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1、希利小姐，你还好吗？You okay, Ms. Healy?你不会像上次那样昏倒吧？Youre not gonna faint like last time, are you?不会Uh, no.那是我的结果吗？Are they my results?是的Oh, yeah.没想到那个心理测验很简单The psych test was surprisingly easy. - Mm-hmm.我以为他会问更多不过我很高兴他没一路往下问I thought hed ask more questions, although Im happy he didnt keep probing. 根据所有专业见解站
2、在你面前是身心健全的人Very well-put-together human over here, according to all the professionals.希利小姐,你确定你真的没事？Ms. Healy, are you sure youre okay?没事Yeah.如果你感觉到任何症状If you*re experiencing any symptoms可能影响你的绿卡申请you think will interfere with your green card application,你依法有告知的义务youre legally obliged to tell us.我很好
3、Im fine.天啊,我过关了吗？Oh, God, did I pass?希利小姐Ms. Healy,欢迎回到美♥利♥坚♥合众国welcome back to the United States of America.-你&hearts他♥妈♥是认真的吗？ 是的Are you fucking serious? - Oh, yeah.老天，你&hearts他♥妈♥是认真的吗?察德Oh, my God, are you fucking serious? Chad!USAiUSA!USA!U-S-A!你
4、最棒了爱死你了！或我会是个好丈夫吗？or if Tm even gonna be a good husband?你当然会是个好丈夫Oh, of course youre going to be a good husband.你们俩如此相爱而且达伯特是个很棒的年轻人Youre crazy about each other, and Dalbert is a wonderful young man.莉维说他很强势什么时候？Liv said he was pushy. - When?他不让我买♥♥那个大烛台那次When he wouldnt let me buy that
5、 candelabra.你还说我跟塞比较开心And you also said that I was much more fun with Se-跟我以前那些男朋友Some of my past boyfriends.我是这么说过，但我懂个屁I did say that. But what the fuck would I know?你害我开始胡思乱想，我就Well, it got in my head, and I.我做了傻事I did something stupid.出了什么事?宝贝What happened, love?-花送来了 谢天谢地Flowers are here. - Oh,
6、 thank God.靠，那是什么？Fuck； what are those?黑芍药，很大胆的选择Black peonies. A very brave choice.不对，我没有订黑芍No, okay, I didnt order black peo- - florist clears throat我还真的订了No, I totally did.啊，我可能在嗑药嗨时订的Oh, yeah, I may have done this when I was really high.黑色的花?是死亡的预兆Black flowers? An omen of death.我不能在婚礼上拿死亡花Well,
7、 I cant have death flowers at my wedding.我仓库里有一些粉红百合Ive got some pink lilies back at the warehouse.我可以拿来换Fil swap them over if you want.只要等我半小时到45分钟Only take me half an hour, 45 minutes tops.绝对不行-我们没时间了 -也许还有时间Absolutely not. We- We dont have any time.我要找达伯特谈一谈May- Maybe we do. I think I need to tal
8、k to Dalbert.不,听我说，你不用找达伯特谈No, hey, look, you dont need to talk to Dalbert.你只是有婚前焦虑Youre just having pre-wedding jitters.很正常，就是婚姻第一章,对吧？Its totally normal. Isnt it marriage 101?虽然我很不想承认,但她说得没错I hate to admit it, but I think shes right.而且你看，这才不是死亡之花其实很漂亮的Yeah, and look. Theyre not death flowers. They
9、re kind of amazing.在IG上绝对吸睛-没错，主题卷标“令人难忘的芍药They*! be awesome on the Gram. - Yeah, true. Hashtag memorable peonies. 有一只鸽子状况不太好Uh, one of the doves, not doing so well.我们需要马上准备糖水We need some sugar water in here, stat.死鸽子?是内疚和纷乱的预兆Dead dove? Thats an omen of guilt and chaos.我要打给达伯特了I need to call Dalber
10、t.婚礼前跟你的未婚夫说话？那是凶Talking to your betrothed before the wedding? An omen去你的，死神棍不是每件事都是凶兆Oh, get fucked, Ozzy Osbourne. Not everything is a bad omen.你要放轻松，好不好？And you need to chill, okay?我们只是出了一点小状况Were just having a few setbacks. The doves not even dead.鸽子又还没真的死一天啊，那只鸽子在抽搐man Oh, God, the doves having
11、 a fit. - dove grunting我只是心里有话要说出来I just need to get something off my chest.跟达伯特说会让你好过一点吗？Will talking to Dalbert make you feel better?也许会吧，会Maybe. Yes.应该吧，靠I think so. Fuck, I- I just can*t- I cant marry him until I talk to him.我不能我要先跟他谈过才能跟他结婚好，我载你去我们要去哪里？Okay, Til drive you. - Where are we going?
12、不行，我们要照行程走你都还没弄好No, we have a schedule. You dont have your things on.阿嘉，快走Gaz. Gaz, move.-妈，把钥匙给我别这样Mum, give me the keys. Give me the keys! - Hey.-小心我的头发你到底是怎么了？Mind my hair. - What the hell is wrong with you?拜托我们没时间搞这些Come on, we don*t have time for this.大家都在等你五点整走上红毯所以我们Everyone is waiting for yo
13、u to walk down the aisle at 5:00, so letfs我相信大家会理解的Im sure people will be understanding.我们可以往后延个半小时绝对不行,不可以We can push it back by half an hour. - Absolutely not, no way.我把所有行程都卡得好好的I have Tetris-ed everything perfectly这样我就能致词又能赶上飞机我们赶快so I can give my speech and still make my flight. So lets.你今天晚上要搭
14、飞机？Are you flying out tonight?对，节目发布会提前了，所以Yeah, the- The show launch got pulled forward, so.那你的绿卡呢？ 我领到另一张了Well, what about your green card? - Well, I got another one.你一句话都没说？And you didnt tell us?准备就这样不告而别？Were you just gonna leave without saying anything?妈,该怎么说呢？我不想再让你有机会把绿卡藏起来I dont know, Mum, b
15、ut I didnt wanna give you a chance to hide it again.原来这才是重点所在？Thats what this has all been about?你根本不在乎要帮我办个完美的婚礼You dont actually care about giving me a perfect wedding day.你只在乎你的电视节目All you care about is your show.-不,不是那样的我们的鸽子没了No, that*s not true- - Weve lost the dove.看来你们要参加的是葬礼了Looks like your
16、e going to a funeral.猜猜你嗑药嗨的时候谁去订了礼车？Guess you ordered the wedding car while you were high too.好吧那的确是凶兆Oh, okay, yeah, now thats a bad omen.也许我们能抽个几分钟跟达伯特谈，走吧You know, maybe weve got a few minutes to have a chat with Dalbert. Lets go. 你真是帅爆了你真是天才，我爱死你了You look incredible. Youre a genius. Im obsessed
17、.记得我们刚认识的时候你是很慢熟的人Remember when we first met? You were a fixer-upper.真的,像只皱巴巴的毛毛虫Oh, yeah, such a wrinkled little caterpillar等着破茧而出，飞入花花世界waiting to burst out like a social butterfly.我的天啊没错Oh, my God. - Yes.但你现在骚得像装满古♥柯♥碱的柏金包But now youre as hot as a fucking Birkin full of coke.真可爱Cute
18、.好，我们来干一杯敬现金收♥购♥、开放式格局Okay, heres a toast to cash offers, open-concept living,还有真爱and true love.敬达伯特和阿嘉To Dalbert and Gaz.邛可嘉,你搞什么？ 快把头发藏起来Gaz, what the fuck? - Hide his hair.女士们，我们新郎有紧急状况Ladies, weve just got a little bit of a groom emergency,还有19分钟处理一下and weve got about 19 minutes to
19、 get it sorted.你们可以先你闪边好吗？If you wanna have a quick- - Butt out, Liv.好啦，好凶Okay, wow.小达，我们能谈一谈吗？Dal, um, can we have a chat?你们过几小时就要结婚了要聊待会再聊Uh, youre getting married in a few hours. Chat later.这个很重要This is important.宝贝,没关系，我也很焦虑Babe, its okay. Im anxious too.看吧See, look at that.一切都很好，很正常,我们可以去Everyt
20、hings totally fine. Its normal. Were gonna go- 我背着你偷吃了I cheated on you.我的天，什么？Oh, my God, what?你这荡♥妇♥ 阿嘉！You slut. - Gaz!好Right.我们来谈吧Let*s talk.你欠我六块钱XWell, you owe me $6.听着，我对塞巴斯蒂安没感觉Look, I don*t have feelings for Sebastian.我只是我一时晕船了I just- I got confused,我以为我想要，结果一发不可收拾.and I got in
21、 my head like I do, and I just spiraled- 别说了，拜托Stop, please.你为什么现在跑来告诉我这些事？Why are you telling me all of this now?因为我不想用谎言开始我们的生活Because I dont wanna start our life together on a lie.我要你知道那对我毫无意义And I need you to know that it meant nothing.我猜我只是有疑虑I was just having doubts, I guess.对我们的事？About us?不是N
22、o. No.也许吧我是指婚礼，一切都太仓促了Maybe. I mean, about the wedding, rushing into everything, 所有决定都是你做的and you making all the decisions.我觉得我只是被拖着走I felt like I was just along for the ride.如果我不做决定根本会一事无成，阿嘉If I dont make the decisions, then nothing gets done around here, Gaz.你也很清楚自己是怎样的人-又寸，我很清楚You know what your
23、e like. - Yeah, I- I do know what Im like.我知道很蠢And I know it was stupid.我和塞巴斯蒂安亲吻的那一刻我就知道是天大的错误The moment that Sebastian and I kissed, I knew it was a huge mistake因为你才是我想共度一生的because youre the one I wanna spend my life with-但你非要回去找他才能想通But you had to go back to him to figure that out.对不起Im sorry.如果你
24、不能找我商量，道歉是没用的Sorry doesnt cut it if you can*t talk to me.真想不到阿嘉会这样对达伯特I cant believe Gaz would do that to Dalbert.我们都不清楚细节Well, we dont know the details.可能没那么严重May not be as bad as it sounds. - Yeah.你还在替他找借口？So youre making excuses for him?难怪他觉得自己的行为没问题No wonder he thinks his behaviors okay.谢谢你，碧昂卡,
25、但请你别鸡婆Thank you so much, Bianca, but you can back off now.我是梅冈,她才是碧昂嘉Its Megan. Thats Bianga.分♥析♥现实面,达伯特就像是豪♥宅♥Look at the facts. Dalbertrs like a luxury listing.他是性感的房♥地&hearts产♥经纪人是明日之星Hes a sexy real estate agent whose star is rising.而阿嘉在健身房♥工作Gaz.
26、 works at the gym.你那个化名难听得要命Okay, well, you were punished with a made-up name.劝你最好去含个薄荷You might wanna get a little mint.好,现在已经变成八点档闹剧了Okay, this is some Real Housewives-level drama going on,我看得很高兴and I am here for it.我的咨商师要我避免冲突My therapist told me to avoid conflict. - Lorraine scoffs那东西怎么会在那里？How
27、did that get here?是达伯特买♥♥给阿嘉做为惊喜Dalbert bought it as a surprise for Gaz.那个无私的混♥蛋♥Oh, that selfless bastard.我把整件事搞砸了,是吧？Ive really ruined everything, havent I? sniffles今天的重点是我们要成为一家人Today was supposed to be about us becoming a family.我们还是可以It still can be.小达，你是我真命天子Dal, yo
28、ure my guy,我爱你and I love you,我今天真的很想跟你结婚and I really, really wanna marry you today.你还愿意跟我结婚吗？Will you still marry me?达伯特没有家人吗？为什么伴娘是她们？Does Dalbert not have any family? Why are they bridesmaids?她们怎么穿成那样？What are they wearing?真的,她看起来像是关着灯打扮的I know. She looks like she got dressed in the dark.请起立Please
29、 stand.我们要这样吃闷亏吗？Think they should be going through with this?我觉得我们该说点什么闭嘴，奥莉维亚,别闹了I feel like we should say something. - Zip it, Olivia. Dont make a scene. 敢伤害达伯特，我们会杀了你Hurt Dalbert, and well kill you.你敢再威胁我儿子，我会杀了你Threaten my son again, and Ill kill you,而且不会有人发现你们瘦骨如柴的尸体and no one will find your e
30、maciated, flayed bodies.她是个疯子Shes a psycho.所以同志爱So. gay love.乂美Hello. Ames. Ames.我的行程搞乱了，我不能留下来跳舞My schedules totally screwed. I cant even stay for the dancing now.但你会错过我经典的派对舞步Oh, but youll miss me busting out my classic party moves.天啊别跳了Oh, my God, stop it.你的致词准备得如何？Oh. How are you feeling about y
31、our speech?我得弥补过去39年来Welt you know, Ive gotta make up亏欠家人的一切，所以我绝不能搞砸for the last 39 years of disappointing my family.你不会搞砸的So I cant fuck it up. - Youre not gonna fuck it up.是我耶Uh, its me.我做什么都搞砸，记得吗？算是我的专长I fuck everything up, remember? Its kind of my thing.妈妈和阿嘉从没这么生气过Mum and Gaz have never been
32、more pissed.我只是我以为会有更多时间I just- I just thought I would have more time.我就这么走掉好像不太对It feels wrong leaving like this.艾美Ames.我们要去建议树写点东西Uh, quick. Weve gotta go write something on the advice tree.我列了一整张报表Oh, I have a spreadsheet of thoughts.嘿,别忘了加一条Hey, make sure you guys add大干特干后记得要尿尿that you need to r
33、emember to pee after a massive fuck-fest.闭嘴，莉维-你好Shut up, Liv. - Oh, hello.真是好建议Good advice.我在想，也许你能留一支舞给我I was thinking maybe you could save me a dance for later?我可以教你几招，但我没办法Oh, well, I could show you some moves, but I cant.我要早点走去赶飞机I gotta bounce early to take my flight.你今晚就要去纽约了？-对Oh, youre goin
34、g to New York tonight? - Yeah.而且我的行程很紧连吃甜点的时间都没有And, urn, my schedule is really crunchy, so I cant even stay for dessert. 好吧Okay.看来要说再见了Well, I guess this is goodbye.我想是吧Yeah, I guess it is.除非,就是Unless, you know,你愿意屈服于终极诱惑you wanna finally give in to the ultimate temptation.好棒Oh, wow. - Mmm.真好吃Thats
35、 good. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.很高兴我们终于一起吃冰淇淋了Glad were finally having our ice cream. - Hmm.这其实是I mean, its kind of more of a.那种燕麦腰果做的An oat-y cashew thing.对Yeah.-但是很好吃，我喜欢-是很好吃Its nice though. I like it. - It is good.对Yeah.老实说，这趟回家诸事不顺，不过.I gotta say, coming home hasnt been easy, but.认识你不算是最糟的meeting you w
36、asnt the worst.对，我是真的会想你Yeah. Tm actually gonna miss you.靠，老兄，想念我没什么不好Shit yeah, buddy, Tm missable.通常这个时候我们会接吻，不过Well, normally, this would be the part where we kiss, but. 对Right.对Yeah.等一下Oh, one second.好Okay. Okay.靠Fuck.真希望我们在不同的时空相遇I just wish we met at a different time.对我懂Yeah, I know.别盯着我看,吃你的冰
37、淇淋Stop looking at me and eat your ice cream.好Yeah.Youre the best! Oh, its this guy!我要回家了！Im going home!希利小姐!别这样Ms. Healy! Please-他们才不在乎抱歉别碰国旗They dont care. Sorry. - Please dont touch the flag.这天啊，都是你的功劳!My- my flag. - This is- God, its all you!你应该加薪You should get paid more.谢谢你的付出,天佑美国！Thank you for
38、 your service!好God bless America! - Um, okay.美国！America!J You can call me the good-time girl J嗨,辛医师，你好Hi, Dr. S. Hi.我只是顺道过来送你这个Um, I just wanted to stop by and give you this.我出色的成绩单My impressive results.我想这也许能启发你其他的病人I thought it might inspire some of your other patients.我就放在这里Ill just pop it here.我
39、要感谢你始终相信我And I wanted to thank you for always believing in me.我没有I didnt.我百分之百认为你会失败1100% thought you would fail and possibly end up in prison.而且可能会去坐牢或是你想让我这么想我才会更鞭策自己Or thats what you wanted me to think so Id push myself harder. 非也Inaccurate.我今晚终于要飞出去了Hey.嘿Hey.想跳舞吗？Wanna dance?你会不会希望没有遇到这些事？Do you
40、 wish that, um. you hadnt gone through with this? 我知道你个性优柔寡断I know that youre indecisive, 在我们选酒杯时没关系and thats fine when wefre picking wine glasses.但牵涉到我们When it comes to us, 我们的感情问题 our relationship, 我要你很确定I need you to be sure.小达，我这辈子从没这个笃定过Dal, Ive never been more sure of anything in my life. 要再发生
41、这种事If anything like this happens again, 你要跟我说 you need to come to me.我们要能够谈这种事-好,我知道We need to be able to talk about this. - Yeah, I know.这不能等闲视之，阿嘉 This isnt nothing, Gaz.我们有可能就这么完了 -我知道This couldVe been the end of us. -1 know.小达，相信我,我知道Dal, believe me, I know.我发誓我绝不会再做任何事And I swear to you that ri
42、l never ever do anything 来危害这一切，危害我们 to jeopardize this, us,绝对不会 ever again. 你是我的生命You are my life.我真后悔做了伤害我们的事I just wish that I hadnt damaged this,要是我没有那么笨I hadnt been so stup-最完美的人生The most perfect life.是由人生中各种不完美构筑而成is made up of a lifetime of imperfect days.我很幸运能和你携手共度I am so lucky I get to spe
43、nd them with you.（薇乐莉:妹子行程在收件匣里，一路顺风）phone chiming宝贝，我有个很棒的主意Hey, babe； Ive got this great idea.要不要假装我们是在婚礼上邂逅的性感陌生人？You wanna role play that were sexy strangers at a wedding?我要去致词了Im gonna do my speech.致词Speech.你可以的，莉维Woo! You got this, Liv.抱歉Oh. Sorry.阿嘉Gaz你说得对,我是个自私鬼I am a bit of a selfish prick,
44、 you*re right.但是天啊，我真高兴看到你这么开心But, oh, my God, fm just- Im so happy to see you so happy.你是最棒的弟弟You are the best brother,最棒的教练the best trainer,也是全天下最棒的闺蜜and the best friend anyone could want. - Aw.我爱你爰到核心里I love you to my core.-不错吧？ 很会Yeah? - Not bad.你们喝得还不够多朋明就很好笑You guys need to drink more. That wa
45、s a funny joke.还有，妈And, Mum.虽然你经历了那么多事你一直是我们的基石despite what youve been through, youve always been our rock.是你的毅力把我们团结在一起你的爱让我们更坚强Your resilience has held us together, and your love has made us strong.谢谢你当我们的氧气Thank you for being our oxygen.我知道这是我们我们家不太提起的I know this is something that our- Our family
46、 dont really, um, talk about, 但今天有一个人缺席了but theres someone missing today.老爸Dad.你都说我们是超赞四人组You always called us your awesome foursome.你是大家的开心果是我们家的心脏You were the life of every party and the heart of our family,我真希望你能在这里和我们分享喜悦and I really wish you could be here to share this with us.他会以你为荣的，阿嘉Hed be so proud of you, Gaz.抱歉Oh, sorry.还有达伯特And, Dalbert.谢谢你爱我弟弟thank you for loving my brother他真是三生有幸as much as he deserves.谢谢你买♥♥ 了那该死的丑烛台And thank you for buying that fucking horrible candelabra.多亏有你,我们家又是四人组了Thanks to you, our family is four again.敬阿嘉和达伯特Uh, to Gaz and Dalb