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1、下一案 纽约市对詹姆斯T库什队长的起诉-Next case, The City of New York vs. Captain James T. Kush.他因在自己租的船上种植和销♥售♥大♥麻♥而被捕He was arrested for growing and selling marijuana on his charter boat.等一下-Hold on.这是我遇到的最正常的一个案子了Yes, this is the least surprised Ive ever been.法官阁下我的委托人是在运营一项-Your Honor,
2、 my client runs a respectable business被大学学生狂热歌♥迷和伍迪.哈里森都喜欢的体面生意beloved by college students, Deadheads, and Woody Harrelson.伍辿.哈里森，好莱坞演员，22年的时候在西好莱坞开了家大♥麻♥药店 另外阁下我当时在公海-Plus, Your Excellency, I was in international waters.只有大海能审判我My only judge should be the sea.嗯你那是在东河-Um, you we
3、re in the East River.东河，是美国纽约州纽约市市内的一条潮汐型海峡，北接长岛海湾，南接上纽约湾，将曼哈顿岛与布鲁克林区和皇后区分隔开那里既不国际也不是海域Thats not international or water.不过判非法毒品交易这种重罪似乎有点重了Still, though, felony drug trafficking seems a little steep.额检察官你知道为什么地检办公室这次这么严厉吗？Uh, Counselor, do you know why the DAs office went so harsh?嗯？哦当然-Hmm? Oh, abs
4、olutely,我在听I am listening.本庭决定判处被告缴纳罚金后开释-The court chooses to let the defendant off with a fine并且严正警告“不许再在你的船上种大♥麻♥了啊!”and a stern donrt ye be growin1 any more cannabis on yer vessel, argh.好了老兄给你个建议-Okay, dude, a piece of advice -奇多不能当防臭剂Cheetos are not a deodorant.奥利维亚你没事吧？-Olivia, y
5、ou feeling okay?Prong one.确认Ch-Check.很抱歉周末还把你拖来这里古尔斯-Sorry to drag you down here on your weekend, Gurgs.好吧搞快点星期六是我写小说的时间-Well, make it quick. Saturdays are when I work on my novel. 我刚写到转折的地方I just got to the twist.他们一直都在潜艇上！They were on a submarine the whole time!哇喔！-Whoa!里边还有个角色是以你为原型的-And theres a
6、 character based on you.-什么？-但他一下子就死了-What? -But he dies like right away.真的死了吗？Or does he?真的死了！He does!所以艾比让你来干什么？So, what*s Abby got you doing?她要我带着她的调查研究副本-She wanted me to pick up copies of her research去一个全是傲慢自大的人组成的俱乐部to take to some snooty club.如果他们让我进去的话If theyll even let me in.好吧尼尔-Alright, N
7、eil,我受够你为了艾比而闷闷不乐Im tired of watching you mope around about Abby.她是你的上司而且她已经订婚了Shes your boss and shes engaged.你和她没可能的It*s not going to happen.但如果你想和其他女人来上一段的话But if you want to stand a chance with any woman,你知道该怎么做吗？you know what you need to do?祈祷你的书名气越来越大然后让人都知道-Hope your book gets big and people
8、recognize me我是那个一出场就死的酷哥？as the cool guy that dies in the beginning?我可没说你很酷-I didn*t say cool.你需要建立起自信You need to build up some confidence.然后换身行头尼尔Change your clothes, Neil.我们上那俱乐部去Were going clubbing.-我还能穿宽松的鞋子吗？-不不可以-Can I still wear comfy shoes? -No, you may not.好吧我的展示材料晚点才能送到-Okay, my presentati
9、on materials are running a little bit late,但我觉得我们可以先开始了but I think we should just dive in.我的第一页幻灯片是一组关键字云My first slide was a word cloud我会凭记忆描述给你听which I will now describe from memory.哦 对不起 我先接个电♥话♥-Oh, sorry, I got to take this.等一下啊！Hold on!是我投资经理打来的Its my investment guy.如果我没接他会很暴躁的If
10、 I don*t answer, he goes rogue.上回他看了纪录片之后要把所有钱都投到希拉洛斯上去Last time, he went all in on Theranos after the documentary.希拉洛斯是由伊丽莎白福尔摩斯(Elizabeth Holmes)创立的一家医药企业主推的是微流体♥检♥测，曾被喻为医药界的苹果，但其后被曝光产品实际 效果与宣传不符，篡改实验室报告等11项重罪，于2019年彻底关闭搞什么鬼?！What?!那快点回来我去给我们点些牛排-Hurry back. Ill get us some steaks,再来
11、两杯苏格兰威士忌哦别算上我-a couple scotches. -Oh, I cant.我正和一个护士来往她让我一天只吃两块牛排Im seeing a nurse. Shes got me down to two steaks a day. 丹你这是在干什么？我告诉你我能行的-Dan, what are you doing? I told you I got this.是的我知道但我刚帮上了你的忙-Yes, I know. No, Im just helping.听着这些家伙比你在州北部对付的那些翻牛贼Look, these guys are trickier than the cow ti
12、ppers”翻牛”(cow tipping)是美国的一个都市传说，大概是说你半夜去把睡着的奶牛推♥翻♥,牛就站不起来了。并无事实依据，多半是当地人喝多了取乐 而已和水上摩托流氓狡猾的多and Jet-Ski hooligans you dealt with upstate. 我们那也有些难搞的人物-We have some tough customers back home.毕夫,克拉特基特温克蜜脆西德曼上校Biff Cratchit, Wink Honeycrisp, Colonel Ciderman.译者:各处均为查不到此三人是谁，如有知道的，欢迎评论区告知 好
13、吧够了够了我不需要一个-Okay, fine, fine, fine, I dont need a rundown 违反谷物法的全明星清单 of the corn crime all-stars.我认识这家伙三十多年了Ive known this guy for 30 years 他对你毫无兴趣and youre not going to get any traction with him 除非你能搞清楚他想从你那得到什么until you figure out what it is he wants from you. 我觉得不一定我觉得我能说服他-I dont know. I think
14、I could sell him on this.人是会变得比如你People can change. You changed.是啊但我是独一无二的-Yeah, but Im incredible. 好了我们还要继续用煤！-Well, were sticking with coal!杰夫我觉得说关键词云可能有点抽象I think word clouds can be a little abstract.让我们说的具体点 Lets get concrete.你们的政策影响着实实在在的人Your policies affect real people.你知道吗艾比我觉得你该知道-You know
15、what, though, Abby, I think, you know, 也许我们的朋友更愿意谈谈maybe our friend would rather talk你怎样能更快速的审结他的案子about how you could fast-track his cases或者对他的朋友手下留情嗯嗯嗯？or go easy on his buddies, huh, huh, huh?给他开对所有孩子的限制令Get him a restraining order against all children.你在对这些人使眼色吗杰夫？Are you winking at any of these
16、, Jeff?事实上我已经不搞幕后交易了（直译为马匹交易）-Actually, fm not into horse trading anymore.除非你真的是在说马匹交易Unless you have an actual horse you - you want to trade. 我这正好有匹想要卖♥♥掉的I have got one I am dying to get rid of.所以不吃肉类不搞幕后交易-So, no meat, no horse trading.你变了Youve changed.有点意思-Thats interesting.丹我们该去弄点
17、吃的吗？Dan, should we get something to eat?我听说这里做的乌鸦不错I hear the crow here is excellent.的确他们把这叫做野乳鸽 绝对值得一尝-It is. They call it field squab and it is to die for.来份野乳鸽！Field squab!我真不敢相信你这么穿搭-I cant believe you wore that.你看着就像个减配的21点发牌员You look like an off-Strip blackjack dealer.额我看在奥♥运♥会上也
18、有人这么穿啊-Uh, I saw a guy dressed like this in the Olympics.是啊他还穿着溜冰鞋Granted, he was wearing ice skates.这块把我整不会了古尔斯我们还是放下文件就走吧I dont know, Gurgs. Lets just leave the folder and go.不你需要这个而且你属于这-No. You need this and you belong here.记得托尼罗宾斯说过Remember what Tony Robbins says.别名安东尼罗宾，成功♥学♥大&he
19、arts;师♥,著有“激发无限潜能”等书译者表示这类毒鸡汤学者我是不信的，什么“把工作当成享受”来接受两年天朝996的毒打看他还能说得出来？“滚出我的讲座尼尔你太让我失望了”-Get out of my seminar, Neil, youre bumming us out?说得好让我们来证明他是错的-Exactly, and were going to prove him wrong.跟我来就是了Just follow me.真是个美好的下午The finest of afternoons.我们来这是找亚瑟！We*re here to see - Arthur!亚瑟是你这老家伙
20、吗？Arthur, is that you, old boy?他们告诉我你会在这They told me you was there.我是这的人-I belong here.你当然是啊-Of course you do.温泉水三号♥桌Spa waters, table three.温泉水是一种由新鲜水果调制的提神饮料还有把领结带上And put on a tie.没人想看你的脖子No one wants to see your neck.我只是觉得我能在这个俱乐部里崭露头角-I-I just think I could really thrive in this club.我需要
21、的只是有人能引荐我成为会员All I need is someone to sponsor my membership.对不起女士我已经把这引荐名额-Sorry, miss, I already gave my one sponsorship给了我最小的儿子to my youngest son here.好吧我就不打扰你们喝粥了-Well, Til leave you to your mush.我把我的俱乐部衣服都放在工作的地方-I keep all my club clothes at work.审判结束我就穿上这个来到这俱乐部Trials end, I throw this on, sho
22、w up at a club,有时候DJ还没来得及放歌♥呢and sometimes the deejay hasnt even gotten to the drop yet.每个人都像这样子在等着Everyones waiting around like,而只要我一现身气氛立马就成了这样and then I show up and its like.奥利维亚你在这干什么？Olivia, what are you doing here?我在这干什么？-What am I doing here?我在利用一个女人对友谊得迫切需求I capitalized on a womans de
23、sperate need for friendship.你又来这干什么？What are you doing here?哦我是在指导尼尔如何建立自信-Oh, I was just teaching Neil a lesson in confidence.尼尔也在这？-Neils here?搞什么他们怎么什么人都放进来？What, they just let anyone in this dump?用这个方法来减少再次犯罪得数量-And thatrs the amount of recidivism reduced by this approach.那么 这就是这次陈述的画龙点睛之笔Now, h
24、eres the point in the presentation where I wouldve offered 而你一定会喜欢这个办法的you whipped cream to go with your pie chart, and you wouldrve loved it. 很好不得不说这让我大开眼界-Well, I got to tell you, this has been eye-opening.抱歉等我下-Excuse me.哦太好了有人找到我的ipad 了Oh； good, someone found my iPad.而我要做的就是回答And all I need to d
25、o to get it back一系列的问题来拿回它is answer a series of riddles.稍等我下Excuse me.那么杰夫你真的对艾比所说的事感兴趣？-So, Jeff, youre actually interested in what Abby is saying?哦我照单全收-Oh, Im eating this up.通常我得哄骗保姆Usually I have to bribe a nanny才能拿到目标的弱点to figure out a targets weaknesses.但她把所有我想要的材料直接送到了我手上But she is handing me
26、 all the material I need.想要改善社会？-Need to improve society?不是No.是增加我再次当选的机会To improve my chances of getting re-elected.我一直在找一个心慈手软的法官Fve been looking for a soft-on-crime judge来担下破坏纽约市的所有责任to be the face of everything destroying New York City, 而她就是个完美的替罪羊and she is the perfect scapegoat.第三杯威士忌第三次试探一切照旧
27、-Third scotch, third prong, system works.艾比第三杯威士忌生效了-Abby, the third scotch worked.他为了下一次竞选需要一个替罪羊He wants a scapegoat for the next election而现在目标就是你and its going to be you.那么现在我们已经知道他想要什么了So now we know what he wants.我们可以用这来对付他We can use it against him.我不想进行更多的试探了丹-I dont want any more prongs, Dan.不
28、不不不不试探环节已经结束了-No, no, no, no, no, were done with prongs.我们要进入下个阶段了Were into phases.现在阶段一包含五个环节Now, phase one has five prongs.丹别说了我想要对现状做出一些改变-Dan, stop it. I want to change things所以我不想重复走你们从那边那个鹿标本and Im not going to do that by playing the same games还活着的时候开始就一直走的老路youve all been playing since the wa
29、ll-deer had bodies.我只是不想你受到伤害-I dont want you to get hurt.谢谢你但是我能搞定的-Thank you, but I got this.我会按自己的办法来处理I want to do things my way.我了解了好好享受你的秀兰,邓波-I understand. Enjoy your Shirley Temple.秀兰,邓波，世界上第一款无酒精鸡尾酒，以著名童星Shirley Temple的名字命名是叫夏洛克.邓波-Sherlock Temple.他们不提供以女性命名的饮料They dont have drinks named af
30、ter women.这就是我停缴会费的原因Thats why I havent paid my dues.你们都该为自己感到羞愧You should all be ashamed of yourselves.今天不好过？-是啊事情都.-Rough day? -Yeah, its been -尼尔你这是在干什么？Neil, what is happening?你为什么在当酒保？Why are you bartending?嗯我是来给你送文件的-Well, I came to bring you that folder,而我意识到我从没做过which Im realizing I never di
31、d.而他们认为我是这的侍者所以我很自信的对他们说“这不是我的工作”They thought I was a waiter, so I said, HThis isn*t my job/1然后他们就把我升职做了酒保confidently, and they promoted me to bartender.实际上这工作很有成就感Its actually very fulfilling work.人人都想引起我的注意People want my attention.他们咨♥询♥我的意见这感觉很不错They ask for my advice. Its nice.所以想对
32、我讲讲你的故事吗？So care to pour me a story?只是觉得这里的事情比在州北部复杂得多-Just things seemed so much simpler upstate.这里似乎人人都有自己的盘算People here seem to have an agenda.我今天经历了很多-Ive lived a lot of lives today.而如果说这其中我学到了什么的话And if theres one thing Fve learned,那就是哪里的人都一样its that people are the same everywhere.小费真的很少Some ar
33、e just lousy tippers.嗯哼尼尔还真是一阵见血-Wow, Neil, thats really profound.这声音太吵了！That ice is really loud!哦我不知道冰在哪-Oh, I dont know where the ice is.我只能把我的钥匙放进去然后摇了做做样子I just put my keys in here and I shake them up for show.而如果有人想喝鸡尾酒我就向他们推荐苏格兰威士忌If someone wants a cocktail, I just recommend a scotch.我告诉他们”那是
34、泥炭味”I tell them its peaty.部分威士忌会使用泥炭工艺来阻止麦芽发芽，并向大麦释放烟雾效应这种威士忌会带有一种泥炭烟熏味，用PPM值表示浓烈程度泥炭这是一种烟熏味-Peaty. -It means smoky.你看这味道就像苏格兰沼泽水Look, its Scottish swamp juice.我不明白为什么有人会喜欢这味I dont know why people like it.皮蒂就是这个-Petey - That*s it.Petey与Peaty读音相近杰夫和个谷物犯一样Jeff is a corn crime all-star.而我知道有个人能帮我证明它And
35、 I know just the person who can help me prove it.额我不会帮你的-Eh, not going to help you.你只要告诉我我对杰夫的怀疑是否正确？-Can you just tell me if my suspicions about Jeff are right?额不行如果这猜测是对的-Uh, no, because if they are true,也许我能和他当面对质然后让他引荐我进俱乐部maybe I confront Jeff and he gets me into this club.你为什么千方百计的想进这个俱乐部？-Why
36、 do you want to be a part of this club anyway?这地方配不上你Youre better than this place.你以为我不明白？-You think I dont know that?我讨厌这个地方和它所代表的一切I hate this place and everything it stands for.这里的人全是傻♥逼♥这地方充满一股腐臭味The people are jerks, it smells like gravy,而且已经有八个男人来找我and eight different men came up
37、 to me问我我的丈夫让我投谁的票and asked me who my husband told me to vote for.但如果你想要更进一步这就是你不得不加入的地方If you want to get ahead, this is where you have to be.把要挟杰夫来加入这个俱乐部作为梦想对你来说格局实在太小了-Blackmailing Jeff to get into this club is not the dream.用你的努力和智慧You using your drive and intelligence爬上更高的位置让杰夫家的人to rise to a
38、position of power where all the Jeffs都想来要挟你 这才应该是你的梦想我是说 我知道你不喜欢待在这I mean, I know you dont like being here,但今晚这表现的太明显了but tonight it actually shows.当艾利贝登古尔在那的时候-Its hard to care about these other cases我实在很难关注这些案子when Eli Bettencourt is over there.等等艾利贝登古尔？在这？今晚？-Wait, Eli Bettencourt? Is here? Tonig
39、ht?那是谁？Who is that?就是那个有护士陪着的人-Hes the one with the nurse.他是这座城市里最大的政♥治♥据客之一Hes one of the citys biggest political power brokers.对我来说幸运的是他在晚餐后And luckily for me, he was assaulted回家的路上被袭击了on his way home from dinner.如果我赢了他不会忘记感谢我的If I win, Ill gain his undying gratitude而这将让我变成史上第一位性感的an
40、d be on my way to becoming the first classically hot最高法♥院♥法官Supreme Court Justice.好吧除非你把厄尔沃伦也算上Welt u-unless you count Earl Warren.厄尔沃伦，美国法学家，美国第14任首席大♥法♥官, 在美国宪法发生重大变化的时期主持了最高法♥院♥哦他可是个帅哥-Ooh, he was a smoke show.那么如果你不介意的话我听到命运的召唤了-Now, if youll excuse me,
41、destiny awaits.法官阁下本人地方检察官杰夫德威特-Your Honor, District Attorney Jeff Dewitt,代表纽约市representing New York City和我亲爱的朋友艾利贝登古尔and my dear friend Eli Bettencourt.接下来由我接手了艾莉西亚wants to blackmail you, thafs the real dream.你真觉得我能做到？-You really think that could happen for me?跟着我♥干♥迟早有一天有人会排着队想要毁掉你的生
42、活的-Stick with me and one day people will be lining up to ruin your life.好了杰夫德威特是时候谈谈了！Alright, Jeff Dewitt, lets talk!该死的为什么要在这装个帘子？Damn it, whyd that have to be a curtain?我感觉就像走进了澡堂子I just feel like I just stormed into a shower.没事起作用了继续说-No, it worked. Keep going.让我聊聊州北部的一个小小的丑闻-Let me tell you abo
43、ut a little scandal that happened upstate.你知道吗比夫.克拉特基特总能在You see, Biff Cratchit always won the Squash Art县集的南瓜艺术展上获胜但这仅仅是因为competition at the county fair, but that*s only because皮蒂古斯特每年都给他最好的南瓜Petey Gooster always gave him his best squash every year.但后来有一年比夫终于输了But the year that Biff finally lost wa
44、s the year因为皮蒂发现比夫睡了他老婆that Petey found out that Biff was sleeping with his wife.自那之后比夫就再也没赢过After that, Biff never won anything ever again.好吧我和所有男人一样都对这种带颜色的话题很感兴趣-Well, I like a carnival sex yarn as much as the next man.但这和我有哪怕半毛钱关系吗？But what the hell does any of that have to do with me?你刚才说漏嘴说你在和
45、一个护士约会-You let it slip earlier that youre dating a nurse.而前几天在法庭上And in court the other day,我看见你对着艾利的护士满脸挑逗I saw you making a flirty face at Elis nurse,我还知道这是他的妻子who I also learned is his wife.还是她女儿的前室友-And his daughters former roommate.真恶心Gross.我怀疑你睡了你最大竞选赞助商的老婆-I think youre having an affair with
46、your biggest campaign donors wife.这事要是传出去就像可怜的老比夫那样And if that comes out, just like old Biff,你的南瓜爸爸肯定会抛弃你youre going to lose your squash daddy,而这个南瓜对你来说可是每个选举周期80万美元and that squash for you is 800K every election cycle.故事很不错-Nice story.但你没法证明You cant prove it.是啊但我可以啊-Ooh, but I can.还记得你从我手里偷走的艾利贝登古尔的案子吗？Remember that Eli Bettenc