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1、告知信写作讲义题目假定你是校排球队队长李华。请写邮件告知你的队友Chris,球队近期 将参加比赛,内容包括:1. 比赛信息;2. 赛前准备;3. 表达期待。题目分析这个题目其实出的有点迷。我是队长,球队近期要参加比赛,我要写 邮件通知我的队友?比赛都近期了,难道我的队友对比赛一无所知吗?要 不就是这个比赛太突如其来了,要不就是这个排球队管理涣散,连训练都 没有,大家平时都见不着面换一个讲解思路,让各位看几个不同版本的写作,你们自己来比较一 下,每篇里面的优点和缺点都是什么。优点就是你要学习的,缺点就是你 要回避的。版本一We are going to have a crucial match
2、with our big rival Eagles, which may decide who is going to be the champions this season. The match starts this Saturday evening 7:30pm at the city stadium. We must try our best to win the match. Please make sure you will play your role in the match as a key player. See you then.这篇写作最致命的问题,就是遗漏了“赛前准
3、备的要点。各位同学在 审题的时候务必仔细,要在落笔前就在草稿纸上设计好,要写哪几个要点, 每个要点具体要写什么样的内容,要点之间又应该如何衔接,否则就会像 这篇文章一样内容不合理。告知了比赛时间,说你一定要扮演好重要角色, 最后就到时见了,难道比赛前都不训练准备的吗?另外,不分段的写作是不可取的,应用文写作三段式结构是比较常规 的模式。这篇文章写作整体显得很随意,缺乏对考试写作的理解和经验积 累。标颜色的个别短语和词汇的使用还是比较准确的,可以借鉴。版本二How are you doing? Recently, a volleyball game will be held in our cam
4、pus, which will be not only meaningful but also interesting. Being the captain of the team, I am writing to invite you to join us in the battle!The game will be held on the playground this Friday afternoon. Our team will play against Class 2 team, so it will be a close game. To win the game, we shou
5、ld make good preparation for it, including regular practice. Only when we improve our skills can we ensure the victory.Hopefully, you could make it to this wonderful event. We need you!开头的“not only . but also不推荐,内容单薄而且非常啰嗦,属于没 必要用但非要用的刻意写法,实际上这个句子直接处理成“an interesting and meaningful volleyball game w
6、ill be held in our campus”,感觉更利索些。第一段第二句直接让人摸不着头脑了,你在写的是邀请信,还是通知? 你是让他来当观众,还是让他上场比赛?如果是观众,那和题干里的“队友 就矛盾;如果是上场比赛,那用invite就很诡异。这就是各位同学需要注 意的另一个致命问题:写作目的不清晰,应用文写作一定跑题。拿到题目 以后,务必认真想想这篇作文属于哪一类应用文写作,你到底应该以什么 立场、什么口吻、什么风格说话,才能达到这篇题目的目的。第二段的including后面只有一个regular practice,是不可取的写法, 你用到名词列举的标志词including,就要确保至
7、少写出两个内容,所以这 里可以改成including regular practice and one-on-one training 包括常规 训练和一对一训练笫二段末尾的倒装句可以作为写作套路记下来。一直看到结尾,也没明白到底是让他来比赛,还是来呐喊助威.版本三Im Li Hua, the captain of our school volleyball team. I am writing to inform you that our team is going to play in the National League. Every participating team is gre
8、at and ready for the game. It can be predicted that this is a close match.Our team is now busy preparing for the game, from living to daily training. We are confident that we can win this competition. But we sincerely hope you will give us your guidance and encouragement. Im sure that you will certa
9、inly wish us to win.Thank you for your expectation and I am looking forward to hearing from you.开头的自我介绍毫无意义,队友不认识队长吗?这篇文章同时出现了前两个版本的致命问题:遗漏要点+跑题。第一个 要点“比赛信息、在文章里只提到了什么比赛,至于什么时间什么地点完全 没有提到。也许写作者想表示的是我们参加的是“national league全国联 赛,不需要具体的时间地点,但是这就说明你对题目的解读缺乏经验。“比 赛信息应该包括什么?命题者希望看到你写出哪些方面的内容?我认为 从这个角度上考虑,比
10、赛的时间、地点、对手是最基本的写作要求。第一段末尾的形式主语句型,第二段的一些词汇短语的应用还是可以 借鉴的。但是在第二段里写到“希望你来给我们指导和鼓励,就是严重的 跑题了。“请您来指导我们,给我们鼓鼓劲,我知道你希望我们赢,这个 写信的口吻,感觉对方是上一任教练一样。版本四How are you doing? Currently, high school volleyball match is around the corner. As the captain of our school volleyball team, Im writing to inform you some key
11、information with regard to it.Here is a brief notice. As scheduled, the match is supposed to be launched in our school gym from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. next Sunday. All team members are required to gather in the gym in advance. Additionally, intensive training will be arranged every morning from 7:00 to 9
12、:00 a.m. before the match. Our coach, Mr. Wang, will show us some practical game plans then.Everyone is longing for our victory, and it would be more cheerful if we could win the champion in our own school. Your participation will surely make a difference.这是我们这次的范文,也是一篇合格的写作。第一段里的两个短语:around the cor
13、ner即将到来、就在不远处, “with regard to关于”就等同于介词about,是各位可以积累的。这篇文章最大的优点,就是对题目的三个要点都做了细致的内容匹配。 各位可以看到详细的比赛信息、充实的赛前准备和非常热切的对胜利的期 待。实际上在整体字数的限制下,我们并不需要设计太复杂的内容,每个 要点最多2-3句话,就可以完美地达到内容充实的要求。而这2-3句到底 要写什么,要怎么写,就是各位同学平时的素材积累和写作经验决定的了。表示期待的文章结尾各位平时写得少,所以可以用这篇文章作为范例 着重积累一下。版本五Im Li Hua, captain of the school volley
14、ball team. Im writing to inform you of the upcoming volleyball game that you should prepare for.The game is scheduled to be held in the newly built stadium nextSunday. You being a member of the team, proper preparation on your part would be appreciated. To start with, please come up with a workout s
15、chedule and stick to it so that you can get in shape soon. Besides, you should attend the team training sessions and meetings to study the visiting team together with the teammates.Since the school attaches great importance to this game, I hope we can devote ourselves to becoming a stronger team and beat our opponent.再补充一篇优秀的范文,请各位同学特别注意作者使用了哪些动词短 语,是如何给题目要点扩充需要的内容的,也正是这些具体内容,才能让 你的作文得到阅卷者的青眯。