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1、2021年年3月广州一模读后续写月广州一模读后续写 巧克力的故事巧克力的故事第二节 读后续写（满分25分）355 words 阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。It took place in a teachers family.One day,Ben was playing basketball in the living room after school,when he accidentally threw the ball at a vase sitting on the shelf.The vase dropped to the floor and a la
2、rge piece broke off.What made Ben more upset was that the vase was not a common decoration but an antique,which was handed down through generations from the 18th century.It was also his mothers favourite possession.To cover his terrible action,the terrified boy glued the pieces together hastily and
3、put the vase back to its place.As the mother herself dusted the vase every day,she naturally noticed the cracks(裂纹)that evening.To her surprise,the repair work was actually very good.At dinner time,she asked her boy if he broke the vase.Fearing punishment,the suddenly inspired boy said that a neighb
4、ors cat jumped in from the window and he couldnt drive it away no matter how hard he tried.It raced around the living room and finally knocked the vase off its shelf.His mother was quite clear that her son was lying,for all the windows were closed before she left for work each morning and opened aft
5、er she returned.However,in the face of her sons nervous eyes and the suspicious looks of the other family members.Bens mother remained calm.She realized she shouldnt just simply blame and punish her son for lying.She came up with another idea.Before going to bed,the boy found a note from his mother
6、in his room,asking him to go to the study at once.The boy thought he would now be punished but,as he had already lied,he was determined to deny everything to the end,no matter how angry his mum became.In the study,calmly bathed in the light,his mothers face showed no sign of anger.On seeing her son
7、push open the door and cautiously enter,she took a chocolate box out of a drawer and gave him one.Read for charactersRead for conflictsRead for plotRead for emotional changesRead for theme123455 Rs for Continuation WritingRead for CharactersRead1BenMothercalmly bathed in the light,his mothers face s
8、howed no sign of anger.naughtyBen was playing basketball in the living room after school,when he accidentally threw the ball at a vase sitting on the shelf.as he had already lied,he was determined to deny everything to the end,no matter how angry his mum became.the suddenly inspired boy said that a
9、neighbors cat jumped in from the window and he couldnt drive it away no matter how hard he tried.quick-mindedrebelliousBens mother remained calm.She realized she shouldnt just simply blame and punish her son for lying.She came up with another idea.calm;intelligent;patientA teacherIt took place in a
10、teachers family.Ben wouldnt admit his fault easily.Bens mother would lead him to admit his fault instead of forcing him.ReadRead for Conflict.However,in the face of her sons nervous eyes and the suspicious looks of the other family members.Bens mother remained calm.She realized she shouldnt just sim
11、ply blame and punish her son for lying.She came up with another idea.Before going to bed,the boy found a note from his mother in his room,asking him to go to the study at once.The boy thought he would now be punished but,as he had already lied,he was determined to deny everything to the end,no matte
12、r how angry his mum became.In the study,calmly bathed in the light,his mothers face showed no sign of anger.On seeing her son push open the door and cautiously enter,she took a chocolate box out of a drawer and gave him one.Ben was determined not to tell the truth while his mother wanted to make him
13、 admit.The conflict was solved by a box of chocolate.2Read for PlotReadkey sentence:She realized she shouldnt just simply blame and punish her son for lying.she took a chocolate box out of a drawer and gave him one (p1)Ben broke the valuable vase by accident and glued it.the beginningMain developmen
14、tResolutionthe ending(p2)Ben lied but his mom could tell his lie.Climax(p3-p4)Mom asked Ben to go to the study and Ben was determined to deny everything to the end.(p5)Bens mom had a talk with him with a box of chocolates.(p6)Bens bad attitude disappeared.3This chocolate is a reward for.With some ch
15、ocolates in hand.Another chocolate is for.One more chocolate for.Paragraph1:The mother said,This chocolate is a reward for your imagination:a window-opening cat!”Paragraph2:Now with some chocolates in hand,the boys bad attitude disappeared.ReadRead for Emotional ChangesBens Emotional Changesscaredsc
16、arednervousnervousBAD attitudesBAD attitudesembarrassedembarrassedashamed ashamed 4ReadRead for Themeorhonesty or family education?5what is the mom trying to teach his son?What is the author trying to tell the reader?Identify the theme of the story It took place in a teachers family.One day,Ben was
17、playing basketball.It was also his mothers favourite possession.To cover his terrible action,the terrified boy.As the mother herself.Fearing punishment,the suddenly inspired boy said.His mother was quite clear.Bens mother remained calm.She realized she shouldnt just simply blame and punish her son f
18、or lying.She came up with another idea.The boy thought he would now be punished but,as he had already lied,he was determined to deny everything to the end,no matter how angry his mum became.Now with some chocolates in hand,the boys bad attitude disappeared.Theme-What is the author trying to say to t
19、he reader?Theme-What is the author trying to say to the reader?Paragraph1:The mother said,This chocolate is a reward for your imagination:a window-opening cat!”Q1:Another chocolate is for.Q2:One more chocolate for?Q3:What were Bens feelings and reactions to the mothers words?Paragraph2:Now with some
20、 chocolates in hand,the boys bad attitude disappeared.Q1:What did Ben do or say?Q2:What did mother do or say?Q3：How to echo the theme?PredictionClue1:To her surprise,the repair work was actually very good.Clue2:The boys bad attitude disappeared.设置问题驱动 The mother said,This chocolate is a reward for y
21、our imagination:a window-opening cat!”Astonished as he was at her reward instead of harsh scold,Ben reluctantly received it,not daring to fix his eyes on his mothers.Then,the mother squeezed another chocolate in his hand as a praise for his topping ability to skillfully restore the broken vase.Glanc
22、ing at the chocolates with hesitation,the boy timidly raised his head before his mother.Obviously,the tension on his face faded a little bit.“Now,”the mother picked out a third chocolate and softly continued,“the last chocolate.I am so sorry,my little sweetheart.I shouldnt have laid a fragile vase a
23、t an inappropriate place,especially when there is a boy so absorbed in sports.”Now with some chocolates in hand,the boys bad attitude disappeared.“But,Mum,I”,attempting to make something clear,Ben awkwardly uttered nothing but some words.His mother silenced him by gently putting her finger on his li
24、ps，gave a soft kiss on his forehead and walked out of the study.Back into his room,Ben placed the three chocolates where he could see them easily.That night,Ben slept the soundest sleep.From then on,the three chocolates rang the alarm in his heart every time he intended to lie,reminding him to be ho
25、nest.Sometimes,no punishment could also make a big difference to a childs growth.There is no doubt that the wise teacher and mother mixed warm romantic humor into her careful and severe education.利用文章线索有效衔接首尾呼应，揭示文章主题基于文章主题创写故事情节生动细节描写体现母亲春风化雨的独特教育方式 Appreciation续写点评：续写点评：优点：优点：1.1.人物设定、人物设定、文章整体文章整
26、体情节较合理、冲突解决。情节较合理、冲突解决。2.2.语言生动语言生动。3.3.书写工整。书写工整。不足之处：不足之处：1.1.情感变化缺乏层次感情感变化缺乏层次感2.2.第二颗巧克力的奖励第二颗巧克力的奖励原因与情节发展不符。原因与情节发展不符。3.3.未未能点题能点题照应文章首照应文章首句进行合理的主题升华句进行合理的主题升华Assessment续写点评：续写点评：优点：优点：1.1.人物设定人物设定合理。合理。2 2.冲突得到解决。冲突得到解决。3.3.情感变化有层次感情感变化有层次感4.4.有效点题升华文章主题不足之处：不足之处：1.1.续写第一段情节与主线不续写第一段情节与主线不符。没有体现巧克力的作用。符。没有体现巧克力的作用。2.2.对话过多。对话过多。3.3.卷面不够整洁。卷面不够整洁。THANKS!