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1、精选优质文档-倾情为你奉上英语幽默小故事Where is the egg?Teacher:Can you make a sentence with the word egg?Student:Yes.I ate a piece of cake yesterday.Teacher:Then where is the “egg?Student:In the cake,Sir.鸡蛋在哪里？老师：你能用“鸡蛋”一词造句吗？学生：可以。我昨天吃了一块蛋糕。老师：“鸡蛋”在哪？学生：在蛋糕里，先生Son: Dad, give me a dime. Father: Son, dont you think yo
2、ure getting too big to be forever begging for dimes? Son: I guess youre right, Dad, Give me a dollar, will you? 儿子：爸爸，给我一角钱。父亲：儿子，你不认为你已经长大了，不该再老是一角一角地要钱了(该自立了)，不是吗？儿子：爸爸，我想你是对的，那给我一块钱行吗？Im sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boys tooth .” “Twenty d ollars! W
3、hy ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!” “Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .” “对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。” “20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。” “是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。” Ten Candies Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you h
4、ave ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?” “Ten.” Jim says. “Then,” Mother asks. “Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isnt it right?”十块糖妈妈问儿子：“吉姆，如果你有10块糖，吃了4块，那你还有几块糖？” “10块。”吉姆说。 “10块？”妈妈问。 “是的，妈妈。因为4块在我的肚
5、子里面，6块在肚子外面，4加6等于10，不对吗？”Its Good to Admit a Fault John is not a “good” student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again. “John!” Teacher says angrily. “What? Whats wrong?” John is awaken. “Why do you make a face? Its classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says. “No one is laug
6、hing.” Teacher says. “No, its not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset.“Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it.认错约翰并不是个“好”学生。他总是在上课的时候睡觉。今天他又睡着了。 “约翰！”老师生气地喊他。“什么？出什么事了？”约翰醒了。 “你为什么要做鬼脸？这是教室！看看！同学们都在笑！”老师生气地说。“没有人在笑呀。”
7、其他同学笑声地嘀咕。 “不，不是我。我没有做鬼脸。刚才我睡着了。”约翰感到不安。“嗯，还不错。你承认自己的错误，还是给好孩子”老师为此感到满意。Adding Feet to a Snake One day, Mr. Lion holds a party. Many animals come and drink a lot of wine. At last there is a pot of wine. Who can drink it? They drink out an idea and decide to have a match-Draw a snake. If you finish f
8、irst, you can get it. Soon Mr.Wolf finishes drawing. “Yeah, Ive finished. Im No.1,” he says. But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet and my snake.” At the time, Mr. Gorilla also finishes. He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isnt a snake. Snakes have no feet. I get
9、 the wine.”画蛇添足一天， 狮子先生举行一场聚会，许多动物都来了，他们喝很多酒。最后只剩一壶酒了。让谁喝呢？它们想了想，有个主意。它们比赛画蛇，谁最快画好，谁就喝这壶酒。不一会，狼先生画好了。“哈，我画好了，我是第一个。”它说。可是它又画了起来，它还说：“再给它加几只脚吧。”这是猩猩先生也画好了。它拿起那酒壶喝起来。一边喝一边说：“那不是蛇，蛇是没有脚的，我赢了这壶酒。”Covering Ones Ears While Stealing a Bell Mr. Wang thinks he is clever, but he always does foolish things. On
10、e day he sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door. “Oh! How nice! I will take it home.” He thinks, “What can I do?” After a while he has a “good” idea. “Aha! I have an idea now. I can plug my ears. Then I will not hear the ring when I take off the bell.” Then he does so. But as soon as he takes of
11、f the bell, the owner opens the door. “What ate you doing?” the owner says angrily.掩耳盗铃王先生总以为自己很聪明，实际上他总干傻事。一天，他看见一户人家的门头有个很漂亮的铃铛。“啊，真漂亮啊！我要把它拿回家去。”他自言自语道：“我该怎么做呢？”过了一会儿他想到了一个“好”主意。“啊哈！我有办法了！我把耳朵堵上，拿铃铛的时候就听不见铃声了。”于是他就这样做了。可是他刚拿下铃铛，屋子的主人就打开门，怒气冲冲地说：“你在干什么？”Look at the Sky from the Bottom of a Well Th
12、ere is a frog. He lives in a well and he never goes out of the well. He thinks the sky is as big as the mouth of the well.One day a crow comes to the well. He sees the frog and says, “Frog, lets have a talk.” Then the frog asks, “Where are you from?” “I fly from the sky,” the crow says. The frog fee
13、ls surprised and says, “The sky is only as big as the mouth of the well. How do you fly from the sky?” The crow says, “The sky is very big. You always stay in the well, so you dont know the world is big.” The frog says, “I dont believe.” But the crow says, “You can come out and have a look by yourse
14、lf.” So the frog comes out from the well. He is very surprised. How big the world is!坐井观天有一只青蛙住在井底，他从来没有去过井外面。他以为天空就和井口一样大。一天， 一只乌鸦飞到井边，看见青蛙，就对它说：“青蛙，咱们聊聊吧。”青蛙就问他：“你从哪里来？”“我从天上上来。青蛙惊讶了，就说：“天空就只有这井口这么大，你怎么会从天上飞老呢？”乌鸦说：“天空很大。只不过你一直呆在井里，所有不知道世界很大。”青蛙说：“我不相信。”乌鸦说：“你可以出来，自己看看嘛。”于是青蛙来到井外。他十分惊讶，原来世界这么大！The
15、 Clever King Solomon Long, long ago, there was a king. Solomon was his name. He was very clever. In his country, there were two women. They lived in the same house and each had a child. One night, one of the babies died. The dead babys mother took the other womans baby, and put it in her own bed. Th
16、e next morning , they had a quarrel. “No, this is my baby!” The dead is yours!”Each one wanted the living baby. So they went to see King Solomon.“Bring me a knife, cut the child into two and five each woman one half.” said the King.“Oh. Your Majesty! Give her my baby. Please dont kill my baby!”Then
17、King Solomon pointed to the woman in teas and said, “Give the baby to her. She is the mother.”聪明的国王所罗门很久很久之前，有一位国王，他的名字叫所罗门，他非常聪明。在他的国家里，有两位妇女，她们住在同一间房子里。各有一个婴儿。一天夜里，其中一个婴儿死了。他的妈妈抱另一位妇女的小孩，把他放在自己的床上。第二天早上，他们发生了争吵。 “不，这是我的孩子！这个死的是你的！”他们都想要这个活着的孩子，于是她们去见所罗门国王。“给我拿把刀来，把这个孩子切成两半，没人一半。”国王判决道。“哦，陛下，把我的孩子给
18、她吧。请不要杀了我的孩子！”一位母亲哭喊道。于是所罗门指着流泪的妇女说：“把孩子给她，她是真正的母亲。”Two Holes for the Dogs My uncle has two dogs. One is big and the other is small. He likes them very much. One day, Mr. Smith came to visit him. When the friend saw two holes in the door, a large hole and a small hole, he was surprised and said, “My
19、 dear friend, why are there two holes in your door?” “Let my dogs come in and come out, of course,” Mr. Smith asked. “But why are there two holes? One is enough!” “But how can the big dog go through the small hole?” my uncle said. Sometimes a clever man may make such mistakes.两个狗洞我的叔叔有两条狗。一只是大的，另一只是小狗的。他很喜欢它们。有一天，史密斯先生来看他。当这个朋友看见门口上有连个洞，一个是大洞和一个小洞时，他感到吃惊并说，“我亲爱的朋友，为什么你的门上有连个洞？”我的叔叔回答说：“当然是让我的两条狗进出了。 ” 史密斯先生问到：“ 为什么门上要两个洞呢？一个就足够了。” 我叔叔说：“大狗怎能走小洞呢？”有时聪明的人可能会犯这样的错误。专心-专注-专业