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1、A comparative study on family A comparative study on family education in American and education in American and ChinaChina10级土木系房产班徐妹彬 刘燕 唐玲姝 From ancient times to modern times,family education has been playing an important role in the national educational cause。Nowadays,increasing attention has bee
2、n paid to family education by the modern society,and it gets a hot spot of society,which is closely related to tens of thousands of families vital benefits and urgent need.lThe Chinese parents lay emphasis on social enlightenment,ignore the growth of childrenlThe western parents provide the children
3、 a environment for growth resistant to them,and foster their tenacious individuality andthe good conduct,and they choose their idea and way of cultivationaccording to thechange of society and the characteristic of children physical and mental.The tendency of education is different.the value of famil
4、y education is different.The Chinese traditional Confucian culture emphasize“the cultivation of ones moral character,the running of ones family,the administration of a state,the peace and security of the world”.The Chinese parents care about the reputation in educating the child,thinking educating t
5、he child to become a useful person is their achievement,but if not,the parents feel shameful.The educations goal is for earning their living,for honor.Education in American is not the preparation for earning their living,but for survival.“The learned education”they emphasize has the value of molding
6、 ones mind,one kind of value which has nothing to do with the utility or the occupation consideration.the difference in proportion between family and the individual.The Chinas traditional culture takes the family as the focus,pays great attention to individual responsibility and duty.The Chinese gua
7、rdians think the value of education is studying for entering a higher school,they only ask the child to study attentively,without bothering about other things.The western culture takes individual as a focus paying great attention to individual freedom and right.The western parents pay great attentio
8、n to raising childrens independent consciousness since childhood.In the Western family,you may see the child addresses his visit relatives and friend by name,bolds expresses his own opinion,participates in family discussion as adults do.He solves some problems all by himself.Education method is diff
9、erentThe Chinese traditional The Chinese traditional education method is a type of education method is a type of education in,which people education in,which people repeat what the book says and repeat what the book says and imbue the child with it.It imbue the child with it.It emphasizes mechanical
10、 emphasizes mechanical memorizing.That is to say,the memorizing.That is to say,the child receives the study.child receives the study.The west emphasizes the The west emphasizes the childs“power of childs“power of understanding”.They like understanding”.They like letting the child practise by letting
11、 the child practise by himself,going to the nature,himself,going to the nature,seeking the knowledge from seeking the knowledge from liflife.Conclusion All in all,there are many differences between China and Western family education and each has its strong points and weak points.We should reject the
12、 dross and absorb the cream of them,advance the family educational modernization instantaneously.education in universityWhen the child goes to college,the parents comparison is more intense.“Which university does your child attend?”If the child studies in Qinghua,Beijing University,or other famous u
13、niversities,the parents will take a pride in their child;if the child has not been matriculated in a famous university,the parents will feel sad and ashamed of facing relatives.Above all,we can know Chinese parents put their faces in the first place.And in the western countries,these things never ha
14、ppen.An American friend,who is only graduated from a specialized middle school,works in a small store.In my opinion,he is almost below the lifes“the safety line”,and has little to be proud of.But his parents appreciate actually him much more.Why?Because he takes part in the piano performance in the
15、community frequently,and obtains the reward many times.The main difference is that the college chosen by the Chinese children is usually famous one,and the Western children choose the college according to their own likes,instead of taking“famous or top college”as the decision factor.Family education
16、 in American 美国的家庭教育一一.培养独立能力培养独立能力 二参与家事决策二参与家事决策 三三.在和谐气氛中了解孩子在和谐气氛中了解孩子 四四.多诱导、鼓励，不强制多诱导、鼓励，不强制 孩子从婴儿襁褓时期就跟妈妈分床睡觉，两三岁的幼儿就住自己的房间了。父母只管孩子的安全，其他生活上的事，游玩、学习都由孩子自理、自主、自我选择。比如，从小就有自己存放衣服、玩具和学习用品的地方，自己收拾房间，整理，布置属于孩子自己的“小天地”，父母决不替孩子做什么事，最多从旁提醒、参谋。一一.培养培养独独立立能能力力二参与家事决策二参与家事决策美国孩子在家里的确是小主人，不但参与家庭的各种活动，还参与
17、家庭大事的决策。比如购买什么样的汽车、家电、电脑，怎样布置房间，怎样利用和美化庭院等，父母都倾听孩子的意见。许多孩子都跟父母一起干些力所能及的家务活儿，如收拾院子、种植花草树木、擦洗汽车、自行车、做室内外卫生、购买东西等。邻居家10岁的孩子，每周几次去洗衣店送取衣物，这是他固定的“岗位”。还有一家女孩子房间总是凌乱，妈妈就跟孩子订了个“协议”：每到周末各自彻底打扫自已的房间，晚饭前完成；平时每天临睡前要把各种物品整理好，养成随拿随放、注重环境整洁的好习惯。妈妈也就按“协议”不再唠叨不休。三.在和谐气氛中了解孩子许多家庭都有吃饭时及饭后随便聊天的习惯，饭桌上的气氛和谐、幽默、民主，谁也不许打断谁
18、的话，谁都能把心里话倒个一干二净。还有许多细心的妈妈总在孩子睡觉前去跟孩子谈谈“今天过得怎么样？什么事使你最开心？今天你向老师提了哪些问题？”父母跟孩子说话很客气、和蔼，极少见到疾言厉色的训斥、打骂，父母总是对孩子说“谢谢”“对不起”“请原谅”等等，用商量的口吻对话。四四.多诱导、鼓励，不强制多诱导、鼓励，不强制 四.多诱导、鼓励，不强制 对于孩子的游玩和兴趣活动，家长从不强制孩子去做什么，而是尊重孩子自己的意愿，让孩子独立地支配自己的课余时间。选择学练什么乐器和其它兴趣技能，家长总是给予支持、鼓励和指导，或帮助请家庭辅导教师，或支持孩子去上个什么技能培训班。美国家长大都对孩子的学习不施加压力
19、。他们的观点是：喜欢学的孩子自然会努力学，为什么要强制他去做不愿意做的事情呢？强拗着去做，会伤害孩子的感情与个性。人的兴趣、爱好和才能本来就各不相同，孩子适合做什么就做什么，人生的路让孩子自己去走。成功的家庭教育，应是家长舍得拿出时间跟孩子以平等的态度进行对话、交流，对孩子正确的想法和行为给予充分肯定，让孩子在尊重和鼓励中成长。美国家庭教育给人印象最深的一点是：从小就尊重孩子，重视给孩子个人自主权，让孩子学会在社会允许的条件下自己做决定，独立地解决自己所遇到的各种问题。The comparasion between China and American中国的家庭教育很像“定向培养”，目的性很强
20、；美国的家庭教育很像“自由成长”，随机性很强。在这一点上，中国的长处也就是其短处，量体裁衣的“定向培养”会使个性丧失，内动力减退，创造力衰弱，从而使社会缺少活动。中国家长更注重结果，美国家长更注重过程；中国家长比较理想主义，美国家长更现实主义些。在美国家庭中，父母一般都很爱孩子，很尊重孩子，但从幼儿开始就大胆放手让他们养成独立自主的生活能力。如：对不到周岁的孩子，就开始让他们自己抓饭吃（因不会用餐具，就用手抓），即使吃得满脸、满身，也要让他们自己吃。所以美国孩子一般到周岁时，已能自己吃得很像样了。孩子在蹒跚学步时，免不了要摔跤的。当孩子跌倒时，他们的父母亲不扶孩子而往往只是说一两句鼓励的话，然
21、后等待孩子自己站起来。对睡觉，西方的孩子习惯从婴儿开始就自己睡，即使嚎淘大哭，引来了父母，得到的也只是一些安哄和宽慰，父母依然离去。对比之下，我们中国的父母却不太敢放手，上小班了，不少孩子还不会吃饭，一定要老师喂，才能吃；不肯睡觉，要老师在背上拍哄，才能睡可见，在家里也是什么都是父母代劳。成人多做些什么本来并不是很麻烦的事，可关键是这样对孩子究竟是爱还是害呢？中国父母非常懂得“在教育孩子的同时，也是在教育日己并检查自己的人格”，父母要把自己的好品质灌输到孩子身上，就必须严格地遵守自己的内心信仰。强大的行为力量在孩子的道德观念形成期起着“润物细无声”的效力。在美国家庭道德教育中，宗教发挥着不可低估的作用。去做礼拜，在餐桌前祈祷，成了一种生活方式，难以把它和被认为是这个民主国家中家庭的特殊责任的道德教育分开”。在现代社会，父母依然希望共同的上帝始终在内心深处把孤立的人类统一在一起。美国父母让孩子拥有选择的自由。美国的父母不会代替孩子选择，而是坚持“Standbehind，dontpush”（站在后面，不要推），给予孩子绝对的自由去选择他们的道路。使孩子真正变成社会人是美国家庭教育的最终目标，正是这个目标，使孩子过早地拥有了家庭中的许多权利。