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1、【英文文学】Negligible TalesA Bottomless GraveMy name is John Brenwalter. My father, a drunkard, had a patent for an invention, for making coffee-berries out of clay; but he was an honest man and would not himself engage in the manufacture. He was, therefore, only moderately wealthy, his royalties from hi
2、s really valuable invention bringing him hardly enough to pay his expenses of litigation with rogues guilty of infringement. So I lacked many advantages enjoyed by the children of unscrupulous and dishonorable parents, and had it not been for a noble and devoted mother, who neglected all my brothers
3、 and sisters and personally supervised my education, should have grown up in ignorance and been compelled to teach school. To be the favorite child of a good woman is better than gold.When I was nineteen years of age my father had the misfortune to die. He had always had perfect health, and his deat
4、h, which occurred at the dinner table without a moments warning, surprised no one more than himself. He had that very morning been notified that a patent had been granted him for a device to burst open safes by hydraulic pressure, without noise. The Commissioner of Patents had pronounced it the most
5、 ingenious, effective and generally meritorious invention that had ever been submitted to him, and my father had naturally looked forward to an old age of prosperity and honor. His sudden death was, therefore, a deep disappointment to him; but my mother, whose piety and resignation to the will of He
6、aven were conspicuous virtues of her character, was apparently less affected. At the close of the meal, when my poor fathers body had been removed from the floor, she called us all into an adjoining room and addressed us as follows:“My children, the uncommon occurrence that you have just witnessed i
7、s one of the most disagreeable incidents in a good mans life, and one in which I take little pleasure, I assure you. I beg you to believe that I had no hand in bringing it about. Of course,” she added, after a pause, during which her eyes were cast down in deep thought, “of course it is better that
8、he is dead.”She uttered this with so evident a sense of its obviousness as a self-evident truth that none of us had the courage to brave her surprise by asking an explanation. My mothers air of surprise when any of us went wrong in any way was very terrible to us. One day, when in a fit of peevish t
9、emper, I had taken the liberty to cut off the babys ear, her simple words, “John, you surprise me!” appeared to me so sharp a reproof that after a sleepless night I went to her in tears, and throwing myself at her feet, exclaimed: “Mother, forgive me for surprising you.” So now we all including the
10、one-eared baby felt that it would keep matters smoother to accept without question the statement that it was better, somehow, for our dear father to be dead. My mother continued:“I must tell you, my children, that in a case of sudden and mysterious death the law requires the Coroner to come and cut
11、the body into pieces and submit them to a number of men who, having inspected them, pronounce the person dead. For this the Coroner gets a large sum of money. I wish to avoid that painful formality in this instance; it is one which never had the approval of of the remains. John” here my mother turne
12、d her angel face to me-“you are an educated lad, and very discreet. You have now an opportunity to show your gratitude for all the sacrifices that your education has entailed upon the rest of us. John, go and remove the Coroner.”Inexpressibly delighted by this proof of my mothers confidence, and by
13、the chance to distinguish myself by an act that squared with my natural disposition, I knelt before her, carried her hand to my lips and bathed it with tears of sensibility. Before five oclock that afternoon I had removed the Coroner.I was immediately arrested and thrown into jail, where I passed a
14、most uncomfortable night, being unable to sleep because of the profanity of my fellow-prisoners, two clergymen, whose theological training had given them a fertility of impious ideas and a command of blasphemous language altogether unparalleled. But along toward morning the jailer, who, sleeping in
15、an adjoining room, had been equally disturbed, entered the cell and with a fearful oath warned the reverend gentlemen that if he heard any more swearing their sacred calling would not prevent him from turning them into the street. After that they moderated their objectionable conversation, substitut
16、ing an accordion, and I slept the peaceful and refreshing sleep of youth and innocence.The next morning I was taken before the Superior Judge, sitting as a committing magistrate, and put upon my preliminary examination. I pleaded not guilty, adding that the man whom I had murdered was a notorious De
17、mocrat. (My good mother was a Republican, and from early childhood I had been carefully instructed by her in the principles of honest government and the necessity of suppressing factional opposition.) The Judge, elected by a Republican ballot-box with a sliding bottom, was visibly impressed by the c
18、ogency of my plea and offered me a cigarette.“May it please your Honor,” began the District Attorney, “I do not deem it necessary to submit any evidence in this case. Under the law of the land you sit here as a committing magistrate. It is therefore your duty to commit. Testimony and argument alike
19、would imply a doubt that your Honor means to perform your sworn duty. That is my case.”My counsel, a brother of the deceased Coroner, rose and said: “May it please the Court, my learned friend on the other side has so well and eloquently stated the law governing in this case that it only remains for
20、 me to inquire to what extent it has been already complied with. It is true, your Honor is a committing magistrate, and as such it is your duty to commit what? That is a matter which the law has wisely and justly left to your own discretion, and wisely you have discharged already every obligation th
21、at the law imposes. Since I have known your Honor you have done nothing but commit. You have committed embracery, theft, arson, perjury, adultery, murder every crime in the calendar and every excess known to the sensual and depraved, including my learned friend, the District Attorney. You have done
22、your whole duty as a committing magistrate, and as there is no evidence against this worthy young man, my client, I move that he be discharged.”An impressive silence ensued. The Judge arose, put on the black cap and in a voice trembling with emotion sentenced me to life and liberty. Then turning to
23、my counsel he said, coldly but significantly:“I will see you later.”The next morning the lawyer who had so conscientiously defended me against a charge of murdering his own brother with whom he had a quarrel about some land had disappeared and his fate is to this day unknown.In the meantime my poor
24、fathers body had been secretly buried at midnight in the back yard of his late residence, with his late boots on and the contents of his late stomach unanalyzed. “He was opposed to display,” said my dear mother, as she finished tamping down the earth above him and assisted the children to litter the
25、 place with straw; “his instincts were all domestic and he loved a quiet life.”My mothers application for letters of administration stated that she had good reason to believe that the deceased was dead, for he had not come home to his meals for several days; but the Judge of the Crowbait Court as sh
26、e ever afterward contemptuously called it decided that the proof of death was insufficient, and put the estate into the hands of the Public Administrator, who was his son-in-law. It was found that the liabilities were exactly balanced by the assets; there was left only the patent for the device for
27、bursting open safes without noise, by hydraulic pressure and this had passed into the ownership of the Probate Judge and the Public Administrator as my dear mother preferred to spell it. Thus, within a few brief months a worthy and respectable family was reduced from prosperity to crime; necessity c
28、ompelled us to go to work.In the selection of occupations we were governed by a variety of considerations, such as personal fitness, inclination, and so forth. My mother opened a select private school for instruction in the art of changing the spots upon leopard-skin rugs; my eldest brother, George
29、Henry, who had a turn for music, became a bugler in a neighboring asylum for deaf mutes; my sister, Mary Maria, took orders for Professor Pumpernickels Essence of Latchkeys for flavoring mineral springs, and I set up as an adjuster and gilder of crossbeams for gibbets. The other children, too young
30、for labor, continued to steal small articles exposed in front of shops, as they had been taught.In our intervals of leisure we decoyed travelers into our house and buried the bodies in a cellar.In one part of this cellar we kept wines, liquors and provisions. From the rapidity of their disappearance
31、 we acquired the superstitious belief that the spirits of the persons buried there came at dead of night and held a festival. It was at least certain that frequently of a morning we would discover fragments of pickled meats, canned goods and such dbris, littering the place, although it had been secu
32、rely locked and barred against human intrusion. It was proposed to remove the provisions and store them elsewhere, but our dear mother, always generous and hospitable, said it was better to endure the loss than risk exposure: if the ghosts were denied this trifling gratification they might set on fo
33、ot an investigation, which would overthrow our scheme of the division of labor, by diverting the energies of the whole family into the single industry pursued by me we might all decorate the cross-beams of gibbets. We accepted her decision with filial submission, due to our reverence for her wordly
34、wisdom and the purity of her character.One night while we were all in the cellar none dared to enter it alone engaged in bestowing upon the Mayor of an adjoining town the solemn offices of Christian burial, my mother and the younger children, holding a candle each, while George Henry and I labored w
35、ith a spade and pick, my sister Mary Maria uttered a shriek and covered her eyes with her hands. We were all dreadfully startled and the Mayors obsequies were instantly suspended, while with pale faces and in trembling tones we begged her to say what had alarmed her. The younger children were so agi
36、tated that they held their candles unsteadily, and the waving shadows of our figures danced with uncouth and grotesque movements on the walls and flung themselves into the most uncanny attitudes. The face of the dead man, now gleaming ghastly in the light, and now extinguished by some floating shado
37、w, appeared at each emergence to have taken on a new and more forbidding expression, a maligner menace. Frightened even more than ourselves by the girls scream, rats raced in multitudes about the place, squeaking shrilly, or starred the black opacity of some distant corner with steadfast eyes, mere
38、points of green light, matching the faint phosphorescence of decay that filled the half-dug grave and seemed the visible manifestation of that faint odor of mortality which tainted the unwholesome air. The children now sobbed and clung about the limbs of their elders, dropping their candles, and we
39、were near being left in total darkness, except for that sinister light, which slowly welled upward from the disturbed earth and overflowed the edges of the grave like a fountain.Meanwhile my sister, crouching in the earth that had been thrown out of the excavation, had removed her hands from her fac
40、e and was staring with expanded eyes into an obscure space between two wine casks.“There it is! there it is!” she shrieked, pointing; “God in heaven! cant you see it?”And there indeed it was! a human figure, dimly discernible in the gloom a figure that wavered from side to side as if about to fall,
41、clutching at the wine-casks for support, had stepped unsteadily forward and for one moment stood revealed in the light of our remaining candles; then it surged heavily and fell prone upon the earth. In that moment we had all recognized the figure, the face and bearing of our father dead these ten mo
42、nths and buried by our own hands! our father indubitably risen and ghastly drunk!On the incidents of our precipitate flight from that horrible place on the extinction of all human sentiment in that tumultuous, mad scramble up the damp and mouldy stairs slipping, falling, pulling one another down and
43、 clambering over one anothers back the lights extinguished, babes trampled beneath the feet of their strong brothers and hurled backward to death by a mothers arm! on all this I do not dare to dwell. My mother, my eldest brother and sister and I escaped; the others remained below, to perish of their
44、 wounds, or of their terror some, perhaps, by flame. For within an hour we four, hastily gathering together what money and jewels we had and what clothing we could carry, fired the dwelling and fled by its light into the hills. We did not even pause to collect the insurance, and my dear mother said
45、on her death-bed, years afterward in a distant land, that this was the only sin of omission that lay upon her conscience. Her confessor, a holy man, assured her that under the circumstances Heaven would pardon the neglect.About ten years after our removal from the scenes of my childhood I, then a pr
46、osperous forger, returned in disguise to the spot with a view to obtaining, if possible, some treasure belonging to us, which had been buried in the cellar. I may say that I was unsuccessful: the discovery of many human bones in the ruins had set the authorities digging for more. They had found the
47、treasure and had kept it for their honesty. The house had not been rebuilt; the whole suburb was, in fact, a desolation. So many unearthly sights and sounds had been reported thereabout that nobody would live there. As there was none to question nor molest, I resolved to gratify my filial piety by g
48、azing once more upon the face of my beloved father, if indeed our eyes had deceived us and he was still in his grave. I remembered, too, that he had always worn an enormous diamond ring, and never having seen it nor heard of it since his death, I had reason to think he might have been buried in it.
49、Procuring a spade, I soon located the grave in what had been the backyard and began digging. When I had got down about four feet the whole bottom fell out of the grave and I was precipitated into a large drain, falling through a long hole in its crumbling arch. There was no body, nor any vestige of one.Unable to get out of the excavation, I crept through the drain, and having with some difficulty removed a mass of charred rub