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1、读后续写教学设计：瓶中求救本文中，Whitson一家前往峡谷漂流并预计漂流结束可从山上爬下回到安全地带。由于冬雪融化和春雨如注被困在峡谷内。尝试了各种办法均已失败告终，由于没有携带任何通讯工具，无奈之下只得把求救纸条塞进瓶子扔进河流中希望能够获救。本文以此次续写为例，探讨考场作文我们如何快速解读原文，梳理故事情节发展，并有效完成一个完整的故事创作。在最后的冲刺阶段，笔者认为续写更应该保证续写故事情节的完整性以及语言的地道。本节课的特色：1 分解故事情节进行；2 强调用词与人物心境相呼应；3 整理近期关于营救/遇险类话题续写素材简要教学步骤：第一步:定结尾。浏览全文和首段句子后定下整个故事结尾。
2、以首尾呼应的方式先给要写的故事写好结局。也是抓住了凸显矛盾解决的一个指向性的结局。第二步：读全文。 快速找到记叙文的6要素。明确故事中的时间、地点、事件、主要人物。该文的主要基调是基于Whitson 对于获救这件事情的回忆。所以，主要的故事叙事都靠Whitson来完成，其他角色基本只占用了少许笔墨。同时，原文并没有花大篇幅去描述人物的情绪细节，因此在续写段落中应保持这个特点，避免过多的描写人物情绪。第三步：创剧情。1 确定基本要素：根据每段段首句提示，确定每段的时间、地点、出场人物和关键道具（直升飞机和营救瓶子）2 分解故事情节：这篇续写关键的解题句是第二段的开头句，一个return便能提醒学
3、生在第一段必须要写的内容-直升飞机来了又走。第一段也是先定下结尾走向。再根据首句提示，写好下一个情节：筋疲力尽到营地度过难熬的一个晚上听到直升飞机来的声响呼救失败（讨论原因：天黑和水咆哮声）直升飞机又走了。此处可让学生讨论，引导学生去抓主要动作。其次结尾的定格可让学生自行选择-是由人物说出口还是通过场景描述来定格。 第二段：讨论提纲，切勿把故事复杂化。飞机来了发现他们仨他们被救得知自己如何获救点题结尾。 总而言之，任何记叙文的续写都不要把情节搞的太复杂，3-5句话就要把主要情节构思梳理清楚。因为表面上的3-5句话其实每一句话都伴随着细节描写进行铺垫并帮助共同推动情节发展。第四步：写细节。 根据
4、每段情节提示，梳理所需细节中的动作描写、情绪表达、和环境描写。环境描写应与人物心境相呼应。本文营救未成功前，情绪是焦虑惶恐，切勿去写风景秀丽使人心神驰往之类的。提供学生相对应的补充素材并引导其做出相应调整。提醒学生关注不同程度的高兴表达的用词选择。 第一段：细节一方面描述人物如何面对难熬的黑夜和飞机来了又走了情绪变化。此处穿插合适的夜色描写。配图帮助学生构建画面感。带着学生一句一句去添加细节和过渡句子。给予学生两种不同的结尾。 第二段：细节着重于直升飞机降落营救环节。此处需注意，在峡谷中飞机无处降落，唯一可行的营救方式便是救回飞机上。同样配图提示营救所需的动作描述。并需要通过合理的方式点出标题
5、的主题，引出这个关键的瓶子。第五步：互评学习。 分享更改过后自己的成品作文，并互相交换找出对方好的表达。整理近期关于营救/遇险类话题续写相关练习。题目：金丽衢十二校联考第二节：读后续写（满分25分）阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。Rescue in a BottleCurtis Whitson had rafted down the Arroyo Seco, a river in central California, several times before.This year, CurtisWhitsonknew the water-fall was comin
6、g. He figured he would get out of his raft into the shallow water, get down the rocks along ropes on either side of thefalls, and continue on his way, as he had on a previous trip.But this year was different. Heavy snow and spring rains had turned the usually manageable falls into somethingfierce. A
7、nd this year, instead of his friends, Whitsons companions were his girlfriend, Krystal Ramirez, and his 13-year-old son, Hunter. As the three of them approached the falls late in the afternoon of the third day of their camping trip, Whitson could tell from the increasing roar of water in the narrowi
8、ng canyon(峡谷) that they were in serious trouble. There was no way theyd be able to get down the rocks as planned.“The water wasjustroaring through there with tremendous force,” recalls Whitson, 45.They had no smart phone service, and they hadnt seen a single person in the past three days. And Whitso
9、n knew that theyd be sharing the ground there with rattlesnakes and mountainlions.As he was thinking what to do, Whitson hit on a bit of luck-he heard voices coming from the other side of the falls. Heyelled, but the sound of the rushing waterdrownedhim out.“We have to get these people amessage,” Wh
10、itson thought.He grabbed a stick and pulled out his pocketknife to carve “Help” in it. Then he tied a rope to it so the people would know it wasnt just any stick. He tried throwing it over the falls, but it floated away in the wrong direction.“Weve got to do something!” Whitson yelled to his son. “H
11、ave we got anything else?”Then he spotted his waterbottle. Whitson grabbed it and carved “Help!”on it. Ramirez also reminded him that he had a pen and paper in his backpack.Whitson knew it was a slimhope. But he wrote “6-15 19:00 We are stuck here the waterfall. Get help please” and pushed the note
12、into the bottle. This time, his throw over the waterfall was perfect.“All right, thats all we can do,” Whitson told Hunter.注意： 1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2.应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；3.续写部分分为两段，每段开头语已为你写好；4.续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Paragraph 1:It took 30 minutes to get back upstream to the beach where theyd had lunch. _Paragraph 2:The next morning, the helicopter returned. _学科网（北京）股份有限公司