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1、大家晚上好。Good evening, everybody.”玩起来，玩起来，玩游戏”play up, play up, and play the game/吉卜林说，如果你能遇到胜利和灾难Kipling said that if you can meet triumph and disaster对他们一视同仁，And treat them just the same,然后你就会成为一个男人。Then you will be a man.当然，现在你必须说person,These days of course, you would have to say person,它甚至没有扫描。Whic
2、h doesnt even scan.当然，现在已经没有人再为这种事操心了。But nobody bothers about that sort of thing anymore, of course.尽管如此，今天比以往任何时候都更需要吉卜林的信息。Nonetheless, Kiplings message is needed more today than it ever was.因为体育，正如我们将要看到的，Because sport, as we shall see,就像吸了一半的甜，Is like a half-sucked sweet,和以前不一样了。Not what it use
3、d to be.对不起，对不起。Sorry, sorry.我喜欢足球。I love football.现代足球有很多方面Theres so many aspects to the modern game-啤酒，薯片，The beer, the crisps,那些肮脏的歌♥曲，The dirty songs,只是在享受赛前的气氛。Just savoring the pre-match atmosphere.你介意吗?我想我们可以没有你赛前的气氛。Do you mind? I think we could do without your pre-match atmosphere. 我
4、喜欢打个饱嗝。Oh, I love a good burp, me.他们会喜欢的！Theyd love it!Oohhh !你生气的时候很美，亲爱的。Oohhh! Youre beautiful when you*re angry, darling.我还以为你是在恭维我呢。Well, I would have thought it were flattering.当然了，博伊尔。Of course it is, Boyle.没有什么能增强一个女孩的自尊Theres nothing builds up a girfs self-esteem就像养一只人类大猩猩Like having a huma
5、n gorilla脑子只有花生那么大With a brain the size of a peanut邀请你给它剥香蕉！Inviting you peel its banana!啊,警官，Ah, sergeant,既然离你回来上班还有18秒Since you still have 18 seconds to go before youre back on duty.亲爰的，我得说你今天真漂亮。Darling, I must say youre looking lovely today.确实很可爰。Very lovely indeed.把你的苍蝇卷起来吧，笨蛋，你的脑子在外面晃荡。Do up y
6、our flies, bum head, youre brains hanging out.嗯。嗯,很好。Mmm. Hmmm, well.我必须继续，必须继续。I must get on, must get on.警员哈比卜，Constable Habib,除了最紧急的电♥话♥,其他电♥话♥一律接听。Hold all but the most urgent calls.-还没接到电♥话♥如果有，抓住他们。-There haven*t been any calls. - When there are, hold
7、them.格里姆探长，你在执勤。Inspector Grim, youre on duty.你不能像罗伊那样趾高气扬。You cant strut about like Roy of the rovers.我去卧底了。I have gone undercover.这应该能骗过他们。That should fool them.听着，福勒，这是最尖锐的地方，Listen, Fowler, this is the sharp end, mate,不是快乐的板球棒，Not jolly cricket bats, 划船的好天气，你不知道吗？Lovely boating weather, dont you
8、 know?牛津和剑桥，排,排，排，Oxford and Cambridge- row, row, row, 把你的小考克斯举过头顶。And hoist your little cox above your head.这是足球，足球不是游戏。This is football, and football is not a game.很明显这是个游戏。Well； obviously it is a game.但这也不是游戏。But it is also not a game.我是说，虽然这是个游戏，I mean, even though it is a game, 没必要把它当成游戏，Theres
9、 no point treating it like a game, 因为这不是游戏。虽然很明显这是个游戏。Because it is not a game. Although clearly it is a game.好吧，鲍伊，跟我来。我们走，走，走。All right, Boyle, with me. Lets go, go, go.我想我们应该联♥系♥x档案，长官。I think we should contact the x-files, sir.格里姆探长的身体里住着一个来自伯克星球的生物。Inspector Grims body has been in
10、habited by a being from the planet Berk. 尊重等级，哈比卜。Respect for rank, Habib.事实上，他不碍事也挺好的，Its just as well hes out of the way, actually, 我和市长有个约会。I have an appointment with the mayoress.他确实降低了语调。And he does rather lower the tone.市长夫人要来了?一是的，没错。-They mayoress is coming here? - Yes, thats right.克里斯塔贝尔维克汉
11、姆夫人。Dame Christabel Wickham.“克丽丝威基，”是的。“Chrissy Wicky, yes.你在学校和谁一起?我很荣幸，是的。-Who you were at school with? -1 had that honor, yes.从那以后你就幻想了?-对，就是这个不！-And youve fancied ever since? - Yes； thats the one- no!别傻了。Now don*t be absurd.反正我也知道，因为你的鼻子总在抽动Fil know anyway, because your nose always twitches当你爱上某
12、人的时候。When you fancy someone.帕特里夏，你不是嫉妒吧?-当然不是。-Patricia, youre not jealous, surely? - Of course not.我男朋友都流口水了，我还怕什么Why would I be, when my boyfriend dribbles因为想到另一个女人？At the thought of another woman?但这太荒谬了，帕特丽夏。你怎么会觉得她威胁到了你？But thats ridiculous, Patricia. How could you feel threatened by her?太疯狂了。你确
13、定吗，雷蒙德？Its insane. - Are you sure, Raymond?当然了。Well, of course.克丽茜,维克汉姆才华横溢，美丽动人，多才多艺。Chrissy Wickham is brilliant, beautiful, accomplished.我永远找不到那样的女孩。I could never get a girl like that.我完全配不上她。Shes completely out of my league.谢谢你，雷蒙德，你说得够多了。Thank you, Raymond, youve said enough.我希望我让你放心了。I hope Iv
14、e set your mind at rest.像那样的好女人对我的任何女朋友都不构成威胁。A wonderful woman like that is scarcely a threat to any girlfriend of mine. 早上好。早上好。坐下，坐下，坐下。Good morning. Good morning. Sit, sit, sit.你们都知道，有As you all know, theres been这是体育界一个非常了不起的发展。A quite extraordinary development in the world of sport.加斯福斯将在足协杯上对阵
15、一支超级联赛球队。Gasforth are going to play a premier-league side in the F.A. Cup.更重要的是，这是主场比赛。切尔西来找我们了。And whats more, its a home game. Chelsea are coming to us.现在我们最关心的是什么？Now what are our chief concerns?让我们开始，可以说-LetsKick off, as it were- 可能会引起群众骚乱。With the prospects for crowd trouble.可悲的是，现在的足球已经今非昔比。No
16、w sadly, the game of football is not what it was.体面小伙子穿着大短裤的日子一去不复返了Gone are the days when decent lads in enormous shorts 一群兴高采烈的、戴着布帽子的小贩激动不已。Thrilled peaceful crowds of chirpy cloth-capped costermongers.今天这些烫发、梳妆打扮的人树立了什么样的榜样？What sort of example do these permed and preening louts of today set? 这些
17、凝视者和bazzerThese gazzers and bazzers还有杀人狂，黑客，rozzer和tozzer ?And slashers and hackers and rozzers and tozzers?足球运动员过去都有好听的名字。Footballers used to have nice names.就像迪克西迪恩一样，Like Dixie Dean, 小鱼汤普金斯，Tiddler Tompkins, 诺比坚果和姜卷。Nobbie Nut and Ginger Curlies.雷蒙德，世界上最优秀的女人就在前台。Raymond, the worlds finest exampl
18、e of womanhood is at the front desk.葛洛利亚汉尼佛德,？Gloria Hunniford?市长夫人，才华横溢，美丽动人一一我想她可能做过下巴整形手术。The mayoress, brilliant, beautiful- think she might have had a little chin tuck. 市长夫人吗?在这里了吗？The mayoress? Here already?我看起来怎么样? 可悲又可怜。-How do I look? - Sad and pathetic.很好。好。Good. Good.维克汉姆市长，欢迎来到我们卑贱的岗位。Ma
19、yoress Wickham, welcome to our humble and unworthy station.你好，雷蒙德。Hello, Raymond.尊敬的大人，这确实是一个意外的荣誉。Your worship, this is indeed an unhoped for honor.不要太正式。Dont be so formal.我还记得你在大学校的时候跟着我上楼I can remember you following me up the stairs in big school 想看看我的内♥裤♥。Trying to see my knickers.
20、我很震惊，也很感动Im- Im astonished and most touched你还记得我们以前的熟人吗，女士。That you recall our former acquaintance； maam.我怎么也忘不了老福勒，对吧？I could hardly forget old feely Fowler, could I?好的，你的办公室在哪里？All right, wheres your office?我想直接切入正题。I want to get straight down to it.茶,警官！Tea, sergeant!请坐，夫人。Oh, please take a seat,
21、 your maamship.拜托，雷蒙德。Oh, come on, Raymond.是克丽丝的私人电♥话♥。Its Chrissy in private.你真是太好了，你的基♥督♥。Oh, that is most kind your-your Chrissyship.这场对阵切尔西的比赛，This fixture against Chelsea,这简直是加斯福斯经历过的最大的一件事。Its quite simply the biggest thing thats ever happened to Gasforth.这是再好不过的时机了
22、。And it could not have come a better time.你知道我们的”搬到加斯福斯”媒体宣传活动吧？You are aware of our relocate in Gasforth media campaign?哦，我确实是，是的。我看过海报了Oh, I am indeed, yes. Tve seen the posters,“加斯福斯，没你想的那么糟。Gasforth, it*s not as bad as you think.英国正准备成为欧洲的血汗工厂。Britain is poised to become the sweatshop of europe.
23、-加斯福斯不能掉队。-嗯，确实没有。-And Gasforth cannot afford to be left behind. - Well, no, indeed.我们需要侧写。We need profile.这场足协杯比赛是关键。This F.A. Cup match is key.它将把电视、媒体和成千上万的人吸引到这个城镇。It will bring television, the press, and thousands of people into the town. 无论输赢，加斯福斯都在地图上oWin or lose, Gasforth is on the map.您的茶，夫
24、人。Your tea, maam.把它放在桌子上，然后离开。Put it on the desk and leave us.我没有给你做，菲利。I didnt make you one, feely.我以为你已经够火♥辣♥ 了。Thought you were hot and steaming enough already.要饼干吗，中土？Some biscuits, sergeant?如果你给她一份奶油冻If you offer her a custard cream也许她会让你看看她的内♥裤♥。Perhaps shell let yo
25、u look at her knickers.今天是加斯福斯的大日子。This will be Gasforths big day.如果有谁看起来可能会惹麻烦，就把他们关起来。If anyone even looks as if they might cause trouble, lock em up.如果你成功了，雷蒙德If you pull it off, Raymond, 如果我的大日子顺利的话，If my big day goes without a hitch,我要为你做点事Im going to do something for you 我知道这是你一直想要的That I know
26、 youve always wanted.你的崇拜。你是说？Your worship. Can you mean?我要写信给荣誉委员会Im going to write to the honors commission 推荐你去做m.b.e.And recommend you for an M.B.E.一个m -An m-口羊口羊哗,口羊口羊口羊，An m-m-m-m, an m-m-m-m,咪，咪，咪An m- an m-一声一声一声天哪。An m-m-m-m- blimey.雷蒙德。Raymond.雷蒙德!嗯?帕特丽夏！-Raymond! - Huh? Patricia!我在哪里?一一雷蒙
27、德！-Where am I? - Raymond!饼干！Biscuits!角斗士准备好了！Gladiators ready!输入Enter.爱肌肉。Love muscle.哦,玛吉。麦琪，麦琪Ooh, Maggie. Maggie, Maggie 麦琪，过来。到这里来。Maggie, come here. Come here.好吧，我是谁?我是谁?好吗？Okay, now, who am I? Who am I? Okay? 嘎嘎，嘎嘎，嘎嘎，嘎嘎，嘎嘎，嘎嘎。 Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.呱，呱，呱，呱，呱，呱，呱。Quack, quac
28、k, quack, wack, wack, wack.J,咽喉痛？J. Nasty with a sore throat?唐老鸭。Donald duck.我真喜欢这防暴装备。Oh, I do love this riot gear.真的，你的疑心太可怕了。Really, what a horrid mind suspicious you have.有很多完全无辜的理由There are any number of perfectly innocent reasons 为什么有人会把头伸到市长夫人的裙子上。Why a man might put his head up the mayoress*
29、 skirt. 她答应推荐我去做M.B.E.She promised to recommend me for an M.B.E.我希望她不会让你成为骑士。Oh, well I hope she doesnt try and get you knighted. 我应该发现你们在做♥爱♥I should probably find you copulating together 在市政厅的台阶上！On the steps of the town hall!说真的，帕特丽夏，你不该这么暗讽。Really, Patricia, these insinuations are
30、unworthy of you. 我和市长夫人的关系完全值得尊敬。My relationship with the mayoress is entirely respectable. 即使你把脸藏在她的内♥裤♥里？Even when youve got your face in her underwear? 尤其是我把脸藏在她内♥裤♥里的时候。 Particularly when Fve got my face in her underwear.尤其是。Particularly.我想我已经把该说的都说完了。I think Ive said
31、 all I need to say on the subject. 我们能换个话题吗？Can we kindly move on to another topic?好吧。正确的。All right. Right.午饭时我要去银行。Im going to the bank at lunchtime.要我给你买♥♥点什么吗？Can I get you anything from the shops?哦，嗯。一些巧克力，一些给市长夫人的花？-Ooh, hmmm. - Some chocolates, some flowers for the mayoress?这样你下次
32、亲她屁♥股♥的时候嘴唇就不会破裂了？Some blistick, so your lips dont get chapped when youre next kissing her bottom?我们在比赛日的工作是监督加斯福斯的观众。Our job on match day will be to police the Gasforth crowd.当然，伦敦警♥察♥厅将负责切尔西的支持者，The metropolitan police wilt of course, be in charge of the Chelsea support
33、ers, 他们注定是一群粗鲁无礼的流氓。And a nasty bunch of ill-mannered yobbos they are bound to be.我预计会有相当可怕的行为。I anticipate quite appalling behavior.你这是偏见，先生，大多数球迷都是真正的球迷。Youre being prejudiced, sir. Most supporters are genuine fans.我说的不是支持者，哈比卜，I wasnt talking about the supporters, Habib, 我说的是大都会警♥察♥
34、局。I was talking about the metropolitan police.一想到加斯福斯会被伦敦警♥察♥包围，我就害怕。The idea of Gasforth being awash with London officers fills me with dread.在这个地方大摇大摆，Swaggering about the place,称呼对方为“我的儿子”Calling each other nmy son.还说事情有点不妙。And saying that things have gone a bit pear-shaped.我们加斯福斯的警
35、♥察♥会像一碗玉米片一样聪明oWe of the Gasforth constabulary will be as smart as a bowl of cornflakes.我不允许这里有任何伦敦警♥察♥的行为。I shall not have any of that london police behavior around here.好吧，你们这些人。关闭它！Right, you lot. Shut it!斯特莱斯，福勒，我的儿子，Strewth, Fowler, my son,这里看起来都像梨形的？It all looks a b
36、it pear-shaped round here or what?管家在说话。The guvnor*s talking.周六的比赛，非常危险。Saturdays game, very dodgy.非常淘气。可能会变成梨形。Very naughty. Could go a little bit pear-shaped.如果发生了争吵，事情可能会变得，嗯，不确定。If theres a ruck, things might get, well, iffy.这些脸有点硬。明白我的意思吗？These faces are a little bit hard. Know what I mean?有一点点
37、一一呃!尝尝这个吧，孩子。A little bit- ufff! Have some of that, my son.波什，咸，哒哒QBosh, salty, ta-ta.有我吗?所以要聪明。Got me? So be clever.很好。现在闭嘴！Good. Now shut it!格里姆探长，为了表彰我们的多语言社会，Inspector Grim, in recognition of our multilingual society, 这支现代化的部队拥有接受过各种语言训练的军官。The modern force boasts officers trained in any number
38、of languages. 但恐怕不是完全的白♥痴♥。But not, I fear, complete idiot.滑稽，真滑稽。你是个喜剧演员，我的孩子，我不这么认为。Funny, tres droll. Youre a comedian, my son, that I do not think.我一直在和大都会博物馆的一些老家伙联络，Ive been liaising with some geezers at the met,汇集我们的智慧。Pooling our intelligence.天哪，你一定是个低能儿。Goodness, between you,
39、you must have made an imbecile.闭嘴，你这个渣！Shut it, you slag!博伊尔，我的儿子。一一老板。-Boyle, my son. - Guvnor.我们走，走，走，在事情变糟之前。一一排序。-Lets go, go, go, before things get pear-shaped. - Sorted.还有，你们这些人，闭嘴！And, you lot, shut it!鉴证科，与其说是突然，不如说是突然。not so much out of the blue as out of their minds.现在说正事，还有加斯福斯的大日子。Now, t
40、o business, and to Gasforth big day.如你所见，女王陛下已经安排好了Now, as you can see, her majesty has seen to it非常有嚼劲。A really good chewy one.啤酒味的大嗝。Big solid beer-flavored belch.一大口让人咂舌的汽油和晚餐。A really huge tongue-twanging mouthful of gas and dinner. 没有比这更好的了。尤其是在足球方面。Nothing like it. Especially at the footie.角斗土
41、是我的运动。Gladiators is my sport.我很喜欢。这样的大腿。I love it. Such thighs.巨大的大腿。Colossal thighs.她们的大腿都能掰坚果了。They could crack nuts with those thighs.在wolf的案例中，是他自己。In wolfs case, his own.哦，是的。总有一天我会投身其中的，Oh, yes. Vm going to go in for it one day, 等我抽到足够的铁填满我的紧身衣。When Ive pumped enough iron to fill my leotard.我已
42、经有了我的名字一一爱的肌肉。Ive already got my name- love muscle.是的，与角斗士相比，足球是无聊的。Yes, football is boring compared to gladiators.足球并不无聊。Football is not boring.不。No.这就是上帝创造星期六下午的原因。Its the reason god made Saturday afternoons.足球只是一种经过社会消毒的同性恋仪式。Football is just a socially sanitized homo-erotic ritual.“社会坐socially s
43、at-胡言乱语，哈比卜警官。What nonsense, constable Habib.就没有流行的左派定理吗Is there no trendy leftist theorem你不会不加批判地接受吗？我们已经做好了应对最坏情况的防暴准备。That we are fully equipped for the worst-case scenario of riot control.请大家戴上头盔If you could put your helmets on, everybody.我以为你永远不会问。I thought youd never ask.麦琪，麦琪，麦琪，我来吗？Hey, Magg
44、ie, Maggie, Maggie, shall I?嘎嘎，嘎嘎，嘎嘎，我要这样做吗？Quack, quack, quack, shall I do it?没有。不。不，现在不行。-No. No. - No； not now.现在的理想不是使用武力，而是恐吓。Now the ideal is not to employ force, but intimidation.我们希望在这个流氓变得暴♥力♥之前制♥服♥他。We wish to subdue the hooligan before he becomes violent.我们可以通过
45、在盾牌上设置有节奏的敲打来实现这一点，We can achieve this by setting up a rhythmic beating on our shields, 比如让敌人心惊胆战，such as to strike terror into the hearts of the enemy, 祖鲁人英国♥军♥队真正欣赏的对手也曾经如此。As once did the zulus- an adversary the british army truly appreciated.我并不惊讶。祖鲁有节奏的跳动，Im not surprised. The zul
46、us had rhythmic beating, 英国人有野战炮兵。The british had field artillery.我打赌他们一定很感激。I bet they appreciated it.好吧，哈比卜。仅仅因为某些事情在道德上不可原谅All right, Habib. Just because something is morally inexcusable 这并不妨碍它成为国家结构的宝贵组成部分。Does not stop it being a cherished part of the national fabric.看看核桃皮鞭。Look at the walnut whip.现在，我想到的节奏，Now, the rhythm I had in mind, 哒哒哒,哒哒哒,哒哒哒。 Was ra-ta-ta, ra-ta-ta, ra-ta-tah. 哒哒,哒哒，哒哒。 Ra-ta-ta, ra-ta-ta, ra-ta-tah. 好吧，试试。All right, try it.哒哒,哒哒,哒哒，哒哒。And ra-ta-ta, ra-ta-ta, ra-ta-tah.太好啦，太好了。你不能保持简