange juice.稍后再来一份布丁Oh, and, um, can I have some rice pudding for later?谢谢Thanks.你在准备冬眠吗？Storing up for w
15、inter?不我快饿死了No, Tm starving.我和派崔克忙了一夜把我饿坏了Patrick and I. all last night and Im just.你尽管说No, dont stop, its okay.我的表现差不表示你们都要和我一样I mean, just because Im bad in bed doesnt mean everybody has to be.你在床上的表现一点也不差是吗-You are not bad in bed. -Oh, really?有人在和你做♥爰♥的时候睡着吗？Has a man ever fallen as
16、leep making love to you?没有但我有一次差点睡着No, but I once fell asleep when a guy was doing me. It was the ludes. 无所谓Its okay.我是个成年女人我很清楚我擅长哪些事情Im mature enough to realize that while I may be good at some things, 比如服饰搭配但某些事却需要别人帮助like accessories. that I might need help in others like.好比上♥床♥ ?F
17、ucking?做 ♥爱♥Making love.所以我去报了一堂课SoIm taking a class.学习床上技巧吗？A fucking class?不是性♥爱♥研讨会No, a Tantric sex workshop.你只要别喝什么诡异的饮料或穿新布鞋就行了Well, just dont drink any suspicious Kool-Aid or put on new Nikes.讲师是一位德高望重的心理学家Its taught by this very well respected woman psychologist.这
18、堂课叫“如何取悦男人Ifs called, How to Please a Man.我知道如何取悦男人I know how to please a man.只要放弃你的权力就能取悦男人You just give away most of your power.我到健身房♥会找教练Look, I have a trainer for the gym.当然也可以找人I can have a trainer for.教你做♥爱♥ ?Fucking?别再说这个字了Please stop saying that.你真的要去上课？Are you. are you
19、actually going to do this?对Yep.人数还有限制我就帮你们报了名And, uh, seating was limited, so I signed you guys up.-拜托-我不能一个人去-Please, please? -I. I. I cant go alone.布莱姆要是再在我身上睡着And if Bram ever falls asleep on me again,我一定会死I will die.拜托求求你们好姐妹Please, pretty please, pretty please with sugar on it?我去Christ, Im in.好
20、吧其实去听听也无妨What the hell, I don*t exactly have them hanging from the rafters.如何取悦男人？uHow to Please a Man.我都可以开班授课了I could teach the damn class.好吧All right.当晚两个大卫先脱了衣服That night, while David and David got undressed在卧室里等她and waited for her in the bedroom,莎曼珊才开始犹豫Samantha began to wonder这次玩得会不会太过火了if may
21、be she was about to go too far.她能接受这种放荡的性♥爱♥吗？Was she actually capable of being this sexually free?还是她只是一时鬼迷心窍？Or was she getting in over her head?她认为在后悔之前She decided, before there were any regrets,他们应该再商量一次they should all talk about it a little more.大卫我想或许Listen, David and David, mayb
22、e.你真的好美You look amazing.就像红尘里的珍哈露Just like Jean Harlow in Red Dust.莎曼珊立刻爱上了他们眼中的自己Samantha loved the Samantha mirrored at her through the eyes of the Davids.试试又有何妨What the hell?真软Theyre so soft.没错I know.我做不下去I cant do this.我也是Neither can I.但是我我们才刚开始But I. Were just getting start.不我做不下去抱歉No. Cant Im
23、sorry.抱歉Sorry.你的确秀色可餐但我做不到Its very pretty, but.no.问题不在你是在我们Its not you. Its us.不如这样吧？I have an idea.我们穿上衣服去吃意大利果冻Lets all put on our clothes and go out for gelati!-或是起司蛋糕都好-Cheesecake. -Whatever.莎曼珊突然对自己丧失了信心Suddenly, Samantha wasnt feeling so good about herself in bed.我得走了不然会赶不上那个研习会I gotta go or I
24、m going to be late for the Tantric Workshop thing.宝贝你根本不用听研习会Oh, baby, you dont need a workshop.你是高手Mmm, you are amazing.我们再来一次Now, come on. Come on. One more time.昨晚和今早做得还不够吗？We did it last night and all this morning.和你整天整夜做♥爰♥我也不会腻I could have sex with you morning, noon, and night. N
25、ow, come on.这时我了解到Thats when I realized it.这个大男人根本不是和我做♥爱♥Mr. Compulsive wasnt in bed with me.他是在和一大袋的薯片挣扎He was in bed with a big bag ofChips Ahoy.“坦特罗的意思就是The intent of Tantric,神 圣的性♥爰♥uSacred sexuality/1体验神人合一的感受is to experience and merge with the divine.我看派崔克已经迷上我了I t
26、hink Patricks addicted to me.他想用我来取代酗酒Its like hes replaced drinking with me.在戒酒的家伙都很难搞Yeah, Program guys are tough.我和一个暴食症患者交往过I dated a guy who was in Overeaters Anonymous.我们只要一吵架And every time we had a fight,他就会开始狂吃圣代hed binge eat hot fudge sundaes.换句话说In other words, ladies,你能让你的另一半疯狂to drive yo
27、ur man crazy.他整天都想和我做♥爱♥He wants to have sex all the time.我都快控制不了了Ifs getting a little out of hand.至少他还想碰你Well, at least he wants to fuck you.他们是同性恋They were gay.那又怎样？So?前一秒还兴致高昂下一秒就没了兴致One minute they were interested and then, suddenly they werent.我到底做错了什么？What did I do to turn them o
28、ff?错就错在你没有老二Not having a dick would be the thing that you did to turn them off. 姐♥妹♥们♥这太没礼貌了You guys, Tm serious. This is rude.你可以用爱让任何一个男人对你俯首称臣And use it to bring any man to his knees with love, of course.我昨晚需要她的时候这个女人在哪里？Where was this bitch last night when I needed her?安静听你们
29、就会学到东西Shh. Shh! Be quiet and you might learn something.她是这方面的天才This lady is supposed to be a genius.她如果真的这么行If shes so good,干嘛在公♥寓♥里开这个研习会why is she having this workshop in her apartment?不要问我I dont know.“坦氏性♥爰♥不重理论而重于行动Tantric sex is not about talk, its about action.我们也要为
30、大家示范Delayed action.现在就立刻开始So.without further delay/容我介绍我的先生let me introduce my husband.罗尼莎菲洛博士Dr. Ronny Shapiro.由我来示范I will demonstrate最有效的生殖器按♥摩♥术the very effective lingam massage.我终于明白为什么在这开课了I think I know why were in an apartment.接受按♥摩♥者必须赤♥裸♥的躺在按&hearts
31、;摩♥者前方 The receiver lies on his back before the giver, naked.让生殖器完全曝露出来Genitals clearly exposed for the massage.你根本没在做笔记Youre not writing.按♥摩♥需要耐心Take your time doing this.如果是车祸一个半小时后An hour and a half later,或许还看不到车祸的真♥相♥crippled by our inability to look away from
32、a car crash, 但这对夫妇却呈现了垣氏性♥爱♥的效果we watched as the Dr. Shapiro illustrated Tantric sex.把你的手当成果汁机一样按♥摩♥龟♥头♥部分Massage the head of the lingam as if you are using an orange juicer.我早上吃的东西快吐出来了Well, there go my good feelings about breakfast.别吵了别丢我的脸好吗？Stop it! You*
33、re embarrassing me.现在丢脸的是我们吗？Oh, were the embarrassing part?接着抬起右手Now, place your right hand握住对方的命根子on the receivers root chakra.命根子Root!它就位在肛♥门♥和外生殖器之间The root chakra is located between the anus and the genitals.看来这五十元美金很值得Well, I think that I just got my 50 bucks worth, so.轻轻的唤醒这个部分G
34、ently rock your hand to awaken this chakra.你的表现不差劲You are not bad in bed.我这里有安抚情绪的Okay, Ive got, uh, Constant Comment and Tummy T.夏洛特还是你想喝缓和腹部的茶？Charlotte, honey, you want some Tummy Tamer?当然是她的关系Of course its her.这点我完全不惊讶And I have to say, Im not surprised.你看她做过踏板运动吗？Ever seen her on a StairMaster?
35、她的腰部以下都没有改变Nothing happening below the waist.怎么能这么说How can you say that?就算她的技巧不高明Even if she was bad in bed, which she isnt, 这很重要吗？is it really that important?当然重要Absolutely.床上的表现可以看出人在生活中的本质Who we are in bed, is who we are in life.我没看过床上表现差劲的男人在生活中有成就的I never met a man who was bad in bed who was go
36、od at life. 那你在床上的表现又如何？And just for the record, in bed, you are.这需要我赘言吗？Dont make me state the obvious.你怎么能这么肯定？How can you be so sure?从来没有男人和我做&hearts覆♥睡着的Well, no one ever took a nap while fucking me and.而且我每次都会得到证实I get affirmations all the time.不过上星期Why, just last week.上星期有一对同性恋请莎曼珊吃饭It
37、seems, last week, Samantha was invited to dinner 她认识他们好几年了这个部位在医学上叫做会阴Clinically referred to as perineum.在拉丁语的意思就是“结婚一定要有婚戒”Perineum, Not without an engagement ring.请那位在笑的小姐安静Will the women who are laughing compose themselves?谢谢Thank you.高♥潮♥虽然不是这种按♥摩♥的目的Orgasm is not the
38、 goal of lingam massage,却是种非常愉悦的副作用but can be a pleasant and very welcome side effect.请各位注意Watch what Im doing here.只要掌握住诀窍If you can master this,保证男人会永远效忠于你your man will always be faithful.因为他们只要做过这种按♥摩♥就永远忘不了Because once they go Tantric, they dont go back.加油You go, girl.看到没？看清楚了没有？Se
39、e that, can you all see this?我的天Oh, my God!他快要Hes gonna.米兰达还被他的精♥液♥喷到了And just like that, Miranda got hit by old faithful.有这么好笑吗？Whats funny?那天稍晚我和派崔克去看电影That night, after we talked Miranda in from the ledge, I met Patrick for a movie. 我今天和监护人谈起我对你的感觉So I was telling my sponsor today h
40、ow I felt about you,我突然觉得我应该告诉你and suddenly I realized, duh, maybe I should just tell you.凯莉我爱你Carrie. I love you.老实说,There it was.这是每个女人在交往之后the little phrase every girl is dying to hear都想听到的一句话a week and a half into a relationship.谢谢你我真的觉得Well, thanks and thats, uh, so.你觉得进展得太快了吗？Too soon. Is that
41、 what youre thinking?我们只交往了几天而已Well, we have been going out like a minute.该死可是我不想玩游戏Oh, fuck that shit. I dont want to play games.我只想忠于自己的感觉Im just trying to own my feelings.我爱你我说rI. I love you. I said it.凯西先生你并不是爱我Mr. Casey, you do not love me.而是爱上清醒的感觉罢了You love you not drinking with me.不我爰你No, I
42、love you.你听我说Okay, look.我真的受宠若惊Gosh, I am, L. itsIm so flattered,我们或许该放慢一点but I just think maybe we should, we should slow down a little here.什么意思？What does that mean?我只是觉得事情发展得太快了It just. it means that, you know, its. things are going very fast, and I just, 你初次体验到it. you know, you have all these ne
43、w feelings.-不喝酒的感觉.-不Cause youre not drinking. -No, no, no.别对我说这些互助会的说辞Dont give me that program bullshit.这件事和喝酒无关This has nothing to do with drinking.我爱你I love you.或许我们该分开几天Maybe we should spend a little time apart.我明天打电♥话♥给你Ill call you tomorrow.我不能上楼去吗？Im not coming up?忍♥耐几晚就
44、好了Just a couple nights.你要和我分手吗？Are you breaking up with me? Cause if you break up. 派崔克我不是要和你分手Patrick, Im not, Im not breaking up with you.我只是要进屋去Im just going inside.你明天打电♥话♥给我So call me tomorrow.我们下星期再碰面好吗？Well do something next week, okay?那我现在怎么办？What, what am I gonna do now?你应该去互助会
45、了Well, you should go to a meeting.然后回家明天打电♥话♥给我And then you go home and call me tomorrow.晚安Okay? Goodnight.下星期见Ill see you next week.走吧Go.买♥♥点饼干来吃Get yourself some cookies.与此同时夏洛特正在家里Meanwhile, across town at Charlottes.夏洛特你在做什么？Oh, my God, Charlotte, what are you doing?夏洛特你真棒Oh, Charlotte, you are good.我的天你真棒Sweet Christ. You are good.夏洛特认为