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1、-搞笑英文话剧剧本ThreeTimesBeatingMonster 人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空E：猪八戒J：沙僧 B：白骨精B1：B变成的村姑B2：B变成的太婆 B3：B变化成的老头N：哪吒 T:Emitofo,doyouknowwherewearenow? S:Bajie,map! E:(摸出，递给S) S:Look,master(凑近T)（T、S一齐转向E） T:Bajie!HowManytimesIhavetoldyou,noftobringthesepicturesofbeautifulgirlswithyou! E:Oh,master!Forgiveme(伸手拿回) T:(缩手)Illk
2、eepitforyouuntilwereachthewest E:But T:Emitofo,nothingislust,lustisnothing!Map? E:(递)Here.EmwehavearrivedinWhiteTigerMountain!AhIcantwalkonanymore!(坐)MystomachdoesntallowSo. S:FatPig! E:Monkey,ifyoudaretosaythesetwowordsonceagain,Iwill,Iwill. S:Youwillwhat(凶相)? E:(软禁)Iwillhelpyoucatchfleas(跳蚤). S:Hm
3、! T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,IamabithungryCouldyougotogetmesomefood? E:Yousee,masterishungry,too! T:Baijie!Dontforgetwhoatemylastmeal! J:Butmaster,ifamonstercomeswhilebrothermonkegisaway. T:Em.Itisaproblem.Wukong,doyouhaveanyidea? S:Noproblem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看） E:Thisis.? S:Electricnet!Ihavelearnttheenergyo
4、felectricityfrommastersbooks.SoImadethis.Nomonstercanapproachyouifyoustayinit! T:EmWukong,youarebecomingmoreandmorescientific!Emitofo,knowledgeispower! S:Bye!(走) T:Letsplaycards!(三人开始打牌)音乐斗地主 B:Hm!Hm!Electricnet?Youaretoochildish.(变成B1) B1:(接近三人，望着)CanIjoinyou? T:Imsorry,lady.WeareplayingFightingAga
5、instLandlordandthreepeopleareenough. B1:(在一旁观看)Oh,Chance!Bomb! T:Bomb?(打出) B1:DoubleKing! T:Oh.Iwin!Em,Lady,youareamaster-hand.Comeinandteachme!(准备开电网门) S:(回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打) B1:（倒)Ah T:(气愤)Wukong!Lookwhathavedone!Sheismyteacher! S:Sheisamonster! T:Nonsense!(深呼吸) S:Oh,pleasedont T:Itstoolate!
6、(唱)Oncemoreyouopenthedoor(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱) S:Please,Please,oh,no(痛苦抱头) T:(呛住，咳)Wukong,Imdisappointedwithyou! B:(真身出现)Hm!SunWukong,Illteachyoualesson!(变成太婆) B2:Hello,haveyouseenmydaughter? T:Daughter?.(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡) S:（咬牙切齿）Youmonster,Illbeatyouintohell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S
7、再打死B2) E&J:AreyouOk,master?(扶T) J:Look,(伸食指)howmany? T:Two.(晕乎乎地)SunWukong,gameover!(变成B3) B3:(看到B1,B2尸体)Oh.,mydaughter,mywife!Whodidit?!(哭喊) S:Illkillyou,monster!(打) T:（想阻止，未及）You,you.(险些晕，E,J扶住)Youhavekilledthreelives! S:No,theyarenothumanbeings!Theyarecreatedbymonster! T:Monster?Youarearealmonste
8、r!Neverletmeseeyou,go! S:(悲，离去)（音乐，营造“假”悲伤气氛）人鬼情未了 E:Master,brotherMonkeyis. T:Scratch!Dontmentionthatguyanymore! B:(出现)Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走) T:（惊）Youare. B:Howfoolishyouare,MrTang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退) B:(抓住T)Illenjoyyourmeatandblood,ha,ha. S:(悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)Athousandyearslater. T:Wukong? E:Oh,Broth
9、erMonkey! J:Ourheroisback! T:I,Icantunderstand.Whathappened? S:Master,yourIQneedsincreasing!Thismonsterchangeditsappearanceintothreeshapesinordertocheatyou! T:How,howdidyoufindout? S:(沉默).Monkeysintuition(直觉) N:Excuseme,whereisthecniminal? S;Ah.youaretoolate,Nezha!(对T)Ivecalledthepolice. N:(摇醒B)Youa
10、reunderarrest.(出示证件)YouhavetherighttoremainsilentIfyougiveuptheright,anythingyouwill saycanandwillbeagainstyouinacourtoflaw!(带走B) T:Wukong(S不理T)Iadmitmymistakethistime(S仍不理)Imsorry(小声) S:What? T:Imsorry. S:Em?Louder,please? T:I.am.sorry.(S捂耳)（音乐响）敢问路在何方（这个放伴奏） T:Letsgoguys!(歌) S:Youarecarryingthelug
11、gage,Iamleadingthehorse. E:Saygoodbyetothesun,Welcomeeveningglow. J:Sleepingontheground,againwesetoutsetout,againwesetout. T.S.E.J:Ah.Ah.Sleepingonthegroundagainwesetout. T:Oneaftertheothertheseasonsgoby,andoheaftertheother,theyeargoon.Youwonderwheretheroadis.Theroadisunderyourfeet. T.S.E.J:Youuonde
12、rwheretheroadis,theroadisunderyourfeet.英语话剧剧本The BusA Story about Love and Stinky Feet5-6人英语剧本，公交车上的故事，适合大学生活，关于爱和臭脚的故事。Female student A:,Female student B,Female student C,Boy A: Wang Chiang-ruiBoy B,Old woman,Scene One(Three female students are chatting on a bus. Because all the seats are taken, th
13、ey are standing, holding onto some plastic rings hanging down from the bus roof. Two boys are sleeping in their seats. Then the bus arrives at a stop and an old woman gets on. She looks at the seats. Seeing no empty seats, she stands next to a female student and holds onto a plastic ring.)Old woman:
14、 Therere no empty seats. I guess Ill have to stand.(The female students find the old woman not having a seat. They want to help her find one to sit in.)Female student A: We should find a seat for her.Female student B: Right. Those two bad boys did not give their seats to her.(The two boys continue t
15、o sleep.)Female student C: We should find a seat for her.Female students A & B: Yes.(Female student A goes to Boy A and taps on his shoulder.)Female Student A: Excuse me, could you give your seat to that old lady?(Boy A stretches and continues to sleep. Female students A and B look at each other. Fe
16、male student B taps on Boy As shoulder.)Female Student B: Hey! Can you give your seat to that old lady?Boy A: (wakes up) I lined up for twenty hours yesterday to buy A-Meis new album. Im very tired. Im sorry I cant give my seat to the old lady. (continues to sleep)Female student C: What should we do
17、?Female student B: Lets ask the other boy.Boy B: (gets up suddenly) Ah!All: (startled)Ah!Female student B: What happened?Female student C: Why did you scream?Boy B: I had a nightmare. It was terrible.Female student B: Excuse me, can you give your seat to that old lady?(Boy B falls asleep.)Female stu
18、dent A: Hello! Is it OK for you to make room for that old lady?Boy B: Let me sleep, please. I read an English novel all night last night and didnt get any sleep. Can you let me sleep for a while?Female student A: Well, weve tried.Female student B: The young man is really brash.Old woman: Thank you,
19、young ladies! Im OK! Dont think Im an old woman. I am healthy. (makes a few kicks like a young man)Female student C: Maybe we worry too much. The old ladys very healthy.(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly and the old woman falls over. It makes Boy A wake up.)Boy A: Oh! Are you OK?Old woman: Oh!
20、Oh! My waist!Boy A: You can take my seat. (helps the old woman to the seat)Female student C: Hmm. He just got his conscience.Female student A: Yeah! I was just about to say they got no manners.Female student B: Yeah. I thought he was a cold-blooded animal.Boy A: Hey! Watch your own manners. Ive give
21、n her my seat. Im really very tired.(At this time Boy B is embarrassed. He dares not continue to sleep.)Old woman: Thank you, young man. Im old and useless.Boy B: Dont say that. If Id given you my seat earlier, the accident wouldnt have happened.(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A f
22、alls down.)Scene Two(The Old woman and Boy B sit in the seats. Boy A is standing behind the three girls and drowsing. The three girls continue to chat. Boy A is drowsing carelessly and bumps into Female student As body.)Female student A: Oh! Who touched me? (turns her head around and seesBoy A stand
23、ing behind her) Its you, right?Boy A: What?Female student B: Why? You did it intentionally, didnt you?Boy A: Wait. I didnt do anything.Female student C: You touched her intentionally, right?Boy A: Hey, Im not that kind of person. (looks at Boy B) Hey Is it you?Boy B: (confused and shakes his head) N
24、ot me. I was sleeping.(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A bumps into Female student A again.)Female student A: (angry) Still saying it wasnt you? You pig!Boy A: I didnt mean it.Old woman: Nowadays boys are not the same as those in the past. Boys in the past were all very polite. Now
25、 boys are reckless.Female student C: Now what do you have to say? Apologize to her. Hurry!Boy A: Alright! Alright! (to female student A) Im sorry.(Female student A ignores him and continues to chat with the other two girls.)Boy A: Its not my day today.Boy B: Gentlemen dont fight with women. And shes
26、 no nice woman.Old woman: Nowadays girls dont have good temper. Time really changed.Boy B: Older people know more than us.Old woman: When I was a young student, I got love letters from many men every day. For the sake of manners, I went out with different men every day.(Boys A and B dont know what t
27、o say. Suddenly the bus driver hits the brake. The old woman bumps into Female student Cs hips.)Female student C: (surprised) You.(The old woman looks at Female student C and says nothing.)Old woman: You have nice hips.Female student B: I cant believe the old woman is capable of sexual harassment.Fe
28、male student C: Maybe nowadays old people are not the same as those in the past.Female student A: Maybe after losing her husband, she feels lonely.Female student B: Ah! Here we are. Lets get off.Female student C: Wed better stay away from those strange people.(Female students get off the bus.)Boy B:
29、 Who are those strange people? Theyre real strange. (helps the old womanup) Are you O.K.? Those young girls have no sympathy.Old woman: (feels Boy Bs hand) You also have a pair of very fine hands.Boy B: (startled) What?Boy A: This old woman is also very strange.Boy B: Lets go!Old woman: Dont be shy, young man. I have held such kind of hand for a long time.(Boy B frees himself from the old womans hand and gets off.)Old woman: (looks at Boy A) Youre nice, too.Boy A: Hmm, good-bye. (gets off).-第 6 页-