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1、天啊Holy shit!你怎么能这么镇定-我很慌张How are you not freaking out? -1 am.只是表现得没你那么明显手♥机♥还我I just freak out in a quieter way than you do. Give me my phone.怎么回事What hell is going on?贝拉别跟我说又是皮特戴维森穿棉裤的照片Bela, this better not be about another pic of Pete Davidson in sweatpants. 不敢相信我会这么说但是比那更棒I cant be
2、lieve Im saying this, but its actually better than that.你看尼可给金柏丽照片的留言Look at what Nico commented on Kimberlys pic.洋装很可爱加上大眼睛表情符号♥That dress tho. Eye-bugging emoji.天啊他想上你Oh, damn! He wants to 俨*k you.跟我说的一样吧-才没这回事Thats what I said. - No, I dont think thats true.蕾登知道了吗不知道Wait, has Leighton seen
3、 this? - No,她说得很清楚她没追踪我的社群媒体shes made it very clear she does not follow me on social media.我也没有拜托别告诉她Me too. - Same. And please dont tell her.连我碰到她的毛衣她都会生气了更别说是她的哥哥She gets mad at me when I touch her sweaters, let alone her brother.你要回他吗So are you gonna reply to him?我想回俏皮一点的话I thought Id write back
4、something cute.像是你的留言也是Like, I could say, That comment tho.不行这很糟糕Stop. No. Thats bad.我来教你传张养眼的照片给他Heres what you do. Send him a picture, something tasteful像是用中指把上衣领子拉下来like pulling the top of your shirt way down with your middle finger.贝拉太过头了现在才早上八点And that was it?也许我应该待在家写经济学作业Maybe I should just s
5、tay in and do my Econ.我得准时在午夜缴交否那么就会得零分I have to upload it by midnight sharp or I get a zero.或者去参加派对让他当面跟你调情看看会不会有结果Or you should go tonight let him flirt like this in person, and see if something happens. 我同意乔丝琳的说法I agree with Jocelyn.而且我是一个社会智力极高的人And I say that as someone with extremely high soci
6、al intelligence.我要去参加我没受邀的起司派对了All right, Fm gonna go crash a cheese party I wasnt invited to.把握老二Seize the dick Seize the dick? - Hey! - Seize the dick jSeize the dick Seize the dick. JSeize the dick Seize the dick. J贝拉你怎么会来Bela, what are you doing here?当然是来参加起司派对你真爱说笑Im here for the cheese thing.
7、You goof.伍兹教练你找我吗Hey, Coach Woods； you wanted to see me?请坐Take a seat.道顿过来-道顿Dalton, let*s go! - Dalton?这是怎么回事Okay, what is happening?你妈要求开会Your mom has asked for a meeting.谢谢你把两场比赛的禁赛处分变成国♥家♥安♥全♥事件So thanks for making a two-game suspension a national security issue.什么教练我
8、保证没要她这么做What? Coach, I swear I didnt ask her to do this. I mean,我只是,I only.你们好-妈你搞什么Hello. - Mom, what the hell?我联络你的教练因为我需要她解释Im reaching out to your coach because I would like for her to explain 为什么我女儿会难过地打给我why my daughter called me, all upset说她因为对抗性别歧视遭到禁赛to tell me she had been benched for stan
9、ding up against discrimination. 我们很乐意解释但是我们必须遵守规那么And we welcome that opportunity. But we do have rules.参议员我保证我们都很爱你的女儿Senator, I assure you, we love your daughter.我们都很爰她Like, all of us do. We all do.伍兹教练也是甚至比我更爰Coach Woods included even more so than I.天啊Oh, my God.抱歉你是哪位Im sorry, who are you?助理教练道顿
10、Dalton, assistant coach.伍兹教练可以移♥动♥荧幕让他不要出现在画面里吗 Coach Woods, can you turn the screen slightly to frame him out?好我想你很清楚Oh, yeah. - Now, as you probably can expect自己的女儿受到不公待遇我不会视而不见I cannot sit back and allow my daughter to be mistreated.我不是要找院长更换教练一Im not saying I wanna go to the dean a
11、bout a leadership change. 妈够了Mom, stop it!却斯参议员我很乐意改变先前的决定Senator Chase, I am willing to overturn my previous decision.但希望你能理解我为何严正看待此事But. I hope you understand why I took this so seriously.你女儿拍摄男生的裸体而且未征得同意Your daughter filmed naked boys without their permission.等等你说什么Wait, Tm. Tm sorry, what?她很幸运
12、十七岁的守门员留在蒸气室Well, shes lucky the 17-year-old goalie stayed in the sauna否那么依法来说她就是拍摄儿童色情影片since that would legally be the creation of child pornography.可以把我转向我女儿吗Could you angle me towards my daughter?当然可以Oh, yeah, you bet.你拍未成年人的裸体Nudes of a minor?老天惠妮我们可不姓甘乃迪Jesus, Whitney, were not the Kennedys.妈我
13、很抱歉我只是想要伸张正义Mom, Im sorry, I just wanted to make things right.这件事我们晚点再谈You and I will talk about this later.好Yeah.谢谢你特地拨冗歌♥楚Thanks again, Gertrude. Appreciate your time.我好爱你的衬衫Girl, I love that blouse.你们在聊什么他的发型有多帅吗Hey, what are you guys talking about over here? How cool this guys hair is?我们在
14、讨论法兰岑-法兰岑烂透了We were discussing Franzen. - Franzen sucks.我爸妈以前在冰箱冰了一盒白金粉黛My parents used to keep this box of white Zinfandel in their fridge.有次我把整盒喝掉吐在我家的猫砂盆里One time, I drank it all and barfed in my cats litter box.你是说法兰家吗那种盒装红酒Do you mean Franzia? The boxed wine?不是我当然是开玩笑的No, no, I was obviously jo
15、king, guys.我要去找某人带来的起司盘But hey, Im gonna get that. cheese platter somebody brought然后吃掉上面的东西and eat something off of it.你觉得在场谁最讨人厌So which person here do you find the most insufferable?我觉得是那个九度提到自己在叙利亚留学的女生Im going with the girl whos mentioned studying abroad in Syria, like, nine times. 对了我觉得你上次写的文章很
16、棒Oh, by the way, I thought that last piece you wrote was great.主题是你的移♥民♥老爸老是把别人认成珍妮佛嘉纳The one about all the people your immigrant dad keeps confusing with Jennifer Garner? 谢谢很高兴你喜欢Cool, thank you so much. Im glad you liked it.那是真人真事I can say it comes from a real place.我的移♥民&hear
17、ts;老爸把很多人误认为珍妮佛嘉纳My immigrant dad confuses a lot of people with Jennifer Garner.我做了一些笔记你有兴趣看看吗Well, I wrote some notes on it, if youre interested.天啊太棒了Oh, my God. That would be great.我们丢了所有的墨西哥帽和服跟爆♥炸♥头假发We tossed all the sombreros, kimonos, and fake afros.我们想丢掉所有会冒犯人的东西We tried to get
18、 rid of any and all triggers.看起来很不错Yeah, yeah, I mean, it looks good.应该没东西会冒犯女性中心的人I cant imagine the Womens Center crew being offended by any of this.蕾登我们可以进来吗Leighton, hi. May we enter?大家人呢派对不是八点开始吗Where is everybody? Does the party not begin at 8.00?现在才八点五分你们也太早到了Ifs 8.05, thats an insane time to
19、 arrive for an 8.00 party.需要帮你挂外套吗Can I take your coat?我穿在身上就好谢谢你I will keep it on and buttoned, thank you.你觉得自在就好Great, yeah, whatever makes you comfortable.我做了面包给你I made you a bread.这真是,好重喔Oh, thats. wow, its so heavy.好我带你们参观一下吧Cool. Please. Let me show you around.尼可你家是工匠风真漂亮Nico, what a lovely Cr
20、aftsman home you have.今晚会一团糟对吧So tonight is gonna be a shitshow, isnt it?没错Oh, yeah.你想喝酒吗-我还没进门就开喝了Do you want a drink? - Oh, I already started in the driveway.可以我们继续喝吧Okay. - But yeah let*s continue drinking. Please.金吉那是随身摄影机吗Ginger, is that a bodycam?不是,这是一般的胸针What? No, no. This is a normal broach
21、.我觉得修改这些地方会更好Yeah, I think if you make a few of these cuts, itrll be great.你可以把这些加入最后缴交的作品You should totally include this in your final writing submission.真的吗真是太感谢你了Really? Cool, thank you so much.我们出去吧在我们出去之前我想给你看一个有趣的影片Should we go back out there? - Hey, before we go, I wanna show you this funny v
22、ideo I saw.好啊我也可以给你看一个Sure. After yours, I have one too.内容是一个女人拿着奶昔跌倒Its a lady who falls with a milkshake.西塔匹克的精神是竞赛和盛会Theta-lympics are a celebration of competition and pageantry.准确来说是喝酒的竞赛与盛会Specifically, drinking competition and drinking pageantry.了解但我们做了所有的防范措施Okay. - But note that we take ever
23、y possible precaution.我们请了有执照的酒保Drinks are poured by licensed bartenders.还有两位不喝酒的弟兄负责处理各种问题And two brothers have been designated as sober problem-solvers.放轻松You can calm down. Look,我知道你觉得我是可怕的女同志抗♥议♥人士想让你们垮台I know that you think Im some, like, big, scary lesbian protester coming to get
24、 you.我不知道你是女同志I did not know that you are a lesbian.如果这么推定就太失礼了It would be rude if Id assumed that.尼可过头了Nico, less.我只是来找乐子的Hey, so, Fm just here to have a good time.我要做酒桶倒立你愿意扶我的腿吗Now, would you please hold my feet for a keg stand?那你等一下也要帮我扶Only if you hold mine afterwards.男女平等真是够了Equality. - Oh, my
25、 God.很好需要多一点冰块Okay, cool. Needs more ice.我去看看金吉有没有拿到无数质啤酒Actually, I am gonna go make sure that Ginger has her gluten-free beer.我去看看她Check on her.我来是为了自己不是为了他But really, Im here for me. Not for him.我不在乎看不看得到他很好I don*t even care if I see him. - Okay, good.今晚是属于我自己的Yeah, tonight*s a me night.但如果见到他我该提
26、到他删留言的事吗But in the event that I do see him should I mention him deleting the Instagram comment?你们玩得开心吗Hi, whats going on over here?其实我不在意我只是想躲某个人Actually, I dont care. Im just trying to avoid someone, so.真伤人好吧Damn, okay.她来了嘿Hey, there she is. - Hey.红酒起司晚宴怎么样还行How was the wine and cheese thing? - It
27、was fine.就这样一对啊怎么了吗That*s it? - Yeah, what? Whats wrong?你怪怪的一对你跟平常不一样Youre acting weird. - Yeah, your vibes are way off.发生了一件怪事Yeah. Something sort of weird actually did happen.有个卡特兰的编辑给我修改文章的建议One of The Catullan editors was giving me notes on a piece然后突然开始播放色情片and then he put on a porn.他干吗做这种事-你当时
28、在跟他亲热吗What? Why did he do that? - Were you hooking up with him?没有话讲一半他就开始播放No, we were just talking, and then he put it on.这感觉是变♥态♥的行为他感觉不像变♥态♥So like a predator does. - No； not like a predator.他很友善说要给我看有趣影片It was friendly. He said he just wanted to show me a funny video.
29、有趣影片是色情片And the funny video was porn?贝拉我觉得不太对劲-那部色情片有趣吗Bela, I dont like this. - Was the porn even funny, though?这就是重点我不知道哪里有趣Thats the thing, I couldnt figure out一定是我忽略了什么what the funny part was, but I must have missed something.没事啦It*s fine.你记得片名吗Well, do you remember what it was called?也许他觉得他们没脱袜
30、子很好笑Maybe he thought it was funny that they kept their socks on?应该不是吧No, I don*t think so.还是因为他的蛋蛋和老二有色差Is it funny that his balls are a different color than his penis?你们看的时候他在笑吗Was he laughing while you were watching?没有他只是盯着影片看然后大声呼吸No, he was just staring at it and, like, breathed heavy.放完之前我们都没有眼
31、神接触We didnrt even make eye contact until it ended.我确定了那个人是个怪胎Yeah, hey, final decision. This guy is weird as 廿*k.我同意你应该避开他Yeah, I agree. You should avoid him.如果艾瑞克这么做我还能理解Okay, if this was Eric, that would be one thing但他是莱恩他人很好but this is Ryan. Hes the nice one.嘿Hey!今晚不能看色情片我们要拿出最好的表现No watching por
32、n tonight! We are on our best behavior.我们可以的Okay, all right, this is gonna be okay.但你要使出吃奶的力气刷地But listen, Tm gonna need you to sweep - like youve never swept before. 我可是刷地之王Yo, I am the king of sweeping.上吧-来罗快刷Hit it. - Go. Okay, go!快刷刷Go, sweep! Sweep!什么-帅啦What! - F*k yes! Yes.看来尼可找到了新的芭比娃娃Looks l
33、ike Nicos got himself a new Barbie doll.她吗你的芭比娃娃都长什么样子Her? Girl, what the hell did your Barbie dolls look like?做得好尼可Great job, Nico! - Hey!嘿谢了兄弟Hey! - Thanks, man.他刚才叫你兄弟吗Did he just call you man?也许他是说女士 -那也没有比拟好Maybe he said maam.1 - Thats not better.嘿嘿谢谢好啊Hey! - Hey! Thank you!我晚点再去找你不错听起来不错All ri
34、ght, Im gonna get you later. - All right, sounds good.搞什么我才刚What the hell, I just.当然了是你放轻松Of course its you. - Oh, take it easy.你想怎样拍更多我的老二照当私人收藏吗What are you gonna do? Grab some more pics of my dick for your personal collection?那不是我的用意好吧Thats not what I was doing. - Okay. 你觉得这公平吗男足战绩不好却享有各种资源Look,
35、do you think its fair that a mens soccer team with a losing record gets tons of swag 战绩较好的女足队却什么都没有while a womens team with a winning record gets nothing?我觉得我们享有资源是因为大家会看我们比赛Okay, I think that we get shit because people actually come to our games.观众喜欢男子运动因为我们天生是好运发动And people prefer mens sports beca
36、use were better natural athletes.我们比拟壮跑得更快肌肉更多Were stronger, were faster, and we have bigger muscles.这个回答会太直白吗Was that too real of an answer for you?你觉得你跑得比我快You really think youre faster than me?对Yeah.证明啊Prove it.为什么垃圾桶里有那么多墨西哥帽Why are there so many sombreros in that dumpster?应该是他们听说我们要来I think whe
37、n they heard we were coming就放弃了比拟有争议的元素they ditched some of the more problematic elements of this party我所谓的争议是严重的种族歧视and by problematic, I do mean deeply, deeply racist.“我们什么We1? - Huh?你刚说他们听说我们要来You just said, When they heard we were coming.你是我们的一员了吗What, are. are you one of us now?女性中心的一员吗Oh, a Wo
38、mens Center person?你疯了吗我宁愿去参加即兴表演Are you insane? I would sooner do improv.天啊我们有那么糟糕吗Oh, God! Werre that bad?也是我说得太过火了Yeah, youfre right. I crossed the line.爽啦Oh. Oh, yeah.老兄可以别在我们旁边尿吗Dude, can you please not take a piss right next to us?我是来喝酒的不想看到你的老二I mean, I came here to drink, not see the side of
39、 your dick.随便啦王八蛋Whatever. - Asshole.不喜欢就滚男人婆If you dont like it, leave, you dyke.你叫我什么What the f*k did you just call me?滚开F*k off.接招王八蛋Take that, mother/*ker.你正在被男人婆痛扁Yes, this dyke is kicking your 俨*king ass!艾丽西亚住手放开我Alicia, stop! - Get off of me.怎么回事你站在哪一边What the hell? - Whos side are you on, an
40、yway?你看到了吗Did you see that?艾丽西亚等等Wait, Alicia. Wait up.艾丽西亚别走做什么Alicia. Alicia, stop. - Why?我对抗那个混帐所以你要教训我吗So that you can get mad at me for defending myself against that 俨*king dick? 不是我不想看到你受伤No, I just didnt wanna see you get hurt.他可能会杀了你我知道你觉得自己很凶悍Okay, that guy could have killed you. I know you
41、 think yourre tough, 但你才五尺高我有五点二尺高but you are f*king five feet tall. -1 am 52”！发生这种事我很抱歉Okay, I am so, so sorry that that happened.带你来这里我很抱歉Okay, and Im so sorry that I brought you here.我发誓我没看他们做过这种事I. I swear to God Ive never seen these guys do anything like that before.Bela, too much. 8.00am.天啊他把留
42、言删掉了Oh, my God. He just deleted it.你说什么,Wait, what? - What the f*k?他把留言删掉了这是坏事吗He deleted the comment. - It*s gone. Is this bad?也许他事后发现那件洋装不好看Like, maybe he decided he doesnt like that dress tho?感觉情况不妙等等I mean, it doesnt seem good. - Hold up.尼可删除留言是件好事Nico deleting the comment is a good thing.这代表他不只
43、喜欢你的照片It means that not only was he into your picture, wink, wink 还在意到回来把留言删掉but he thought about it enough to actually come back to it again later. 他已经迷上你了He*s basically obsessed with you.贝拉说得可能有点道理Wow! Bela may actually have a point.我看算了吧不You know what? - No.我不要为了男人的关注把自己逼疯I will not drive myself
44、crazy waiting on some mans attention.我拒绝过度思考这件事I refuse to overthink this.怎么样是面包店的折价券Well? - It*s a coupon for Panera.大学女生的性生活第一季第5集我知道这些衣服要送给需要的人I know were collecting these clothes for people who need them 但他们还需要受这种折磨吗but, really, havent they been through enough?这些衣服是要让他们不必乞讨But these clothes are
45、to help get people off the streets而不是让他们穿去汀恩德鲁卡吃早午餐not into Dean & DeLuca for brunch.你以为汀恩德鲁卡是早午餐餐厅Oh, my God. Do you think that*s a brunch place?那当然了Yeah, of course you havent.因为他们对待你我的方式不一样Because they dont treat you like they treat me.我只是他们上不到的女同志Im just this queer girl that they cant 俨*k.但你是个漂亮的
46、金发直女值得他们的尊重But you, youre this pretty, blonde, straight girl who they actually think is worthy of respect. 不是这样的当然是That. thats not true. - Yes, it is.不是No.我的意思是No. no, I mean. I mean.你对我的形容是错的What. what you said about me, youre wrong.我说错了什么What part am I wrong about?看来我真的错得离谱Whoa. I was, like, reall
47、y wrong about you.闭嘴Shut up.干杯快跑开始罗准备好Lets go, lets go. All right, all right.先跑完一英里的人将证明自己的性别更优越First one to a mile permanently proves which gender is superior.三二一开始Three, two, one, go!打败他defeat him.轻松得很你输定了Its easy. - Youre losing.随便你说没错I got you. - Okay.对啊好Yeah, okay.金柏丽等一下Hey, Kimberly, wait up.哩.哩J、 J、Hey. - Hey.我觉得过意不去我邀请了你却忙到没空陪你I feel terrible. Like, I invited you, I got busy, and I barely saw you.其实我没注意到Oh, I didnt even notice.我身边太多朋友了I was just h