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1、周二甜食日快乐-Happy Treat Tuesday.这是我的惊世之作.This is my world-famous creation 一半巧克力的一半黄糖的（布朗尼）所以它们是米色的half brownie, half biondie so they come out beige.但是米色尼听起来太难听了所以我称之为卡其尼But Beige-ies sounds horrible, so I call them Khakis.快尝尝（跳进去）Jump in.跳进你的卡其尼？-Jump into your khakis?这里是司法大厅 不是康涅狄格州的配对派对This is a hall
2、of justice, not a Connecticut key party.你烤了很多啊-You did a lot of baking.是啊我得为劳拉做无魅质的-Well, I had to do gluten-free for Laura为提莫做加萩质的and gluten-heavy for Timo,桑迪对坚果过敏但又不愿说是哪一种and Sandys allergic to nuts but wouldnt say which ones,所以我做了六种不同的给他so I had to do six different kinds for him.这就像俄♥罗&hea
3、rts撕♥轮盘赌但是是美味的那种Its like Russian Roulette, but yummy.怎么啦不好吃吗？What, are they bad?不是它们很美味-No. Theyre delicious,这某种程度上更让我不爽which is somehow more annoying.猜猜谁回来了？文森特格拉齐亚诺-Guess whos back? Vincent Graziano.用了两天回来不超过两天半Back after 2 days. The over-under was 2.5.太棒了 ！哇哈哈！-Yes! Ha! Ah!快付钱哈哈！The under
4、takes it. Ah!这钱可来的真容易-Is it about where youre hiding the treats?因为我没看到你拿着Because I dont see any.事实上尼尔 是关于我做的一个决定-Actually, Neil, its about a decision Ive made.我总是提倡去深入了解被告人的生活Im always advocating digging into defendants1 lives, 而昨晚我对我自己进行了深入的自我检讨and, well, last night I did some soul searching on mys
5、elf. 是时候接受些残酷的现实了Its time a face some hard truths.我德不配位I don*t have a head for hats,所以我需要改变我对待这工作的方式and I need to change the way I approach this job.我是说我真的没有意识到我所做的事I mean, I didnt realize that the way I do things也许真的会伤害到他人might actually hurt people.所以从现在起我就做一个普通的法官So, from now on, I am just going t
6、o be a normal judge.普通的法官？-Normal judge?就是只判断对错Like one who calls balls and strikes,而不深入问问题那种？one who doesnt ask deep and probing questions?要取消这周五的One who will cancel this Friday*s把你的狗带来夜间法庭”那种？Bring Your Dog to Court Night?那个已经不在日程上了-Its already off the calendar.从现在起我将注重界限-From here on out, I am al
7、l about boundaries,法庭和其他地方的界限boundaries in the court room and all other rooms.明白了吗？现在古尔加努斯警官十分钟后开始Got it? Now, Officer Gruganous, start in 10.我的全名？我觉得我有麻烦f-My full name? I feel like Im in trouble.就像我妈妈叫我古尔加努斯警官的时候一样Like when my mama calls me Officer Gruganous.这是好事-This is good.这会让这里的事情顺利得多Things wil
8、l run a lot smoother around here.我们不该担心我们应该办个派对庆祝下We shouldnt be upset. We should be throwing a party.用什么甜点庆祝 丹？用什么甜点？-With what treats, Dan? With what treats?哦警官嗨-Oh. Officers, hi.嗯我刚从外边回来因为我的车被拖走了Um, I just came from outside where my car was getting towed.我.我追了那辆卡车三个街区I-I-I chased the truck three
9、blocks,然后我又不得不走十个街区回来then I had to walk 10 blocks back因为我跳上引擎盖后司机也不肯停车because the driver didnt stop when I jumped on the hood.你是不是把车停在红区了 ？-Were you parked in a red zone?因为红区禁止停车女士Because no one can park in a red zone, maam.-不不是但是我.我一直-N-N-No, but its - but I 我厌倦了像个普通人那样生活Im tired of living like a r
10、egular person.我得想办法解决这一切I gotta figure out what I can do to fix this.嗯我去和他们说说查清这一切-Well, I could talk to them, get to the bottom of it.哦好的好的这太好了谢谢你-Oh, yes, yes, that would be amazing, thank you.不用谢我 要谢就谢萨莎.圣地亚戈-Dont thank me. Thank Sasha Santiago.你到底是想帮忙-Is this about you wanting to help,还是只是想去做卧底？
11、or do you just want to go undercover?一嗯就不能都做吗？ 好吧好吧-Well, couldn*t it be both? -Okay, fine.让我们开始第一个案子-Lets call the first case.我们这就要开始了 ？Were just gonna start?但我还没有喊“全体起立呢But I didnt get to do me All rise.这是宪法规定的Thats in the Constitution.好的本案是对内特克拉布的公诉-Okay, The People vs Nate Crabbe.克拉布先生被指控D&D D&D
12、-Mr. Crabbe is charged with a D-and-D D-and-D.在玩“龙与地下城”的时候喝酒闹事Drink and disorderly while playing Dungeons and Dragons. 法官阁下我的委托人是一个18级的蛮兽人-Your Honor, my client is a Class-18 Barbarian Ogre 他因为太入戏了而挥舞起了他的战争号♥角 who got a little too into character swinging his war-horn. 这不是委婉的说法That is not a eu
13、phemism.如果是的话也许就不会这么难堪了It would be a little less embarrassing if it was.这里说你的委托人喝醉了并且挥舞着武器-It says here your client was drunk and brandishing a weapon. 所以这看起来很明确了So seems pretty straightforward.是的额没错但这里边有些情况-Yes, uh, yes, there are just maybe a few details 您应该考虑一下that you should consider.他们当时正在庆祝The
14、y were celebrating the wedding 圣骑士孔多尔和座狼未底改的婚礼 of Condor the Paladin and Mordecai the Warg. 而你知道人们在婚礼上是什么样的And you know how people get at weddings.法庭只对这件事的事实感兴趣-The court is only interested in facts from this realm, 所以我们能结束了吗辩护人？so can we wrap it up, Counselor?但我为这学了书呆子的东西-But I learned Nerd for thi
15、s.法官阁下我真的很欣赏Your Honor, I truly appreciate你的新工作方式your new business approach to the job,但是额也许你有点矫枉过正了but, uh, maybe youre overcorrected a bit.请求上前说话Permission to approach.驳回驳回？-Denied. -Denied?之前还真没发生过Thats never.happened before.请求倚靠?Permission to.lean?我其实很高的Im pretty tall.我觉得我可以I think I can -好了如果没有
16、其他陈述-Okay, if theres nothing further,法庭准备进行宣判the Court is ready to rule.鉴于被告的鲁莽行为In light of the defendants reckless behavior,我别无选择.I have no choice but to 这是一个错误-Youre making a mistake.你说什么？-What did you say?我认为你正纵容用你自己的问题-I think youre allowing your issues来影响对此案的判断法官阁下to cloud your judgement in th
17、is particular case, Your Honor.我发现被告别这么做-I find the defendant - -Dont.我发现被告别这么做-I find the defendant - -Nope.对菲尔丁先生藐视法庭进行第一次警告-Thats one count of contempt for Mr. Fielding.反对！ 凭什么反对？-Objection! -On what grounds?我引用安德森诉案的先例-I cite the precedent of Anderson versus.第二次警告-Make that two counts.法警把他收押起来并登
18、记在案Officer, take him and book him.好的现在你看-Okay, now, look,所有的帮派都会想收你了all the gangs are gonna want you.现在你能慢慢决定Now, take your time deciding.享受法庭吧Enjoy being courted.嘿嘿嘿是甜食星期二时间了 ！-Hey, hey, hey, its Treat Tuesday!所以我去了家面包店So I went to a bakery.我们要保持传统对吧？We gotta keep the tradition alive, right?那只是随便一个
19、周二尼尔不是什么真的传统-Just a few random Tuesdays, Neil, not really a tradition. 不像独♥立♥日（7月4日）的焰火It*s not like the fireworks on the Fourth of July 或者在2月3日（土拨鼠日后一天）吃一只土拨鼠那样 or eating a groundhog on the third of February.额提醒一下.Uh, quick heads up -唯一在凌晨一点开门的地方只有一家成人烘培店the only place open at 1:00 a.
20、m. was an adult bakery. 尼尔！-Neil!做糖霜的家伙不愿给A罩杯蛋糕加上胸罩-The icing guy wouldnrt put bras on the A-cup cupcakes. 我要求了但他回答“我不会去你工作的地方I asked, but he said I dont come to where you work 告诉你如何处理你的乳♥头♥ and tell you what to do with your nipples.听着 我只是想帮忙 而丹被关起来了Look, I just want to help, and with
21、Dan locked up,我只是试着做丹Im trying to be.the Dan.如果你想变的更像他-If you want to be more like him,那你可以试着在法庭上指出我的问题you could try pointing out my flaws in court.我正关注我自己的性格缺陷Im focusing on my own defects of character.而现在他有时间关注他的了Now he has time to focus on his.所以我知道我没有让事情变好-So, I know I didnt fix anything,但我让事情变更
22、糟了吗？but did I make it worse?这样就好Fair enough.如果有人问题我就说一切都很顺利If anyone asks, Im gonna say that this went well.呼叫呼叫古尔斯你听到了吗？-Check, check. Gurgs, you getting this?收到完毕-Audio, check.现在我只需要记住做卧底的两条准则Now I just gotta remember the two rules of going undercover. 准则一获取他们的信任Rule number one - earn their trust.
23、嘿伙计们有位置加我一个不？Hey, fellas, got room for one more?古尔斯！ 古尔斯！嘿快到这来-Gurgs! -Gurgs! Hey, come on over.信任完毕-Trust - check.准则二不要陷入恋爰Rule number two - dont fall in love.等等什么？为什么这是条准则？-Wait, what? Why is that a rule?我给你留了个位置古尔斯-I got a seat for you, Gurgs.他就是为什么这是准则的原因-Hes why thatrs a rule.不要陷入恋爰Dont fall in
24、 love.古尔斯记住你接受的训练Gurgs, remember your training.那么嗯你们在生哪个干法律人的气吗？So, uh, you guys mad at any lawyers?当然是他们所有人-Laughs Only all of them.既性感又风趣？他就像只独角兽-Hot and funny? Hes a damn unicorn.我陷太深了Im in too deep.嘿你徽章上沾了什么？-Hey, whats this on your badge?哦是意大利红酱Oh, its marinara.哦我能尝尝吗？-Oh, can I get a taste?够了
25、！-Okay!就这样了你出局了你这都投敌了Thats it. Youre out. Youve been compromised.行动取消取消Abort. Abort.什么那是什么?-What - What*s that?你那听起来断断续续的你肯定是离太远了Youre breaking up. You must be out of range.我就在12英尺外-Im 12 feet away.你听得到我说话！You can hear me!-上帝保佑你-嗯的确保佑我-Bless you. -Hm! Bless me, indeed.这里有人喷了劣质古龙水吗？-Sniffs Somebody i
26、n here wearing cheap cologne?没我只是喝了它-Nope, just drinking it.哦丹太好了你还在这-Oh, Dan, good, you*re still here.是啊你知道的他们用这个锁和栏杆的-Yes, you know, they have this intricate system复杂系统来确保我们没人能离开of locks and bars to make sure none of us leave.我真的很担心艾比-Im really worried about Abby.你能交了罚款然后和她去谈谈吗？Can you just pay th
27、e fine and talk to her?不我才不要凑上去让她清醒点呢-No. I will not go up there and pry her back to her senses.不止是一个异常-This is more than just a funk.她用古尔斯的全名叫她Shes using Gurgs* full name,她没有和任何一条缉毒犬说谢谢它们的付出she hasnt thanked any of the drug-sniffing dogs for their service,她还说起了你的“性格缺陷”shes talking about your defect
28、s of character1 -性格缺.-Defects of char-好吧我会去试试的All right, Ill do it.-真的？-是啊是啊是啊-Really? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.现在 快把我从这弄出去Now, just get me out of here.好的-Okay.我来对付那个大个子看守不不不不Ill take the big guard - -No, no, no, no.去把文书工作做了我会付罚金的Do the paperwork. Til pay the fine.哦谢天谢地我对付不了那个大个子看守-Oh, thank God. I couldnt
29、 take the big guard.看你这样子你的确不行-Not with that attitude, you cant.你怎么出来的？Howd you get out?我不想再提这事-Id rather not relive it.你付了 40美金是吧？-You paid the 40 bucks, didnt you?那太可怕了-It was horrible.那么听着我知道分享个人经历So, listen, I know that sharing, um, personal stories在这地方已经不怎么流行了is sort of out of vogue around this
30、 joint right now,但是嗯but, um.我已故的妻子莎拉在我们认识之前Sighs My late wife, Sarah, was in recovery已经在复健好几年了for a few years even before we met,而她总是坚持要为他人服务and she was always adamant about being of service to others.我总是觉得她做太过了I-I often thought that she went too far.我是自私的 我想要她和我在一起I was selfish. I wanted her to be
31、with me.但我很快意识到一个事实But I soon realized that it was as much, if not more,至少这对她比对其他人来说更重要for her than it was for those other folks.而当她无法帮助他人找到方向时And when she couldnt help someone find their way,这担子就压在了她身上it weighed on her.也许就和压在你身上的一样Maybe like this has been weighing on you.那她为什么要复建？-What was she in r
32、ecovery for?酗酒-Booze.我也是你怎么知-Me, too. How did yo-“性格缺陷”-Defects of character.,还有我想起来你有次把惊喜派对叫做“生日措施Plus, now I remember you once called a surprise party a birthday intervention/在我最糟糕的那段日子里 我错失了很多和我爸爸在一起的时间-I lost a lot of time with my dad when I was at my worst.和他一起时就感到羞愧Ashamed to be around him.但他总
33、是对我有信心But he always had faith in me.他说他会一直保持这份信心He said he was keeping that faith safe直到我自己再次找回它until I had it in myself again.我很高兴我能及时恢复Im glad I got into recovery in time for him让他能看到我好起来但是to see me get better, but.我觉得我永远无法弥补那段失去的时间I never felt like I could make up for that lost time.这也是我要到这里工作的原因
34、之一Its one of the reasons I took the job here,为了感觉和他在一起to feel connected to him.所以当事情不顺或者我陷入困境So when its not going well or I mess up,我就觉得又一次辜负了他its like Im failing him all over again.我了解哈利那人-The Harry I knew -你辜负他？You failing him?这种想法根本不会出现在他脑子里That thought would have never even remotely entered his
35、 mind.而且啊这里还有很多人And just - also, theres folks around here他们信任着你who have a lot of faith in you.谢谢丹而且你知道吗？-Thanks, Dan. -And you know what?想想看你是对的Think about it - you were right.格拉齐亚诺不是个罪犯Graziano wasnt a criminal.那么如果我是对的 那是不是说你就-So if I was right, that means that you -别别说下去了Its easy money.格拉齐亚诺已经因持有
36、被窃物品在Grazianos been arrested for possession of stolen items三周里被捕四次了four times in three weeks.是啊谁能猜到一个惯犯-Yeah, who could have guessed that a repeat offender会不会刷新记录呢？would not show up to paint the wall of a rec center?哦没错没有人Oh, thats right - everyone.我只是想着如果你能更有点同情心-I just think, if you show a little
37、compassion,你就能把人导向正路you can put people on a better path.嗯但听上去很累人-Yeah, it all sounds exhausting.而且太腻歪了Its all that caring.不用为我担心丹Dont worry about me, Dan.我总是充满感情的来说这些Ive always got my emotional-support grouch.你已经穿好背心了现在我能带你上飞机了And your vest came in. I can take you on planes now.（儿童单独坐飞机航♥空&he
38、arts;公♥司♥会让他们穿上显眼的背心, 这里说丹像老小孩）所以今晚你终于要严惩格拉齐亚诺了 ？-So, is tonight the night finally you throw the book at Graziano?这事里边肯定有问题-Mm. Theres something going on with that guy.这家伙几周前才开始犯事He only started committing crimes a few weeks ago.我有个想法要再试一试他Ive got one more little move Im gonna try on h
39、im.哈哈哈！-Ha!都交钱！交钱-Feed me! Feeeeeed me.好吧我很高兴看到你们和睦相处-Okay, I like that you guys are bonding,Dont - Don*t finish that.那如果你不介意的话Now, i-ifyou dont mind,在牢里待的这段时间可把我饿坏了my time in the clink has made me rather hungry.饿的我不想问为什么了Too hungry to ask.古尔斯我要把你踢出这个案子-Gurgs, Im pulling you off the case.可是我马上就要解决了呀
40、-But Im so close to cracking this thing wide open.我只要能单独搞定格雷森I just need to get Grayson alone.比如长周末 波克诺山心形浴缸Im thinking long weekend, Poconos, heart-shaped tub.我会从他那套出一切And I will get everything out of him.这太愚蠢了好吗？-This is stupid, all right?我要自己直接过去说这事Im just gonna go over there and say something.哦但
41、这会暴露我的身份-Oh, but youll blow my cover.你自己玩去吧-Youre playing yourself.好吧够了Okay, enough.我已经负责起诉你们逮捕的犯人好几年了I have been prosecuting your collars for years.然而就因为一个错误你们就把我拉黑了 ？Then one mistake and you blackball me?你们你们还拖走了我的车？You - You get my car towed?你们还扣留了证物室的礼品袋？You withhold evidence-room goodie bags?这实
42、在是太过分了This has gone too far.这些免费的东西是我该得的I deserve free stuff!我们都不知道你在说什么女士-We dont know what youre talking about, maam.哦是吗？这个破玩意你有印象吗？-Oh, yeah? This bad boy ringing any bells?顺便说下你认识来自-By the way, have you met内务部的理查兹警探吗？Detective Richards from Internal Affairs?自从我的同事被曝光之后Since the outing of our col
43、league,内务部就介入了LA. has been in tow.我明白了-I see.这就是为什么安全措施更严格了And that is why security has been tighter.-是一贯很严格-一贯严格-Its always tight. -Always tight.嗯 我我只是想向你展示我的派对彩灯Well, I-I just wanted to show you my.party light.谢谢你古尔斯Thank you, Gurgs.不用谢-Youre welcome.那么我知道他很吸引人Now, I know hes gorgeous,但如果你敢碰他我就干掉你
44、but you touch him, Ill kill you.有限制级甜点吃很难心情不好-Its hard to be in a bad mood around X-rated desserts.谢天谢地没人今天过生日Thank God its no one*s birthday.我都不知道上哪去弄蜡烛I wouldnt know where to put the candle.我猜每有一个顶级厨师就会有个垫底的厨师-I guess for every top chef, theres a bottom chef.我都不明白为啥大家面对这一盒下流东西-I dont know why ever
45、yones being so polite都突然绅士起来了我们就不能直接开吃吗？to this filthy box. Cant we just jump in?那开始吧古尔斯-Get in there, Gurgs.哇我的昵称回来了-Aw, my nickname is back.谢谢大家这周一直陪着我-Thank you all for hanging with me this week.在我需要的时候你们能支持我实在是太好了Its nice to know you*re there to support me when I need it.敬艾比-To Abby.敬艾比-To Abby.但我希望你们不要总是拿我的司法准则开玩笑but I wish it wasnt over mocking my judicial philosophy.哦你知道吗？-Ooh, you know what?这个拿来放我赢来的钱太合适了Thats the perfect size for my winnings.