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1、读后续写写作练习指导A Challenging option阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。Kareem sighed as he counted his money again. He was still short of fifty dollars to buy the latest Speedster X bike. In order to save his pocket money to replace his old bike, he had been packing sandwiches to school the last three m
2、onths.“How can I get that fifty dollars?” he thought to himself. His mind was wondering when Mothers voice disturbed his thoughts. Kareem, I just ran into Aunty Kim, our neighbour who just moved in next door. Her son, Shawn, will cycle to school next week. Could you show him the shortcut to school l
3、ater? Its Saturday anyway!” Hearing this, Kareem had no option but to obey it, He knew Mother had probably already volunteered his service to Aunty Kim. “Oh, heres a mail from your Grandma. Open it!” added Mother.Kareems grandmother lived abroad and she would send him photos and cards. He opened the
4、 envelope and pulled out a greeting card. Incredibly, a fifty dollar note slipped out as well! Kareem was wild with joy. Waving the note in the air, he shouted happily, Enough money for my b汰e!”At 2 p. m. Kareem met Shawn as arranged by their mothers. The sooner he finished this task, the sooner he
5、could go to the bike shop. While the boys were cycling, a squirrel （松鼠）appeared behind a parked car and dashed across the road so suddenly that the boys knocked into each other and fell down heavily. Kareem said regretfully, 1 forgot to warn you about the squirrel population here/5 As Kareem was lif
6、ting up his broken bike, Shawn cried anxiously, Oh, my poor bike! Its completely broken.”Watching Shawn carrying the disabled bike home in silence, Kareem hurried to the bike shop for his dream bike. The sign Half Price fbr Old Models in the shop attracted his eyes.注意：1 .续写词数应为150左右；2 .请按如下格式在答题卡的相应
7、位置作答。“A Speedster X bike or two old models?” Kareem hesitated.“Hi!” Kareem appeared at Shawns door cheerfully and asked, Want to ride together?”学生范文wem力耳a 七；小匕A eAstOx Y b；M Or mvO old mode,，(arvA Kf；tzxtfed.七3刃。抓w X b；S研出vJ：J癌KaA 6皿嬴1However,处iAe.钝妙t耳 加即】trd 酎a，a m6cwy。叶 外生脚 泡 而忸 (W山号叩 M h“ KaoC H。
8、pasd toJc (Xnd 长心 in -tAc 4 g 屹llE C 丫此 h &。bncjc. Awr 由八匕八5, he然气dechig *to 儿, Uio old 2叔s . k was kSy Z b,J broIdL, Rjt 3以(OWt a oUR与中 叶 就闿Xa4卜认切弑0 vetAxm kpme,讪i 叩凶院J6七SU oloor dz叫灰如眄 U “佃：岫爪 Kdo制以er ? de w” rvjtJ. & * S（?at（的吠久上入（cVOOM七卮M也叫仁酎辰oMF, ；s酒曲吼舞以，蓝:破Ki ,必.(刘 aralvodo. -tklr 以( k丽Lu 八 J门
9、。纸出2gt建城M叼。亚山3 g.休e 4 wmjMul小脑做“ 心喈唳J browA 5VAM blcxY【批改与反馈】这是学生的一篇读后续写，写得真是非常漂亮! ! !一、从情节发展来看，小伙子的推理完全合乎逻辑和事情发展的进程（说明小伙子 的阅读，读出了精髓、读出了写作意图）：故事讲了一位名叫Kareem的男孩，心里非 常渴望拥有一辆超酷时尚的星号为Speedster X自行车，为此他自带三明治三个多月以 节省伙食，目前还差50美元。凑巧的是，他在外地的奶奶给他来信，信里夹带着50 美元做礼物，他的美梦就要成真的。一天，妈妈告诉他隔壁新搬来的邻居有一个与他 年龄相仿的小男孩叫Shawn,
10、希望Kareem能够骑自行车给他引个去学校的最便捷的 路。在去学校的路上，由于突然窜出的小松鼠，两个男生的自行车发生了碰撞，Shawn 的自行车报废。Shawn伤心地扛破自行车回家，Kareem则去了自行车店去买他心心念 念的新款。到了自行车店，发现门口有一张告示牌写着：老款自行车展示款半价。第一段：提示词是个问句：是买一辆新款自行车还是两辆老款自行车？第二段：提示词是：Kareen快乐地出现在Shawn门口说：“嗨，想一起骑自行车 吗？”由此可知，小伙子梳理的故事脉络非常有说服力:PARA 1: Kareem纠结于两个选择，非常迷惘-脑海中浮现出Shawn伤心的表情 卜定决定买两辆老款-心理
11、如释重负。PARA 2: Kareem邀请Shawn去骑自行车-Shawn看见新自行车又惊又喜-两个 男孩开心地一起去骑自行车了。二、从语言、句式来看，小伙子遣词造句得心应手。1、在词汇上：课堂上教过的很多好词，比如one，s eyes be glued tightly to. , at the thought of. . , pace back and forth, let out a deep sigh of relief, be rooted to the spot, tears of excitement blur ones eyes, a broad smile bloom on o
12、nes face,好词信手拈来，显示出强大的词汇表达能力。2、在句型上：意鑫在短短的两段中，灵活运用了 which引导的定语从句、so that/when引导的状语从句、It bethat的强调句（小伙子，that不能忘记啊）、WithOC 等等。3、在修辞上，意鑫运用了 simile （明喻）act like a rat in the hot brick,非常生动形 象地描写出Kareem在买哪种自行车这个决定上的犹豫不决和拿捏不定。【修改的几个小细节】1-However, at the thought of Shawns broken bike, a mixture of guilt an
13、d shame welling up in his mind.（句子缺少谓语，应该把 welling 改成 welled.）2、3It was his mistake that led to Shawns bike broke.（强调句缺少 that,补 上。另外，lead to+名词短语，因此改为：led to Shawns bike breaking down）4一句首第一个字母大写，切记切记！5-tears of excitement blurred his eyes, he thanked once again and again.（句首大写，另外两个独立的句子，不可以单纯用逗号点开，
14、第一个句子的 blurred改成独立主格结构的blurring）。此句可以再做提升:Tears of excitement blurring his eye, Shawn could hardly help conveying his appreciation to Kareem again and again.6-disappeared in the side of the road.（改成 disappeared in the distance） 小伙子，总而言之，以下两点希望你要引起重视：1、谓语动词和非谓语动词你一定要搞清楚，尤其是像1、5两个句子这样的错误，非常容易失分。2、两个或两
15、个以上独立的句子之间，不可以单纯用逗号点开。你看一下5之前的逗号，5本身的逗号，都是一 “逗”到底的，这要不得啊修改后的范文A Speedster X bike or two old models? Kareem hesitated. His eyes were glued tightly to thespeedster X bike which he had been dreaming of for a long time However, the thought ofdid he paceShawns broken bike, a mixture of guilt and shame we
16、lled up in his mind.po anxiously back and forth that he acted like a rat in the hot brick.pXfter thinking twice, he made a decision to buy two old models. |t was his mistake that led to Shawns bike breaking down； Now he could finally let out a sigh of relief and hurried home.“Hi Kareem appeared at S
17、hawns door cheerfully and asked, Want to ride together?” Apparently Shawn was so stunned that he got rooted to the spot and unable to utter a single word when he saw a new bike outside. rThis is your bike. Kareem said and pulled the bike to him.Tears of excitement blurring his eye, Shawn could hardl
18、y help conveying his appreciation to Kareem again and again.，代s noting, my friend! I broke your bike by accident first. Kareemreplied ,ith a broad smile disappeared in the distance.bloomed on his face J Both of them rode their bike happily and【参考作文】参考作文和学生的续写,各有各的特色、各有各的精妙。“4 Speedster X bike or two
19、 old models?” Kareem hesitated. He thought tohimself, Whatever happened was not my fault. Im buying Speedster X anyway.” However, as the image of Shawn and his disabled bike flashed before him repeatedly, he felt a shiver running down his body. An inner voice insisted that he should reach out a help
20、ing hand. Just at that moment, his initial guilt gave way to a sense of responsibility. After a quick mental calculation, he decided to buy two old models.Hi! Kareem appeared at Shawns door cheerfully and asked, Want to ride together?,7 Shawn got annoyed at the silly question. He moved his lips as i
21、f to say something but before he could say anything, Kareem took a stride to the side, revealing two shiny identical bikes magically. zzWhat. How come? No, it couldnt be.”, Shawn beamed with excitement, tears clouding his eyes. Mother, who had witnessed the scene from the window, walked up to Kareem and patted his shoulder gently and playfully, Son!Km really proud of you.