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1、精选学习资料 - - - - - - - - - 读书之法 , 在循序而渐进 , 熟读而精思雅思作文评判标准及参考范文雅摸索试的评分标准包括四个方面：Task ResponseCoherence and CohesionLexical ResourceGrammatical Range and Accuracy雅思的 4Gates 就是其评分标准,分别为 “内容”,“规律结构 ”,“语法的精确 使用和范畴 ”以及 “词汇量 ”四个标准；依据下面的全面修改案例, 读者可以清晰的 看到一篇 5.5 分的雅思范文是如何在修改之前蜕变成为高分作品；Cambridge 8 Test 2Nowadays
2、the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make.Has this become a positive or negative development.原文：Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology.Yes, the
3、 technology has changed the peoples interaction in very enhanced manner. Earlier people use to wait and try to find easy way to contact their friends or relatives leaving far. In past there was no quick technology to contact or to establish any communication between one person to another person. The
4、 drawback with past communication systems was that it were very slow and were time taking process such as telegrams, letter etc. People used to afraid to write their personal feedbacks or things to their love ones due to insecure medium of communication. When it comes to 名师归纳总结 - - - - - - -第 1 页,共
5、5 页精选学习资料 - - - - - - - - - 读书之法 , 在循序而渐进 , 熟读而精思professional level, the privacy and accuracy should be maintain but, to that time there were no secure communications.Now the things have changed around, people from far distance contact their loves one in an easy and quick ways which improves the int
6、eraction level between two person. Quality the level of the interaction between people to people, has improved because the people are equipped with high-tec technology which enhances the communication. There are many many medium which are available now such as internet, called cards etc.The technolo
7、gy has provided the mobility faster which help people to talk or to interact at any time anywhere in the world.People can contact their friend or relatives any time they want. It has become so easier and feriendly to be in touch with your feriends, relatives even with the unknown people.原文翻译：今日,由于科技
8、的进展人们相互沟通的方式也发生了变化；是的；技术改善了人们的沟通方式； 以前人们总是期望找到便利的方法联系居住在异地的亲朋好友； 以前没有高效的技术帮忙人们沟通沟通；以往的通讯系统的问题是速度慢,费时间,比如：电报和信件等；在过去,人们不敢给爱人写一些私密的事情由于担忧通信不够安全；但是在当时根本没有安全的通信可言；专业的通信技术应当是安全的、 精确的,现在,这些事情已经转变了, 住在远处的人们利用一种高效的方式联系他们的爱人；这些方式改善了人们之间的沟通方式；由于人们使用了改善沟通的高科技,所以他们沟通的方式已经得到改善；现在有了许多这类媒体,比如：国际互 联网、语音卡等；这些技术供应了更快
9、的移动性, 帮忙人们在任何时间、 世界上的任何地方与 他人沟通；现在人们能够在任何时间联系亲朋好友；得更简单了；和伴侣、家人以及生疏人的沟通变注：上述的习作存在语法错误和表达错误,因此对应的翻译也有肯定出入； Sample Answer: 名师归纳总结 - - - - - - -第 2 页,共 5 页精选学习资料 - - - - - - - - - 读书之法 , 在循序而渐进 , 熟读而精思This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 5.5 score. Here is the examiners comment:这
10、是一位考生写的5.5 分作文；下面是考官的评语；The topic introduction has been copied from the task and is deducted from the word count. This leaves the answer underlength at 236 words, so the candidate loses marks for this. 文章的开篇是从题目中抄来的,所以不能算字数；剩下的只有 236 个字,考生因此失分；This answer addresses both questions, but the first is n
11、ot well covered in terms of how actual relationships have changed. Nevertheless, there is a clear opinion that the effects have been positive and relationships have improved, with some relevant ideas to support this. There is a general progression to the argument, with some effective use of time mar
12、kers and linkers. There is also some repetition, however. Paragraphing is not always logical, and ideas are not always well linked. A range of vocabulary that is relevant to the topic is used, including some precise and natural expressions. There are quite a lot of mistakes in word form, word choice
13、 or spelling, but these do not usually reduce understanding. A variety of sentence type is used, but not always accurately. Errors in grammar and punctuation are distracting at times, but only rarely cause problems for the reader. 此文回答了两个问题, 但是在回答第一个问题时, 并没有充分争论问题中关于现实中的关系是如何变化的；但是,文章展现了清晰的观点 这些影响都是
14、好的,而且这些关系都有所改善并配以相关的观点支持；文章的论证循序渐进,使用了许多表示时间的提示词以及连接词,但是个别有些重复；分段不够规律,而且一些观点没有充分的关联； 使用了一些与主题相关的词汇,包括精确并自然 的表达；虽然有一些词性、词义以及拼写错误,但是并不会太影响懂得；使用了 各种句型, 但是许多不太准； 语法错误和标点错误有时会干扰懂得,但是不会给 读者产生太大的麻烦；修改看法：本文共有两个问题,其中第一个问题在考生的作品中被忽视了；In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make.
15、 对于这样的问题,可以单独使用一段来回答；参考如下：Model: 思路 Communication Technologies not only have great effects on the 问题 relations living apart but also have changed the way people befriend. Specifically, the employment of the mobile phone and webs helps friends and relatives keep in touch with each other and exchange
16、emotions anywhere anytime; the popularity of webs and the use of 名师归纳总结 - - - - - - -第 3 页,共 5 页精选学习资料 - - - - - - - - - 读书之法 , 在循序而渐进 , 熟读而精思online chatting tools ease people to meet some new people who have their same ideas or characteristics as those of them. 大意：通讯技术不但对身处异地的亲朋好友之间有着庞大的影响,而且也在很大程度
17、上转变了人们结识新伴侣的方式； 详细来说, 手机和网络的使用使得亲朋好友之 间可以随时随地沟通消息、 传递情感； 网络的普及以及谈天软件的使用让 许多人更简单熟悉一些和他们志同道合或是有着共同点的素未谋面的新 伴侣；流畅、连贯 性问见下文题语法 问题 : 见下文词汇 问题：见下文修改后：Nowadays,.It is true that technology has shifted peoples communicative ways. 利用 It is true that 的句式突出后面的大事 ;Change 和 shift 是同义词替 换;the way people interact 和
18、 communicative way 是同义词替换； 这样的变化可 以防止引用题目中的原词； 拒绝非正式的用法； The technology has changed the peoples interaction in very enhanced manner. Earlier people used前后时态必需一样； to wait and try to find easy ways 名词单复数 to contact their friends or relatives leaving far. In the past, there was no 词汇使用不当,应当改成 effective
19、technology to contact others or to establish any communication between two people. And 重要的连接词,表示本句和上一句共同说明为什么“人们始终在期望找到更有效的通讯方式； ” the drawback ofthe past communication systems was that they 指代不清,这里指代的是 communication systemswere too 表示 “太”；slow and were time-consuming 表示“费时” , including 这是应当使用分词形式,表
20、示对主句的 communication ways的详细描述；the telegrams, the letter etc. Not only that, 这里需要连接词 people used to be afraid to write their personal feedbacks or things to their loved ones because of because of 强调 “外 因” ;due to 强调“依据” information security 依据上下文懂得,此处应当表达的 是“信息安全 ” of communication. They worried thei
21、r letters might be stolen or 名师归纳总结 read by some strangers. 这里可以连续描述人们的担忧； 第 4 页,共 5 页- - - - - - -精选学习资料 - - - - - - - - - 读书之法 , 在循序而渐进 , 熟读而精思However ,上文主要争论过去的情形, 而接下来将争论现在的变化 now the things have changed around.必需防止使用 “,”连接两个句子；正确的处理方法是,要么采纳断句的方法, 要么添加连词；People in a long distance contact their l
22、ovesd one in effective and efficient ways, which improve 主谓一样, which 代替 ways ；the interaction level between two persons. Quality 用词重复 of the interaction between people and people主谓之间不能添加 “,”；has been improved 这里使用被动是由于沟通质量的提升是由于技术的进展；because they are equipped with high-techdevices which enhances the
23、ir communication. There are many 重复 mediummediaavailable such as internet, called cards etc.So the technology has provided better mobility , which help people to talk or keep in touch with each other at any time anywhere in the world. 不应当单独成段,应当和上一段结合在一起；本句应当被删除,由于没有提出任何新的观名师归纳总结 点,并且与上文的句子特别重复； 第 5 页,共 5 页- - - - - - -