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1、www.XiYuS锡育软件So,Ill start with this:a couple years ago,an event plannercalled me because I was going to do a speaking event.那我就这么开始吧:几年前,一个活动策划人打电话给我,因为我当时要做一个演讲。00:12And she called,and she said,Im really struggling with howto write about you on the little flier.她在电话里说:“我真很苦恼该如何在宣传单上 介绍你。”00:18And I
2、 thought,Well,whats the struggle?我心想,怎么会苦恼呢？00:24And she said,Well,I saw you speak,and Im going to callyou a researcher,I think,but Im afraid if I call you aresearcher,no one will come,because theyll think youreboring and irrelevant.她继续道:“你看,我听过你的演讲,我觉得我可以称你为研究者,可我担心的是,如果我这么称呼你,没人会来听,因为大家普遍认为研究员很无趣而
3、且脱离现实。”00:26(Laughter)And I was like,Okay.（笑声）好。00:35And she said,But the thing I liked about your talk is youre astoryteller.然后她说:“但是我喜欢你的演讲,就跟讲故事一样很吸引人。00:39So I think what Ill do is just call you a storyteller.我想来想去,还是觉得称你为讲故事的人比较妥当。”00:43And of course,the academic,insecure part of me was like,Yo
4、ure going to call me a what?而那个做学术的,感到不安的我 脱口而出道:“你要叫我什么？”00:46And she said,Im going to call you a storyteller.她说:“我要称你为讲故事的人。00:51planner:n.计划者,规划师 flier:n.飞行员;快车;飞行物;(美)广告传单 irrelevant:adj.不相干的;不切题的 storyteller:n.说故事的人;故事作者;短篇小说作家 insecure:adj.不安全的;不稳定的;不牢靠的And I was like,Why not magic pixie?我心想:”
5、为什么不干脆叫魔法小精灵？“00:54(Laughter)I was like,Let me think about this for a second.（笑声）我说:”让我考虑一下。“00:57I tried to call deep on my courage.我试着鼓起勇气。01:03And I thought,you know,I am a storyteller.我对自己说,我是一个讲故事的人。01:06Im a qualitative researcher.我是一个从事定性研究的科研人员。01:09I collect stories;thats what I do.我收集故事;这就
6、是我的工作。01:11And maybe stories are just data with a soul.或许故事就是有灵魂的数据。01:13And maybe Im just a storyteller.或许我就是一个讲故事的人。01:16And so I said,You know what?于是我说:”听着,01:18Why dont you just say Im a researcher-storyteller.要不你就称我为做研究兼讲故事的人。“01:20And she went,Haha.Theres no such thing.她说:”哈哈,没这么个说法呀。“01:23(L
7、aughter)So Im a researcher-storyteller,and Im going totalk to you today-were talking about expandingperception-and so I want to talk to you and tell somestories about a piece of my research that fundamentallyexpanded my perception（笑声）所以我是个做研究兼讲故事的人,我今天想跟大家谈论的-我们要谈论的话题是关于拓展认知-我想给你们讲几个故事 是关于我的一份研究的,这份
8、研究从本质上拓宽了我个人的认知,01:26and really actually changed the way that I live and love andwork and parent.也确确实实改变了我生活、爱、工作还有教育孩子的方式。01:42pixie:n.小精灵,小仙子/adj.调皮捣蛋的 qualitative:adj.定性的；质的，性质上的 expanded:adj.扩充的;展开的/vt.扩大(expand的过去式)And this is where my story starts.我的故事从这里开始。01:47When I was a young researcher,d
9、octoral student,my firstyear I had a research professor who said to us,Heres thething,if you cannot measure it,it does not exist.当我还是个年轻的博士研究生的时候,第一年,有位研究教授 对我们说:”事实是这样的,如果有一个东西你无法测量,那么它就不存在。“01:49And I thought he was just sweet-talking me.我心想他只是在哄哄我们这些小孩子吧。02:01I was like,Really?and he was like,Abs
10、olutely.我说:“真的么？”他说:“当然。”02:04And so you have to understand that I have a bachelors insocial work,a masters in social work,and I was getting myPh.D.in social work,so my entire academic career wassurrounded by people who kind of believed in the lifesmessy,love it.你得知道 我有一个社会工作的学士文凭,一个社会工作的硕士文凭,我在读的是一
11、个社会工作的博士文凭,所以我整个学术生涯 都被人所包围,他们大抵相信 生活是一团乱麻,接受它。02:07And Im more of the,lifes messy,clean it up,organize it andput it into a bento box.而我的观点则倾向于,生活是一团乱麻,解开它,把它整理好,再归类放入便当盒里。02:22(Laughter)And so to think that I had found my way,to founda career that takes me-really,one of the big sayings in（笑声）我觉得我领悟
12、到了关键,有能力去创一番事业,让自己-真的,社会工作的一个重要理念是 置身于工作的不适中。02:29TED演讲者：Brene Brown|布琳.布朗演讲标题：Brene Brown:The power of vulnerability|脆弱的力量内容概要：Bren Brown studies vulnerability,courage,authenticity,and shame.布琳.布朗致力于研究人与人的关系-我们感同身受的能力、获得归属感的能力、爱的能力。在TEDx休斯敦一次富有感染力的幽默谈话中，她跟我们分享了她的研究发现，一个让她更想深入了解自己以及人类的发现。a career th
13、at takes me-really,one of the big sayings insocial work is,Lean into the discomfort of the work.身于工作的不适中。02:29doctoral:adj.博士的;博士学位的;有博士学位的/n.博士论文 sweet-talking:vt.奉承;用花言巧语劝诱/vi.奉承;用花言巧语劝诱;讲甜言蜜语 messy:adj.凌乱的,散乱的;肮脏的,污秽的;麻烦的 bento:n.(日)盒饭(等于obento)sayings:n.语录(saying的复数)discomfort:n.不适,不安;不便之处/vt.使不
14、舒服;使不安And Im like,knock discomfort upside the head and move itover and get all As.我就是要把这不适翻个底朝天 每科都拿到A。02:43That was my mantra.这就是我当时的信条。02:48So I was very excited about this.我当时真的是跃跃欲试。02:51And so I thought,you know what,this is the career for me,because I am interested in some messy topics.我想这就是我要
15、的职业生涯,因为我对乱成一团,难以处理的课题感兴趣。02:53But I want to be able to make them not messy.我想要把它们弄清楚。02:59I want to understand them.我想要理解它们。03:01I want to hack into these things I know are important and laythe code out for everyone to see.我想侵入那些 我知道是重要的东西 把它们摸透,然后用浅显易懂的方式呈献给每一个人。03:03So where I started was with co
16、nnection.所以我的起点是“关系”。03:09Because,by the time youre a social worker for 10 years,whatyou realize is that connection is why were here.因为当你从事了10年的社会工作,你必然会发现 关系是我们活着的原因。03:12Its what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.它赋予了我们生命的意义。03:20This is what its all about.就是这么简单。03:23It doesnt matter whether
17、 you talk to people who work insocial justice and mental health and abuse and neglect,whatwe know is that connection,the ability to feel connected,is-neurobiologically thats how were wired-its why werehere.无论你跟谁交流 工作在社会执法领域的也好,负责精神健康、虐待和疏于看管领域的也好 我们所知道的是,关系 是种感应的能力-生物神经上,我们是这么被设定的-这就是为什么我们在这儿。03:25m
18、antra:n.咒语(尤指四吠陀经典内作为咒文或祷告唱念的);颂歌So I thought,you know what,Im going to start withconnection.所以我就从关系开始。03:40Well,you know that situation where you get an evaluationfrom your boss,and she tells you 37 things you do reallyawesome,and one thing-an opportunity for growth?下面这个场景我们再熟悉不过了,你的上司给你作工作评估,她告诉了你
19、37点你做得相当棒的地方,还有一点-成长的空间？03:43(Laughter)And all you can think about is that opportunity forgrowth,right?（笑声）然后你满脑子都想着那一点成长的空间,不是么。03:53Well,apparently this is the way my work went as well,because,when you ask people about love,they tell you aboutheartbreak.这也是我研究的一个方面,因为当你跟人们谈论爱情,他们告诉你的是一件让他们心碎的事。03:
20、59When you ask people about belonging,theyll tell you theirmost excruciating experiences of being excluded.当你跟人们谈论归属感,他们告诉你的是最让他们痛心的 被排斥的经历。04:07And when you ask people about connection,the stories theytold me were about disconnection.当你跟人们谈论关系,他们跟我讲的是如何被断绝关系的故事。04:14So very quickly-really about six
21、 weeks into this research-Iran into this unnamed thing that absolutely unraveledconnection in a way that I didnt understand or had neverseen.所以很快的-在大约开始研究这个课题6周以后-我遇到了这个前所未闻的东西 它揭示了关系 以一种我不理解也从没见过的方式。04:19to start with:adv.首先;作为开始(等于forastart)evaluation:n.评价;审计评估;估价;求值 awesome:adj.令人敬畏的;使人畏惧的;可怕的;极好
22、的 heartbreak:n.心碎;伤心事 belonging:n.所有物;行李;附属物 excruciating:adj.折磨人的;使苦恼的/v.折磨;使苦恼;使受酷刑(excruciate的ing形式)disconnection:n.电断开;分离,切断 unnamed:adj.无名的;未命名的;未提及的 unraveled:vt.解开;阐明;解决;拆散/vi.解决;散开 in a way:在某种程度上;有点儿;十分激动And so I pulled back out of the research and thought,I needto figure out what this is.所
23、以我暂停了原先的研究计划,对自己说,我得弄清楚这到底是什么。04:31And it turned out to be shame.它最终被鉴定为耻辱感。04:36www.XiYuS锡育软件And shame is really easily understood as the fear ofdisconnection:Is there something about me that,if otherpeople know it or see it,that I wont be worthy ofconnection?耻辱感很容易理解,即害怕被断绝关系。有没有一些关于我的事 如果别人知道了或看到
24、了,会认为我不值得交往。04:39The things I can tell you about it:its universal;we all have it.我要告诉你们的是:这种现象很普遍;我们都会有（这种想法）。04:51The only people who dont experience shame have nocapacity for human empathy or connection.没有体验过耻辱的人 不具有人类的同情或关系。04:55No one wants to talk about it,and the less you talk about itthe more
25、 you have it.没人想谈论自己的糗事,你谈论的越少,你越感到可耻。04:59What underpinned this shame,this Im not good enough,-which we all know that feeling:Im not blank enough.Im滋生耻辱感的 是一种“我不够好.的心态-我们都知道这是个什么滋味:”我不够什么。我不够苗条,不够有钱,不够漂亮,不够聪明,职位不够高。-which we all know that feeling:Im not blank enough.Imnot thin enough,rich enough,be
26、autiful enough,smartenough,promoted enough.条,不够有钱,不够漂亮,不够聪明,职位不够高。“05:06The thing that underpinned this was excruciatingvulnerability,this idea of,in order for connection to happen,we have to allow ourselves to be seen,really seen.而支撑这种心态的 是一种刻骨铭心的脆弱,关键在于 要想产生关系,我们必须让自己被看见,真真切切地被看见。05:18worthy of:值得
27、,配得上 empathy:n.神入;移情作用;执着 promoted:adj.晋升的/n.升迁/v.促进(promote的过去式);提升And you know how I feel about vulnerability.I hatevulnerability.你知道我怎么看待脆弱。我恨它。05:32And so I thought,this is my chance to beat it back with mymeasuring stick.所以我思考着,这次是轮到我 用我的标尺击溃它的时候了。05:35Im going in,Im going to figure this stuff
28、out,Im going tospend a year,Im going to totally deconstruct shame,我要闯进去,把它弄清楚,我要花一年的时间,彻底瓦解耻辱,05:40Im going to understand how vulnerability works,and Imgoing to outsmart it.我要搞清楚脆弱是怎么运作的,然后我要智取胜过它。05:46So I was ready,and I was really excited.所以我准备好了,非常兴奋。05:51As you know,its not going to turn out we
29、ll.跟你预计的一样,事与愿违。05:56(Laughter)You know this.（笑声）你知道这个（结果）。05:58So,I could tell you a lot about shame,but Id have to borroweveryone elses time.我能告诉你关于耻辱的很多东西,但那样我就得占用别人的时间了。06:03But heres what I can tell you that it boils down to-and thismay be one of the most important things that Ive everlearned i
30、n the decade of doing this research.但我在这儿可以告诉你,归根到底-这也许是我学到的最重要的东西 在从事研究的数十年中。06:07My one year turned into six years:thousands of stories,hundreds of long interviews,focus groups.我预计的一年 变成了六年,成千上万的故事,成百上千个采访,焦点集中。06:16At one point,people were sending me journal pages andsending me their stories-thou
31、sands of pieces of data in sixyears.有时人们发给我期刊报道,发给我他们的故事-不计其数的数据,就在这六年中。06:25deconstruct:vt.解构;拆析 outsmart:vt.比更聪明;用计谋打败 boils:n.生疖,疮(boil复数)And I kind of got a handle on it.我大概掌握了它。06:33I kind of understood,this is what shame is,this is how itworks.我大概理解了这就是耻辱,这就是它的运作方式。06:35I wrote a book,I publis
32、hed a theory,but something was notokay-and what it was is that,if I roughly took the people Iinterviewed and divided them into people who really have asense of worthiness-thats what this comes down to,asense of worthiness-they have a strong sense of love andbelonging-and folks who struggle for it,an
33、d folks who arealways wondering if theyre good enough.我写了本书,我出版了一个理论,但总觉得哪里不对劲-它其实是,如果我粗略地把我采访过的人分成 具有自我价值感的人-说到底就是 自我价值感-他们勇于去爱并且拥有强烈的归属感-另一部分则是为之苦苦挣扎的人,总是怀疑自己是否足够好的人。06:39There was only one variable that separated the people whohave a strong sense of love and belonging and the peoplewho really str
34、uggle for it.区分那些 敢于去爱 并拥有强烈归属感的人 和那些为之而苦苦挣扎的人的变量只有一个。07:07And that was,the people who have a strong sense of loveand belonging believe theyre worthy of love and belonging.那就是,那些敢于去爱 并拥有强烈归属感的人 相信他们值得被爱,值得享有归属感。07:15Thats it.就这么简单。07:22They believe theyre worthy.他们相信自己的价值。07:24And to me,the hard par
35、t of the one thing that keeps us outof connection is our fear that were not worthy of connection,was something that,personally and professionally,而对于我,那个阻碍人与人之间关系的最困难的部分 是我们对于自己不值得享有这种关系的恐惧,无论从个人,还是职业上07:27worthiness:n.值得;相当;有价值 professionally:adv.专业地;内行地I felt like I needed to understand better.我都觉
36、得我有必要去更深入地了解它。07:38So what I did is I took all of the interviews where I sawworthiness,where I saw people living that way,and justlooked at those.所以接下来 我找出所有的采访记录 找出那些体现自我价值的,那些持有这种观念的记录,集中研究它们。07:41What do these people have in common?这群人有什么共同之处？07:52I have a slight office supply addiction,but thats
37、 another talk.我对办公用品有点痴迷,但这是另一个话题了。07:54So I had a manila folder,and I had a Sharpie,and I was like,what am I going to call this research?我有一个牛皮纸文件夹,还有一个三福极好笔,我心想,我该怎么给这项研究命名呢？07:59And the first words that came to my mind were whole-hearted.第一个蹦入我脑子的是 全心全意这个词。08:04These are whole-hearted people,livi
38、ng from this deep senseof worthiness.这是一群全心全意,靠着一种强烈的自我价值感在生活的人们。08:08So I wrote at the top of the manila folder,and I started所以我在牛皮纸夹的上端这样写道,而后我开始查看数据。08:11So I wrote at the top of the manila folder,and I startedlooking at the data.看数据。08:11In fact,I did it first in a four-day very intensive data a
39、nalysis,where I went back,pulled these interviews,pulled the stories,pulled the incidents.事实上,我开始是 用四天时间 集中分析数据,我从头找出那些采访,找出其中的故事和事件。08:16Whats the theme?Whats the pattern?主题是什么？有什么规律？08:26My husband left town with the kids because I always go intothis Jackson Pollock crazy thing,where Im just like
40、writingand in my researcher mode.我丈夫带着孩子离开了小镇,因为我老是陷入像杰克逊.波洛克（美国近代抽象派画家）似的疯狂状态,我一直在写,完全沉浸在研究的状态中。08:29in common:共同的;共有的 folder:n.文件夹;折叠机;折叠式印刷品 Sharpie:n.狡猾的人;骗子;单桅三角帆平底帆船Pollock:n.鳕鱼类And so heres what I found.下面是我的发现。08:40What they had in common was a sense of courage.这些人的共同之处在于 勇气。08:44And I want
41、to separate courage and bravery for you for aminute.我想在这里先花一分钟跟大家区分一下勇气和胆量。08:48Courage,the original definition of courage,when it first cameinto the English language-its from the Latin word cor,meaning heart-and the original definition was to tell thestory of who you are with your whole heart.勇气,最初
42、的定义,当它刚出现在英文里的时候-是从拉丁文cor,意为心,演变过来的-最初的定义是 真心地叙述一个故事,告诉大家你是谁的。08:51And so these folks had,very simply,the courage to beimperfect.所以这些人 就具有勇气 承认自己不完美。09:03They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first andthen to others,because,as it turns out,we cant practicecompassion with other people if w
43、e cant treat ourselveskindly.他们具有同情心,先是对自己的,再是对他人的,因为,事实是,我们如果不能善待自己,我们也无法善待他人。09:10And the last was they had connection,and-this was thehard part-as a result of authenticity,they were willing tolet go of who they thought they should be in order to be whothey were,which you have to absolutely do tha
44、t forconnection.最后一点,他们都能和他人建立关系,-这是很难做到的-前提是他们必须坦诚,他们愿意放开自己设定的那个理想的自我 以换取真正的自我,这是赢得关系的 必要条件。09:21bravery:n.勇敢;勇气 for a minute:一会儿 cor:n.心脏;英国管(等于Englishhorn或tenoroboe)/int.天哪(表惊叹或烦恼)imperfect:adj.有缺点的;未完成的;半过去的;未完成时的/n.未完成体/adv.有瑕疵地;有缺点地 compassion:n.同情；怜悯authenticity:n.真实性,确实性;可靠性The other thing t
45、hat they had in common was this:They fullyembraced vulnerability.他们还有另外一个共同之处 那就是,他们全然接受脆弱。09:40They believed that what made them vulnerable made thembeautiful.他们相信 让他们变得脆弱的东西 也让他们变得美丽。09:52They didnt talk about vulnerability being comfortable,nordid they really talk about it being excruciating-as I
46、 hadheard it earlier in the shame interviewing.他们不认为脆弱 是寻求舒适,也不认为脆弱是钻心的疼痛-正如我之前在关于耻辱的采访中听到的。10:02They just talked about it being necessary.他们只是简单地认为脆弱是必须的。10:11They talked about the willingness to say,I love you first,thewillingness to do something where there are no guarantees,the willingness to br
47、eathe through waiting for the doctor tocall after your mammogram.他们会谈到愿意 说出 我爱你,愿意 做些 没有的事情,愿意 等待医生的电话,在做完乳房X光检查之后。10:15Theyre willing to invest in a relationship that may or may notwork out.他们愿意为情感投资,无论有没有结果。10:35They thought this was fundamental.他们觉得这些都是最根本的。10:41I personally thought it was betray
48、al.我当时认为那是背叛。10:44I could not believe I had pledged allegiance to research,where our job-you know,the definition of research is tocontrol and predict,to study phenomena,for the explicitreason to control and predict.我无法相信 我尽然对科研宣誓效忠-研究的定义是 控制（变量）然后预测,去研究现象,为了一个明确的目标,去控制并预测。10:47embraced:包含/拥抱/接受 vuln
49、erable:adj.易受攻击的，易受的攻击；易受伤害的；有弱点的 guarantees:v.保证(guarantee的第三人称单数)/n.保证,法担保;抵押物(guarantee的复数)mammogram:n.乳房X线照片 betrayal:n.背叛;辜负;暴露 pledged:v.保证;抵押;给予(pledge的过去式及过去分词)allegiance:n.效忠,忠诚;忠贞 explicit:adj.明确的；清楚的；直率的；详述的And now my mission to control and predict had turned upthe answer that the way to
50、live is with vulnerability and tostop controlling and predicting.而我现在的使命 即控制并预测 却给出了这样一个结果:要想与脆弱共存 就得停止控制,停止预测11:01This led to a little breakdown-于是我崩溃了-11:11(Laughter)（笑声）11:14-which actually looked more like this.-其实更像是这样。11:18(Laughter)And it did.（笑声）它确实是。11:21I call it a breakdown;my therapist c