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1、高考复习高考复习 -书面表达评析及指导书面表达评析及指导 伴随着高中新课程改革，选课制，学分制进入了高中课程，许多学校纷纷开设了各种各样的选修课，以满足高中学生的多样化需求.据报道，某中学把股票的基本知识与多元化投资引入了高中课程。你班同学就此展开了激烈的争论。以下是两种主要观点。请结合以上材料写一篇120字左右的英语短文，介绍这两种观点，并对高中生该不该炒股发表个人看法 参考词汇 股票：stocks 分散：distract新课程：new curriculums 选修课 optional course 正方反方1 了解股票相关知识2 树立正确的投资理财观念3 为将来走向社会作准备1 学生自制力
2、差，可能沉湎于股市 2 如果分散注意力，就不能学好功课3 万一投资失误，可能造成经济损失。1.第五档第五档(很好很好):(21-25分分)-覆盖所有的内容要点覆盖所有的内容要点;-应用了较多的语法结构和词汇应用了较多的语法结构和词汇;-语法结构或词汇方面有语法结构或词汇方面有少许错误少许错误,但为尽力使用但为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致;具备较强的语言运用具备较强的语言运用能力能力;-有效地使用了语句的连结成分有效地使用了语句的连结成分,使使全文结构紧凑全文结构紧凑;完全达到了预期的写作目的完全达到了预期的写作目的.各档评分标准各档评分标准 With the r
3、eform of new curriculums in senior school,optional courses are offered to satisfy students needs.Its reported that a middle school brought in The Basic knowledge on Stocks as a new course.This raise a storm of argument.Some students go firmly for it.They point out that its necessary for students to
4、understand some knowledge about stocks,so they will establish right concept of investing and its helpful to students to adapt to the society in the future.But the negative aspects are also apparent.To begin with,some students cant control themselves well.That is to say,if they are crazy about the st
5、ocks,they may be lost in it.So,its probable that they will make some mistakes in investing for lack of experience,which will cause great economic loss to his family.From the comparison between advantages and disadvantages,I think it is necessary for us to learn some knowledge of stocks.But as a stud
6、ent,we should regard our study as the first task.Only in this way we will have a bright future.will we 内容完整内容完整;句式丰富句式丰富;用词优美简洁用词优美简洁,语言功底扎实语言功底扎实;虽存在一个虽存在一个语法错误语法错误,但本文仍旧是一篇上乘之作但本文仍旧是一篇上乘之作.2.第四档案第四档案(好好):(16-20分分)完全完成了试题规定的任务完全完成了试题规定的任务.-虽漏掉虽漏掉1,2个次重点个次重点,但但覆盖所有主要内容覆盖所有主要内容;-应用的语法结构或词汇能满足任务的要求应用的
7、语法结构或词汇能满足任务的要求;-语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确,少许错误少许错误主主 要是因为尝试较复杂的语法结构或词汇所致要是因为尝试较复杂的语法结构或词汇所致;-应用简单的语句间的连接成分应用简单的语句间的连接成分,使使全文结构紧凑全文结构紧凑 达到了预期的写作目的达到了预期的写作目的.Following the reform of the new curriculums,many schools offer many kinds of optional courses to satisfy the various needs of students.The
8、 knowledge about stocks is also offered in certain school.This raise a storm of debate among students in our class.Some students are in favor of it.Firstly,studying it gives students a chance to know some knowledge about stocks.Secondly,it helps to build up the right attitude towards investment.Thir
9、dly,students can prepare for facing the society by studying it.Just as a coin has two sides,some students are against it.Firstly,students cant control themselves well,so they may be addicted in stocks.If students distract attention,they are not be able to study well.Whats more,if they make a wrong d
10、ecide ,their economy may suffer.In my opinion,students studying stocks is a good thing.But only by controlling ourself better can we enjoy the advantages given by the course.to 优点：优点：结构完整结构完整,衔接自然衔接自然;缺点缺点:有些许语法错误有些许语法错误decision ourselves 3.第三档案第三档案(适当适当):(11-15分分)基本完成了试题规定的任务基本完成了试题规定的任务.-虽漏掉一些内容虽漏
11、掉一些内容,但但覆盖所有主要内容覆盖所有主要内容;-应用的语法结构或词汇能满足任务的要求应用的语法结构或词汇能满足任务的要求;-有一些有一些语法结构或词汇方面的语法结构或词汇方面的错误但不影响理解错误但不影响理解;-应用简单的语句间的连接成分应用简单的语句间的连接成分,使使全文结构连贯全文结构连贯;整体而言整体而言,基本达到了预期的写作目的基本达到了预期的写作目的.With the development of education,so many schools set various optional courses to meet the requires of students,such
12、 as the knowledge of stocks.It cause a widespread concern.Some people agree to it.First,they think students can know knowledge of stocks.Second,its a good way to set up a concept about charge possessions.Last,it can prepare for getting into the society.Some people against it.First,students cant cont
13、rol themselves very good,so it can students are crazy about stocks.Besides,students dont pay attention to their study,it will affect their study.Last,it may cause economic lose.In my opinion,it is not nessary for students to learn about stocks.覆盖了主要信息覆盖了主要信息;全文内容连贯全文内容连贯;但存在错误较多但存在错误较多,语法搭配有错语法搭配有错,
14、但不影响理解但不影响理解;requirements well loss necessary 4.第二档第二档(较差较差):(6-10分分)未恰当完成试题规定的任务未恰当完成试题规定的任务 -漏掉漏掉或或未描述清楚未描述清楚一些一些主要内容主要内容,写了一写写了一写无无 关的内容关的内容;-语法结构单调语法结构单调,词汇项目有限词汇项目有限;-有一些有一些语法结构或词汇方面的语法结构或词汇方面的错误错误,影响了对影响了对 写作内容的理解写作内容的理解 -较少使用语句间的连接成分较少使用语句间的连接成分,内容缺少连惯性内容缺少连惯性;信息未能传给读者信息未能传给读者.With the develo
15、pment of the new curriculums.Moreschools open optional courses,which is satisfied with students.One school lead into stocks as new curriculums.People have different oppinions about this,some are in favor of the opinion.It teached students knowledge about stocks.The course can make a preparation for
16、the future.Helping people set up managing money idea.Some people against it.They think that there is nopoint in studying.Students are crazy about stocks.Ifdistract attention,they can not study well.In fact,I think it is not good to students.本文覆盖了一些主要内容本文覆盖了一些主要内容 但是表意不清，表达错误但是表意不清，表达错误,影响意思理解影响意思理解乱
17、用标点，乱用标点，字数不足，内容缺乏连贯字数不足，内容缺乏连贯;5.第一档案第一档案(差差):(1-5分分)未完成试题规定的任务未完成试题规定的任务.-明显遗漏明显遗漏主要内容主要内容,写了一些无关内容写了一些无关内容,原因可能原因可能是是 未理解试题要求未理解试题要求;-语法结构单调语法结构单调,词汇项目有限词汇项目有限;-有有较多较多语法结构或词汇方面的语法结构或词汇方面的错误错误,影响了对写影响了对写作内容的理解作内容的理解-缺乏语句间的连接成分缺乏语句间的连接成分,内容很不连惯内容很不连惯;Resently,there have optional courses in many sch
18、ools.One school open a course of stocks.Some people think student know more about stockknowledge.I can make a preparations for looking for a way to society in the future.Except for supporting,many people against it.Some students in a poor control.They may get themselves into the stock.If they invest
19、 wrong,it can cause the loss.So we should pay attention to study not stocks.1)该文本词数不足该文本词数不足 2）错误连篇）错误连篇 3）文中充满了中国式英语文中充满了中国式英语,(如如,“There have/open”）4)人称混乱人称混乱 5）文章极度不连贯。文章极度不连贯。改连扩审书面表达书面表达四步法得分对策得分对策审题提示审题提示:1、审定体裁、审定体裁、题材：题材：2、审定人称：、审定人称：3、审定时态：、审定时态：利弊性议论文利弊性议论文第一三人称第一三人称现在时现在时4、审定结构：、审定结构：利弊性议
20、论文的结构：利弊性议论文的结构：4 段段 1.1.说明事物现状说明事物现状2.2.事物的事物的优点优点 3 3 事物的缺点事物的缺点4.4.你对你对事物事物的看法的看法5 审定要点：审定要点：正方正方反方反方1 1 了解股票相关了解股票相关知识知识2 2 树立正确的投树立正确的投资理财观念资理财观念3 3 为将来走向社为将来走向社会作准备会作准备1 1 学生自制力差，可能沉湎学生自制力差，可能沉湎于股市于股市 2 2 如果分散注意力，就不能如果分散注意力，就不能学好功课学好功课3 3 万一投资失误万一投资失误 ，可能造成，可能造成经济损失。经济损失。书面表达四步法二、扩展成句2.使用较丰富的句
21、式使用较丰富的句式1.使用较高级的词汇使用较高级的词汇3.灵活变通灵活变通1.短语、句型优先：短语、句型优先：I cannot bear it.People believes that smoking is unhealthy.I cannot put up with it.2弃旧取新弃旧取新:In our school,there are twenty-six classrooms.1 1 较高级词汇较高级词汇Our school_twentysix classrooms.consists of is made up ofIt is believed that smoking is unhe
22、althy.Some students support it.It may cause economic losses.Some students _ it.are in favor of _that it will cause economic losses.1 1 较高级词汇较高级词汇:实战演练实战演练approve of 1 有些同学赞同这个做法。有些同学赞同这个做法。(短语优先短语优先)2 这可能会造成经济损失。这可能会造成经济损失。(句型优先句型优先)It is probable/likely/possibleIt can _ students _ financing knowled
23、ge.1 1 较高级词汇较高级词汇:实战演练实战演练3它能帮助学生学习金融知识。它能帮助学生学习金融知识。(弃旧取新弃旧取新)It can help students learn financing knowledge.equipwith4 It is beneficial to the full development of students.(弃旧取新弃旧取新)It is _ the full development of students.of great benefit to 2 2 丰富的句式丰富的句式1 Students are addicted to smoking,so the
24、y cant learn effectively.(使用使用V-ed 形式形式)_,students cant learn effectively.Addicted to smoking2 Because students have financial knowledge in their minds,they can be well prepared for their future.(用用with结构结构)_,students can be well prepared for their future.With financial knowledge in their minds2 2 丰
25、富的句式丰富的句式3 Although the move is meaningful ,some people are against it .(用倒装结构用倒装结构)Meaningful though/as the move is,2 2 丰富的句式丰富的句式_,some people are against it.4.4.Students can learn something about stocks.It is very beneficial.(定语从句定语从句)Students can learn something about stocks,which is very benefi
26、cial.2 2 丰富的句式丰富的句式1)1)他决定他决定给给TomTom一点颜色瞧瞧。一点颜色瞧瞧。2)2)我俩是我俩是好哥们。好哥们。We are close friends.3)3)突然突然,他他灵机一动灵机一动.(=亲密的朋友亲密的朋友)3.灵活变通灵活变通(=教训教训Tom 一顿一顿)He decided to teach Tom a lesson.(=想到一个好主意想到一个好主意)Suddenly,he had a good idea.Suddenly,a good idea occurred to him.Suddenly,a good idea struck/hit him.2
27、)许多学校为学生许多学校为学生开设开设了选修课。了选修课。1)学习股票知识可以帮助学生将来学习股票知识可以帮助学生将来走向走向社会。社会。(=适应适应)Learning something about stocks can help students adapt to/fit into the society in the future.Many schools provide/supply students with optional courses.Many schools offer optional courses to students.3.灵活变通灵活变通:实战演练实战演练(=提供
28、提供)3 万一万一投资失误投资失误，可能造成经济损失。可能造成经济损失。(=如果如果/一旦一旦)3.灵活变通灵活变通:实战演练实战演练If/Once they make wrong decisions in investment,it will cause economic losses.(=在投资中作出错误决定在投资中作出错误决定)书面表达四步法三、连句成文Use proper linking words and phrases 使用恰当的连接词使用恰当的连接词1.表示举例时使用：表示举例时使用：for example,for instance,such as,take.for exampl
29、e,and so on,namely等。等。2 表原因表原因(由于由于)because of、thanks to、due to、owing to，on account of 3 表结果表结果（因此）因此）therefore、thus、as a result、so4 表列举表列举First(ly),second(ly),finally,to begin with,last but not least 5.表示归纳总结表示归纳总结：（总而言之）：（总而言之）in a word,in all,to sum up,in brief,in short，generally speaking，on the
30、whole,in conclusion，6.表表补充（补充（除此之外）：除此之外）：in addition,whats more,besides,moreover 7.表示转折时使用表示转折时使用（然而）然而）however,while,on the contrary,on the one hand/on the other handWhat is worse Finally First Personally Besides so However With new curriculums introduced to middle schools,many optional courses ar
31、e offered to meet students demands,such as stocks.Should students learn about stock?Our class had a heated discussion and the opinion varies.Choose the proper linking words to fill in the blanks Some students think it can benefit students a lot._，Itcan equip students with financing knowledge._,it is
32、helpful to promote students concept of financing._,Students be well prepared for their future life._,others disagree.They argue that students aretoo young to control themselves,_ it is easy for them tobecome addicted to the stock market.If they are distracted from learning,they cant pay their attent
33、ion totheir lessons._,if they buy the wrong stocks,they will suffer heavy economic losses._,I hold the view that it is unnecessary for students to learn how to buy and sell stocks.However BesidesFirstsoWhat is worseFinallyPersonallyWhat is worse Finally First Personally Besides so However 书面表达四步法四、查
34、错改错尽量剔除错误Remember:Check your composition after your finishing it.该书面表达中存在的几种不应该的错误该书面表达中存在的几种不应该的错误1)单词拼写错误单词拼写错误:stock macket-oppnion-be equiped with-contrate on-entre-teached-stock market be equipped with concentrate on opinionentertaught2)名词数的错误名词数的错误:knowledges-knowledge3)汉式英语汉式英语:Our study will
35、 fall down.4)介词搭配不当介词搭配不当:Some students cant devote themselves into study.to 5)乱用标点乱用标点:The Basic Knowledge of Stocks suffer.It will make our view become wider.broaden our mind/horizon.“The Basic Knowledge of Stocks”_ the good weather,our journey was comfortable.Thanks toMore writing exercises More
36、writing exercises 1 .We should consider the plan.2.Because the weather was good,our journey was comfortable.We should _the plan_.takeinto consideration3.We all think he is a great man.4.As a result the plan was a failure.We all _ of him.The plan _ to be a failure.think highly turned out5 They got ex
37、cited when they hear the news.（使用（使用V-ing形式）形式）.6.She walked out of the lab and many students followed her.(使用使用V-ed 形式形式)_,they got excited.She walked out of the lab,_.followed by many students Hearing the news8 The clock tower stands on the other side of the street.(用倒装结构用倒装结构)On the other side of the street stands the clock tower.7.7.I didnt go to bed until ten oclock.(强调句型强调句型)It was not until ten oclock that I went to bed.