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1、312嫉妒你们都觉得这双鞋很丑吗？对别担心，没有人会注意的只要你穿着那件浴巾装你跟他说吧这是她履新职的第一天你不该一早就开她玩笑好吧，我可以等到晚上再说 你星期五有节目吗？干嘛？你得来参加我的怪堂哥艾勃特的告别单身派对你知道，他是植物学家老天植物学家都神神经经的那是恐龙领带吗？早安瑞秋，我拿皮包来了找钥匙就要找老半天吧谢谢，菲比不客气，拜托你用这个乌龟包包不，乌龟让我害怕今天尤其不是时候亲爱的，别紧张，没问题的 我过来跟你一起吃午饭吧？ 谢了，但马克要带我去吃饭 马克?就是那个帮你找工作的马克? 对，算是祝我工作顺利那是午餐盒吗？不，是皮包里面还有个热水瓶你星期五能来吗？什么？我想可以吧可是你
2、为什么要请我呢？显然艾勃特没有朋友他对告别单身派对充满期待 我想他是为了看脱衣舞娘 才结婚的请脱衣舞娘参加告别单身派对 你们真是老套为什么不请魔术师？312 The One With All The JealousyScene: Monica and Rachels, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.Rachel: (running in from her bedroom, wearing only a towel) Okay. Hey. Umm. Does everybody hate these shoes?Chandler: Oh ye
3、ah, but dont worry. I dont think anybodys gonna focus on that as long as your wearing that towel dress.Rachel: (to Ross) Tell him.Ross: (to Chandler) Its her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday
4、? Ross: Why?Chandler: I need you to e to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, yknow hes the botanist.Ross: Oh God. Yknow, botanists are such geeks.Chandler: Yeah. Is that a dinosaur tie?Ross: Hmm? Oh, yeah, (he makes a growling sound)Phoebe: (entering, with about 20 purses hanging around
5、her neck) Morning. Rach, Im here with the purses!Chandler: (to Phoebe) It must take you forever to find your keys.Rachel: (running into the living room) Thank you, thank you, thank you, Pheebs.Phoebe: Your wele, oh please not the one with the turtles.Rachel: No, no, no, no turtles scare me. I dont n
6、eed that today.Ross: Honey, just relax, its gonna be fine. Hey, umm,. why dont I e down there and CH take you out to lunch?Rachel: Oh honey, thank you, but Marks taking me out.Ross: Mark is that ah, the same Mark that helped you get the job?Rachel: Yeah, its kinda like a good luck on your first day
7、sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?Phoebe: Umm, no, its a purse. And theres a thermos in it.Rachel: Oh.Chandler: (to Ross) Hey, so can you make it on Friday?Ross: What? Oh yeah, yeah I think so. Why am I invited to this again?Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. Hes v
8、ery excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason hes getting married is so he can see a stripper.Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich? Why dont you get a magician?!Chandler: Well, if the magician can open my beer with his but cheeks, then all right.Op
9、ening CreditsScene: Chandler and Joeys, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.Ross: Shes having lunch with him. Shes having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) hes really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic t
10、humbs up) What am I gonna do?人们对脱衣舞娘都有某种看法，你知道我也爱你再见干嘛？这个吻可以让他回味好几个小时 否则，你刚煽起他的火来 反而便宜了脱衣舞娘胡利欧在这里吗？我就是胡利欧你非常自以为是以为自己好得不得了你的诗都没出版你在餐厅工作你不是上帝对女人的恩赐这只是你自以为是你只是个马屁精 没人喜欢马屁精 你的床上工夫也很烂如果魔术师可以用臀部给我开啤酒，那就行 她要跟她吃午饭？ 跟他吃午饭？你该看看她被录取时是怎么拥抱他的而且他相貌堂堂我该怎么办？放在心里学着隐藏你的感情不要大呼小叫 猜猜谁得到了 百老汇音乐剧的试演机会？ 我本来要说是你不过这个答案好像太容易了
11、 就是我这是音乐剧版的双城记 我想我要唱纽约，纽约 和我把心留在旧金山 乔伊，我想轮不到你来挑城市 什么？这是狄更斯先生的权利谁？我拿克里夫手集给你什么？简易文学读本什么？型号发货号码和出货日期很好，有问题吗？我们有多少折扣？八折我爱死这份工作了我的第一通来，让我代劳瑞秋葛林，需要我效劳吗？ 嗨，瑞秋在吗？请问是哪一位？我是罗斯哪位罗斯？罗斯和瑞秋的罗斯嗨，我是马克嗨，马克嗨等一下好Chandler: Dont do anything. Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings! (pause) Dont cry outloud.Joey:
12、 (hanging up the phone) Yes! Guess whos in an audition for a Broadway musical?Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.Joey: It is me! Its a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think Im gonna sing New York, New York, and ah, oh / left My Heart in San Francisco.Ros
13、s: Ah Joey, I dont think you get to pick the cities.Joey: What?Ross: Mr. Dickens gets to pick em.Joey: Who?Chandler: ril get you the Cliff Notes.Joey: The what?Chandler: The abridgment.Joey: Oh, okay. (to Ross) The what?Scene: Rachels office, Mark is training Rachel.Mark: .and the style number, and
14、the invoice number; and the shipping date.Good. Any questions so far?Rachel: Yeah. What kind of discount do we get?Mark: Twenty percent.Rachel: Oh! I love this job! (her phone rings) Wow! My first call.Mark: Here, let me. (answers phone) Rachel Greens line, how may I help you?Ross: (on phone) Hi, is
15、 Rachel there?Mark: And who may I say is calling?Ross: This is Ross?Mark: Ross of.Ross: Of Ross and Rachel.Mark: Oh hi. Its, its Mark.Ross: Oh hey, hey Mark.Mark: Hey, hold on a second.Ross: Okay.Rachel: Hi honey!Ross: Hi! Whats ah, whats Mark doing answering your phone?Rachel: Oh, hes just goofing
16、around.Ross: Ohhhhh yeah, thats, thats funny. Why ah, why isnt he goofing around in his own office?Rachel: Oh honey, this is his office too. I told you were Joannas two assistants.Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?Rachel: Oh! Oh my God! What did I just do?Ross: What?Rac
17、hel: I think I just shipped 3,000 bras to personnel. Oh honey, I gotta go. (to Mark) Mark, I need you!Ross: Okay, bye-bye. (starts slamming the receiver down in anger.)Rachel: Ow! Ross!Ross: Oh, oh, Im, Im, Im sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, Im dialing another number. (hangs up)Scene: The Mo
18、ondance diner, Monica is cleaning up with one of the waiters, with her back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig.Jeannine: (to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. Youd better go for it.Monica: Please, Im not going f
19、or anything.Jeannine: Well, if you dont, I will.Monica: Would you please go?Jeannine: Night Mon. Night Julio.Julio: (to Jeannine) Adios.(Monica starts wiping down the stools, as Julio follows along behind her replacing the napkin holders.)Monica: Look Julio, someone left their book here.Julio: Ah ac
20、tually, that is mine.Monica: Oh yeah, what are you reading?Julio: Flowers of Evil, by Beaudalire. Have you read it?Monica: Have I read it? (pause) No, are you enjoying it?Julio: I thought I would, but the translations no good.Monica: Your a poet and dont know it. (she turns away and makes a face lik
21、e I cant believe I just said that.)Julio: Actually I ah, I am a poet.Monica: Oh, then you do know it. (pause) So um what kind of things do you write about?Julio: Things that move me. The, the shadow of a tree, a child laughing, or this lip. (points to her lip)Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip)
22、Right here?Julio: I can write an epic poem about this lip. (grabs her lower lip)Monica: How would that go? (they kiss) Well, it didnt rhyme, but I liked it.Scene: Joeys audition.Joey: (singing) Youve got to pick a pocket or two. Boyyyyssss, (picks a handkerchief from the pianists pocket) youve got t
23、o pick a pocket or twoDirector: Lovely, just lovely.Joey: Really? Thanks.Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.Joey: Excellent, Ill be there.Director: Okay, and listen don*t forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.Joey: Ahhh! My ah, my agent
24、 said it wasnt a dancing part.Director: Joey/ all the roles got to dance a little. But believe me with your dance background it*ll be a piece of cake.Scene: Chandler and Joeys, Chandler is reading Joeys resume.Chandler: .three years of modern dance with Twila Tharp! Five years with the American Ball
25、et Theater?!Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasnt one of the Zoom Kids either.嗨，亲爱的马克怎么会替你接 ？ 他只是在瞎混罢了 有意思他干嘛不在自己 办公室瞎混？ 这里就是他办公室，我说过 我们是乔安娜的两个助理 乔安娜为什么需要两个助理？ 她很懒吗？我的天，我做了什么？ 我刚把三千副胸罩 送到人事部去了 我要挂 了 马克，我需要你 好，再见对不起，甜心，我只是要 我只是要打 下一个我30秒钟换好衣服 就是让你跟他独处 你最好赶快展开攻势 我不要展开什么攻势 你不要的话，我要 拜
26、托你走吧？ 晚安，摩妮卡 晚安，胡利欧胡利欧，有人把书忘在这里了 老实说，那是我的书 你在看什么书？ 波特莱尔的恶之花 你看过没有？ 我看过没有？ 没有，你喜欢吗？ 我本来以为我会喜欢 不过翻译得不好 你是诗人，居然不懂 其实我 我是诗人 那你一定懂了你都写些什么？写一些让我感动的事物婆娑树影 童稚笑容 或这片嘴唇Phoebe: Well, can you dance at all?Joey: Yeah, I can dance, yknow. (starts to dance really, really, really badly) Chandler: Oh no, no, no, no.
27、Phoebe: (covering her mouth in shock) What, what is that?Joey: Sure, it looks stupid now, theres no music playing.(phone rings)Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, Im, Im in need of a stripper and I was told that you do tha
28、t, (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?Monica: (entering) Hi!Phoebe: Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita?Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh,
29、 I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.Joey: Get out! I couldnt stop if a meteor hit me.Chandler: Okay, we have our stripper. A miss Crystal Chandelier.Joey: Well sure, you name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be? Monica: Anyway um, wh
30、en he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think its pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)Joey: (reading) The Empty Vase. Translucent beauty.Chandler: To yourself. (finishing) Hey-hey-hey, yknow what thats pretty good.Monica:
31、 Oh good, I think so too. Pheebs?Phoebe: Oh yeah.Monica: Oh, Im so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)Joey: Whoa, Im not done.Monica: All right, just give it back to me when your done. See you guys.Chandler: Bye-bye.(Monica leaves)Phoebe: Oh my God, oh
32、my God! Poor Monica!Chandler: What, what, what?!Phoebe: What?! He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look, (reading) My vessel so empty with nothing inside. Now that Ive touched you, you seem emptier still.* He thinks Monica is empty, she is the empty vase!Chandler: You really think that is what
33、he meant?Phoebe: Oh, totally. Oh, God, oh, she seemed so happy too.Joey: Done.Scene: Rachels office, her desk is covered with stuff Ross has sent her.Mark: (reaching through the flowers) Do you have the, the Ralph Lauren file?Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, its umm. (she picks up this bug and it starts to p
34、lay the theme from Love Story) Mark: Wh-whats that?Ross: Its from Ross, its a love bug.Mark: Wow! Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.我的？这里？我可以为这片嘴唇写一部史诗 要怎么写？虽然没有押韵不过我喜欢你们得扒一、两个钱包孩子们你得扒一、两个钱包真好太好了真的?谢谢乔伊，我们非常希望星期六再看到你太好了我会来的别忘了带你的爵士舞鞋来参加舞蹈试演我的经纪人说这个角色不必跳舞 所有的角色都要跳一点舞 但以你的舞蹈背景小意思罢了追随妥
35、拉萨普学习三年现代舞？在美国芭蕾舞团待了五年？谁的履历表不灌水？我也没有演过ZOOM你到底会不会跳舞？ 我会跳舞，你知道 这是干什么？现在看起来很蠢因为没有放音乐我得去接嗨听我说，我需要个脱衣舞娘我听说你是跳脱衣舞的我问你，你多收一百块 可以额外提供什么服务？ 那我要提供葡萄吗？嗨你昨晚跟胡利欧约会的情况怎么样，小姐？简直不可思议，他性感又聪明 这让他显得更性感Rachel: Oh no, no-no-no, thats not, not, not, what he is doing. Hes just, hes justreally romantic.Man: (to Rachel) Ah,
36、 excuse me, are you Rachel Green?Rachel: Yes.Man: (being joined by the rest of the barbershop quartet) One, two, three.Quartet: (singing) Congratulations on your first week at your brand new job! It wont be long before your the boss.The Bass Barber: Omm-pah, omm-pah, omm-pah.Quartet: (singing) And y
37、ou know who will be there to support. you?! Your one and only boyfriend.The Bass Barber: Its nice to have a boyfriend.Quartet: Your loyal loving boyfriend Ross. Ross!mercial BreakScene: Monica and Rachels, Ross and Rachel are entering the living room from her bedroom.Ross: Im hurt! Im actually hurt,
38、 that you would think that I would send you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!Rachel: All right Ross! I get it!Ross: I mean my God.Rachel: Youre hurt!Ross: .cant, cant a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriends office anymorrrrre!Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was
39、 so obvious! It was like you were marking your territory. I mean you might have well have just e in and peed all around my desk! Ross: I would never do that!Rachel: Look, I know whats going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.Ross: Yeah well if, if, if Mark s
40、aid that, than Marks an idiot.Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey are there.Joey: Marks a genius!Ross: Why?! How?! How is he a genius?Chandler: Look, don*t you see whats happening here. Instead of hitting on her right away, hes being her confidant. Now hes gonna be the guy she goes too to plai
41、n about you.Ross: What am I going to do?Chandler: Well, why dont you send her a musical bug, op, no you already did that. All right look, youre going to have to go there yourself now, okay, make a few surprise visits.Ross: I dont know you guys.Chandler: All right fine, dont do anything, just sit her
42、e and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And hes being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.,Joey: And before you know it, shes with him. And youll be all, Ohh, man! And hell be all, Yes! And us, well be like, Wh-whoa,
43、 dude.1 And pretty soon youll be like, (sadly) Hhiii/ and, and, and, I cant go, Rachel and Mark might be there., And well be like, Man get over it, its been four years!1我得告诉你昨晚我们亲热的时候？, 突然之间，他停下来写诗 少来了，我就算被陨石打中 也停不下来我们请了脱衣舞娘水晶吊灯小姐 给小孩取这种名字长大了还能做什么？但他忘了把这首诗带走我看不懂诗不过我觉得这是一首好诗你们看看空花瓶半透明的美不要念出来写得很好对，我也觉
44、得，菲比？太棒了我真高兴你们都喜欢我得去上班了看完再还给我回头见再见我的天可怜的摩妮卡怎么了？他在跟她亲热的时候写这首诗 我的花瓶如此美丽 内里空无一物如今我伸手触摸你看似更加空洞她觉得摩妮卡很空洞她是个空花瓶你真的觉得他是这个意思？一点都没错老天，她看起来好幸福看完了你有圣罗兰的档案吗？当然有，就在那是什么？是罗斯送的，爱的金龟他想向全世界宣告你已经名花有主了他不是这个意思他只是非常浪漫罢了对不起，你是瑞秋格林吗？1 2 3恭喜你履新职的第一周要不了多久你就会当老板了Chandler: He paints quite a picture doesnt he?Scene: Rachels of
45、fice.Woman: (walking up to Mark) Heres the Shelly Siegal stuff from December. Mark: (turning around) And wait, Ive got something for you. (kisses her) Woman: Mark!Mark: Its okay, Rachel knows.Woman: Yeah, but even soo.(Ross appears in the hallway just outside of Rachels office.)Mark: I cant help it,
46、 Im just, Im just crazy about you.Rachel: Ohhh! That is soo sweet! (gets up to get herself a cup of coffee)(Ross is eavesdropping in the hallway.)Mark: Okay, okay look, I know Im being Mr. Inappropriate today, but its just so tough, I mean see you walking around and I just wanna touch you and hold y
47、ou, e on no ones around, just, just kiss me.(They start to kiss, and Ross rushes into the office to break it up.)Ross: All right thats, thats it! Get off her!Mark: What is going on?Ross: Whats going on?! (throws the love bug at him) Thats whats going on!Rachel: (now standing behind Ross) Ross!(Ross finally looks at t