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1、欲望城市（性♥爰♥专家凯莉布雷萧并且勇于发问）“女人与鞋单身纽约客的周末总是脱离不了购物The single New Yorkers weekend is all about buying.新一♥期♥的“时尚”花The latest Vogue, fresh flowers, 送给前单身纽约客的礼物and gifts for previously single New Yorkers.我来认♥购♥伟克家的结婚礼品Hi, Im here for the Welker wedding registry? 我要认&h
2、earts;购♥汤勺和三把牛排刀 ril take the Newport soup ladle and three Bimini steak knives. 沛克家新生儿的礼品单The Baby Peck list.打嗝毛毯？The Burpee Blanket.还剩下什么？Okay, what is left?好 我认♥购♥四个咖啡杯Fine, fine, Til take four espresso cups和一个胡椒研磨罐and a pepper grinder.好就充气活动椅吧Yeah, okay, the L*il Me Activity
3、Chair.当晚史丹佛和我应邀参加That night, Stanford and I were invited to celebrate 琪拉和恰克布朗森的喜获麟儿派对the arrival of baby boy Bronson, latest son of Kyra and Chuck.小心点对不起-Easy, baby girl. -Sorry.你买♥♥的是什么史丹佛Hey, whatcha got in there, Stanny?彼得兔餐具组The Peter Rabbit dish set, with matching bib.原来被你抢走了Dang,
4、 you snagged that?都是你害我得买♥♥充气活动椅Oh, thanks to you, I was left with the Lil Me Chair.还有一张Oh, and get this,That is the craziest thing Fve ever heard.孩子和鞋子可不一样Children are not shoes.我知道我不会这么说I know, I know； Tm not saying it.你有权对鞋子这件事生气You have every right to be upset about your shoes.真受不了
5、那些有小孩的人I am so sick of these people with their children.放任孩子到处乱跑Im telling you, theyre everywhere.坐在我隔壁的头等舱席Sitting next to me in first class,在我旁边一桌用餐eating at the next table at Jean-Ge.卢卡斯Lucas.-卢卡斯快过来-你看看Lucas, get over here right now. -Look at that.这是喝咖啡的地方This place is for double cappuccinos,不是带
6、小孩的地方not double strollers.对不起Im sorry.不需要道歉Hey, no need to apologize.我不会带布莱迪来这里I wouldn*t bring Brady here.妈咪要用两手吃八美元的蛋糕Mommy needs two hands to eat her eight dollar cake. 你不护着孩子？Youre not gonna defend children?没错除了自己的小孩其余我都不爱No, I donrt like any children but my own.看看那个脏东西Look at that dirty little
7、rug rat.那只是巧克力孩子都很可爱Thats just chocolate, all children are beautiful.但都比不上布莱迪But, not as beautiful as Brady.那倒是Thats true.你们的新婚生活如何？Hey, so how goes the big matrimonial move-in?很好Good.哈利已把东西搬进来Harrys moved most of his stuff in,一切都进行得很顺利it*s going well,我只是要学会如何调适因为有时候and Im just trying to learn to co
8、mpromise because sometimes, 我有点太挑剔了I can be a little rigid.谁说的才不会No! Thats not true at all.只有一件事一件小事但Theres just one thing and its small but.令我很反感it really grosses me out.就是关于茶包的问题We have a tea bag situation.我了解Oh, I understand.只要用鼻子呼吸就好Just breathe through your nose.就是在你吸他蛋蛋的时候When youre sucking hi
9、s balls.什么？才不是What, no!我说的是I was talking about.哈利随手乱放茶包Harry leaves his old tea bags around the house.我还以为你指的是吸茶包Oh, I thought you meant tea bagging.,就是把男人的蛋蛋放在口中When you hold a guys balls in your mouth.为什么这叫Why is it called.我懂了因为它们是悬吊的Oh, I get it, because they hang.触碰嘴巴-Shh! -.and the dipping.够了Oh
10、, great.我不仅丢了鞋连胃口也全没了Now Fve lost my shoes and my appetite.真是太好了This is very good.除了浴室肥皂外You know what I love about living with you?你知道我为什么喜欢和你一起住吗？Besides those nutty little soaps in the bathroom?-什么？-和你住在一起-What? -Living with you.亲爰的Honey.有件事我必须要说I need to talk to you.什么事？Whats up, baby?我不是故意要找硝只是
11、I really dont mean to be a nag, but its just.关于这个Well, ifs this.茶？ 是茶包-Tea? -No, tea bags.你放得到处都是它们会留下茶渍You leave them all over the house and, well, they stain, 你可以再注意一点and maybe you could just try to be a little more careful. 该死我还以为我做得很好Damn, I thought I was doing so well, too.怎么了What do you mean?我
12、已经很小心翼翼了Well, Ive been really trying to watch my ass, 因为我是住在你家里you know, now that Im living in your house.这是我们家我希望你自在Its our house now, I want you to be yourself.我这个人总是横冲直闯的Yeah, well, myself is pretty much a bull in a china shop.那就在我们家里横冲直闯吧Well, then, yourre a bull in our china shop.准备要闯了Its a bul
13、l.知道了I get it.不准反悔Just making sure.好I get it.等一下Hold it. Ho, ho.你好洋基迷Hey, Yankee.欢迎搬进来Welcome to the building.多谢你的关照I have a feeling you had a little something to do with that.你算是欠我一份情Lets just say you owe me big time.你长痘了You have a pock.什么？What?在你脸颊这里On your face, right there.老天Oh my God.一定是被我儿子传染了
14、I mustve gotten it from my kid.我还以为你单身Oh, I thought you were single.我是I am.这真是完美的邂逅It was the perfect first conversation.没有痘子会更好minus the pock.把乳液和棉花给我快Alright, give me the lotion and cotton balls, stat!你不是真的要说快吧You don*t really say stat”不是但听起来很顺No, but it sounds good, doesnt it?他就是细菌传播者吗Hey, so thi
15、s is the little germ disseminator.他名叫布莱迪Also known as Brady.趁你还有力气的时候快离开Run while youre still breathing.没关系我4岁时得过水痘了No, no, its okay, I had the chickenpox when I was four.你去哪里Hey, where you going?他真可爰Hey, hes a winner.希望哪天我也有这样的小孩I really want one of these someday.他看起来很像你You know, he looks just like
16、 you.一是吗? 对-You think? -Oh, yeah.来吧妈咪-Hey, sweetie pie. -Okay, mama,来了here we go.其实这个我可以自行处理You know, I could do this myself.没错但我是专家Yeah, but Im a professional.梅格这位是罗伯特里兹医生Oh, Magda, this is Dr. Robert Leeds.他刚搬到楼上来-你好-Hes moving in upstairs. -Hi.表aNice to meet you.我带孩子去午睡I take baby for nap.好Okay.你
17、这里也长了一个Oh, hey, hey, you got another one.好没什么大碍Okay, Ms. Hobbes, I think youll live.-不过不能抓这是医生的命令-好的吧-But no scratching, doctors orders. -Okie-doke.对米兰达而言罗伯特就是最佳处方For Miranda, Robert was just what the doctor ordered.凯莉什么风把你吹来了Hey, Carrie, what a surprise!我想把这个还给你Well, I was in the neighborhood, I th
18、ought you might want these back.你不必这么客气Oh, you didnt have to return these.我已经忘了这回事I had forgotten all about them!有我鞋子的下落吗Any news on my shoes?没有真奇怪You know what, no, its weird.你找到珍妮佛的凉鞋了吗So, this Jennifer, did you ever find her sandals?什么？What?如果她穿了我的鞋Well, if she took my shoes,她的凉鞋应该会留下来she would h
19、ave left her sandals.我想做个称职的鞋探Just being a bit of a shoe detective here.我没有她的消息I havent heard from her.天啊凯莉我真是的Oh, my gosh, Carrie, I am such a shit.我应该赔你鞋子的钱I should have offered to pay you for them.你不必这么做No, no, you dont have to do that.一有孩子就把基本礼仪都忘了You know, you have kids and you lose all sense o
20、f social decency.请进-Come in. -Okay.麦罗帮妈咪把你的玩具收起来-Milo, honey, put your trucks back for Mommy. -Okay.那双鞋要多少钱？So, um, how much were they?485美元Uh, 485.拜托凯莉这简直是抢劫Crmon, Carrie, thats insane!它们就是这个售价Well, thats what they cost.我会付你200美元Ell give you $200.这样说实在很尴尬Okay, this is an awkward conversation.抱歉但在鞋子
21、上花那么多钱上实在不值得Im sorry. I just think thats crazy to spend that much on shoes. 你以前也穿曼诺罗的鞋You know how much Manolos are, you used to wear Manolos. 没错在我有真实人生之前Sure, before I had a real life.但恰克和我有责任要负But Chuck and I have responsibilities now,孩子房♥子kids, houses.485美元？485, like, wow.亲爱的Hi, honey.我也有真
22、实人生I have a real life.我没有恶意凯莉但我们不想No offense, Carrie, but I really dont think we should have to pay 为你的奢侈负责for your extravagant lifestyle.谁叫你自己要买♥♥那么贵的鞋I mean, it was your choice to buy shoes that expensive.但也不是我自己要脱下那双鞋的Yes, but it wasnt my choice to take them off.只不过是一双鞋Theyrre just
23、shoes!鞋子Shoes.她羞辱我She shoe shamed me.我被羞辱得体无完肤I left there covered in shame.她是个贱♥人 ♥Shes a fucking bitch.重点就在于她不是But she isnt, thats the thing.她变了一个人Shes become this whole other person.生了孩子之后整个人都变了Its like shes had two cesareans and a lobotomy.她该赔偿你She owes you for those shoes.不不是钱的事我不
24、在乎那笔钱No, its not about the money. I dont care about the money. 我说的是女人关于鞋子的主♥权♥Im talking about a womans right to shoes.她何苦要羞辱我Why did she have to shame me?因为她身陷自作自受的地狱无法翻身Because shes trapped in a hell of her own making.等一下我在说我自己No, wait, thats me.我真的痒到受不了I am dying to scratch these,但若
25、抓下去情况会更糟but if I do, itH be worse.你的水痘如何了How are they today?好恐怖Biblical.简直就像有病毒在我屋子里There is literally a pox on my house.要不是BBC电台正在播放If there wasnt a Jules and Mimi marathon“爰在他乡”我真想跳到窗外去on BBC America this weekend, Td have jumped out the window.说到英俊黑人男性Hey, speaking of handsome black men.你最近还常看至r尼克
26、医生”吗Have you spotted any more of Dr. Knicks?还说呢Dont say spot.我一脸痘花哪里都不敢去No, as a leper, Tm laying low.但他应该在这栋大楼里But according to my sources, hes officially in the building.我的生活中充满鞋子而非孩子Hey, is it bad that my life is filled with shoes一是一件很糟糕的事吗别再说了and not children? Stop it!她这个贱♥人♥竟让你有这种
27、感觉And she is a fucking bitch for making you feel this way.天啊Oh, God.我们小的时候马罗汤玛斯曾唱过When we were young, Marlo Thomas sang to us关于接纳他人不同之处的歌♥about accepting each other and our differences.但长大之后But then we got older,我们各唱各的调and started singing a different tune.也不再尊重各自的生活选择We stopped celebrating ea
28、ch others life choices and started qualifying them.难道接纳只是一个幼稚的概念Is acceptance really such a childish concept?还是我们一向都是如此？Or did we have it right all along?我们何时不再随性做自己了 ?When did we stop being free to be you and me?第二天早上The next morning,夏洛特发现哈利十分随性Charlotte learned just how free the real Harry could b
29、e.（鲨鱼的牙齿很漂亮）? Oh, the shark has Pretty teeth, dear ?（它毫不遮掩地将它们展示出来）? And he shows them ? Huh, huh, huh? Pearly white Da-da da-da-da ?.早.早-Morning! -Hi.? Ba da ba ba. ?你是不是要洗澡Are. are you going to take a shower?还没In a little while.显然哈利在这里已经全然自在了Apparently, it took next to nothing to make Harry feel c
30、omfortable.夏洛特觉得很困扰Charlotte felt completely trapped.她希望哈利在她家里很自在She wanted to see Harry be himself in her home.但却不希望看到他太过随性She just didnt need to see that much of him.与此同时我打算跟琪拉把话说清楚Meanwhile, I decided to bare all to Kyra.你好-? Clean it up ? -Hello?你好琪拉我是凯莉Hey! Kyra, its Carrie.我对那天的事心里有点挂碍Listen,
31、I feel weird about what happened the other day.我们是很久的朋友了Weve been friends a really long time and.我想把话说清楚I just. I want to clear the air.天啊凯莉我早就忘了那天的事了Oh my God, Carrie, I had forgotten about that days ago.我没忘这件事让我想了很多Well, I didnt, Ive been thinking a lot about it and.你一定是时间太多了Man, you must have a l
32、ot of time on your hands.麦罗Milo!穿上裤子真的Pants stay on, Im serious!不要光屁♥股♥跑来跑去凯莉Penises stay in the bathroom! Carrie,“随性做自己”的音乐专辑I also got him a CD of Free To Be You and Me.我喜欢马罗汤玛斯I loved Marlo Thomas!我五年级的时候常听那张专辑I played that album all through the fifth grade!我希望能跑得像风一样快I wanted to ru
33、n as fast as the wind.我常听“威廉想要洋娃娃”I played William Wants A Doll so many times 我妹妹差点变成一个男同志I almost turned my little sister into a gay man.你好Oh, hey!欢迎光临-Welcome to the party. -Hey.我是琪拉的妹妹玛佳Im Margot, Kyras sister.礼物放在那张桌上The gifts go over on the table,鞋子请脱在这里and the shoes go there.他们不希望把屋子弄脏Kyra and
34、 Chuck dont like outside dirt coming in.那对双胞胎总从地上捡东西The twins are always picking things up off the floor.但这是整一套的But this is an outfit.感谢你盛装出席Uh-huh, theyd really appreciate it.玛佳Margot!幸好我穿了我的派对袜Good thing I wore my party socks.如果早知道要脱鞋Geez, if Id known I was gonna be shoeless, 我会戴顶大帽子来弥补I would hav
35、e compensated with a big hat or something. 好吧Okay.你看我变得这么矮请等一下我马上回来can you hold on for one second? 1111 be right back, thanks. 喂？Hello?你好圣诞老人Hello, Santa?知道吗？You know what?我真是圣诞老人I am Santa.我粗略算了一下I did a little mental addition,我这些年来送给琪拉and over the years I have bought Kyra一份订婚礼物一份结婚礼物an engagement
36、gift, a wedding gift,送她去缅因州度蜜月以及三个小孩的礼物then there was the trip to Maine for the wedding, three baby gifts.总共我花了超过2300美元In toto, I have spent over $2,300庆祝她的选择celebrating her choices.而她竟不耻我花区区485美元在自己身上？And she is shaming me for spending a lousy 485 bucks on myself?没错我的确算过Yes, I did the math.但那些是礼物Bu
37、t those were gifts.如果你结婚生子的话I mean, if you got married or had a child,她也会送你礼物she would spend the same on you.倘若我没有结婚生子的话又该如何And if I donrt ever get married or have a baby.我什么都得不到？想想吧What, I get bupkis? Think about it.毕业后如果还是单身的话If you are single, after graduation,没有人会替你庆祝任何事there isn*t one occasion
38、where people celebrate you.你有生日We have birthdays.不每个人都有生日Oh, no, no, no, no, we all have birthdays.那不能算Thats a wash.我指的是单身女性I am talking about the single gal.贺轩也没设计出Hallmark doesnt make a, uh.像“恭喜你没有陷入错误婚姻的贺卡Congratulations you didnt marry the wrong guy card. 也没有单人度假用的餐具组And where is the flatware fo
39、r going on vacation alone? 没错Youre right. -Uh-huh.我不需要结婚礼物Why should I get wedding gifts?哈利已经是最好的礼物Finding Harry was gift enough.别这么说No, no, no, no.我想送你礼物来庆祝你的人生Im thrilled to give you gifts to celebrate your life. 但让我真正不爽的是单身的人受到歧视I just think it stinks that single people are left out of it.社会习俗演变成
40、So, the moral of the story appears to be, 除非我结婚否则琪拉永远不会送我礼物 until I get married, I wont be seeing nothing from Kyra. 开心果好不好吃-Oh. -Hows the pistachio?很棒要不要尝尝？-是吗-Its so good, you want some? -Is it? Yeah.与此同时莎曼珊正打算吃一顿工作午餐Meanwhile, Samantha was trying to have a working lunch. 我们被打断了Yeah, we got cut of
41、f.听好我要三个贵宾席及Look, I need to get him three VIP seats and.看看你Look at you!看你吃青酱面的样子Look at you eating your pesto!我不要什么特别席No, I don*t want any shitty house seats.不我不能No, I cant have any.不好意思这里不能用手♥机♥Excuse me, we donrt allow cell phones.你在开玩笑吧Are you kidding me?不是我再打给你-No. -Fil call you ba
42、ck.我知道这样会吵到别人I understand that my cell phone may be annoying to some, 但你们对那种噪音为何置之不理but what are you doing about that noise?我们没办法处理Theres nothing we can do about that.那只是小孩子Thats a child.莎曼珊忍♥无可忍♥And that was all Samantha had to hear.你好Hello.我知道我必须和你的孩子I understand that your child and
43、I在本市共存have to coexist in this city,但能不能请带他到别的地方吃快乐儿童餐but perhaps you could take him somewhere more appropriate 让我也能在这里舒服地用餐for a happy meal, so I could have a happier one.希姆这样做很不好Seamus, that wasnt very nice.我表达了我的意见他也表达了他的Well, Ive made my point, and hes made his.亲爱的Honey!亲爰的Honey?你好小美人Hello, beaut
44、iful.你好Hi.你知道我们该在这里恢复什么吗Do you know what we need to bring back in this house?鸡尾酒时间Cocktail hour.夏洛特发现有些事比茶包Charlotte realized there was something grosser更让人难以忍♥受than tea bags all over her house.那就是哈利的茶包在她的白色沙发上Her husbands tea bags all over her new white couch.哈利Harry!怎么了What?我受不了No I. I feel
45、 bad.受不了什么About what?我尽量不想啰嗦Well, Im trying to be less rigid而我也希望你能够自在and I really do want you to be yourself in our house.我知道我很感激I know you do, and I appreciate it.对于你的裸♥露♥我也快能接受了And. Tm almost used to the whole.naked thing.我知道我这样太过分了Ah, I knew it was too much. It*s just me.我会穿上衣服But I can put on clothes.不是No.我希望你能感到自在我只是I want you to be yourself