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1、读后续写动作描写Continuation Writing Description of Action目 录CONTENTS壹写作方法指导贰续写文本回顾叁学以致用肆学生成果展示 “What ails(使苦恼)you,lad?”said an old lady to a little boy,who sat near a wall at the back of her house.He had a book in his hand,tears in his eyes.“We have all got a poem called Little Jim to learn,”said the boy,w
2、hose name was Tom Blair,“and the one who says it best is to get a prize from the master.But I dont think I can learn it.”Why not?”said the old lady.“The boys say that I cant,and that I need not try,”said Tom in a sad tone.“Dont mind what the boys say.Let them see that you can learn it,”said the old
3、lady kindly.“But I dont think I can,”said Tom.“It is so long,and some of the words are so hard.I know I need not try for the prize.But I should like to learn the poem as well as I can,for the boys laugh at me,and call me Slow Tom”“Well,dear,”she continued,smiling,“if you are slow,and cant help it,tr
4、y to be slow and sure,as they say.Look at that snail on the wall;how slow it is!And yet,if you watch it,you will see it will get to the top in time.So just try to learn a few lines each day,and you may gain the prize in the end.And when you feel like losing heart,think of the snail on the wall.”With
5、 these words,she went on her way.And Tom thought that,though he could not keep up with the boys,he might run a race with the snail.So he determined to try to learn his task by the time the snail got to the top of the wall.At last,the day came when the master was to give the prize.Para1:After the mas
6、ter called up five or six boys to repeat the poem,it came to Toms turn._Para2:“Well done!Tom!Tell me how you made it!”said the master with great joy._ Para1:After the master called up five or six boys to repeat the poem,it came to Toms turn.Para2:“Well done!Tom!Tell me how you made it!”said the mast
7、er with great joy.Make a predictionCan you predict what para 1 will mainly talk about?possible answer:nervous/good performance/receive applaudes from students and his teacher./pride and delightpossible writing:He stepped onto the stage.He began to recite the article.Finally came the end of his recit
8、ation,the audience shouted loudly.As his teacher praised his excellent performance,he felt amazed.我我们们拿着拿着捕捕鸟鸟的工具来到雪地上,我的工具来到雪地上,我扫扫出出一一块块空地,空地,闰闰土把竹匾用木棍土把竹匾用木棍支在支在地上,在木棍上地上,在木棍上绑绑上上一根一根绳绳子,又把子,又把鸟鸟儿儿爱爱吃的秕谷吃的秕谷撒在撒在竹匾下。一切做妥当后,我竹匾下。一切做妥当后,我们们躲躲在在一棵大一棵大树树后,手里后,手里轻轻轻轻握着握着绳绳子的一子的一头头,观观察察鸟鸟儿的儿的动动静,不一会静,不一
9、会儿,一只小儿,一只小鸟蹦鸟蹦跳着朝竹匾跑来,机警地跳着朝竹匾跑来,机警地望了望望了望四周,四周,觉觉得得没有什么危没有什么危险险了,便了,便吃吃了几粒秕谷。了几粒秕谷。这时这时,我心一急,手不,我心一急,手不由自主地由自主地拉拉了一下了一下绳绳子,子,“哐哐”,竹匾倒了,竹匾倒了,鸟鸟儿受了惊,儿受了惊,飞飞走了。走了。“唉,唉,让让它跑了。它跑了。”我自我自责责道。道。闰闰土安慰我:土安慰我:“没关系,没关系,它是去它是去报报信,等一会儿会有很多信,等一会儿会有很多鸟鸟来的。来的。”果然,果然,过过了一会了一会儿,一群儿,一群“不怕死不怕死”的的鸟飞鸟飞来了,来了,叽叽喳喳叽叽喳喳往竹匾里
10、往竹匾里挤挤,等,等鸟鸟儿都儿都进进了竹匾,了竹匾,闰闰土土一一挥挥手手,我将,我将绳绳子子一拉一拉,哈,一只,哈,一只鸟鸟也也没跑掉。没跑掉。摘自摘自鲁迅迅 从百草园到三味从百草园到三味书屋屋 more vividPolish our writing by using(1)action chains(动作链)(动作链)(2)action scenes(动作面)(动作面)Guidance of the MethodsOOne方法一构建动作链 Action-chainOOnePre-actionTransit-actionPost-actionAction先前动作先前动作过渡动作过渡动作后续动作
11、后续动作动作链时间轴动作链时间轴瞄准瞄准扔扔绳索绳索套住套住牛牛套住套住牛?牛?先前动作先前动作过渡动作过渡动作后续动作后续动作动作链动作链Tie the calf?拦下车拦下车上车上车告知告知司机司机目的地目的地拦一辆拦一辆车?车?先前动作先前动作过渡动作过渡动作后续动作后续动作动作链动作链Stop a car?冲过去冲过去蹲下蹲下来来一把一把抱住抱住抱抱儿子?儿子?先前动作先前动作过渡动作过渡动作后续动作后续动作动作链动作链hug the son?他瞄准小牛脖子,扔去绳索,套住了小牛。他瞄准小牛脖子,扔去绳索,套住了小牛。使用A,B and C.连动谓语句他拦下车,坐上汽车,告诉司机目的地
12、。他拦下车,坐上汽车,告诉司机目的地。她冲过去,蹲下来,一把抱住儿子。她冲过去,蹲下来,一把抱住儿子。He _ the calfs neck,_ and _successfully.He _ the taxi,_ it and _ the driver his destination.She _forward,_ and _ his son into her arms.动作链动作链aimed atthrew the ropetied the calfstoppedgot intotolddashedsquatted downgathered他蹲下来,轻轻地拎他蹲下来,轻轻地拎(lift off
13、)起猫咪来,踱步到了火车出口。起猫咪来,踱步到了火车出口。He_,carefully_the cat,and_to the exit of the train.使用A,B and C.连动谓语句OOnesquatted downlifted offpaced slowly 他停下马,看了下敌人,便带领着军队从山谷上冲了下来。他停下马,看了下敌人,便带领着军队从山谷上冲了下来。使用A,B and C.连动谓语句He_the horse,_the enemy,and_thousands of armed troops to_pulled uptook a look atleddash from t
14、he valley他瞄准小牛脖子,扔去绳索,套住了小牛。他瞄准小牛脖子,扔去绳索,套住了小牛。A,B and C Doing/Having done A,sb.did B,doing C.He aimed at the calfs neck,threw the rope and tied the calf successfully.the calfs neck,he threw the rope,the calf successfully.(前后非谓语前后非谓语)Observe and ConcludeObserve and ConcludeHaving aimed attying 2.2.他
15、拦下车,坐上汽车,告诉司机目的地。他拦下车,坐上汽车,告诉司机目的地。灵活使用非谓语句He stopped the taxi,got into it and told the driver his destination._动作链动作链A,B and C Doing/Having done A,sb.did B,doing C.Having stopped the taxi,he got into it,telling the driver his destination.3.3.他停下马,看了下敌人,便带领着军队从山谷上冲了他停下马,看了下敌人,便带领着军队从山谷上冲了下来。下来。灵活使用非
16、谓语句He pulled up the horse,took a look at the enemy,and led armed troops to dash down from the valley._动作链动作链A,B and C Doing/Having done A,sb.did B,doing C.Having pulled up the horse,he took a look at the enemy,leading armed troops to dash down from the valley.听到音乐,孩子们当即停下了吃饭,开始摇头晃脑,手舞足蹈。听到音乐,孩子们当即停下
17、了吃饭,开始摇头晃脑,手舞足蹈。_,the children_ their lunch and _ their heads and bodies to dance.使用Doing.,A and B.句式Hearing the musicstoppedbegan shaking收到魔法学院收到魔法学院(the Magic Academy)的录取通知后,哈利波特的录取通知后,哈利波特兴奋地跑起来躲避着愤怒的叔叔。兴奋地跑起来躲避着愤怒的叔叔。_the letter of admission from the Magic Academy,Harry _ excitely to escape from
18、 his angry uncle.使用Having done.,A.句式Having receivedrushed to his feet在女孩们的指引下,她翻到明信片的背面,结果却发现背在女孩们的指引下,她翻到明信片的背面,结果却发现背后画着年少的自己。后画着年少的自己。Under the girls guidance,she _the post card,_a drawing of her youth on the back.使用A,only to.句式turned over only to find被法院宣判后,他坐进了囚车被法院宣判后,他坐进了囚车(prison van),意外发现人们
19、,意外发现人们在外面等待着送别他。在外面等待着送别他。_by court,he_the prison van,_ people waiting outside to see him off.使用Having been done,A,only to.句式Having been sentencdsat in only to find Conclusion:动作链公式:动作链公式:1.原型:原型:A,B,and C2.变形:变形:(1)Doing A,sb.did B,doing C.(2)Having done A,sb did B,doing C (3)Having done A,sb did
20、B,only to do C.(4)Done,sb did B,doing C.方法二构建动作面Action-sceneAction-sceneOOne一个一个动作动作镜头1肢体动作肢体动作描写:手部,脚部,身体的描写:手部,脚部,身体的动作。动作。动作面动作面镜头2面部神态面部神态描写:描写:表情,眼睛,耳鼻口的动作。表情,眼睛,耳鼻口的动作。镜头3语言语言描写:描写:主人公所表达的口头语言。主人公所表达的口头语言。镜头4心理心理描写:描写:主人公内心的思索活动。主人公内心的思索活动。颁奖时颁奖时感谢感谢Bob镜头1肢体动作肢体动作描写:描写:拿着奖品拿着奖品动作面动作面镜头2面部神态描写:
21、面部神态描写:看了一眼奖品看了一眼奖品镜头3语言描写:语言描写:说说“感谢感谢Bob!”镜头4心理描写:心理描写:感到兴奋感到兴奋举手举手回答问题回答问题镜头1肢体动作描写:肢体动作描写:举手举手动作面动作面镜头2面部神态描写:面部神态描写:微笑微笑镜头3语言描写:语言描写:小声说小声说“我来!我来!”镜头4心理描写:心理描写:被老师鼓舞被老师鼓舞她感到兴奋,手里捧着奖品,看了一眼后,说,她感到兴奋,手里捧着奖品,看了一眼后,说,“谢谢谢谢,Bob!”灵活使用非谓语受到老师的鼓励,她举了手,微笑着小声说,受到老师的鼓励,她举了手,微笑着小声说,“我来!我来!”_,she _the prize,
22、_,“Thank you,Bob!”Feeling excitedheld and glanced atsaying_by the teachers words,she_,_and _“I volunteer”.Encouragedraised her handsmilingwhispering她站在空旷的路边,仰望天空,感受着这份珍贵的平静。她站在空旷的路边,仰望天空,感受着这份珍贵的平静。_ the empty road,she_into the sky,_.肢体心理使用Doing,A,doing.句式面部Standing besidelooked upfeeling the precio
23、us peace 他欣喜若狂,拿着伞,在雨中又唱又跳。他欣喜若狂,拿着伞,在雨中又唱又跳。肢体心理肢体_,he _ his umbrella,_ and _in the rain.使用Done,A,doing and doing.句式Overwhelmed with joyheldsingingdancing贝贝坐在泳池边,双臂低垂,贝贝坐在泳池边,双臂低垂,(droop)眺望远方,思考眺望远方,思考自己是白熊猫还是黑熊猫。自己是白熊猫还是黑熊猫。面部肢体心理肢体With_,Beibei _the pool,_and _whether he was black or white.使用独立主格,
24、A,doing and doing.句式his arms droopingsat besidelooking into the distancewondering一个一个动作动作镜头1肢体动作描写肢体动作描写动作面动作面ConclusionConclusion镜头2面部神态描写面部神态描写镜头3语言描写语言描写镜头4心理描写心理描写整体整体局部局部Rewrite Para1Original draft He stepped onto the stage.He began to recite the article.Finally came the end of his recitation,t
25、he audience shouted loudly.As his teacher praised his excellent performance,he felt amazed.Pre-actionTransit-actionPost-actionAction先前动作先前动作过渡动作过渡动作后续动作后续动作动作链时间轴动作链时间轴He stepped onto the stage.A,B and CPre-actionTransit-actionPost-actionAction清嗓子清嗓子向观众打招呼向观众打招呼开始背诵开始背诵动作链时间轴动作链时间轴He began to recite
26、 the article.Tom cleared his throat,greeted everyone politely and then began his recitation.肢体肢体肢体肢体语言语言Action动作面动作面The audience shouted loudly.A,doing and doingThe audience rose from chairs,applauding for his great performances and cheering loudly:“Oh,my God!”肢体肢体心理心理肢体肢体Action听到老师的赞扬听到老师的赞扬无法抑制内心的
27、激动无法抑制内心的激动高兴地跳起来高兴地跳起来动作链时间轴动作链时间轴As his teacher praised his excellent performance,he felt amazed,jumping with enormous joy.Doing,sb.did sth,doing sth.Original draft He stepped onto the stage.He began to recite the article.Finally came the end of his recitation,the audience shouted loudly.As his te
28、acher praised his excellent performance,he felt amazed.polished draftTom got up and toward the front slowly but in a confident way.However,there was laughter and whispers from the boys in the classroom,saying Tom would fail.Hearing this,Tom remained silent but his footsteps were steady.He even manag
29、ed a smile.Facing the whole class,Tom cleared his throat,greeted everyone politely and then began his recitation.He was slow but he did not miss even a single word.He recited the poem so fluently that all his classmates were astonished at last.polished draftThere was a momentary silence.All of a sud
30、den,the audience rose from the chairs,applauding for his great performances and cheering loudly:“Oh,my God!”Hearing their thunderous applaudes,Tom failed to contian his excitement,jumping with enormous joy.PracticeThe scene:reunion(重聚重聚)Tom was separate from his dog for a long time.When he went back
31、 home,.(40-60words)Show TimePossible answer:When Tom went back home,the dog rushed to him,wagged her tail and barked with joy.Happiness took hold of Tom as soon as he saw the dog.Tom bent down,gave her a bear hug,saying:“I miss you so much!”Then,tears of happiness/joy flowed down his cheeks.The house was turned into a sea of happiness.Thanks for Listening