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1、Desperate Housewives Season 1 Episode 1 Mary: My name is Mary Alice Young. When you read this morning s paper, you may come across an article about the unusual day I had last week. Normally, there is never anything newsworthy about my daily life, but that all changed last Thursday. Of course everyth
2、ing seemed quite normal at first. I made breakfast for my family; I performed my chores; I completed my projects; I ran my errands. In truth, I spend the day as I spend every other day quietly polishing the routine of my life until it gleamed with perfection. That is why it s so astonishing when I d
3、ecided to go to my hallway closet and retrieve a revolver that had never been used. My body was discovered by my neighbor, Mrs. Marsha Huber, who had been startled by a strange popping sound. Her curiosity aroused, Mrs. Huber tried to think of a reason for dropping on unannounced. After some initial
4、 hesitation, she decided to return the blender she had burrowed from me 6 months before. Marsha Huber:Oh! It s my neighbor. I think she has been shot! There s blood everywhere. Yes, you ve got to send an ambulance. You ve got to send one right now!Mary:And for a moment, Mrs. Huber stood motionless i
5、n her kitchen, grief-stricken by the senseless tragedy, but, only for a moment. If there is one thing Mrs. Huber was known for, it was her ability to look on the bright side. Mary: I was laid to rest on Monday. After the funeral, all residents of Wisteria Lane came to pay their respect. And as peopl
6、e do in this situation, they brought food. Lynette Scavo brought fried chicken. Lynette had a great family recipe for fried chicken. Of course, she didn t cook much when she was moving up the corporate ladders. She didn t have the time. But when her doctor announced Lynette was pregnant, her husband
7、, Tom, had an idea. “ Why not quit your job? Kids do better with stay home mom. So it would be so much less stressful. But, this was not the case. In fact, Lynettes life had become so hectic. She was now forced to get her fried chicken from a fast food restaurant. Lynette would have appreciated the
8、irony if she started to think about it. But, she couldn t. She didn t have the time. Lynette: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Kids: Mom! Lynette: You re going to behave today. I will not going to be humiliated in front of the entire neighborhood. And, just so you know how serious I am? One of the twins:
9、What s that? Lynette: Santa s cell phone number. The other of the twins: How do you get that? Lynette: I know someone who knows someone who knows an elf. And if any of you acts up, so help me, I will call Santa and I will tell him you want socks for Christmas! Are you 名师资料总结 - - -精品资料欢迎下载 - - - - -
10、- - - - - - - - - - - - - 名师精心整理 - - - - - - - 第 1 页，共 12 页 - - - - - - - - - willing to risk that? Kids shake their heads no. Lynette: Ok. Let s get this over with. Mary: Gabrielle Solis, who lives down the block, brought spicy paella. Since her modeling days in New York, Gabrielle had developed he
11、r taste for rich food and rich men. Carlos, who worked in mergers and acquisitions, proposed on their third date. Gabrielle was touched when tears welled up his eyes. But she soon discovered this happened every time Carlos closed a big deal. Gabrielle liked paella piping hot. However, her relationsh
12、ip with her husband was considerably cooler. Carlos: If you talk to Al Mason about a thing, I want you casually mention how much I paid for your necklace. Gabrielle: Why don t I just paint the receipt on my chest? Carlos: He let me know how much he had paid for his wife s new convertible. Look, just
13、 work into the conversation. Gabrielle: I just can t find a way to work it in, Carlos. Carlos: Why not? At the Donahue Party, everyone was talking about the mutual funds, and you found a way to mention you slept with half of the Yankee outfielders. Gabrielle: I am telling you, it came up in the cont
14、ext of the conversations. Carlos: Hey! People are starting to stare. Can you keep your voice down, please? Gabrielle: Absolutely. Wouldn t want people to think we are not happy. Mary:Bree Van De Camp, who lives next door, brought baskets of muffins she baked from scratch. Bree was known for her cook
15、ing, and for making for her clothes, and for doing her own gardening and for re-upholstering her own furniture. Yes, Bree s many talents were known throughout the neighborhood and everyone on Wisteria Lane thought of Bree as a perfect wife and mother. Everyone that is, except, her own family. Bree:
16、Paul, Zachary. Zachary: Hello, Mrs. Van De Camp. Paul: Bree, you shouldn t be gone through so much troubles. Bree: It was no trouble at all. Now the basket with red ribbon spilled with deserts for your guests but the one with blue ribbon is just for you and Zachary. It s gonna be rolls, muffins brea
17、kfast type things. Paul: Thank you. Bree: At least I can make sure your boy would not miss a meal for tomorrow. I know you re out of your mind with your grief. Paul: Yes, we are. Bree: Of course, I will need the baskets back once you done. Paul: Of course. Mary: Susan Mayer, who lives across the str
18、eet, brought macaroni and cheeses. Her husband Carl always teased about her macaroni, saying this was the only thing she knew how to cook and she rarely she made it well. It was too salty when she and Carl moved in their house. It was too watery 名师资料总结 - - -精品资料欢迎下载 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
19、 - 名师精心整理 - - - - - - - 第 2 页，共 12 页 - - - - - - - - - when the night she found lipstick on Carl s shirt. She was burnt it the night Carl told her he was leaving her for his secretary. A year had passed since her divorce, Susan had started to think how nice it would be to have a man in her life even
20、 one who would made fun of her cooking. Julie: Mom, why would someone kill themselves? Susan: Well. Sometimes people are so unhappy and they think this is the only way they can solve their problems. Julie: But Mrs. Young always seemed happy. Susan: Yeah. Sometimes people pretend to be one way on the
21、 outside, but they are totally different on the inside. Julie: Are you mean like Dad s girlfriend who is smiling and says nice thing, but deep down, you just know she s a bitch? Susan: I don t like that word, Julie. But, yeah, that a great example. Susan: Hey, I m sorry I m late. Lynette: Hey, Susan
22、. Mary: So what did Carl say when you confronted him? Susan: You will love it. He said, “ It doesn t mean anything. It was just sex. ”Bree: Oh. That was on the page one of Penthouse tablet. Susan: Yeah. And then he had a Zen look on his face, said, “ You know, Susan. Most men lived lives of quiet de
23、speration. ”Lynette: Please tell me you punched him. Susan: No. I said, “ Really , and what about most women live? Lives of noisy fulfillment? Mary: Good for you. Susan: I mean, of all people. Did he have to bang his secretary? I had that woman over for brunch. Gabrielle: It s like my grandmother al
24、ways said an erect penis does not have conscious. Lynette: Even limps ones aren t of that ethnical. Bree: So that is the reason I joined in NRA. When Rex started going to those medical conference, I wanted it in the back of his mind that he had a loving wife at home with loaded of Smith & Wesson. Ma
25、ry: Lynette, Tom s always away on business. Do you ever worry on him? Lynette: Oh, please. This man got me pregnant 3 times in 4 years. I wish him having sex with someone else. Bree: So Susan, has he gonna to stop seeing that woman? Susan: I don t know. I m sorry, guys. I justI just don t know how I
26、 m going to survive this. Mary: Listen to me. We all have moments of desperation. But if we face them head on, that s when we find out just tells us how strong we really are. Bree: Susan! Susan! I was just saying Paul wants us to go over on Friday. He needs us to go through Mary Alice s closet and p
27、ack up her things. He said he can t face doing it by himself. Susan: Sure, that s fine. Bree: Are you Ok? Susan: Yeah. I m just angry. If Mary Alice was having problems, she should have come to us. She should have let us to help her. 名师资料总结 - - -精品资料欢迎下载 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 名师精心整理 -
28、- - - - - - 第 3 页，共 12 页 - - - - - - - - - Gabrielle: What kind of problem could she have had? She was healthy, had a great home and nice family. Her life was Lynette: Our life. Gabrielle: No. If Mary Alice was having something of crisis, we should have known. She is just 50 feet away of us. Susan:
29、Gaby, that woman killed herself. Something must be going on. Susan: I wouldn t eat that if I were you. Mike: Why? Susan: I made it. Trust me. Hey! Hey! Do you have death wish? Mike: No. I just refuse to believe that anybody can screw up the macaroni and cheese. Oh, my God! How did you ? It tastes li
30、ke burned and undercooked. Susan: Yeah. I get that a lot. Mike: Thanks. I m Mike Delfino. I just start renting Sims s house next door. Susan: Susan Mayer, I live across the street. Mike: Oh, I heard from Mrs. Huber about you. She said you illustrate children s book. Susan: Yeah. I m very big with th
31、e under 5 set. What do you do? Mike: Plumber. So if you ever have a clog or something Susan: Now, everybody s seen I have brought something. I should probably just throw this out. Lynette: Ease up. Little vampire. Huber: Lynette, I ve being looking all over for you. Are you aware of what are your so
32、ns doing? Lynette: What are you doing? We are at a wake. One of the twins: When we got here, you said we can go into the pool. Lynette: I said you can go by the pool. Did you have your swim suits on? One of the twins: Yeah. We put on our swim suits when we left. Lynette: You three planed it all righ
33、t. That s it! Get out! One of the twins: No! Lynette: No? I am your mother. You have to do what I say. Come on! One of the twins: We want to swim. You can t stop us! Lynette: Get out or I ll get into the pool to grab you! Get out! Get over here. That s right! Get over here. Out! Get out! Paul, we ha
34、ve to leave now. Once again, I am so sorry for your loss. Go! Mary: Lynette should have not been so concerned about my husband. He had other things in his mind, things below the surface. The morning after my funeral, my friends and neighbors quietly withdraw back to their busy, busy life. Some did t
35、heir cooking; and some did their cleaning; and some did their yoga; others, did their home work. Julie: Hi! I am Julie. I kicked my soccer ball into your backyard. Mike: Oh, ok. Well, let s go around and go get it. Stay. Julie: His wife died a year ago. He wanted to stay in L.A. but there were too m
36、any memories. He is renting for tax purposes but he hopes to buy a place real soon. Susan: I can t believe you went over there. Julie: Hey, I saw you were both flirting at the wake. You re obviously into each other. Now you know he is single. You can ask him out. 名师资料总结 - - -精品资料欢迎下载 - - - - - - - -
37、 - - - - - - - - - - 名师精心整理 - - - - - - - 第 4 页，共 12 页 - - - - - - - - - Susan: Julie, I like Mr. Delfino. I do. I just don t know if I m getting ready for dating out. Julie: Oh, you need to get out from here. Come on. How long has it been since you have sex? Are you mad at I asked you that? Susan:
38、No. I just try to remember. I don t want to talk with you about my love affair anymore. It weirds me out Julie: I wouldn t say anything. It s justSusan: What? Julie: I heard Dad s girlfriend asked if you dated anyone since your divorce. And Dad said he doubted it. And then they both laughed. Mike: H
39、ey. Susan. Susan: Hi. Mike. I brought you a house warming gift. I probably should have come by earlier, butMike: Actually, you are the first neighbor who came to step by. Susan: Really? Well Mary: Susan knew she was lucky. An eligible bachelor had moved to Wisteria Lane and she was the first one fou
40、nd out. And she also knew the good news travels quickly. Edie Brit was the most predatory divorcee in 5-block radius. Her conquests were numerous, varied and legendary. Edie: Hey, Susan. Hope I didn t interrupt in. You must be Mike Delfino. Hi, I m Edie, Britt. I live over there. Welcome to Wisteria
41、 Lane. Mary: Susan had met an enemy and she was a slot. Mike: Thank you. Ha-ha.What s this? Edie: Sausage pudding etc. Just those things I put together. Mike: Thanks, Edie. Tha t s great. I should invite you both in, but I was sort of in the middle of something Mary: And just like that, the race of
42、Mike Delfino had begun. For a moment, Susan wondered if her rivalry with Edie will remain friendly. Edie: Oh, Mike, I heard you are a plumber? Mary: But she was reminded when it came to man, women don t fight fair. Edie: Do you think you can stop by later tonight to take a look at my pipe? Mike: Sur
43、e. Edie: Thanks! Bye, Susan. Gabrielle: You can t order me aroud like I m your child! Carlos: Gabrielle! Gabrielle: No! No! No! No! I m not going! Carlos: It s business. Tanaka expects everyone to bring their wives. Gabrielle: Every time I m around that man, he tries to grab my ass. Carlos: I made o
44、ver 200,000 dollars doing business with that man last week. If he wants to grab your ass, you let him. John! John: Mr. Solis. You scared me. Carlos: Why that bush still here? You supposed to dig it out last week. John: I didn t have time. Carlos: I don t want to hear your excuses. Just take care of
45、it. Gabrielle: I really hate the way you talk to me. 名师资料总结 - - -精品资料欢迎下载 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 名师精心整理 - - - - - - - 第 5 页，共 12 页 - - - - - - - - - Carlos: And I really hate that I spend 15,000 dollars on your diamond necklace that you couldn t live without. But I ve learned to deal wi
46、th it. So can I tell Tanaka we ll be there tomorrow night? Gabrielle: John, we have bandages on top shelf of the kitchen. John: Thanks. Mrs. Solis. Gabrielle: Fine, I ll go. But I am keeping my back pressed against the wall the entire time. Carlos: See? That is what marriage all about, compromise. G
47、abrielle: Is your finger Ok? John: Yeah. Yeah, just a small cut. Gabrielle : Let me see. John: You know, Mrs. Solis. I really like it when we hook up. But, I just gonna get my work done. And I can t afford to lose this job. Gabrielle: This table was hand-carved. Carlos had it imported from Italy. It
48、 costs him 23,000 dollars. John: You want to do it on this tablet this time? Gabrielle: Absolutely. Danielle: Why can t we have some normal soup? Bree: Danielle, there is nothing abnormal about basil puree. Danielle: Just once. Can t we have some soup people have heard of? Like French onion or Navy
49、bean. Bree: First of all, your father can t eat onion, he is deathly allergic. And I won t dignify your Navy beans suggestion. So, how is the osso buco? Andrew: That s Ok. Bree: It s Ok? Andrew, I spend 3 hours cooking this meal. How do you think it makes me feel when you say “ It s Ok” in the sulle
50、n tone? Andrew: Who asked you to spend 3 hours on dinner? Bree: Excuse me? Andrew: Tim Harper s mom gets home from work; pops open a can of pork and beans. They are eating. Everyone is happy. Bree: You d rather I serve pork and beans? Danielle: Apologies now, I m begging you. Andrew: I m saying, do