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1、The Differences in Social Communication between Western Countries and ChinaI.IntroductionWith the carrying out of Reform and Opening Up Policy and the globalization of economy, an increasing number of Chinese swarm into western countries. No matter what their real purposes are, it is their hope that
2、 they can get along well with those foreigners. However, large amounts of Chinese have no idea about what they can exert themselves to. I read a sentence If you are at Rome, live after the Roman fashion; if you are elsewhere, live as they do there.” on the website Baidu. It is believed that, to some
3、 extent, this sentence provides us a proper answer. In other words, the first thing you need to do before your going to western countries is to learn how westerners behave and what you should pay attention to in those countries. Therefore, some differences in social communication between western cou
4、ntries and China will be shown in this paper.II.DifferencesThe dissimilarities in social communication between western countries and China mainly exist in such aspects as addressing, greeting, praising, visiting, parting, and giving a present. And all aspects of these differences will be expounded r
5、espectively in the following paragraphs.2.1Differences in addressingIt takes no effort to find an extremely surprising phenomenon that children should address their elders directly using their name. For example, one may address adults including the father, mother, or even the grandparents by their g
6、iven names. In the eyes of Chinese, there is no doubt that this kind of appellation should be fervently condemned as a result of its violation of the so-called filial duty, which has been dominant in the minds of Chinese for thousands of years (Huang Yanli, 2005:3) by assertion: “Another difference
7、is about the form of addressing. In China, people are inclined to address their superior or elders using title + surname in order to show their respects for them. On the contrary, westerners, no matter what their social statuses are, have a tendency to follow the reciprocal addressing.”2.2 Differenc
8、es in greeting It is appropriate to ask how westerners greet to each other when they meet each other. When coming face to face, Chinese usually adopt greeting words like Where are you going? or Have you eaten yet? But if you greet westerners in the same way, most of them will definitely feel puzzled
9、 and be likely to misunderstand you. For instance, when hearing the question Have you eaten yet? westerners will regard it as an invitation to dinner in all likelihood. And it is not safe to say Where are you going? which will probably displease them because they are under the impression that you in
10、tend to encroach their privacy. Apart from this, addressing can be regarded as a way of greeting by Chinese. For example, if one Chinese student happens to meet his or her teacher on campus, he or she may greet that teacher by using Teacher! to show respect to the teacher. However, it is quite diffe
11、rent in English-speaking countries like America and Britain. In those countries, if you greet the teacher in this way, the teacher will think that you want to talk with him or her.2.3 Differences in praisingIt is well-known that modesty has been our conventional virtue from the very beginning of our
12、 ancestors, so we Chinese seldom agree to the compliment on us. Virtually, modesty is also seen among westerners, too. However, their way of expressing modesty differs dramatically from ours. I heard a story told about an American and a young Chinese lady. You look beautiful today. said the American
13、. Where, where, answered the young lady in an extremely humble tone. It was fortune that the American replied artfully by Everywhere. which avoided the ladys possible awkwardness. Usually, the ladys proper answer had better be Thank you! or Thank you for saying so!”2.4 Differences in visitingIn Engl
14、ish-speaking countries, one had better make an appointment before paying a visit to whoever it is. Otherwise, the host will feel unpleasant in that your unexpected visit disorders their arrangements .Though you have made an appointment, you should master the time properly. Thats to say, youd better
15、arrive at the hosts house on time. But Americans are accustomed to arrive 3 to 5 minutes in advance or 10 minutes late in order to give the hostess enough time for make-up or dressing.2.5 Differences in partingWhen its time to say farewell to the host, the manner and rhythm vary distinguishably from
16、 one culture to another. It is common that Chinese say Go slowly, walk slowly, come again. to show appropriate feeling that they are expecting the guests next visit though sometimes it is not the hosts true feeling. Compared with Chinese, westerners will indicate to the host their idea to leave 10 t
17、o 20 minutes earlier. For example, the guest may say I guess I must be going soon. I have to pick up my children. Then they will continue to talk for another 10 or more minutes before the guest really leaves. And they prefer to say See you later. or Goodbye! to each other.2.6 Differences in giving a
18、 presentIt is greatly appreciated that courtesy demands reciprocity in China. And Chinese regard the value of the gift as a criterion to measure your respect toward the gift receiver. However, the westerners, especially Americans, pay much more attention to the meaning of the gift rather than the mu
19、ndane value. I remember my friend Sun received a birthday present, which is just a common card from our foreign teacher. At that time, I held that Americans were so mean. But now I realize how stupid my thought was. The attitudes toward the present also differ between westerners and Chinese. Chinese
20、 will pretend to decline the present in front of the person who gives it. But in English culture, people will unfold the present immediately and express their appreciation to others. Otherwise, the other side will be probably under the impression that you do not value his or her present at all.In En
21、glish culture, people are accustomed to give flowers as present. The number and color of flowers are very essential to them. It is universally acknowledged among western people that white flowers or even numbers of flowers will bring them misfortune. Besides, its inappropriate to give flowers mixed
22、with white and red to patients as a present.III.The Reasons of DifferencesThe differences in social communication mainly derive from various factors. Therefore, it does good to acknowledge these factors. Following are these factors:3.1 Conventional conceptThe most important factor is the conventiona
23、l concept which leads to the differences in social communication (Zhang Yan, 2009:6) by assertion:“Confucianism, whose core is mercy and modesty, has been the dominant thought in China since ancient times. While condemned by many critics, it is still deep-rooted in the minds of Chinese. Different fr
24、om Chinese culture, Christianity plays a very important role in western countries. Westerners widely believe that all of them are sons of the Father, and everyone is created equal.” Spontaneously, they deem that their appellations should be equal, too. 3.2 Education In China, students are educated t
25、o act in a fixed way. For instance, only after they raise their hands can they answer the questions given by the teacher because thats a regulation in class. To be entirely different, western students are freer in their class. There is no need for them to raise hands or stand up to answer questions
26、at all. Naturally, the conception of regulation goes deep into the minds of Chinese students day by day; on the contrary, the idea of freedom gets ingrained in the minds of western students progressively. IV.Benefits From Knowing These Differences4.1 Making more friendsGenerally speaking, a good und
27、erstanding of each other is like a great bridge which serves as the bond of friendship. Only by knowing the dislikes or taboos of other people can you do your best to avoid offending others without care, and then you will find that you are lucky enough to get a chance to build a friendship bridge. A
28、s an old saying goes, Many friends make the path. There is no other harm than good to make more friends.4.2 Gaining respectsTo some extent, it is a presentation of your personal qualities both in knowledge and virtues. For instance, you are seated with several Chinese friends talking about the manne
29、rs or taboos in America or Britain, your acquaintance with the theme must surprise your peers, and there is no doubt that they will cast their admirable eyes on your extensive knowledge. If you are talking with westerners, they will think that you are a person with virtues who deserves respects, too
30、. “Apart from this, knowing the differences will save us from embarrassing moments when we are with others.”(L Imperial, 2003:64)4.3 Improving the international image of our nationFrom the viewpoint of politicians, it is meaningful to know the differences in politics. Because one stands not only for
31、 himself or herself but also for one part of the whole nation, therefore, an individuals proper behavior seems to be of great help in improving the international image of our nation.V.ConclusionHaving discussed so many aspects of them, we can easily have a general idea of the differences in greeting
32、, parting, visiting, etc. between westerners and Chinese. Apart from this, we also see the significance of knowing the differences from both personal and national perspectives. To be more specific, we can make friends with more foreigners, gain respects from them, and meantime improve the internatio
33、nal image of our nation. Hence, it is necessary that we should be familiar with the dissimilarities among different cultures so that we can avoid those unnecessary misunderstanding in social intercourse. (1632 words)ReferencesL Imperial. Mannersmore Than Etiquett2003Ed.2003, 64黄艳丽.中西方文化差异与社交礼仪.邵阳学院学
34、报（社会科学版）.2005, 3张燕.中西社交礼仪的差异.赤峰学院学报（ 汉文哲学社会科学版）.2009, 61.爱不释手fondle admiringly.2.百闻不如一见（眼见为实） Seeing is believing.3.比上不足比下有余 worse off than some, better off than many; to fall short of the best, but be better than the worst. 4.笨鸟先飞 A slow sparrow should make an early start. 5.不眠之夜 white night 6.不以物喜
35、不以己悲 not pleased by external gains, not saddened by personnal losses 7.不遗余力 spare no effort; go all out; do ones best 8.不打不成交 No discord, no concord. 9.拆东墙补西墙 rob Peter to pay Paul 10.辞旧迎新 bid farewell to the old and usher in the new; ring out the old year and ring in the new 11.大事化小小事化了 try first t
36、o make their mistake sound less serious and then to reduce it to nothing at all 12.大开眼界 open ones eyes; broaden ones horizon; be an eye-opener 13.国泰民安 The country flourishes and people live in peace.14.过犹不及 going too far is as bad as not going far enough; beyond is as wrong as falling short; too muc
37、h is as bad as too little 15.功夫不负有心人 Everything comes to him who waits. 16.好了伤疤忘了疼 once on shore, one prays no more 17.好事不出门恶事传千里 Good news never goes beyond the gate, while bad news spread far and wide. 18.和气生财 Harmony brings wealth. 19.活到老学到老 One is never too old to learn. 20.既往不咎 let bygones be b
38、ygones 21.金无足赤人无完人 Gold cant be pure and man cant be perfect. 22.金玉满堂 Treasures fill the home. 23.脚踏实地 be down-to-earth 24.脚踩两只船 sit on the fence 25.君子之交淡如水 the friendship between gentlemen is as pure as crystal; a hedge between keeps friendship green 26.老生常谈陈词滥调 cut and dried, clich 27.礼尚往来 Courtes
39、y calls for reciprocity. 28.留得青山在不怕没柴烧 Where there is life, there is hope. 29.马到成功 achieve immediate victory; win instant success 30.名利双收 gain in both fame and wealth 31.茅塞顿开 be suddenly enlightened 32.没有规矩不成方圆 Nothing can be accomplished without norms or standards. 33.每逢佳节倍思亲 On festive occasions m
40、ore than ever one thinks of ones dear ones far away.It is on the festival occasions when one misses his dear most. 34.谋事在人成事在天 The planning lies with man, the outcome with Heaven. Man proposes, God disposes. 35.弄巧成拙 be too smart by half; Cunning outwits itself 36.拿手好戏 masterpiece 37.赔了夫人又折兵 throw go
41、od money after bad 38.抛砖引玉 a modest spur to induce others to come forward with valuable contributions; throw a sprat to catch a whale 39.破釜沉舟 cut off all means of retreat；burn ones own way of retreat and be determined to fight to the end40.抢得先机 take the preemptive opportunities 41.巧妇难为无米之炊 If you ha
42、ve no hand you cant make a fist. One cant make bricks without straw.42.千里之行始于足下 a thousand-li journey begins with the first step-the highest eminence is to be gained step by step 43.前事不忘后事之师 Past experience, if not forgotten, is a guide for the future. 44.前人栽树后人乘凉 One generation plants the trees in
43、whose shade another generation rests.One sows and another reaps. 45.前怕狼后怕虎 fear the wolf in front and the tiger behind hesitate in doing something 46.强龙难压地头蛇 Even a dragon (from the outside) finds it hard to control a snake in its old haunt - Powerful outsiders can hardly afford to neglect local bul
44、lies. 47.强强联手 win-win co-operation 48.瑞雪兆丰年 A timely snow promises a good harvest. 49.人之初性本善 Mans nature at birth is good. 50.人逢喜事精神爽 Joy puts heart into a man. 51.人海战术 huge-crowd strategy 52.世上无难事只要肯攀登 Where there is a will, there is a way. 53.世外桃源 a fictitious land of peace away from the turmoil o
45、f the world; 54.死而后已 until my heart stops beating 55.岁岁平安 Peace all year round. 56.上有天堂下有苏杭 Just as there is paradise in heaven, while there are Suzhou and Hangzhou on earth 57.塞翁失马焉知非福 Misfortune may be an actual blessing. 58.三十而立 A man should be independent at the age of thirty.At thirty, a man sh
46、ould be able to think for himself. 59.升级换代 updating and upgrading (of products)60.四十不惑 Life begins at forty. 61.谁言寸草心报得三春晖 Such kindness of warm sun, cant be repaid by grass. 62.水涨船高 When the river rises, the boat floats high. 63.时不我待Time and tide wait for no man. 64.杀鸡用牛刀break a butterfly on the wh
47、eel 65.实事求是seek truth from facts; be practical and realistic; be true to facts 66.说曹操,曹操到Talk of the devil and he comes. 67.实话实说speak the plain truth; call a spade a spade; tell it as it is 68.实践是检验真理的唯一标准Practice is the sole criterion for testing truth. 69.山不在高，有仙则名No matter how high the mountain i
48、s, its name will spread far and wide if there is a fairy; 70.韬光养晦hide ones capacities and bide ones time 71.糖衣炮弹sugar-coated bullets 72.天有不测风云Anything unexpected may happen. a bolt from the blue 73.团结就是力量Unity is strength. 74.“跳进黄河洗不清” eve if one jumped into the Yellow River, one can not wash oneself clean-theres nothing one can do to clear ones name.75.歪风邪气unhealthy practices and evil phenomena 76.物以类聚，人以群分Birds of a feather flock together. 77.往事如风The past has vanished (from memory) like wind.; What in past, is pas 78.望子成龙hold high hopes for one