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1、阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇 完整的短文。After filling out sixty applications, going through three interviews, and winning just one offer, I took what I could get; toteach in a remote area inwestern New Jersey. I kept reminding myself that I could do what I had always dreamed of doing since I was fourt
2、een: teaching English.At the school, I worked very hard, only taking time off toeat and sleep. I got along very well with my students who were only seven or eight years younger than me.But I had a problem long before I knew it. I was struggling in my work as a young idealistic teacher. I wanted to m
3、ake literature come alive and to promote a love for the written words, while the students preferred tothrow paper planes and whisper dirty words in the back of the room.In college, I had been taught that a successful educator should ignore students1 bad behavior. So I didjeeling confident that, as t
4、he textbooks had said, the bad behavior would disappear as I gave my students positive attention. It sounded reasonable, but那么该怎么体现呢？我借用经典的智慧。经典中，如果弟子问老师一个问题，有时候老师不会直接给出答案，而 是给出一个例子/故事/情境让学生代入其中体会。此处我设计校长并不直接指责“我的不足，而是在谈话同时播放一场橄 榄球赛，然后和我正常聊天。这也是为什么校长看到我分心并不生气， 因为这正在他预料之中。当“我”被球赛吸引，不自觉分心的时候，顺势 点化。“我”
5、听完校长的话则恍然大悟。因为在“我”的课堂中学习的学生正如坐 在校长办公室的“我”一般，不由自主就会被教室里的各种混乱所吸引， 根本无法集中精力，自然老师讲的再天花乱坠都无济于事。借助这样的设计，一个有管理艺术的校长形象跃然纸上。the textbooks evidently ignored the fact that humans, particularly teenagers, rarely seem reasonable.By the time the principal, who was always ready to fire bad teachers, came into the
6、classroom to observe my class, the students exhibited very little good behavior. After he settled down in the back of the room, the boys in the class were still making animal noises, hitting each other and the girls filedtheir nails or read magazines.I just pretended nothing wrong was happening. I w
7、ent on lecturing and tried to ask some inspiring questions. The principal seemed to be growing more and more annoyed. After twenty minutes, he left, silently. Visions of unemployment marched before my eyes. I only felt mildly comforted that I powered through the rest of the class without crying.Para
8、graphl : After class, I was asked to see him.Paragraph? :I made up my mind to make a change.参考答案:Paragraph 1: After class, I was asked to see him.Giving the classroom a lingering look, I then walked past the long, dark corridor toward my doom. His door was unlocked and strangely enough, when I walke
9、d in, a football game was playing. After I was seated on the sofa, the principal and I started to talk. I tried to focus on his questions. But at one moment, so enthralled was I by a touchdown that I completely lost track of our conversation. Upon realization, I apologized to the principal immediate
10、ly. He wasnt mad. Instead, he spoke gently, Don worry. I am the one who allowed the game to play. His words struck me like lightning.Paragraph 2:1 made up my mind to make a change.Before each lesson, I would set an attainable goal. If the class cooperated well and hit the learning target, we would e
11、njoy the rest of the lesson by playing an engaging literature related game. Every day, I would gather feedback from pupils to improve my designs. And the result was amazing. Slowly but surely, students grew to appreciate the beauty of the written words. And the classroom was always full of joy but n
12、ever out of order. One day, the principal paid us another visit and I knew I had done it when he left the room with a smile.在高中及以下阶段，学生的自制力培养不足（多方原因），如果老师自 顾自lecture,而不关注教室里学生的动态，最终无非是感动自己，浪费 时间。这也正是本篇续写主人公所面临的困境。他/她既想学生爱上文学，要成绩，但课上又“无为而治”，期待学生“自明”, 最终导致校长前来听课，眉头紧锁，最后无声离去。那么接下来会发生什么？逐句分析Paragraph 1:
13、 After class, I was asked to see him.（首段剧情根据第一、二段提示语决定。第一句说，“课后，我被请去见校长。”第二句说，“我下定决心要改变。”从这两句话，我们可以推出两个关键信息校长找“我”并非以解雇为 目的，这场谈话促使“我”决心改变。那么第一段的续写主要回答一个问题：校长是如何与“我”谈话，以致“我” 明白自己问题所在的呢？这段续写的精彩之处就在于校长谈话的“艺术”。没错，是“艺术”。校长和新教师谈话，与班主任训学生不一样。过于直言不讳固然有其益处，但可能损害教师自尊，使其丧失信心。从第二段提示语来看，这场谈话当时促使“我”反省了自己，同时又增强 了“我
14、”的决心。那么这场谈话将会如何展开？校长的形象又应该如何塑造？答案马上揭 晓。下面进入分句精析。）Giving the classroom a lingering look, I then walked past the long, dark corridor toward my doom.（结合原文提示，“the principal, who was always ready to fire bad teachers 校长总是做好准备去炒掉糟糕的老师”，“Visions of unemployment marched before my eyes.失业的景象涌在我眼前”，当“我,听到校长要找
15、我 谈话，心中必然觉得穷途已至。故而我设计了如下画面，在“我”离开教室前，不舍地看了它一眼。紧接 着，“我”迈步离开，穿过长长的、昏暗的走廊，迎向我的劫数。这句话的语言有三处巧妙的设计：1. Lingering （牛津：slow to end or disappear）.为什么此处用lingering呢？原文这样说，what I had always dreamed of doing since I was fourteen: teaching English.成为一名英语教师是我从 小到达的梦想，在“我”心中，此时将要与讲台告别，心中充满不舍合情 合理。2. Long dark corrid
16、or.以景衬情是我惯用的写作技巧。如在太阳无情地向 西移去中，the sun moved mercilessly westwards；在无用的眼泪，无声的 鞭挞中，useless tears dripping on the floor.太阳和眼泪都被被投射了人的 情感。此时主角向校长办公室走去，其恐惧和绝望被融入到环境描写中，连走 廊都显得昏暗悠长。暗淡的是走廊吗？是主角的前途。3. Doom.作者此时抱着被辞退的心态向校长办公室走去。但与其平庸地 用一个 principals office, doom（牛津：death or destruction; any terrible event t
17、hat you cannot avoid死亡；毁灭；厄运；劫数）的使用更精妙地体现了 作者的心理，给读者更强的震撼和阅读沉浸感。）His door was unlocked and strangely enough, when I walked in, a football game was playing.（走到近前，校长门未锁。（此时如果想追求语言清新，his door was left ajar 亦可。）进入后，很奇怪的是，一场橄榄球比赛正在播放Strangely enough = surprising but true.体现出作者的,惊诧。原文提到作者到New Jersey新泽西州任职
18、，因此football指橄榄球，并 为后文的剧情做出铺垫。）After I was seated on the sofa, the principal and I started to talk.（seated用词精到。Seat 作及物动词意为：to give sb a place to sit; to sit down in a place向 提供座位；（使）就座；坐；落座。此处主角到校长办公室，应该有局促不安的感觉，因此校长会为其安排 座位符合逻辑。）I tried to focus on his questions.（对于美国的national sport,近来多有争论。Basketba
19、ll （职业联赛 NBA）, baseball （职业联赛 MLB）, football （职业联赛 NFL）三大球类均有极广泛的群众基础。其中以basketball的国际影响力 为最，但football在美国国内影响力甚至尤有过之。超级碗中场秀又被戏 称为“美国春晚”，一场比赛能吸引上亿人观看直播。此处我选择激烈的橄榄球运动作为谈话背景，作者自然会受其影响，但 此时又是攸关职业生涯的谈话，更需专心。一句话体现出主角的挣扎，同时为下文做铺垫。）But at one moment, so enthralled was I by a touchdown that I completely lost
20、 track of our conversation.（“我”尽管努力保持注意力集中，但比赛进行到关键时刻的“触地得分” 还是让“我”完全被吸引。结果自然“我”已经忘了说到哪里。这句话非常关键，后面解读。）Upon realization, I apologized to the principal immediately.（如此重要的场合“我”却分心，实在失礼。因而，一意识到这点，便开 始道歉。作者哪里想得至以也/他的分心正是校长心中所料、所期。）He wasnt mad. Instead, he spoke gently, Dont worry. I am the one who allo
21、wed the game to play.”（本来就觉得自己快被炒了，此时又分心看球，主角心里肯定充满苦涩。他/她预期校长要生气了，但恰恰相反，校长很平静。他温和的说了一句话，“别担心，是我放着比赛不管的。”）His words struck me like lightning.（他的话于“我”如一道闪电。如果说续写第一段我布满了伏笔，那么这一句就是串起所有线索的线。但这句话到底什么意思？首先，我们来分析字面意思。it strikes me 是一个惯用的习语，Merriam-Webster一used to say that oneunderstands or is aware of somet
22、hing.指人突然理解/意识至lj某事。当结合 lightning 使用时，这样理解：The phrase “his words struck me like lightning is an idiom that means that someones words had a powerful and sudden effect on the listener, much like a bolt of lightning would have.“他的话像闪电一样击中我”这句话是一个成语，意思是某人的话对听众产生了 强大而突然的影响，就像闪电一样。那为什么上面校长的话如闪电般击中主角呢？这涉及到
23、校长的人物形象塑造。在本次续写评卷中，有许多人设计的首段情节是“校长把“我”痛斥一顿，说“如果下次还这样，你就走人吧。”为什么这样的设计不好呢？有双重原因一、这样写容易千篇一律，很难出彩。二、这样设计不符合人物真善美的准则，无法体现出校长这个人物的复 杂性。在之前的一篇续写精析madam leong的人性复杂之美中，我可以在第二段扭转了孩子们对madam leong的看法。当孩子们真正接触到madam leong时，才发现她博大的胸襟。这篇续写中，很多人对校长人物性格的理解来自于原文的三句话，“By thetime the principal, who was always ready to
24、fire bad teachers, came into the classroom to observe my class. ”“The principal seemed to be growing more and more annoyed. After twenty minutes, he left, silently.”大家注意到校长总是准备炒老师，校长越来越恼火，最后没听完课就悄然离去。所以大家勾勒了一个脾气很爆的校长。如果按照这样的理解去描写校长，我们只能得到一个刻板的、负面的人物。相反，我们应该注意到原文中用了 fire bad teachers中的bad,其实校长只是炒了很糟糕的教师，故而他不会无缘无故炒人。因此我在此处决定设计一个讲理的、高妙的，能让人印象深刻，受到启发的上位者形象，与刻板划清界限，让故事脱颖而出。这个形象塑造的关键就是“体现出校长谈话的艺术，