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1、欲望城市（性♥爰♥专家凯莉布雷萧并且勇于发问）“男男女 ♥女 ♥n据说纽约人是以冷漠出名的Its been said that New Yorkers are the most jaded people in the world.事实上是因为我们见怪不怪了The fact is, weve pretty much done and seen it all.没有多少事情能使我们震惊It takes quite a bit to shock us.所以当夏洛特说她办的新展览时Which is why when Charlotte said t
2、he new show at her gallery会吓我们一跳would totally blow us away,我们其实不以为然we took it with the proverbial grain of salt.说真的那是个女人？Seriously. Thats a woman?这是摄影家巴尔强森最新的展览取名为It was the latest installation from the photographer, Baird Johnson, entitled, “变装国王：当假象遇上真实“the Collision of Illusion and Reality.,没错那是个
3、女人Yep. Thats the woman.看看那肿胀的胯下真是令人震惊Look at that bulge. Its shocking.在朱立安尼勒令关闭前赶快欣赏Yeah, I know. Hurry up and look before Giuliani shuts it down.你觉得怎么样？So, what do you guys think?太棒了恭喜你亲爰的Its amazing. Congratulations, sweetie.女扮男装现在很流行You know, women dressing like men is very popular right now.我以为过
4、气了And here I thought it was Pokemon.谁知道它其实很简单Who knew it was this easy?只要粘上鬓角裤裆里塞袜子就行了All it takes is some stick-on sideburns and a sock in your pants.这袜子还真有看头Thats some sock.Yeah?我找琼斯太太Im looking for Mrs. Jones?是小姐Its Miss.我来应征助理Im here for the assistant job.请进Well, please, come in.莎曼珊五分钟后雇用了麦特Sama
5、ntha hired Matt five minutes later.她是办公室里的男人She may have been the man of the office,不过可以再让出一个位子but she figured she could always make room for one more.与此同时在市中心Meanwhile, downtown, 夏洛特需要一点帮助Charlotte could have used some help herself.有人很勤奋工作Someones being industrious.巴尔Oh, Baird, hi.我没听到你进来I didnt, I
6、 didnt hear you come in.我在隔壁本来想过来吓你一跳I was in the neighborhood, so I thought Id come by and scare the shit out of you. 我是来拿支票的Pick up my check for the pieces I sold.这里-谢谢-Here. -Thanks.还有一件事我想了很久Oh, theres something else. Tve been thinking about this.我想帮你摄影I would love to have you pose for me.扮成男人？A
7、s.a man?你一定会很棒的Yeah. Youd be great.我不这么认为No. I dont think so.为什么不？Why not?我不是Well, Im not, yknow.模特儿？What, a model?不男人婆No, butch.你一定会惊讶自己的夏洛特Youd be surprised, Charlotte.每个女人内心都有一个男人Every woman has a male inside of her.甚至是你Even you.不我不可能No, not me.我数理很差Im really bad at math,连换轮胎都不会and I cant change
8、a tire to save my life.让我帮你摄影Pose for me.我把那个他唤出来Ell get it out of you.男人一点Cmon, be a man.次晚西恩带我到一家The next night, Sean took me to a club so new 我还没听过的新俱乐部even I hadnt heard of it.这地方叫什么名字？Whats the name of this place?“毛”Hair.就像那出歌♥舞剧Like the musical?就像你头上的东西Like the stuff on your head.你太酷了Oh
9、, youre too cool for me.你太可爱rYoure too cute for me.吻了十秒钟之后我差点忘了Ten seconds of making out and I could almost forget他性向不明Sean*s lack of sexual orientation.直到我们停下来until we stopped kissing.所以你在看哪一个？Okay, mister, who you checking out?男生还是女生？The guy or the girl?凯莉我在找洗手间Carrie, I was looking for the bathro
10、om.抱歉Sorry, sorry!你是双性恋这件事Sorry, this whole, uh, this whole bisexual thing,一直困扰着我its just, its kinda throwing me for a loop.你跟男人女人都交往过You know, youve been with men, youVe been with women. 等下Wait, seriously.你在看那个男人吗？Were you just looking at that guy?凯莉我在看你Carrie, Tm looking at you.我跟你在一起Im with you.我
11、“煞到”你I dig you.“煞至广又变流行语了 ？Oh, dig is in again?“真水”也是Yeah, and so is groovy.”你也是And youre that, too.你不是同志？So youre not gay.不是Im not gay.我谈过三段认真的感情Ive been in three major relationships.一次是跟男人而已这就是我One happened to be a guy, okay? Thats just me.一个小时后西恩上了我的床An hour later, Sean was in my bed.这就是我Thats ju
12、st me.很棒的公 ♥寓♥Nice floor.谢谢是租的Ah, thanks. Its a rental.怎么了？ 没什么-What? -Nothing.告诉我不然我就再拖你去溜冰Tell me or Fil make you go skating again.我比男人会接吻吗？Do I kiss better than a guy?你是我见过最会接吻的Better than any Ive kissed.我呢？How bout me?前百分之二Top two percent.还可以接受Ill take that.要是有一个英俊的男子向你走来So if ther
13、e was this really good-looking guy walking towards you, 对街又有一个漂亮的女生and across the street was a really beautiful girl,你会-凯莉拜托你-which one would you. -Hey, Carrie, cmon.你能不能不要强调性别？Could you stop making this all about sex?不是是因为你Its not, yknow. Its about the person. You.我为你疯狂Im crazy about you.你的味道The wa
14、y you smell.你上唇尝起来的滋味The way your upper lip tastes.或许“性”不是一切It may not have been all about sex,但至少接下来的两个小时是but it was for the next two hours.我不是唯一一个喜欢年轻男子的人I wasnt the only one with thoughts of younger men on the brain. 听好No, you listen to me.我们已经找你上司三次了Weve called your boss three times already.我不会再
15、留言了好吗Im not leaving word again, okay?把留言告诉他Give him that message.老兄Hello? Hello?你在做什么？What are you doing?麦特这不是我谈生意的态度Matt, that is not how I do business.那个女人快把我逼疯了That bitch makes me crazy.我不关心他们都是很重要的客户I dont care. These are important clients.不要那样说话You cant talk to them like that.你想让他们回电吗？Do you wa
16、nt them to call you back, or not?提醒你我才是这里的老板Maybe I need to remind you that I am the boss here.炒我觥鱼吧So fire me.我只是帮你争取点尊重I just think you deserve some respect, thats all.把这些档案放好Put this in the Fargas Benefit file.莎曼珊发现麦特孩子气的自负很讨厌Samantha found Matts boyish arrogance annoying,很不专业unprofessional.但异常性感
17、and incredibly hot.同时米兰达搞不懂Meanwhile, Miranda was having her own problems如何跟异性分享空间sharing a confined space with the other sex.什么事？What?怎么了？Whatfs goin on?你睡到我这一边了Youre on my side.我的枕头My pillow.客人的枕头My guests pillow.好这么办吧Okay, um, Ill tell you what.明天我们去买♥♥漆Tomorrow, well go buy some pa
18、int帮你在中间画条界线and weH draw a line down the middle for you.睡觉吧Go to sleep.你那一堆衣服要收整齐That pile. Your stuff. You have to keep it neater.要是你分一个抽屉给我Well, maybe if you could spare a drawer or a box or something, 我就可以把内♥裤♥收好I could keep my underwear out of the way.你想要一个抽屉？You want a drawer?事实上A
19、ctually.我想搬进来actually, Td like to move in.几乎所有的单身女子都幻想着这一刻Most single women dream of this moment.但米兰达除外Most single women, but Miranda.你怎么会有这种念头？Okay, where did that come from?我一直都在考虑What? Ive been thinking about it.我们在一起很快乐We have a great time together.而且也几乎同居了Were practically living together anyway
20、.但是事实上并没有Yeah, but were not.听好我们才又刚开始约会Look, we just started dating again.没有必要这么仓促Theres no need to go at warp speed, here.没有人快死了我敢打赌每一本书I mean, nobodys dying and Im sure every book 都会说我们还没准备好would say that were not ready.你总是到我这里来I mean, you,re here all the time!没问题No problem.我马上滚出去Ell get outta you
21、r hair.我把钥匙留下来不-Irll leave the key. -No, no.不要留下钥匙我你带着钥匙Don*t leave the key! I. I. I. I. take the key!我只是需要自己的空间I just. I need my space.我觉得快要室息了I feel like Im being suffocated!老天米兰达Jesus, Miranda.有时候你还真像男人Its like you*re the guy sometimes.面对感情出现问题Faced with relationship problems, 有些女人猛吃油炸食品some wome
22、n turn to fried food.米兰达则是转向曼哈顿Miranda decided to turn to Manhattans 最新的健身风潮女神训练” latest fitness craze, The Goddess Workout. 女士们放开一点All right, ladies, open up your chakras, 让体内的女神歌♥唱 let the inner goddess sing.她就在里面你们只需要去释放她Shes in there. All you have to do is let her out. 这能帮助你成为女人？This is g
23、onna help you be a woman?我看我是找不到了Im gonna find my inner goddess if it kills me. 抬臀抬臀And pop your hip. Pop your hip. 像莲花一样展开自己Open yourself like a lotus flower.来抬臀Cmon, pop your hip.抬臀Pop your hip.你看我臀部抬不起来我是男人You see? My hips dont pop, Tm a guy!你疯了Youre insane.这不能帮我找到体内的女神This isn*t helping me find
24、my inner goddess. 只让我找到羞辱This is making me find my inner humiliation. 伸展背部伸手触碰星星And reach back, ladies, reach for the stars. 我们走You know what? Were out of here.我不是有女人味的女人Im never gonna be a girly girl. 我永远都不会是I never will.我永远当不成莲花Im never gonna be a lotus flower.我只想说谢天谢地And may I just say, thank God
25、?真正的女人会想要他的男友搬进来A girly girl would want her boyfriend to move in. 还会化浓妆去健身房♥Yeah, she also wears makeup to the gym.写字时候喜欢画爰心And makes little hearts above her I*s.我是真的爱他I do love him.真的我知道亲爱的-I do. -I know, sweetie.那我的问题是什么？So, whats my problem?在一段感情中总有一个人是大猎犬I think in any relationship one pe
26、rsons the alpha dog. 一个发号♥司令的人The one thats in charge.就是你Thats you.你不喜欢分享水盘You don*t want to share your water dish.但是我可以分享玩具But Im very free with the chew toys.没错That you are.米兰达稍后回到空荡荡的公♥寓♥Miranda arrived home later to an empty apartment.头一回她不喜欢这样And for the first time, she rea
27、lly didnft like it.当米兰达跟我试着唤醒心中的女神While Miranda and I worked out our inner goddesses, 巴尔则努力将夏洛特心中的男人呼唤出来Baird was working the male out of Charlotte.你看起来很棒You look great.抱歉我做不到Im sorry, I cant.我做不到I can*t do this.放轻松Just relax.自然一点忘掉夏洛特Okay, let it go. Forget Charlotte.你是个男人Youre a man now.性感的男人Youre
28、 a hot guy.女人心中的大情圣You can get any woman you want.你富有有势力Youre rich. Youre powerful.把我这样的男人当午餐吃掉You eat guys like me for lunch.你现在感觉怎么样？How you feeling now?我需要大一点的袜子I think I need a bigger sock.我也这么想I think you do too.好一点了吗？Better?好多了Much.不知道是袜子衣服还是巴尔Who knows whether it was the sock, or the suit； or
29、 Baird, 突然间夏洛特不再是有小♥弟♥弟♥的女孩 but suddenly Charlotte wasnt just a chick with a dick.她是“有种的女孩She was a chick with balls.不幸的是莎曼珊办公室的两头猎犬Unfortunately, the two alpha dogs in Samanthas office 相处得不太好were not getting along as well.这些邀请函要马上送到印刷工厂These invitations need to go to the printe
30、rs, ASAP.我等一下就去办Yeah, okay. Til get to it.现在就去在七十二街然后去拿午餐Now! Drop them at 72nd Street and then pick up lunch.这两个地方在不同方向Theyre in opposite directions.我先去拿午餐 ril get lunch first.我一向对牛仔很有“性”趣Ive always had a thing for cowboys.不要忘了这是女人Reminder. John Waynes a Jane.我的天我被她吸引了Oh, my God. Im attracted to he
31、r.或许我是“蕾丝边”Maybe Im a lesbian.我曾经跟一个喜欢穿我内♥裤♥的男人约会I once dated a guy who liked to wear my underwear,不过我仍没改变性向but Fve never gone the other way.你要是同性恋大家都可以交换内♥裤♥穿了See, when youre gay, everyone can wear everyones underwear.卫生一点That*s hygienic.女扮男装应该挺有趣的I bet being a drag king
32、 would be fun.拜托我在男人世界努力当女人Oh, please. I have enough trouble figuring out how to be a woman已经够难了in a mans world更别提假装当个男人without trying to be a woman pretending to be a man in a mans world.这样你就不用蜜蜡除毛了Well, at least you wouldnt have to wax.顺带一提要是你改变心意And by the way, if you ever change your mind,就忙着躲警&
33、hearts;察♥吧youve got “cop” written all over you.我富有了吗？So am I rich yet?快了各位这是摄影师巴尔Getting there. Everyone, this is Baird, the artist.她们是我的朋友These are my friends.你从哪里得到灵感的？What inspired you to do this?我认为每个人内心都有两种力量I feel we have dual powers within each of us.男人可以非常女性化邀请函先处理No! Invitations firs
34、t.好那我会晚一个小时回来Fine. Then Ill be an hour late.你知道你是我的助理吗？Do you realize that you are my assistant?你的工作就是听我发号♥司令Your job is to do what I say, no matter what.我知道自己在做什么I know what Im doing.我比你更清楚And I know better.-谁说的？-我-Yeah, says who? -Me.你以为你是谁?And who the hell do you think you are?你老板Your boss
35、!莎曼珊琼斯公 ♥关♥公♥司 ♥Samantha Jones, PR.我不知道她什么时候有空No, I dont know when she will.她很忙Yeah, well, shes been busy.你的态度也很差Yeah? You have a shitty attitude too.顺带一提你的派对更烂Oh, and FYI, your parties suck!坏消息是你被炒就鱼了Well, the bad news is, youre fired.好消息是 我可以跟你上♥床♥广The goo
36、d news is. now, I can fuck you.莎曼珊发现Samantha discovered the only place她和麦特只有在床上契合she and Matt worked well together was in bed.在办公桌上做Fuck me on the desk.-在椅子上-不在办公桌上-No, the chair. -No, on the desk.自然是莎曼珊在上面With Sam on top, naturally.那一晚米兰达邀史蒂夫来吃意大利面That night, Miranda invited Steve over for pasta al
37、 detente.我迟到了Hi! Im late, I know Im late.-没关系-有关系-Hey, its okay. -No, its not okay.我要做晚餐会议却拖了两个小时I was gonna make you dinner and then this conference call went over like two hours. 我到超♥市♥去采购And I went to the market, and the recipe calls却买♥♥不到食谱上的材料for extra virgin olive o
38、il, and they only had virgin.我不知道行不行我从不下厨And how the hell do I know the difference since I dont even cook?所以我索性买♥♥了一罐然后就迟到了So I just scrapped the whole thing and got the stuff in a jar, and Im late.不要动那是玻璃Dont move. Its glass.我办不到I cant!我不行I cant do this.当然我们叫披萨外送Of course you cant, we
39、ll order pizza.-没关系-有很大的关系-Ifs no big deal. -Itrs a big fucking deal!我在你面前打翻了大蒜番茄酱I spilled marinara sauce all over myself, and youre here, 我笨手笨脚and you saw that and I drop things, okay?好我也是Okay, so do I.我很爱你I do love you.不过我未曾与人同居过But Ive never lived with anybody before,我很固执喜欢掌控遥控器and Im stubborn,
40、and I like the remote,而且不会煮饭and I cant cook.有时候两个礼拜不洗衣服And I dont do laundry sometimes for like two weeks 菜瓜布会发臭你将会看到这一切and my sponges smell； and youre gonna see all that, 我很害怕and Im scared.我不知道我能不能跨出这一步And I dont know if I can move forward,不过我害怕失去你but I really dont want to lose you.我知道Hey.我哪儿都不会去Im
41、 not going anywhere.我在你肩上哭泣Crying on your shoulder.天啊我想我真的是女人Jesus, I guess I really am a woman, huh?一周后米兰达的男人搬进她家A week later, Mirandas man moved into her place.同一天夏洛特的男人也进驻她家the same day that Charlotte moved her man into her place. 她不曾再见过巴尔She never saw Baird again.她很窘困自己曾经那么主动She was too embarras
42、sed about how forward shed been.她觉得如果自己是个男人可能会那么做She realized she might have been that type of guy, 但作为女人她从来没那么干过but shed never be that type of woman.走了八十条街和爬了五层楼Eighty blocks downtown and five flights up, 西恩跟我就快到达派对现场Sean and I had almost made it to the party.我发誓再一层楼就到了I swear, one more floor, prom
43、ise.要是没有伏特加你就要人头落地If theres no vodka at the end of this, its your head.放轻松就快到了Take it easy, dude, were here.好老兄Okay, dude.这是谁的派对？Okay, so whose party is this?马克的Marks.前男友马克？Oh. Mark, ex-boyfriend Mark?有困扰吗？Is that a problem?这是他男朋友的生日Its his boyfriends birthday.我头一次碰到这种状况It was definitely a first.我参加
44、我男朋友的前男友举办的派对I was attending a party of my sort-of boyfriends ex-boyfriend.还有他的现任男友And his boyfriend.凯莉这是马克和他男友葛斯Carrie, this is Mark, and his boyfriend, Garth.伴侣很高兴见到你Partner. Nice to meet you.这是我们的宝宝伊沙贝沙子的沙没有草字头This is our baby, Isabell, two L*s, no E.生日快乐Okay, happy birthday.谢谢Oh, thank you, than
45、ks.这是唐恩和葛蕾斯This is Dawn and Grace.她们刚在夏威夷结婚They just got married in Hawaii.恭喜Oh, congratulations.谢谢Thanks. Thank you.事先毫无准备It was totally spur of the moment.我不想办盛大的婚礼Yeah, I didnt want a big wedding like my first.没有那么惨It wasnt so bad.跟你结婚是很惨Yeah, it was being married to you that sucked.你们两个Oh, so you two were.结婚一年了Married, right, ye