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1、爆笑英语笑话爆笑英语笑话1 Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into hi
2、s mouth and then said: You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese? In the rat-trap, sir, replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主子向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩静静地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。 爆笑英语笑话2 The m
3、ean man's party The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot. Why use my elbow and foot? Well, gosh, was the reply, You're not
4、 coming empty-hangded, are you? 吝啬鬼请客 一个出了名的吝啬鬼最终确定要请一次客了。他在向一个挚友说明怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。” “为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?” “你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答。 爆笑英语笑话3 There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. 曾经有只蜗牛，它对自己动作慢的名声感到了厌恶和疲乏。 Hedecided to ge
5、t some fast wheels to make up the difference. 他决心去弄些跑得飞速的轮子来变更这种境况。 After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. 逛了一圈之后，它确定买Datson 240-Z。 So the snail goes to the nearest Datsundealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted 240-S. 去了最近的Dat
6、sun经销店，去买Datson 240-Z，但是它想把这辆车重新刷漆，改称240-S。 The dealer asks, Why 'S'? 经销商问：“为什么是S呢?” The snail replies, 'S' stands for snail. 蜗牛回答说：“s代表蜗牛。 I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving. 我想让每一个望见我咆哮而过的人知道是谁在开车。” Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the uniq
7、ue opportunity to sell a car to a snail, 经销商不想失去把汽车卖给蜗牛这样一个机会， so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small fee. 所以他同意收取些许费用，把车重新涂漆。 The snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. 蜗牛开着它的新车，把自己的余生都用在了欢乐地高速行使在告知马路上。 And whenever anyone wo
8、uld see him zooming by, they'd say Wow! Look at that S-car go! 而不论何时任何人望见它疾驰而过的时候，都会说：“哦!看那S-car 。” 爆笑英语笑话4 The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitors Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat al
9、one in his cell. So one Visitors Day, the warden called George to his office and said, I notice youve never had any visitors, George. Sympathetic, he put his hand on Georges shoulder. Tell me, dont you have any friends or family? George replied, Oh, sure I do, Warden. Its just that theyre all in here! 典狱长对狱中一位囚犯深感怜悯，因为每逢周末的探访日，大多数囚犯都有家人或挚友来访，但是可怜的乔治总是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。 因此在一个探访日，典狱长把乔治叫到办公室说：“乔治，我留意到从来没有人来探望过你。”他满怀怜悯地把手放在乔治的肩膀上：“告知我，你没有任何挚友或家人吗?” 乔治回答：“喔!当然有，典狱长，只不过他们全都在这里面!” 爆笑英语笑话