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1、621 The One Where Ross Meets Elizabeths DadScene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.Rachel: Okay, Chandler!Chandler: Okay.Rachel: And your horoscope says, On the fifth a special someone is going to give you a gift.Chandler: (To Monica
2、) Oh, well thank you in advance. (Kisses her.)Rachel: Op, but the twelfth brings a lovers spat.Monica: (To Chandler) You are going to make a joke about my special present! Why would you do that?!Rachel: Oh, wait and on the nineteenth a secret crush announces itself.(Phoebe winks and licks her lips w
3、hile eyeing Chandler.)Joey: (entering) Hey guys!Chandler: Hey!Rachel: (ecstatic) Oh my God! Its Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!(Everyone claps and cheers, Joey mimics looking about with a gun.)Chandler: Oh thats right. Its your first day! So are you psyched to fight fake crime with your robo
4、t sidekick?Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except
5、 to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!Monica: I think our lovers spat will start a little early this month.Phoebe: (in a sexy voice to Chandler) Ill be waiting.Opening CreditsScene: Central Perk, time lapse. Phoebe is now looking at the covers of two different b
6、ooks.Chandler: Are you judging them by their covers? Because youre really not supposed to do that.Phoebe: No, Im just deciding which one to useIm gonna start writing another book!Rachel: Be-because the last one was such a big seller?Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am
7、 the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received. Ross: (entering) Hey!Chandler: Hey!Rachel: Hey!Ross: What are you guys doing later?Phoebe: Oh, Rachel and I have appointments to get our hair cut.Rachel: (To Phoebe) We do?Phoebe: I want to see what he wants
8、first.Rachel: Okay.Ross: (continuing) I just found out that Elizabeths dad wants to meet me.Chandler: Wait a minute, hold the phone! Youre not Elizabeths dad?!Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.All: Of co
9、urse well help! Yeah! Well be here!Ross: Thanks!Monica: We know how tough those parent/teacher conferences can be.Scene: Pier 59 Studios, its the set of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. The producer is showing Joey around the set.The Producer: (walking into Macs office) So uh, heres your office set!Joey: Wow! H
10、uh? (Picks up the phone) Mac Macaveli, Private Investigator!The Producer: (checking his watch) Lets get you into wardrobe for a fitting.Joey: Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot?The Producer: Im sorry, why dont we do that right now? Hes right here. (Points to a guy.)Joey: Okay.The Producer
11、: Joey Tribbiani, this isJoey: Oh wow! Hes so lifelike! (Starts touching the guys cheeks) Unbelievable! (He starts tugging on the guys ears.The Producer: This is Wayne, the man who created and operates C.H.E.E.S.E.Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)The Producer
12、: Ill let you two guys get acquainted, huh? (Walks away.)Joey: Okay. Sorry about that(Mimics that cheek thing he just did.) Uh, so wheres C.H.E.E.S.E.?Wayne: C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here. (He puts on his headset, picks up the controller, and wheels C.H.E.E.S.E. in. C.H.E.E.S.E. is just a plain old rob
13、ot on tracks; he kinda looks like No. 5 in the movie Short Circuit.)C.H.E.E.S.E.: (Wayne with a computerized voice) Nice to meet you Mac!Joey: (laughs) This is like the temporary robot, right?Wayne: No. Why?Joey: Well, I-I just, I just it was going to be like a really cool robot, yknow? Like the ter
14、minator or uh, when I first saw you.Wayne: I spent two years developing this machine, its absolutely state of the art.Joey: Im sorry, it justI dont know it doesnt really look like it can do anything.Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)Sce
15、ne: Central Perk, Ross is at the counter drinking coffee as Elizabeth enters with her dad, Paul. Elizabeth goes to kiss Ross, but he just kisses her on the forehead. By the way Paul is played by Bruce Willis. Yes, that Bruce Willis from Moonlighting, Die Hard, and Armageddon.Elizabeth: This is my fa
16、ther, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.Ross: It-its great to meet you Paul.Paul: I usually prefer Elizabeths boyfriends to address me as Mr. Stevens.Ross: Of course, of course, Mr. Stevens.Paul: So Ross, what your problem?Ross: Eh-whExcuse me?Paul: Why cant you get a girlfriend your own age?Ro
17、ss: Thats funny. Umm. (Pause, then serious) Its not funny.Paul: I dont like you going out with my daughter Ross.Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.Paul: Okay.Ross: What?Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind
18、. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)Elizabeth: Daddy!Paul: Fine! Two minutes. Go.Ross: This isyou(Ross starts laughing.)Paul: (laughs then checking his watch) 1 minute 50 seconds.Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this befor
19、e. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a b
20、ar. One of them is Irish.Paul: Im Irish.Ross: And the Irish guy wins the joke!(Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe enter.)Monica: Ross!Chandler: Ross!Monica: How crazy that wed run into you!Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friend
21、s uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.Phoebe: Youre Elizabeths father, huh? I can see now where she gets her rugged handsomeness.Monica: (obviously attracted to him) Is-is-is there a-a Mrs. Stevens?Chandler: Theres a Mr. Bing!Paul: No, unfortunately Lizzies mom passed away shortly after she was
22、 born. I raised her by myself.Phoebe and Monica: (sympathetic) Ohh!Paul: I get that a lot.Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and
23、you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)Monica: Yknow, it is so strange seeing Ross here this time of day, cause usuall
24、y hes got the childrens hospital.Phoebe: Yeah. Not looking for dates. (Monica turns in horror.)Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.Monica: And hes a great brother!Paul: I had a sister.Monica: Ohh!Paul: She passed away.Monica and Phoebe: (sympathetic) Ohh!Paul: Oh, you dont have to do that every
25、 time.Chandler: But uh Ross, Ross is a great guy! I was roommates with him in college. Uh, funny story (He starts laughing then notices that Paul isnt happy.) Youre roommate in college died didnt he?Paul: A part of him did yes.Ross: (returning with the coffee) Okay here we are Paul, Elizabeth. (He s
26、ets down their cups.) So I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.Chandler: Yes, we were just(Rachel runs in.)Rachel: Hi, Im sorry Im late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Lizs father get here?Paul: Im already here.Rachel: Oh! Ross is sooo great!Scene: Monica, Chandler, an
27、d Phoebes, Phoebe is working on her book at the kitchen table, Monica is on the couch, and Chandler is entering from the bathroom carrying a package of toilet paper.Chandler: Hey honey, you got the kind with the little girl, you said we were gonna to get the kind with the baby.Monica: No, you said t
28、he baby creeps you out.Chandler: No, the little girl creeps me out.Monica: You said the baby.Chandler: Why would the baby creep me out?Monica: Why would the little girl creep you out?Phoebe: (writing frantically) You guys, Im sorry, could you please talk a little slower? Chandler: This is going in y
29、our book?Phoebe: Yeah, its about relationships. Yknow? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great!Monica: What?! Excuse me!Phoebe: And how none of it matters when the people really love each other. (Chandler and Monica kiss.) And how people will believe anything you tel
30、l them as long as its a compliment.Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there alone as Paul enters.Rachel: (seeing him) Oh hi!Paul: Hi! Hi. (Hes looking around.) I think I left my keys here somewhere.Rachel: Oh! Well lets look for them. (Finds some under one of the couch cushions. It has a pink, fuzzy bal
31、l on the key chain.) Oh-oh-hey! Are these them?Paul: No.Rachel: All right! (Throws them back under the cushion.)Paul: Oh, here they are right here. (Picks them up from underneath the corner of the couch.)Rachel: Oh good.Paul: Thanks for your help. (Starts to leave.)Rachel: (chasing after him) Oh, wa
32、it! Sorry, Mr. Paul? Mr. Paul?Paul: Just call me Paul.Rachel: Paul. Umm, I just wanted you to know that Ross really is a great guy.Paul: Well maybe you can date him then that would save me the trouble of killing him. (Rachel laughs then starts looking at him.) Are you okay?Rachel: You just dont look
33、 old enough to have a twenty-year-old daughter.Paul: Well, we were very young when we had her.Rachel: Oh. We?Paul: Well yeah, it usually, it takes two people to (He taps his index fingers together.)Rachel: Oh no! Yes! Of course, I know that! I justI meant yknow are you still a We or are you just You
34、?Paul: Im just me, my wife died shortly after Lizzie was born.Rachel: (sympathetic) Ohh. So you raised her all on your own?Paul: Yes I did.Rachel: Ohh. (She touches his arm for support and likes what she feels) Ooh!Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebes, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler a
35、nd Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.Joey: Hey!Chandler: Hey!Phoebe: Hey!Monica: How was your first day?Joey: Pretty great! Except I did get a little attitude from the robot.Chandler: Damn those robots, theyre supposed to be our faithful servants!Joey: Anyway, it wasnt the robot, it was the g
36、uy who controls him. Yeah, he doesnt like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh!Phoebe: Well, why dont you just get him fired?Joey: I may have to, I hate to do it, but Im the star! Yknow? Theres a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor.
37、(His cell phone rings) Excuse me. (Answers it, on phone) Joey Tribbiani. Estelle: (on the other end) Joe! Im glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya!Joey: Wow!Estelle: The thing is its kinda on the Q.T. The actor who has the part doesnt know he might be fired. Its the lead in a series, Mac and C.H
38、.E.E.S.E.Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!Estelle: Uh-oh!Scene: Joey and Rachels, Ross is entering looking for Joey, but instead he finds Paul and Rachel making out on the couch.Ross: Joey?!Paul: Hi Ross.Rachel: I was just getting him to like you.Commercial BreakScene: Joey and Rachels, sce
39、ne is continued from earlier.Ross: Joey?! Joey! (He runs into his bedroom.)Rachel: Ross, Joey is not here.Ross: Okay, Ill just wait for him in here!Rachel: Ross, its okay. You can come out.Paul: Yeah Ross its okay, its me, Mr. Stevens.Ross: (coming out of the bedroom) Oh! Oh my God! I didnt even see
40、 you!Paul: Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, Joey! Joey! Bye Rach. (Kisses her.)Rachel: Bye!Paul: Ill call you later. Bye Ross. (Leaves)Ross: What-what-what thehow da-how did-what the-how did-what?!Rachel: Well, yknow he lost his keys so
41、 he was looking for themRoss: (incredulous) In your mouth?!Rachel: No! Downstairs! And we got to talking yknow, for like two hours, and I really liked him so I invited him up here for a cup of coffee.Ross: You were at the coffeehouse!Rachel: Ross, whats the big deal? So I kissed the guy!Ross: He is
42、my girlfriends father, okay? Its-its, its weird!Rachel: WhYou dated my sister!Ross: That was different!Rachel: What? Why?!Ross: This is weird for me!Rachel: Ross look, look this is good for you. Okay? Lets face it, so far the guy s not lovin ya! But I can turn that around! I got the inside track! We
43、 can all go out to dinner, yknow? And I can talk you up! Ross, the guy is a very, very successful lawyer!Ross: How is that important?Rachel: Oh its important!Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebes, Joey is telling everyone about his impending termination at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.Joey: Apparently, theres
44、 like a million guys out there that can play Mac, and theres only this one robot and this one guy who controls it! I didnt know he could get me fired! What am I going to do?Monica: Well yknow Joey, youre a pretty charming guy.Joey: Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here.Monica: No swee
45、tie, youve got to win over the guy that controls C.H.E.E.S.E.! Youve got to kiss some serious robot ass!Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, act
46、ually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)Chandler: So do you think uh, Joeys more charming than me?Monica: Yeah! Thats why Im sleeping with him on the side.Chandler: Yeah, you wish. (Stops to think about it and gets depressed.)Phoebe: (writing in her book) You wish.Monica: Phoebe, stop
47、 writing about us!Phoebe: Im not writing about you! Im writing about other people.Chandler: Who?Phoebe: Marcia and Chester.Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!Chandler: Hmm.Monica: (writing on a piece of paper) Phyllis is sitting in a chair.Chandler: Oh.Phoebe: I see what youre doing!Monica: (still writing) Phyllis sees what Im doing.Chandler: Oh-oh.Phoebe: Ooh, I have tasted my own medicine and it is bitter!Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is walking up to C.H.E.E.S.E. and Wayne.Joey: Morning! Hey, hows my favorite geniu