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1、【国外英文文学】meanlife MONTY PYTHONS THE MEANING OF LIFE written by and starring GRAHAM CHAPMAN * JOHN CLEESE TERRY GILLIAM * TERRY JONES ERIC IDLE * MICHAEL PALIN directed by TERRY JONES animation & special sequences by TERRY GILLIAM produced by JOHN GOLDSTONEFirst Fish: Morning. Second Fish: Morning. Th
2、ird Fish: Morning. Fourth Fish: Morning. Third Fish: Morning. First Fish: Morning. Second Fish: Morning. Fourth Fish: Whats new? First Fish: Not much. Fifth and Sixth Fish:Morning. The Others: Morning, morning, morning.First Fish: Frank was just asking whats new. Fifth Fish: Was he? First Fish: Yeah
3、. Uh huh. Third Fish: Hey, look. Howards being eaten.Second Fish: Is he?They move forward to watch a waiter serving a large grilled fishto a large man. Second Fish: Makes you think doesnt it? Fourth Fish: I mean. whats it all about? Fifth Fish: Beats me.Why are we here, what is life all about?Is God
4、 really real, or is there some doubt?Well tonight were going to sort it all out,For tonight its the Meaning of Life.Whats the point of all these hoax?Is it the chicken and egg time, are we all just yolks?Or perhaps, were just one of Gods little jokes,Well ca cest the Meaning of Life.Is life just a g
5、ame where we make up the rulesWhile were searching for something to sayOr are we just simple spiralling coilsOf self-replicating DNA?What is life? What is our fate?Is there Heaven and Hell? Do we reincarnate?Is mankind evolving or is it too late?Well tonight heres the Meaning of Life.For millions th
6、is life is a sad vale of tearsSitting round with really nothing to sayWhile scientists say were just simply spiralling coilsOf self-replicating DNA.So just why, why are we here?And just what, what, what, what do we fear?Well ce soir, for a change, it will all be made clear,For this is the Meaning of
7、 Life - cest le sens de la vie -This is the Meaning of Life. THE MEANING OF LIFE - PART I THE MIRACLE OF BIRTHHospital corridor. A mother-to-be is being wheeled very fast downthe corridor on a trolley, which crashes through several sets ofdoors. A nurse with her slips into a consultants room, where
8、onedoctor is throwing beer mats through the crooked arm of another.First Doctor: One thousand and eight!Nurse: Mrs Moores contractions are more frequent, doctor.First Doctor: Good. Take her into the foetus-frightening room.Nurse: Right. They pass through the delivery room.First Doctor: Bit bare in h
9、ere today. isnt it?Second Doctor: Yeees.First Doctor: More apparatus please, nurse.Nurse: Yes doctor.First Doctor: Yes, the EEG, the BP monitor and the AVV, please.Second Doctor: And get the machine that goes Ping!First Doctor: And get the most expensive machines in case the administrator comes. App
10、aratus starts pouring into the room. The mother is lost behind various bits of equipment.First Doctor: Thats better, thats much better.Second Doctor: Yeeees. More like it.First Doctor: Still something missing, though. They think hard for a few moments.First and Second Doctors: Patient?Second Doctor:
11、 Wheres the patient?First Doctor: Anyone seen the patient?Second Doctor: Patient!Nurse: Ah, here she is.First Doctor: Bring her round.Second Doctor: Mind the machine!First Doctor: Come along!Second Doctor: Jump up there. Hup!First Doctor: Hallo! Now, dont you worry.Second Doctor: Well soon have you
12、cured.First Doctor: Leave it all to us, youll never know what hit you.First and Second Doctors: Goodbye, goodbye! Drips up! Injections.Second Doctor: Can I put the tube in the babys head?First Doctor: Only if I can do the epesiotomy.Second Doctor: Okay.First Doctor: Now, legs up. The legs are put in
13、 the stirrups, while the Doctors open the doors opposite.First and Second Doctors: Come on. Come on, all of you. Thats it, jolly good. Come on. Come on. Spread round there. A small horde enters, largely medical but with two Japanese with cameras and video equipment. The first doctor bumps into a man
14、.First Doctor: Who are you?Man: Im the husband.First Doctor: Im sorry. only people involved are allowed in here. The husband leaves.Mrs Moore: What do I do?Second Doctor: Yes?Mrs Moore: Whats that for? She points to a machine.First Doctor: Thats the machine that goes Ping! It goes Ping.First Doctor:
15、 You see. It means that your baby is still alive.Second Doctor: And thats the most expensive machine in the whole hospital.First Doctor: Yes, it cost over three quarters of a million pounds.Second Doctor: Arent you lucky!Nurse: The administrators here, doctor.First Doctor: Switch everything on! They
16、 do so. Everything flashes and beeps and thuds. Enter the administrator.Administrator: Morning, gentlemen.First and Second Doctors: Morning Mr Pycroft.Administrator: Very impressive. What are you doing this morning?First Doctor: Its a birth.Administrator: And what sort of thing is that?Second Doctor
17、: Well, thats when we take a new baby out of a ladys tummy.Administrator: Wonderful what we can do nowadays. Ah! I see you have the machine that goes Ping. This is my favourite. You see we lease this back to the company we sold it to. That way it comes under the monthly current budget and not the ca
18、pital account. They all applaud. Thank you, thank you. We try to do our best. Well, do carry on. He leaves.Nurse: Oh, the vulvas dilating, doctor.First Doctor: Yes, theres the head. Yes, four centimetres, five, six centimetres.First and Second Doctors: Lights! Amplify the ping machine. Masks up! Suc
19、tion! Eyes down for a full house! Here it comes! The baby arrives.First Doctor: And frighten it! They grab the baby, hold it upside down, slap it, poke tubes up its nose, hose it with cold water. Then the baby is placed on a wooden chopping block and the umbilicus severed with a chopper. And the rou
20、gh towels! It is dried with rough towels. Show it to the mother. It is shown to the mother.First and Second Doctors: Thats enough! Right. Sedate her, number the child. Measure it, blood type it and. *isolate* it.Nurse: OK, shows over.Mrs Moore: Is it a boy or a girl?First Doctor: Now I think its a l
21、ittle early to start imposing roles on it, dont you? Now a world of advice. You may find that you suffer for some time a totally irrational feeling of depression. PND is what we doctors call it. So its lots of happy pills for you, and you can find out all about the birth when you get home. Its avail
22、able on Betamax, VHS and Super 8. THE MEANING OF LIFE - THE MIRACLE OF BIRTH PART 2 THE THIRD WORLD YorkshireA northern street. Dad is marching home. We see his house. A storkflies above it, and drops a baby down the chimney.Dad: Oh bloody hell. Inside the house. A pregnant woman is at the sink. Wit
23、h a cry a new-born baby, complete with umbilical cord, drops from between her legs onto the floor.Mother: Get that would you, Deirdre.Girl: All right, Mum. The girl takes the baby. Mum carries on. Dad comes up to the door and pushes it open sadly. Inside there are at least forty children, of various
24、 ages, packed into the living room.Mum: with tray Whose teatime is it?Scores of Voices: Me, mum.Mum: Vincent, Tessa, Valerie, Janine, Martha, Andrew, Thomas, Walter, Pat, Linda, Michael, Evadne, Alice, Dominique, and Sasha. its your bedtime!Children: all together Oh, Mum!Mum: Dont argue. Laura, Alfr
25、ed, Nigel, Annie, Simon, Amanda.Dad: Wait. They all listen. Ive got something to tell the whole family. All stop. A buzz of excitement.Mum: to her nearest son Quick. go and get the others in, Gordon! Gordon goes out. Another twenty or so children enter the room. They squash in at the back as best th
26、ey can.Dad: The mills closed. Theres no more work, were destitute. Lots of cries of Oh no!. Cripes. Heck. from around the room. Ive got no option but to sell you all for scientific experiments. The children protest with heart-rending pleas. No no, thats the way it is my loves. Blame the Catholic chu
27、rch for not letting me wear one of those little rubber things. Oh theyve done some wonderful things in their time, they preserved the might and majesty, even the mystery of the Church of Rome, the sanctity of the sacrament and the indivisible oneness of the Trinity, but if theyd let me wear one of t
28、he little rubber things on the end of my cock we wouldnt be in the mess we are now.Little Boy: Couldnt Mummy have worn some sort of pessary?Dad: Not if were going to remain members of the fastest growing religion in the world, my boy. You see, we believe. well, let me put it like this. sings There a
29、re Jews in the world, There are Buddhists, There are Hindus and Mormons and then, There are those that follow Mohammed, But Ive never been one of them. Im a Roman Catholic, And have been since before I was born, And the one thing they say about Catholics, Is theyll take you as soon as youre warm. Yo
30、u dont have to be a six-footer, You dont have to have a great brain, You dont have to have any clothes on - Youre a Catholic the minute Dad came. Because. Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.Children: Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If
31、 a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate.Child: solo Let the heathen spill theirs, On the dusty ground, God shall make them pay for, Each sperm that cant be found.Children: Every sperm is wanted, Every sperm is good, Every sperm is needed, In your neighbourhood.Mum: solo Hindu, Taoist, Mormon, Spill
32、 theirs just anywhere, But God loves those who treat their Semen with more care.Men neighbours: peering out of toilets Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great,Women neighbours: on wall If a sperm is wasted,Children: God get quite irate.Priest: in church Every sperm is sacred,Bride and Groom: Eve
33、ry sperm is good.Nannies: Every sperm is needed.Cardinals: in prams In your neighbourhood!Children: Every sperm is useful, Every sperm is fine,Funeral Cortege: God needs everybodys,First Mourner: Mine!Lady Mourner: And mine!Corpse: And mine!Nun: solo Though the pagans spill theirs, Oer mountain, hil
34、l and plain,Various artefacts in a Roman Catholic Souvenir Shop: God shall strike them down for Each sperm thats spilt in vain.Everybody: Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is good, Every sperm is needed, In your neighbourhood.Even more than everybody, including two fire-eaters, a juggler, aclown at
35、 a piano and a stilt-walker riding a bicycle: Every sperm is sacred, Every sperm is great, If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate. Everybody cheers (including the fire-eaters, the juggler, the clown at the piano and the stilt-walker riding the bicycle). Fireworks go off, a Chinese dragon is brou
36、ght on and flags of all nations are unfurled overhead. Back inside.Dad: So you see my problem, little ones. I cant keep you here any longer.Shout from the back: Speak up!Dad: raising his voice I cant keep you here any longer. God has blessed us so much that I cant afford to feed you anymore.Boy: Cou
37、ldnt you have your balls cut off.?Dad: Its not as simple as that Nigel. God knows all. He would see through such a cheap trick. What we do to ourselves, we do to Him.Voice: You could have them pulled off in an accident? Other voices suggest ways his balls can be removed.Dad: No. no. children. I know
38、 youre trying to help but believe me, my minds made up. Ive given this long and careful thought. And its medical experiments for the lot of you. The children emerge singing a melancholy reprise of Every Sperm is Sacred. They are being watched from another Northern house.Mr Blackitt: Look at them, bl
39、oody Catholics. Filling the bloody world up with bloody people they cant afford to bloody feed.Mrs Blackitt: What are we dear?Mr Blackitt: Protestant, and fiercely proud of it.Mrs Blackitt: Why do they have so many children.?Mr Blackitt: Because every time they have sexual intercourse they have to h
40、ave a baby.Mrs Blackitt: But its the same with us, Harry.Mr Blackitt: What dyou mean.?Mrs Blackitt: Well I mean weve got two children and weve had sexual intercourse twice.Mr Blackitt: Thats not the point. We *could* have it any time we wanted.Mrs Blackitt: Really?Mr Blackitt: Oh yes. And, whats more, because we dont believe in all that Papist claptrap we can take precautions.Mrs Blackitt: What, you mean lock the door.?Mr Blackitt: No no, I mean,