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1、 高三二轮读后续写下水作文讲义阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。The first time we set eyes on “BigRed”, father, mother and I were on our way home. As we passed the Eatonsdepartment stores window, we stopped as usual to have a look and do a bit ofdreaming.The beautifully decorated windowdisplay held the best toy
2、s ever. There were dolls much too pretty to play with.And they all lay beneath a surprisingly fantastic dress. Mothers eyes wereglued to its shining red satin（缎子）.“My goodness,” she whispered. “Look, atthat!” Then, mother looked down at her own coat -she had worn the heavy greywool coat every winter
3、 for as long as I could remember. Mom was forever doingchores-washing laundry, tending the pigs and working in the garden-so shealways wore housedresses and an apron （围裙） to protect the front. She did have one or two “special”dresses saved for church on Sundays. Also, she managed to make almost all
4、ofour clothes. They werent fancy, but they were comfortable.“What a silly dress!” She shook herhead. “Who on earth would want such a big dress?” As we continued down thestreet, mother turned her head for one more look. “My goodness! Youd thinktheyd display something a person could use!”Mothers Day w
5、as nearing, and the reddress was soon forgotten. Mother, of all people, was not one to spend money onitems that were not practical. “There are things we need more than this.” Shedalways say. Choosing a gift for Mothers Day for her was quite hard. When Dadand I asked, she thought carefully then asked
6、 for some tea towels, face clothsor a new basin.On our last trip to town beforeMothers Day, we were driving up Main Street when Mother suddenly shouted insurprise: “Look!” She pointed excitedly as Dad drove past Eatons. “That bigred dress is gone,” she said in disbelief. “Whod be fool enough to buy
7、such adress?” Mother questioned， shaking her head. I was almost certain that I noticed a traceof longing（一丝渴望）in her voice.注意：1续写词数应为150左右；2请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。On the morning of Mothers Day, Mother gota large box that read “Eatons Finest Basin” on its wrapping paper.“Oh Frank.”She choked up and couldn
8、tsay a word, tears welling up in her eyes.文章大意：这是一篇典型的描写家庭关系的记叙文。作者“我”从家中的孩子的视角（第一人称叙事），讲述了爸爸为勤劳俭朴的妈妈悄悄购买她喜欢的红色连衣裙，并当作母亲节礼物送给她的家庭生活故事。文本分析：1. 确定故事结局： 幸福感人的结局2. 确定主要人物：妈妈和爸爸3. 确定写作视角：“我” 家中的孩子（事件的经历者）语言积累：急切打开礼物She eagerly unwrapped the box and opened it.惊讶To her surprise, it was not abasin, but the
9、beautifulred dressshe had admired in theEatons department storewindow.She gasped, speechless, running her fingers over the softsatinfabric.I cant believe it! Mom exclaimed.我和爸爸的祝贺Dadwinked at me,（爸爸的小表情）and I knew that he had gone to great lengths to get this dress forMom. Happy Mothers Day my darli
10、ng Dad said, giving her a kiss.妈妈感动Mom was speechless and I noticed that her eyes were filled with tears of joy.妈妈的感谢Mom hugged Dad tightly, and I saw tears streaming down her cheeks. Thank you, Frank, she whispered. Youre the best husband and father in the world.结尾句I realized that this was the best
11、 gift Mom had ever received. And with that, we all hugged, basking in the warmth of our familys love.范文：On the morning of Mothers Day, Mother gota large box that read “Eatons Finest Basin” on its wrapping paper.Oh Frank, she praised, just what I wanted! Dad was sitting in his rocker, a huge grin on
12、his face.Only a fool wouldnt give a priceless wife like mine exactly what she wants forMothers Day, he laughed. Go ahead, open it up and make sure there are no chips. Dad winked at me, confirming his secret, and my heart filled with more love for my father than I thought it could hold!Mother opened
13、the box to find a big white enamel dishpan - overflowing with crimson satin that spilled out across her lap. With trembling hands she touched the elegant material of Big Red.“Oh Frank.”She choked up and couldntsay a word, tears welling up in her eyes.Her face was as bright as the star that twinkled
14、on our tree in the corner of the small room. You shouldnt have . . . came her faint attempt at scolding.Oh now, never mind that! Dad said. Lets see if it fits, he laughed, helping her slip the marvellous dress over her shoulders. As the shimmering red satin fell around her, it gracefully hid the pat
15、ched and faded floral house dress underneath.I watched, my mouth agape, captivated by a radiance in my parents I had never noticed before. As they waltzed around the room, Big Red swirled its magic deep into my heart.You look beautiful, my dad whispered to my mom - and she surely did!续写原文&细节分析 I was
16、 invited to a cookout on an old friends farm in western Washington. I parked my car outside the farm and walked past a milking house which had apparently not been used in many years. A noise at a window caught my attention, so I entered it. It was a hummingbird (蜂鸟), desperately trying to escape. Sh
17、e was covered in spider-webs (蛛网) and was barely able to move her wings. She ceased her struggle the instant I picked her up. With the bird in my cupped hand, I looked around to see how she had gotten in. The broken window glass was the likely answer. I stuffed a piece of cloth into the hole and too
18、k her outside, closing the door securely behind me.细节分析1：main plot:我去好友的农场野炊，路遇一只误入牛奶房然后被蛛网困住的蜂鸟，我救了她。main characters:I, the hummingbird (she), my old friendswhere:my oldfriends farm in west Washington, a milking house with a broken window glassThe character of “I”:细心，有爱心 When I opened my hand, the
19、bird did not fly away; she sat looking at me with her bright eyes. I removed the sticky spider-webs that covered her head and wings. Still, she made no attempt to fly. Perhaps she had been struggling against the window too long and was too tired? Or too thirsty? As I carried her up the blackberry-li
20、ned path toward my car where I kept a water bottle, she began to move. I stopped, and she soon took wing but did not immediately fly away. Hovering (悬停), she approached within six inches of my face. For a very long moment, this tiny creature looked into my eyes, turning her head from side to side. T
21、hen she flew quickly out of sight.细节分析2：main plot:我救出蜂鸟后，她没有立刻飞走，而是停留了一会儿，仔细地看了我一会儿Why didnt the bird fly immediately?惊魂稍定; 记住“我”的样子，好好道别，可能还会再来找“我”，感谢“我”The character of the hummingbird:聪明，通人性，感恩Place & Time:The blackberry-lined path, summer During the cookout, I told my hosts about the hummingbird
22、 incident. They promised to fix the window. As I was departing, my friends walked me to my car. I was standing by the car when a hummingbird flew to the center of our group and began hovering. She turned from person to person until she came to me. She again looked directly into my eyes, then let out
23、 a squeaking call and was gone. For a moment, all were speechless. Then someone said, “She must have come to say goodbye.”细节分析3：main plot:主人答应修好窗户，“我”离开的时候蜂鸟再出现Why did the hummingbird fly to find me?She must have come to say goodbye.Paragraph 1: A few weeks later, I went to the farm again.Paragraph
24、2: I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared.基于上文、细节分析和段首句，回答下列问题：Q1: What might “I” do the second time “I” went to the farm?A1: To cookout and talk with “my” old friendsQ2: Why did the hummingbird appear again? What might happen?A2: She may fly to thank me and interact with me.Q3: Wha
25、t details in the passage might be echoed in the continuous writing?A3: Whether the broken window was fixed, the detailed places and time2审题WHEN:Summer, in the daytimeWHERE:the milking house, the blackberry-lined path, the farmWHAT:“我”救了被蛛网困住的蜂鸟，蜂鸟感谢“我”TOPIC:人与自然主题语境人帮助小动物，小动物感恩；人和小动物之间的友谊CONFLICT（待解
26、决的问题）:破窗是否修好了；“我”和蜂鸟的故事怎么继续整理原文中关于蜂鸟的细节描写：出场：It was a hummingbird (蜂鸟), desperately trying to escape. She was covered in spider-webs (蛛网) and was barely able tomove her wings.互动：She satlooking at me with her bright eyes.Hovering (悬停), she approached within six inches of my face. This tiny creaturelo
27、oked into my eyes, turning her head from side to side. A hummingbird flew to the center of our group andbegan hovering. She againlooked directly into my eyes, thenlet out a squeaking calland was gone.(注意看标粗重复出现的表达)3情节框架构建（不唯一）Paragraph 1: A few weeks later, I went to the farm again.【I】又路过milking hou
28、se，看到broken window已经被修好了【I】安心地去和朋友们cookout，朋友们提到蜂鸟最近每天都飞来，好像在找我【I】听到的反应，但cookout结束了，我准备离开时蜂鸟却还没出现Paragraph 2: I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared.【hummingbird】出场的描写【I】的反应：开心，感动，和蜂鸟互动，蜂鸟表达感谢【点题】升华主旨：人和自然界小动物的缘分和感情由于篇幅有限，以上分析完文章后，以下重点和大家分享续写第二段中蜂鸟出场的描写和“我”与蜂鸟的互动。【Hummingbird】出场的描写中
29、文句子：伴随着越来越近的翅膀煽动的嗡嗡声，我意识到她来了！我抬头一看，她悬停在我的前方。英文表达：听觉+视觉：蜂鸟的嗡嗡声+蜂鸟的眼睛1. Witha familiar buzzing sound声音approaching, I realized it was her! Looking up, Isaw a small figure视觉hovering in the air原文表达whosebright eyes原文表达were fixed on my face.2. Apparently, the familiar and approaching buzzing sound announce
30、d her appearance. The moment I looked up, a small figureleaped to the eye映入眼帘.The bright eyes!原文表达It was her!听觉+视觉：蜂鸟煽动翅膀的声音+蜂鸟的眼睛3. Hearingthe fluttering煽动 of wings声音, I looked up to see my lovely little friendhovering原文表达near me with hereyes, as bright as before原文表达, fixed on me. She was so small
31、and delicate, yet full of life and energy.触觉+听觉+视觉：风吹过+蜂鸟吱吱叫的声音+蜂鸟俯冲过来停在树枝上4. I felta gust of wind一阵风before a familiar and merry愉快的squeaking call原文表达came into my ears. It was her! No sooner had I raised up my head than a tiny creatureswooped俯冲towards meandlanded on a twig树枝just an inch before me.【I】
32、和蜂鸟互动描写场景一：蜂鸟衔了东西回来，和我表达感谢中文句子1：我一看见她就忍不住笑起来。她在我的肩膀上停下，口中衔着一朵茉莉花，我伸出手，她轻轻地把花放在我手心，然后用头蹭了蹭我的脖子，高兴地叫了一声，飞走了。英文表达1：外貌（颜色、形状、标志性器官）+动作（小孩般撒娇的）+特有声音1. I couldnt resist smiling at the sight of her, marveling at惊叹her tiny body and the iridescent green荧光绿of her feather.She landed on my shoulderwith jasmine茉
33、莉花in her beak喙.I reached out and shedroppedher thank-you gift in my palm tenderly, thenrubbed蹭her head against my neck. “Good girl, nice to see you again,” I said, stroking轻抚her gently. As if understanding my words, she let out a high-pitched声调高的 chirp叽喳声as a response, thenwhirred呼呼作声地飞 away.场景二：蜂鸟没
34、衔东西回来，和我表达感谢中文句子2：我伸出手，她停在我的手指上。她用同样闪闪发光的眼神看我。我们看着彼此，我感到了我们之间的联系。英文表达2：和动物互动：安静版对视、感受双方的连接；活动版聊天、拥抱、抚摸1. Out of ecstasy狂喜, I reached out my finger for her to rest when my tiny friendstudied仔细看me with the same sparkling and pleasant eyes.For a moment, we simply stared at each other,enjoying the quiet
35、 connection.总结积累的语料有限时，怎么“糊弄”动物描写？找原文！把原文关于这个动物的细节描写找出来，灵活地运用到自己的写作中。语料积累足够，但怎么把动物写得栩栩如生人见人爱？1. 把动物当小朋友写，把小朋友的一些特征行为安排到动物身上。如贪吃、爱撒娇、信任人、傻乎乎地乐呵，但是注意，重点是要搭配ta们美好善良的品质。2. 从“五感”的角度写。视觉角度写动物的外貌、听觉角度写动物特有的声音、触觉角度写和动物的拥抱抚摸互动等。下水作文： A few weeks later, I went to the farm again.Having parked my car, I walked
36、straight to the deserted milking house and noticed the broken window was newly fixed. Peering in, luckily, I didnt come across one more misguided hummingbird. After the “safety check”, it was the cookout time. With the smell of roasted food wafting in the air, my friends and I chatted agreeably. “An
37、d guess what?” the hosts said, “A hummingbird flies over here every day. Maybe its your old friend!” Surprised and moved, I hoped inwardly to see my little friend once again. But until my friends walked to my car, she still hadnt appeared. 99词 I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared.
38、Apparently, the familiar buzzing sound announced her appearance. The moment I looked up, I saw bright eyes. It was her! I couldnt help but beam at the sight of my tiny friend, who perched on my shoulder with jasmine in her beak. “Your thank-you gift?” I asked in a soft tone while reaching out to receive it. As if understanding my question, she let out a high-pitched squeak and rubbed her head against my jaw. “What a miracle!” someone exclaimed, “A small act of kindness built a profound bond between human beings and animals.” 94词学科网（北京）股份有限公司