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1、书面表达评讲书面表达评讲 假假设设你你叫叫李李华华，你你班班同同学学参参加加了了“二二十十一一世世纪纪中中学学生生英英文文报报”组组织织的的一一场场讨讨论论。讨讨论论的的主主题题是是：城城市市内内是是否否可可以以豢豢养养宠宠物物（狗狗和和猫猫）。请请你你根根据据下下表表所所提提供供的的信信息息，给给报报社投稿，介绍讨论情况，并说明自己的观点或建议。社投稿，介绍讨论情况，并说明自己的观点或建议。反对饲养宠物的同学认为：支持饲养宠物的同学认为：1.造成环境污染2.吵闹声，甚至伤人 1.安慰孤寡老人2.人与动物和谐相处，增添生活情趣 写作步骤：写作步骤：一、审题。一、审题。二、语言组织。二、语言组织
2、。三、检查修改。三、检查修改。一、审题一、审题1.审主题审主题2.审人称审人称3.审时态审时态4.审要点审要点5.审框架审框架1.审主题：审主题：城市内是否可以豢养宠物（狗和猫）城市内是否可以豢养宠物（狗和猫）2.审人称：审人称：给报社投稿，介绍讨论情况，并说明自己的观点或建议。给报社投稿，介绍讨论情况，并说明自己的观点或建议。故人称为第一人称和第三人称。故人称为第一人称和第三人称。3.审时态：审时态：一般过去现在时为主，其它时态为辅。一般过去现在时为主，其它时态为辅。二、语言组织：二、语言组织：1.选词组织要点。选词组织要点。2.扩词成句。扩词成句。3.整理成篇。整理成篇。on the wa
3、y/around the corner.The exam is coming.Nowadays,people think gratefulness is very important.be of great importance/attach great importance to 一、使用较高级的词汇一、使用较高级的词汇短语优先短语优先It occurred to that I should be grateful to life instead of complaining about it.I think that I shouldnt complain about my life bu
4、t be grateful to life弃旧取新弃旧取新I began to realized the importance of gratefulness.I came to be aware of how important gratefulness is.倒装是一种简单易行提亮句子的方法。倒装是一种简单易行提亮句子的方法。I didnt realized its importance until I was inspired.Not until I was inspired.did I realized its importance.We can build up a harmonio
5、us society only in this way.Only in this way can we build up a harmonious society.An old woman came onto the bus.Onto the bus came an old woman.陈述不如倒装妙适当使用被动语态，会呈现句型的变化，使句子表达地道丰富。适当使用被动语态，会呈现句型的变化，使句子表达地道丰富。We believe that it is parents duty to bring us up,give us love and educate us.It is believed
6、that it is parents duty to.主动不如被动巧主动不如被动巧从句在很多情况下可变成分词结构或省略句，从句在很多情况下可变成分词结构或省略句，这会是文章中更大的亮点。这会是文章中更大的亮点。When I see his bitter smile ,I suddenly realized how lucky I was.SeeingWhen it is compared with other cartoons,The Wolf and the Sheep is more interesting.C从句不如分词傲Expressionson one hand,on the oth
7、er handas a result oflast but not leastAs far as Im concernedIt is necessary for sb.to do sth.be supposed to do sth.on the contraryExpressionslive in harmony withpeople are convinced thatkeep panytake actionto make things even worse1.Opinions vary from person to person.（纪（纪湖蓉）湖蓉）2.Opinions are divid
8、ed on this matter.3.Different people have different opinions.4.Whats more,it is likely that pets will attack people.（陈蔚）（陈蔚）5.Only in this way can we achieve the balance between pets and people in cities.（袁旻旻）（袁旻旻）6.The reasons are as follows,for one thingfor another（侯倩倩）（侯倩倩）7.We are supposed to ta
9、ke control of our pets,in case they attack others.(吴晓晗）吴晓晗）8.What I will choose is definitely the former.(蒋演）蒋演）9.People live in harmony with pets,which makes life more colorful.(宗媛媛）宗媛媛）逻辑角度逻辑角度合适的过渡性词汇合适的过渡性词汇时间顺序 first,second,then,finally/at last,soon,immediately,suddenly空间顺序here,there,on one sid
10、eon the other side,in front of,at the back of,next to 对称顺序for one thing,for the other thing,on one hand,on the other hand转折顺序but,however,while,though,otherwise因果顺序because,since,as,thanks to,as a result(of)，owing to,due to条件顺序as long as,so long as,on condition that,if,unless让步顺序though,as,even if/thou
11、gh,whether,who (what,when,where)ever递进顺序whats more,besides,to make the matter worse,whats worse表示总结in a word,altogether,all in all,in general,to sum up,in conclusion三、检查修改：三、检查修改：、检查单词拼写、标点符号等。、检查单词拼写、标点符号等。、检查要点是否遗漏。、检查要点是否遗漏。、检查句子结构是否正确。、检查句子结构是否正确。、估计字数是否符合要求。、估计字数是否符合要求。One possible version Rece
12、ntly we have had a discussion on whether people should keep pets at home in cities.Some students think it a good idea to keep pets because many old people who live alone at home can get some comfort from pets.Besides,getting along well with animals will make our life interesting.On the contrary,the
13、other students are against the idea.In their opinion,if too many people keep pets at home,it is bad for the environment.Whats worse,pets may make too much noise and even attack people.I like animals,so I dont think its bad to keep pets at home.But we must take some measures to prevent them from poll
14、uting our environment.Yours sincerely,Li HuaWhat should you do if you want to write a good composition?第一步 认真审题(analyze the requirements）第二步 谋篇布局(draw up an outline)第三步 联句成篇(organize the sentences)第四步 锦上添花(get the article polished up)第五步 查漏补缺(check the mistakes)抄阅读文章中的句子;不知所云.得分为0分语言素质欠缺语言素质欠缺;基本功差基本功差;语句毛病多语句毛病多;大大小写小写;标点符号标点符号;书写不清等等书写不清等等;得得5分分.卷卷面面不不整整洁洁;涂涂改改较较多多;语语言言错错误误多多;层层次次不不清清;得得8 8分分语言不地道语言不地道;中文式思维中文式思维;词汇错误词汇错误;卷卷面有涂改面有涂改;得得17 17分分.有少许语言错误有少许语言错误;得得21 21分分