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1、Composition Guidance Qingdao No.58 Middle School Lecturer:Yu Ning范文一：Mr.Zhang is an experienced teacher and he is our friend,too.Many students like him.We think that he is the best teacher.His class is not easy to forget.In his class,everybody has a chance to speak.Nobody escapes from class.In our l
2、ife,he takes care of every student and doesnt allow us to be hurt.I remember once there was a big fire in our school.In the fire,he and other people tried to put out the fire.Everybody on the scene was worried about the old man with thick glasses.After many hours of hard work,most of the equipment w
3、as saved.We all praised Mr.Zhang for what he had done.范文二：范文二：Mr.Zhang is not only a teacher with rich experience,but also our friend.Many students admire him and consider him as the best teacher in the world.His class is very unforgettable.In his class,everybody has the opportunity to express thems
4、elves so that no one escapes from class.In our life,he cares for every student and protects us from being hurt.Once he fought with others against a big fire in our school.Everybody on the scene was worried about the old man with thick glasses.After many hours of struggle,most of the equipment was re
5、scued from the fire.Mr.Zhang was highly praised for what he had done.高考作文各档次的给分范围和要求：高考作文各档次的给分范围和要求：第一档：（第一档：（25-30分）分）完全完成了试题规定的任务。完全完成了试题规定的任务。对题中所提供的信息进行了对题中所提供的信息进行了恰当的描述恰当的描述，清楚地清楚地表达了自己的观点并进行了充分合理的论证。表达了自己的观点并进行了充分合理的论证。应用了应用了较多的语法结构和词汇较多的语法结构和词汇。有效地使用了有效地使用了语句间连接成分，使全文结构紧凑语句间连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。语法结
6、构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽力使用较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致；具备较强的语言较复杂结构或较高级词汇所致；具备较强的语言运用能力。运用能力。第二档：（第二档：（19-24分）分）完成了试题规定的任务。完成了试题规定的任务。对题中所提供的信息进行了描述，表达了自己的对题中所提供的信息进行了描述，表达了自己的观点并进行了论证。观点并进行了论证。应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确，些许错误主语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确，些许错误主要是因尝试较复杂语法结构或词汇所致。要是因尝试较复杂语法
7、结构或词汇所致。应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。第三档：（第三档：（13-18分）分）基本完成了试题规定的任务。基本完成了试题规定的任务。能描述题目中的信息，表达了自己的观点并尝试能描述题目中的信息，表达了自己的观点并尝试进行论证。进行论证。应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求。有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，但不影响理有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，但不影响理解。解。应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文内容连贯。应用简单的语句间的连接成分，使全文内容连贯。1.Christmas is coming.2
8、.3.4.5.Christmas is approaching.Christmas is drawing near.Christmas is on the way.Christmas is around the corner.2.We should use every minute to study at school.We should make full use of/take advantage of every minute to study at school.We should devote every minute to studying at school.Every minu
9、te should be made full use of to study at school.3.We should do something to prevent water pollution.We should take some measures to prevent water pollution.We should take some measures to prevent water from being polluted.Effective measures should be taken to prevent water from being polluted.4.The
10、 doctor tried his best to save the patient.The doctor made every effort to rescue The doctor spared no effort to rescue The doctor did all/whatever/everything he could to rescue 5.I will tell him the news as soon as I see him.I will inform him of the news the moment I see him.I will inform him of th
11、e news immediately I see him.6.Playing games on line wastes time.It is a waste of time to play games on line.7.You helped me a lot.I improved a lot in my English.With/Thanks to your help,I improved a lot in my English.Without/But for your help,I couldnt have improved a lot in my English.You helped m
12、e a lot;as a result,I improved a lot in my English.8.The room I found for you is a small flat.In it there is a kitchen and a bathroom.The room I found for you is a small flat with a kitchen and a bathroom in it.The room I found for you is a small flat,in which there is a kitchen and a bathroom.There
13、 is a kitchen and a bathroom in the small flat I found for you.9.Some people are against the opinion that parks collect entrance fees.They say that it will do harm to the image of the city.Some people are against the opinion that parks collect entrance fees,saying that it will do harm to the image o
14、f the city.Some people who are against the opinion that parks collect entrance fees say that it will do harm to the image of the city.Some people are against the opinion that parks collect entrance fees,which they say will do harm to the image of the city.10.You helped me correct my mistakes.I am ve
15、ry thankful to you for your help.I am very thankful to you for helping me correct my mistakes.I really appreciate your helping me correct my mistakes.常用过渡词与连接词常用过渡词与连接词:to begin with/to start withon the other hand/on the contrarythat is to say/in other wordswhats more/besides/furthermorewhats worse/
16、to make matters worsesimilarly/in the same wayfirst of all/above allbecause/as/since/thanks to/due toeither or/neither nor/not only but alsoto be exact/in general/generally speakingall in all/in a word/in conclusion-Recently we have had a heated discussion.It was about whether we should keep pets at
17、 home in cities.Some students think it is a good idea to keep pets.Many old people who live alone at home can get some comfort from pets.Getting along well with animals will make our life interesting.The other students are against the idea.They think if too many people keep pets at home,it will be b
18、ad for the environment.Pets make too much noise and even attack people.I like animals.I dont think keeping pets at home is bad.But we should do something so that pets will not pollute the environment or hurt us.Recently we have had a heated discussion on whether we should keep pets at home in cities
19、.Some students think it is a good idea to keep pets,because many old people who live alone at home can get some comfort from pets.Whats more,getting along well with animals will make our life interesting.On the other hand,the other students are against the idea,thinking that if too many people keep
20、pets at home,it will do harm to the environment.Whats worse,pets make too much noise and even attack people.I like animals and I dont think it bad to keep pets at home.But we should take some measures to prevent them from polluting the environment and hurting us.1.Dont forget to give your article a
21、good title if necessary.2.As long as you can keep to the point,you can write whatever you want.So dont ask for trouble by expressing what you cant express.3.You should know what to write first and what to write next.That is to say,decide how many paragraphs you need and what you want to write in eac
22、h paragraph.4.Try to use some advanced words and structures in the right way.Water Is Very ImportantA few people believe that the water wont be out of run（1），），but as an opposite fact，the water is in terrible shortage（2）The fresh water includes the water from the well，the rain，the river，etcThe ocean
23、s cover 70of the earth area，most of them cant be used（3）All the people dont cherish the water at all（4）The improvement of person（5），），the pollution of water and the waste of water make us in short of fresh water So today we should cherish every drop of fresh water in decreasing（6）pollution of water，
24、waste of water and increase the utilization rate of fresh waterI hope that we will escape from（7）the shortage all over the world tomorrow（1）动词语态有误。）动词语态有误。“run out”这个动词短语可以用于主这个动词短语可以用于主动形式：动形式：“Water is running out”，如果用被动形，如果用被动形式，要加介词式，要加介词“of”。即：。即：“Water will be run out of”（2）考生自作主张，随意堆砌词汇。更正为：）
25、考生自作主张，随意堆砌词汇。更正为：but howevernevertheless on the contrary等。等。且整个句子应该是下段的主题句。且整个句子应该是下段的主题句。（3）本句应该在第二段出现）本句应该在第二段出现（4）本句应该是上段的结果。）本句应该是上段的结果。（5）这里反映出考生使用英语上想当然，闭门造车。正确）这里反映出考生使用英语上想当然，闭门造车。正确的说法是：的说法是：rapid growth of population overpopulation explosion of population等。等。（6）“in decreasing”与动词与动词“cheri
26、sh”，“increase”并列。在平行结并列。在平行结构中，动词应采用相同的形式。构中，动词应采用相同的形式。（7）“escape from”是是“躲避躲避”、“逃避逃避”的意思。我们不能回避矛盾。我们别无选择，的意思。我们不能回避矛盾。我们别无选择，只能谋求解决矛盾的办法。所以该句的动词只能谋求解决矛盾的办法。所以该句的动词应该使用：应该使用：“solve”，“find solutions to”，“find a way out of”等。等。【点评】【点评】该文基本能用英文表达思想，但是存在两点重大该文基本能用英文表达思想，但是存在两点重大错误：错误：一、各段主题句不突出，根本没有在段落
27、开头写一、各段主题句不突出，根本没有在段落开头写清楚本段的中心内容，尤其是后两段。考生至少应清楚本段的中心内容，尤其是后两段。考生至少应该开门见山地将所给出的汉语主题句转换成英语，该开门见山地将所给出的汉语主题句转换成英语，再加以论述。再加以论述。二、总的来看，全文一直围绕二、总的来看，全文一直围绕Global Shortage of Fresh Water这一严肃课题。但这一严肃课题。但是前两段互有包含，结构混乱。如：是前两段互有包含，结构混乱。如：“but as an opposite fact，the water is in terrible shortage”本应该是下段的主题句。本应
28、该是下段的主题句。又如：又如：“All the people dont cherish the water at all”是第一段的结果，应该放到首段是第一段的结果，应该放到首段才是。两段内容不能放到一起论述。才是。两段内容不能放到一起论述。这些错误很具有代表性，这就是大多数考生作这些错误很具有代表性，这就是大多数考生作文始终低水平徘徊的主要原因之一。语无伦次属文始终低水平徘徊的主要原因之一。语无伦次属于低级错误，只要稍加用心，很容易避免。主题于低级错误，只要稍加用心，很容易避免。主题突出、层次清楚是很容易做到的，是考试中容易突出、层次清楚是很容易做到的，是考试中容易实现的得分点。落实这一点，
29、与其说考察学生的实现的得分点。落实这一点，与其说考察学生的英文水平，不如说考察学生的汉语写作和思维能英文水平，不如说考察学生的汉语写作和思维能力。力。A few people believe that the water wont run outThe fresh water includes the water from the well，the rain，the river，etcThe oceans cover 70 of the earths areaAs a result，some people waste the water However，there are terrible w
30、ater shortagesMost of the water cant be usedThe rapid growth of the population，the pollution of water and the waste of water have led to water shortages So today we should cherish every drop of fresh water，decrease the pollution of water，the waste of water and increase the utilization rate of fresh
31、waterI hope that we will find solutions to the worlds waters shortages As we all know,water is very important to living things.All animals and plants need water;so does man.It is reported that a healthy man can live about seven days without food,but without water,he can live no more than three days.
32、Water is also of vital importance to agriculture and industry.water can also clean the air.When it rains,most dusts in the air fall down with rain water,and thus the air is cleaned.Although about 70 percent of the earths surface is covered with water,many countries in the world are still short of water.Whats worse,in many places nowadays,water is seriously polluted.So we must do whatever we can to save water and prevent it from being polluted.All in all,we must protect water and make full use of every drop of it.(145 words)