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1、满分写作周周赢应用文写作/读后续写高中英语赢在微点高中英语满分写作周周赢Week 16通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写Wednesday考场作文研析Week 16配套使用满分微练第一部分 10分钟随堂微练16Week 16 通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写高 中 英 语 满 分 写 作 周 周 赢第4页赢在字里行间读后续写满分技巧16恰当衔接过渡在续写过程中,根据所设计的情节中的上下文巧妙衔接过渡。利用恰当的衔接过渡词,如评注性副词gratefully、surprisingly、luckily、fortunately等;利用介词短语,如to on
2、es surprise,to ones joy,in surprise等;利用表并列、转折、因果和序列顺序的单词或短语,如and、but、so、however、on the contrary等;利用代词的替代和承上或启下的省略。Week 16 通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写高 中 英 语 满 分 写 作 周 周 赢第5页赢在字里行间好题探索阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。We were in our late 20s with a child when my husband,Ralph,finally graduated fr
3、om college.“OK,now I deserve a piano,”I blurted out when he sat down for lunch just before the graduation ceremony.A look of surprise crossed his face.“We could never afford a piano.After so many years of hard work,we got you through school.Now I deserve a piano,”I repeated.Several months later,Ralp
4、h,with help,moved the upright piano we bought for$100 into our cottages tiny arched dining room.It smelled a little musty,but had great tone.Ralph started graduate school,leaving no money for private piano lessons.The first thing that came to my mind was Santa Monica City College maybe it offered pi
5、ano lessons.Skimming the catalog,I danced around the room when I found a class at the same time the boys were at preschool.Week 16 通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写高 中 英 语 满 分 写 作 周 周 赢第6页赢在字里行间Practicing,however,was not so easy.(问题出现)Fouryearold redheaded Denny crawled out of bed in the evening on a reg
6、ular basis.That was my time to practice.Hed pad out of the bedroom in his sleeper and climb up on the bench with me.Soon he began plinking (发出叮铃声)on the high keys.I tried to ignore him.He listened to the echoes of the keys and plinked some more.Doing all I could do to keep focused on my own practici
7、ng,I continued to ignore him.This practice pattern became an evening routine.After a while,I didnt even hear him anymore.Ralph studied.Denny plinked on the high keys,and I focused on my piece for the endoftheterm recital(独奏会).That evening came.However,Ralph said he was busy preparing for the midterm
8、s and couldnt watch Denny.(没人看孩子)Pacing back and forth,I shook my head trying to figure out what to do.Time was running out.I bundled up Dennywith his sleeper onand drove off to the recital with him.“Well sit in the front row,Denny,”I whispered.“You have to be very quiet and listen when I am playing
9、.”He nodded,said“Uhhuh.”and we sat down.Week 16 通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写高 中 英 语 满 分 写 作 周 周 赢第7页赢在字里行间注意:1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在以下位置作答。Denny held my hand,but then my turn came.A small body climbed onto the piano bench next to me.(请参考附录一五)Week 16 通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写高 中 英 语 满 分 写 作 周 周 赢第
10、8页赢在字里行间主题链接主主题特点特点比赛/表演收获类常涉及在体育比赛、个人演讲或表演中:如何面对失败,自我反思,实现个人成长;表现尊重对手,收获友谊的体育或团队精神;在同伴或家人的鼓励下取得比赛、表演或演讲等的成功。三步法三步法第一步:比赛场景或失利的场景描写+紧张、兴奋或尴尬情绪;第二步:获得胜利的场面描写+观众的反应;第三步:自豪或失落的情感+个人收获或点题升华。Week 16 通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写高 中 英 语 满 分 写 作 周 周 赢第9页赢在字里行间提分步骤1读原文理基本要素和2线CharacterI,Denny,RalphWhenWhenth
11、e evening for my recitalWhereWhererecital hallWhat“我”辛苦工作多年,终于在快30岁时,买了一架钢琴。但“我”的钢琴学习之路并不顺利,丈夫Ralph没空看孩子,练琴期间,丹尼常在高音键上弹奏。后来“我”带着丹尼一起参加期末独奏会。2情情线情节线:拉尔夫毕业“我”和他提出买钢琴买好钢琴没钱请私教只得上免费钢琴课儿子丹尼总在“我”练习时在高音键弹奏演出当晚丈夫不能照顾丹尼,带丹尼参加独奏会(续写)丹尼抓着“我”的手,但轮到“我”了;一个小小的身体爬上了琴凳,坐在“我”身边情感线:I:(blurted out,repeated)渴望、坚持(dance
12、d)高兴(ignored,focused)忽略,专心(pacing back and forth)担忧,焦虑Week 16 通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写高 中 英 语 满 分 写 作 周 周 赢第10页赢在字里行间提分步骤2思续写情节“以旧带新”2原则(421原则4衔接、2情线、1主题;ARE原则action、response、emotion)两段首句两段首句定一框定一框衔接:开头句衔接首句中的“丹尼握着我的手,但接下来轮到我了”可写“我”交代、安置好丹尼并上台。过渡句:“我”坐在钢琴前的心理活动和表现渐入佳境、顺利表演。衔接:尾句衔接第二段首句中的“一个小小的身体
13、爬上了钢琴凳”可写“我”注意到了什么?或从观众的反应这一角度写发生了什么不寻常的事?二框二首二框二首1主主题衔接:开头句衔接首句中的“爬上我身边的琴凳”可写是丹尼爬上琴凳,“我”的反应?(吃惊但继续弹奏)过渡句:丹尼在高音键开始弹奏母子顺利演奏完曲子衔接:尾句呼应原文中的the endoftheterm recital:动态场景结尾,完成独奏(观众的掌声)1主题:company and love情感情感线镇定投入惊讶高兴释然激动Week 16 通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写高 中 英 语 满 分 写 作 周 周 赢第11页赢在字里行间提分步骤3思伏笔添细节原续更融洽捕
14、捉原文所设伏笔,充盈过渡句细节并合理衔接,以使续写段落在逻辑和内容上更符合原文基调。原文伏笔点原文伏笔点过渡句中可与伏笔渡句中可与伏笔衔接的接的细节Para.10Well sit in the front row.You have to be very quiet and listen when I am playing.续写第一段可描写“我”的肢体动作和语言,“我”安置并交代丹尼坐下保持安静。Para.6.Doing all I could do to keep focused on my own practicing续写第二段可写“我”忽视爬上凳子的丹尼,继续专心弹奏。Para.6Soon
15、 he began plinking(发出叮铃声)on the high keys.Para.7This practice pattern became an evening routine.续写第二段描写丹尼在高音键弹奏,让“我”感觉又是每晚的例行练习模式。Week 16 通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写高 中 英 语 满 分 写 作 周 周 赢第12页赢在字里行间提分步骤4沿原文特点写3好表达(准确、丰富、地道)原文语言丰富、地道,如“无灵”主语句描写情感和心理活动(原文)。同时运用大量描写具体动作的词语,例如,在描写Denny打扰“我”练琴时,运用crawled
16、out of bed、pad out of、climb up on the bench with me、began plinking等短语(原文),生动地刻画了一个要粘着妈妈,又对钢琴充满好奇的小家伙捣乱的画面。续写时应借鉴和仿效,这样才能与原文语言风格保持一致。Week 16 通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写高 中 英 语 满 分 写 作 周 周 赢第13页赢在字里行间仿效临摹 满分手写体 Handwriting also counts!Week 16 通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写高 中 英 语 满 分 写 作 周 周 赢第14页赢在字里行
17、间Week 16 通知通知&比赛比赛/表演收获类读后续写表演收获类读后续写高 中 英 语 满 分 写 作 周 周 赢第15页赢在字里行间范文Denny held my hand,but then my turn came.I pointed to the piano,saying to him,“Honey,you see the piano?Mom will be there plinking like you did at home,you stay here listening all right?”and then loosened his hands.Having settled h
18、im in the audience seat,I turned around to the stage,stepped towards the piano determinedly,and finally seated myself in front of the piano.“It smells good,”I pondered.Along with the first note of the music,I began my show.However,it was not long before whispers pulled me back to the earth,which mea
19、nt something unusual had happened.A small body climbed onto the piano bench next to me.It was Denny!His eyes widened with wonder and excitement,and he wanted to plink along with me.I hesitated for a moment,unsure of what to do.But Dennys small fingers began to find the high keys,adding the plinking
20、into the piece.I felt like I was on the evening routine as usual.Then I kept focused on my notes.Together we accomplished the last note,and there was a sea of thunderous applause.Embracing my beloved son tightly,I swore that I would not ignore him anymore.It was no longer a Mom and a son but a dream chaser and her companion on the stage.