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1、精锐教育学科教师辅导教案学员编号： 所属年级：小六课 时 数：3学员姓名： 辅导科目：英语学科教师：课程主题：写作授课时间：2018-01-05 17:30-19:30学习目标1.掌握常见的作文写作体裁和写作套路。2.认识并避免常见的写作错误。3.掌握中考作文写作要求和技巧。教学内容1.回顾上次课内容一.（总）知识梳理【知识梳理】1.中考写作常见考查方式：2.中考学生作文水平分析根据历年中考阅卷老师总结，总体上来说，中考学生作文分为五类： （1）优秀学生作文：结构清晰、开头语与结尾语短小精悍、能使用精彩句或词语,这是平时训练有素之结果，即为A类作文。 （2）中等偏上学生作文：结构蛮清晰，但是句
2、子中出现少许语法错误，即为B类作文。 （3）中等学生作文：结构上稍有欠缺，句中有少许语法错误，即为C类作文。 （4）中等偏下学生作文：从结构上来说，阅卷者能看到学生所要表述的内容，但是语法错误铺天盖地，此类作文为D类作文。 （5）学困生作文：这些学生对于作文来说，一是看不懂，则无从下手，所以只能抄个题目，然后或是空着，或是写个拼音等等敷衍了事；二是有一部分学生纯粹是抄阅读理解中的句子，结果可想而知，只能以0分收场。此类0到4分作文为E类作文。3.写作体裁及写作套路记叙文记叙文是以叙述为主要表达方法，按照一定的时间或者空间顺序记录生活中的经历和事物的发展过程。记叙文通常有两大类：侧重于写人的称为
3、人物记叙文；侧重于叙事的称为叙事记叙文。 记叙文要求抓住主题，然后使用相关细节加以说明。记叙文一般有六大要素：时间、地点、人物、事件、原因和结果。写人时要交代清楚人物、时间、地点和事件；叙事时要讲清楚事情的前因后果和发展过程。 记叙文常用来叙述往事，因此谓语动词常使用过去时态。 记叙文中还可以适当地进行描写，使得人物、场景生动活泼，增加文章的感染力。（1）写人 写人要写出个性，所谓的个性是指人的脾气性格、兴趣爱好和思想品质等方面的特点。 脾气性格涉及：热心的( warm-hearted)、大方的(generous)、耐心的(patient)、热情的(enthusiastic)、淘气的(naug
4、hty)、没耐心的(impatient)等； 兴趣爱好涉及：足球迷(a football fan)、影迷(a movie fan)、喜欢吃意大利食品(a fan of Italian food)、喜欢跳舞(like dancing)、喜欢打篮球(like playing basketball)等； 思想品质涉及：善良的( kind)、诚实的(honest)、忘我的(selfless)、不诚实的(dishonest)、狡猾的(cunning)、自私的(selfish)等。 人物的个性不能一两句话泛泛而谈，必须通过具体的事情反映出来，这样内容就会充实，才令人信服。常用的方法是通过一件事情反映一个人
5、的特点；也可以列举几个事例反映一个人的一个或者几个特点。 通过一件事反映一个人的特点，以作文题“Our Monitor”为例： (1) Our monitors name is Linda. (2) She is very kind and helpful. (3)1 0nce caught a bad cold and got a high fever. (4) The doctor told me to stay in bed for several days before I fully recovered. (5)I missed the lessons on Chinese, mat
6、h and English, and l was having a lot of trouble. (6) When l was worried about my studies, Linda came to see me and brought her lesson notes to me. (7) She helped me to deal with the missed lessons.(8) With her help,I managed to catch up. (9) Linda is really a good monitor! 该短文通过作者由于生病缺课，得到班长帮助一事，反映
7、了班长乐于助人的良好品质。短文由三个部分组成。第一部分(PI)介绍人物，确定主题；第二部分(P)具体描写人物，交代事件的过程；第三部分(P)重复第一部分的主题思想，起到强调作用。 写作套路1： PI S(1)介绍人物 S(2)确定主题，表明作者对人物的看法 P S(3)事件的背景 S(4)细节说明1 S(5)细节说明2 S(6)人物的行为 S(7)细节说明1 S(8)细节说明2 P S(9)重复作者对人物的看法 列举几个事例反映一个人的特点，以作文题“My Mother”为例： (1) My mother is a teacher at a secondary school. (2) She
8、is a kind woman and busy with her work. (3) As a teacher, she loves her students. (4) If they have any difficulty with their studies, she will help them patiently. (5) She is never tired of answering their questions. (6) As a mother, she takes good care of me. (7) Every morning she is always the fir
9、st to get up and prepares breakfast for me. (8) When I am in trouble, she tries to cheer me up and says its not the end of the world. (9) My mother seems to be busy all the year round. (10) She goes to work in the morning and comes home late in the afternoon. (11) Then she does all the housework and
10、 puts everything in order. (12) She is praised and respected by everyone. 文章由三部分组成。第一、二句为第一部分，介绍人物并且确定主题思想。第二部分列举了三个事例说明妈妈的特点(She is a kind woman and busy with her work.)：作为教师热爱学生，作为母亲关心我，以及一年到头忙忙碌碌。最后部分是作者对妈妈的评价，与主题思想首尾相顾。这种方法也可用来描写一个人身上的多种特点，每个事例针对一个特点加以说明，给读者留下一个比较鲜明、有血有肉的形象。 写作套路2： PI S(1)介绍人物 S
11、(2)确定主题，表明作者对人物的看法 P S(3)事例I S(4)细节说明1 S(5)细节说明2 S(6)事例 S(7)细节说明l S(8)细节说明2 S(9)事例 S(10)细节说明1 S(11)细节说明2 P S(12)作者的评价 在写人的时候可以采用以上两种套路。它们的最大特点是结构严密、安排合理、层次清楚，内容丰富、语句连贯、容易操作。（2）写物 写物的作文一般按照空间顺序展开。按照空间顺序就是按照物体、景观和场所的空间关系展开。写作时首先选择一个着眼点，然后从下到上或从上到下，从内到外或从外到内，从东到西或从南到北，从近到远或从远到近拓展。在文章中还需要使用表示方位的词语，使文章的脉
12、络有条不紊。 使用空间顺序法写物，以作文题“Our Classroom Building”为例：， (1) Our classroom building is in the north of our school. (2) It has four floors, with five classrooms on each floor. (3) On the first floor, there is a gym. (4) In the gym, we do physical exercises and play sports together. (5) On the second floor,
13、we have science labs. (6) We study physics and chemistry in the labs. (7) The language lab is on the third floor. (8) We have English lessons there and have opportunities for English films and television programs. (9) On the top floor, there is a library and a reading room. (10) The library opens on
14、ly in the afternoons. (11) We can borrow books from it.(12) The reading room is open to us from Monday to Friday. (13) We like to get together there and discuss about everything, from important plans, movie stars, the latest news to comments on our teachers. (14) In short, the classroom building is
15、a total activity and fun zone of our school. 文章第一句表明教学楼所在的位置。第二句确定描写内容，即教学楼内部的情况。从第三句开始介绍各个楼层的情况，每个层面都有细节描述。 写作套路3： PI S(1)介绍景物方位 S(2)确定描写范围 P S(3)位置l S(4)细节 S(5)位置2 S(6)细节 S(7)位置3 S(8)细节 S(9)位置4 S(10)细节1 S(11)细节2 S(12)细节3 S(13)细节4 P S(14)作者的评价（3）叙事 这类作文要求考生叙述生活中有意义的或者印象深刻的一件事情。写作应以空间顺序或者时间顺序为基本线索展开
16、。这些表示空间或者时间的词语都是理顺文章条理的信号词，要特别注意。 使用空间顺序法叙事，以作文题“A Visit to Nanpu Bridge”为例； (1) Last week we visited Nanpu Bridge over the Huangpu River. (2) Its a great destination for visitors because of all the attractions. (3) In the blue sky above the bridge,I saw little white clouds and flying birds. (4) The
17、y enjoyed freedom high up in the sky. (5) On the bridge,I saw a lot of cars and trucks. (6) The traffic was moving steadily and without difficulty. (7) The highlight of the trip came when we walked across the bridge and looked down at the Huangpu River. (8) From there we got a wonderful view of Shan
18、ghai along the river. (9) The river ran through the city and was sparkling in the sun. (10) Many ships were passing under the bridge. (11) This visit was really impressive! 这篇文章按照从上到下的空间顺序进行叙述。方位词语“above the bridge, on the bridge, across the bridge, under the bridge”的运用，使得文章的条理十分清晰。文章从第7句开始叙述游览最精彩的部
19、分，所以相关细节就更加充实。 写作套路4： PI S(1)介绍人物、时间和地点 S(2)确走主题，表明作者对事件的态度 P S(3)位置I S(4)细节 S(5)位置 S(6)细节 S(7)位置 S(8)细节1 S(9)细节2 S(10)细节3 P S(ll)作者的评价 使用时间顺序法叙事，以作文题“What a Day!”为例： (1) Yesterday we had a math exam and I had the worst sort of luck. (2)I had prepared my lessons well the night before and didnt go to
20、 bed until 12 oclock. (3)I didnt forget to set the alarm clock and hoped it would call me at half past six m the morning. (4) But when l woke up the next morning, it was already seven. (5)I immediately put on my clothes and rushed to the bus stop. (6)Luckily,it didnt take me long to get on the bus.
21、(7)Shortly after l got on the bus,I found I got on the wrong one. (8) So I got off and took a taxi to the school. (9) It never rains but it pours. (10) When I hurried into the classroom, to my surprise,I found I had left my schoolbag on the taxi. (11) What a day! 文章按照时间顺序展开。第一句交代了事件背景和文章主题(I had the
22、 worst sort of luck.)。叙述从考试前一天晚上开始，一直到作者冲进教室后发现忘了拿书包时结束，生动描写了作者运气坏透了的一天。时间词语的运用，使得文章的时间节点非常清晰，叙述非常流畅。 写作套路5： PI S(1)介绍背景和主题 P S(2)时间节点I S(3)细节 S(4)时间节点 S(5)细节1 S(6)细节2 S(7)时间节点 S(8)细节1 S(9)细节2 S(10)时间节点 P S(ll)作者的评价4.中考作文常见错误分析5.作文常见错误标题书写错误文章标题（title）应写在纸的第一行的中间，和正文之间应隔一至四行。文章标题的第一个单词的第一个字母必须大写。标题中
23、每一个实词的第一个字母也要大写。错误标题：a good Friend of mine正确标题：A Good Friend of Mine文章标题一般由名词、名词词组、介词短语、动名词、动名词短语或句子来充当。当陈述句作为文章标题，末尾不用句号。但如果是问句，末尾应用问号；如果标题是感叹句或祈使句，句尾用感叹号。错误标题：Make Our Country Green正确标题：Make Our Country Green！6.作文常见错误审题失误有些考生在审题时不够仔细，往往还没有看清题意就急于下笔，偏离了主题。例如，某省中考作文要求考生写一项自己最喜欢的课外活动。有些考生却将作文的主题定位为“我
24、最喜欢的活动”，偏离了“自己最喜欢的课外活动”的主题。根据中考作文的评分原则，若作文不切题，则不管语言如何规范、用词如何准确，都会被判为零分。请看下面的失误文章：Im a middle school student. I learn many subjects at school. At school, my classmates and I often take part in different school activities. Im interested in computer science and I often take part in the computer activit
25、ies in my school. At school, many of my school friends enjoys ball games, racing, music, dancing, art and so on. I learn to get useful things from the Internet. I think it is important to learn to use computers because they are used everywhere in our modern life. There is no doubt that computers wil
26、l be more and more useful.这篇文章通篇没有涉及课外活动这个主题，犯了审题不清的错误。需要指出的是，有些学生虽然审题成功了，但又犯了扣题不紧的错误。文章中的一些句子与主题思想无关，违反了单一性的原则。中考英语书面表达题的篇幅非常有限，因此，考生在写作时务必要精心组织教材，紧扣主题。下面这篇文章就有扣题不紧的问题。请你写篇报道，说明太白山旅游环境的变化。要点如下：太白山是陕西注明的森林旅游胜地。一年四季都有其独特的景色（scene）。不过，游览太白山的最佳时机是春天。每当春天来临，美丽的景色吸引了许多游客前来踏青观光。可几年前，游人不注意保护环境，乱扔垃圾，猎杀野鸟，点火
27、野餐，致使环境一度恶化。请你写篇报道，说明太白山旅游环境的变化。原文：Taibai Mountain is a famous place of interest in Shanxi Province. It has its special scenes all the year round, and spring is the best time to visit it. When spring comes, the days get longer and longer and the weather gets warmer and warmer. Trees are beginning to
28、 turn green, and flowers come out. Everything begins to grow. The mountains are covered with a lot of green tall trees and all kinds of colorful wild flowers. It is so beautiful that a lot od visitors come here and enjoy its beauty every day. But a few years ago, some of the visitors paid no attenti
29、on to protecting the environment. They used to throw lots of rubbish such as plastic bags, fruit skins and waste paper on the ground. They dont know that cleaners work from morning till night to sweep away the rubbish and waste things. Sometimes they broke some branches, picked flowers and even kill
30、ed birds. Some even made fires in the forest to cook food. How dangerous it was! Luckily enough, the local government has begun to do something to stop polluting the area. Great changes have taken place here. New roads and nice hotels have been built; trees and flowers are planted around them. Visit
31、ors are asked to take plastic bags and put their rubbish in them.点评：1.“When spring comes, the days get longer and longer and the weather gets warmer and warmer. Trees are beginning to turn green, and flowers come out. Everything begins to grow. ”这三句应当删掉。文章应以太白山旅游环境的变化为主题展开，与太白山有关的春景可以略写。用太多的笔墨去描绘春天，
32、这不仅使作文篇幅过长，也冲淡了主题。2.“They dont know that cleaners work from morning till night to sweep away the rubbish and waste things.”这一句也应当删掉。因为篇幅的限制，没有必要再去讨论清洁工是如何清理这些垃圾的。3.“New roads and nice hotels have been built; trees and flowers are planted around them. Visitors are asked to take plastic bags and put t
33、heir rubbish in them.”这两句同样应该删掉。本文主要谈论太白山旅游区原来环境破坏的问题和政府采取措施以后发生的可喜变化，没有必要描述基础设施的建设。总而言之，在写作时，应紧紧围绕主题展开，避免想起什么就写什么。随意发挥往往会淡化主题。修改后的文章：Taibai Mountain is a famous place of interest in Shanxi Province. It has its special scenes all the year round, and spring is the best time to visit it. When spring c
34、omes, the mountains are covered with a lot of green tall trees and all kinds of colorful wild flowers. It is so beautiful that a lot od visitors come here and enjoy its beauty every day. But a few years ago, some of the visitors paid no attention to protecting the environment. They used to throw lot
35、s of rubbish such as plastic bags, fruit skins and waste paper on the ground. Sometimes they broke some branches, picked flowers and even killed birds. Some even made fires in the forest to cook food. How dangerous it was! Luckily enough, the local government manages to prevent the damage to the env
36、ironment. Great changes have taken place here.7.作文常见错误用词不当书面表达题除了要注意结构严谨、条理清楚和句子流畅之外，还有按照语法规则遣词造句。这是写作最基本的要求，否则就无法准确地传情达意。请看以下文章：要求：李华平时总是忙于功课，很少做家务。母亲节这一天，她想帮妈妈做饭，却不小心切了手指，本想让妈妈在节日期间好好休息，却未能如愿。以“On Mothers Day”为题写一篇词数为80词左右的短文。要求条理清晰、意思连贯、语句通顺、标点正确。原文：Im usually busy with my studies and do few hous
37、ework when I come back from school. It was Mothers Day yesterday. I wanted Mum to have a good rest and I did all instead her. I got up early yesterday morning and bought a lot of vegetables, fish and meat in the market. I washed them and then began to cook. I was sure I could do as well like Mum. Ba
38、d luck! I cut one of my fingers and cried out. Mum and Dad rushed into and Mum asked Dad to take me to the hospital. When we came back, dinner ready. I felt sorry and said, ”Mum had a busy Mothers Day again!”点评：1.第一句中的“housework”是不可数名词，应用little来修饰。2.第三句中的“instead”是副词，后不能接宾语，这儿应该用instead of。3.第六句中的“l
39、ike”虽然可用作介词，意为“像”，但这儿是asas结构，因此此处应改为as well as。4.第九句中的“into”是介词，其后要接宾语。但是该句中并无宾语，所以改为副词in。5.第十句中的“ready”是形容词，不能单独作谓语，所以要使用动词be，组成一个句子。修改后的文章：Im usually busy with my studies and do little housework when I come back from school. It was Mothers Day yesterday. I wanted Mum to have a good rest and I did
40、all instead of her. I got up early in the morning and bought a lot of vegetables, fish and meat in the market. I washed them and then began to cook. I was sure I could do as well as Mum. Bad luck! I cut one of my fingers and cried out. Mum and Dad rushed into and Mum asked Dad to take me to the hosp
41、ital. When we came back, dinner was ready. I felt sorry and said, ”Mum has a busy Mothers Day again!”下面的文章也存在同样的问题。要求：请你写一篇介绍上海东方明珠电视塔（Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower）的文章，词数70词左右。原文：Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower stands on the east side of the Huangpu River. It is visited by thousands of people e
42、veryday. Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower is 468 meters. Its the tallest TV tower in Asia. We can see the whole city easily from the top of the tower. The building began in 1991 and was completed in 1994. And soon it was opened to public. Now everyday a lot of people visit it. It has become the cent
43、re of culture, entertainment and tourism in Shanghai.点评：1.第二句“It is visited by thousands of people everyday.”与第八句“Now everyday a lot of people visit it.”同义重复，没有必要。另外，everyday是形容词，表示“每天发生或使用的”，例如：everyday English。用作状语时，应该分开，写成every day。2.第三句“Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower is 468 meters.”当中少了high，应该
44、补上。意思是：“上海东方明珠电视塔的标高是468米。”3.第五句中的“easily”用词不确切。可以改成clearly，意思是“清晰地”，或者用其他表达方式。4.第七句中的“public”一词前应加上定冠词。be open to the public意思是“向公众开放”。修改后的文章：Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower stands on the east side of the Huangpu River. This TV Tower is 468 meters high, and its the tallest one in Asia. Within seco
45、nds, a lift can take us to the top. From there we can see the whole city of Shanghai. On a clear day, we can even see the Yangtze River. The building began in 1991 and was completed in 1994. And soon it was open to public. Now, a lot of people visit it every day. It has become one of the tourist att
46、ractions in Shanghai.8.作文常见错误中式英语不同的民族具有不同的语言表达习惯。中国学生在用英语写作时经常会受到汉语思维的影响，写出所谓的中式英语。要想克服这种困难，考生必须尽可能多地掌握一些英语复用式词语，了解这些词语的含义和搭配以及基本句式。同时，模仿英语文章的不同体裁，刻苦练习。只要方法对头，坚持不懈，一定会有成效。请看下面学生的习作：My home raises a lovely small cat. My family are always happy because of her. Because our cat food ran out, so I went
47、to the store to buy some for her yesterday night. Unluckily, there was big rain on my way home. When I got home, I was wet. Although I was wet, but I was very happy. No matter how to say, the cat would not be hungry.点评：以上习作的意思我们能大致看懂，但是文中多个词语明显受到汉语思维的影响，不符合英语的表达习惯。1.在第一句中，“home”的汉语意思虽然也是“家”，但它在指“家”时一般只指地点而不指人。根据英语的表达习惯