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1、 English103 组员：洪丽娟，张敏娟，汪凤娟，汪雪梅，黄晓芬Dear C,Please help to send the samples to my HK office BEFORE THIS WEEKEND.Thanks.Rio 一般客人在邮件里特别加粗，或者大写，或者用红色标注的，肯定是特别强调的东西。这就很明显了，客人用大写的目的是为了提醒并强调，必须要周末前寄出！可能这封邮件很简单，你不太容易忽视，但是如果一封很长的邮件，里面详细确认各种规格的时，突然加了一句要你周末前 寄样品，是很容易被忽略的。英文信函中，如果你仔细琢磨老外的行文方式，很少会充满We，I之类的人称的。相反要多
2、用被动语态。比如说，我们明天会寄你样品。中国人喜欢说Well send you the samples tomorrow.这句话没错，语法正确，意思清楚，但是老外就不喜欢这样说。他们通常会这样写：Samples will be sent to you tomorrow.用得是被动语态，人称就没有经常会问一些毫无意义的话 比如Do you want our products？这句话被我列为最傻疑问句排行榜第一名。如果客人说No，你怎么回复？那就没下文了哦。而且本身你是去推销的，你希望客人感兴趣，你要引起客人的兴趣。但是这句话就大煞风景，等于一子就把客人逼到了绝路上，一定要说是或者否。还有诸如Do
3、 you interested in our products?Are you sourcing for*?How is your business recently?Would you like to cooperate with us?这些都是毫无意义的话。开发信还是要直接一点，告诉客人你是谁，你做什么，你的优势在那 里。只要清楚表述出这3点，就完全足够了。其他的东西可以以后慢慢谈。Hi Jang,Please kindly check the invoice attached.Price is included DHL shipping cost,but NOT moneytransfe
4、r transaction fees.For 1700 pcs,we need one day to prepare and DHL will take 4-5 days to arrive in Australia,because of the Brand name SPECK.Any question,just let me know.Best regards Paul Hello Jang,Please kindly check the price list.Price is just for reference,just let me know which model you need
5、 and the quantity.I promise that you would get the best price from us.If you need further information please do not hesitate to contact me any time,I am at your disposal.With Best Regards Paul Li International Sales Dear Sirs,It is so glad to have your information from Internet.Allow me to introduce
6、 you our company：Founded in 1992,and is a foreign-capital enterprise外贸企业,and our headquarters is in Hongkong.We are a professional manufacturer of Sporting goods,garment and accessories配件.We have won five manufacturing factories and a marketing center销售中心 Since established,we persisted in the princi
7、ple of Quality Service First,Pursuing Fashion Perfection,Respect Contract and Observe Credit尊重合同，守信用.And all of our products are very popular from domestic and aborad.We have a group of excellen talents who are good at seizing the market changes and our R&D dept.has been engaging in developing new i
8、tems and designs to satisfy the demands for domestic and international market.For more information about our company and products,welcome to visit our website:http:/www.*.com.Wed like to cooperate with you under the mutual benefit to expand our export and create more business opportunities.Any quest
9、ions please feel free to contact with us.Your early reply will be highly appreciated.Thanks and best regards.Thank you very much for your great support!*Group Ltd.China TEl:+86-*Fax:Skype:Email:Manufacure:Sporting goods、garment and accessories案例分析主要问题：1.基本写作类问题 虽然能看出来这封开发信作者是用心编辑写出来的，但是检查还是不够到位，仍然有很
10、多语法和拼写上的错误。特别提醒各位外贸人士在写开发信的时候，一定要注意标点符号的使用，中文的很多标点符号在英文中是不使用的。2.文章结尾的说明文字问题 最后一段文字虽然能够起到一定的引起重视的作用，也避免了恶意的抄袭。但是总体来看，这部分的文字还是弊大于利的。这段文字中写了太多的免责申明，这会给对方一种很不好的感觉，难免让人产生你的公司遇事就跑的感觉。3.从开发信内容来看 作者仍然是一直在陈述“我们有什么”而完全没有从客户的角度考虑“他能得到什么”；文章介绍太多关于分公司的内容，显得过于冗长。要在文章一开头就让客户能抓住他最关心的问题，要知道能留住客户的注意力是一件多么不容易的事情，这么长的开发信，估计没有几个客户能坚持看完的。开发信不够有特色。没有写出与其他潜在竞争对手的区别之处，至少你要给客户一个必须选择你的理由。值得表扬的是，这封信在开头的时候就介绍了公司规模，这点能让客户对你的公司产生信赖感。