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1、【外国文学】暮光之城：暮色 TwilightPreface I'd never given much thought to how I would die though I'd had reasonenough in the last few months but even if I had, I would not haveimagined it like this.I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes ofthe hunter, and he looked pleasantly
2、 back at me.Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone Iloved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something.I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now.But, terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision.When li
3、fe offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it'snot reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me.我从未仔细思考过，我将如何死去尽管在最近的几个月里我有足够的理由去考虑这个问题但即使我想过，我也想象不到它将会像这样发生。 我屏住呼吸，盯着长长的房间对面，捕猎者黑色的双眼。他愉快地回视我。 显然，这是一种令人愉快的死亡
4、方式：在别人的地方，我所爱的人的地方死去。甚至是，高尚的。这应该是值得的。 我知道如果我不回福克斯，我现在就不会面临着死亡。但是，尽管我十分恐惧，我依然无法让自己后悔这个决定。如果命运赐予你的美梦，远远超出了你所期待的那样美好，那么当它结束时你没有任何理由感到悲伤。 捕猎者温柔地微笑着，漫步过来给我最后的死亡。Chapter 1 First Sight My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. It wasseventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect,
5、cloudless blue. I waswearing my favorite shirt sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearingit as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a parka.In the Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington State, a small townnamed Forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds. It rains onthis inconsequent
6、ial town more than any other place in the United Statesof America. It was from this town and its gloomy, omnipresent shade thatmy mother escaped with me when I was only a few months old. It was inthis town that I'd been compelled to spend a month every summer until Iwas fourteen. That was the ye
7、ar I finally put my foot down; these pastthree summers, my dad, Charlie, vacationed with me in California for twoweeks instead.It was to Forks that I now exiled myself an action that I took withgreat horror. I detested Forks.I loved Phoenix. I loved the sun and the blistering heat. I loved thevigoro
8、us, sprawling city."Bella," my mom said to me the last of a thousand times before I goton the plane. "You don't have to do this."My mom looks like me, except with short hair and laugh lines. I felt aspasm of panic as I stared at her wide, childlike eyes. How could I leavemy l
9、oving, erratic, harebrained mother to fend for herself? Of course shehad Phil now, so the bills would probably get paid, there would be foodin the refrigerator, gas in her car, and someone to call when she gotlost, but still"I want to go," I lied. I'd always been a bad liar, but I'
10、d been sayingthis lie so frequently lately that it sounded almost convincing now."Tell Charlie I said hi.""I will.""I'll see you soon," she insisted. "You can come home whenever you want I'll come right back as soon as you need me."But I could see the
11、sacrifice in her eyes behind the promise."Don't worry about me," I urged. "It'll be great. I love you, Mom."She hugged me tightly for a minute, and then I got on the plane, and shewas gone.It's a four-hour flight from Phoenix to Seattle, another hour in a smallplane u
12、p to Port Angeles, and then an hour drive back down to Forks.Flying doesn't bother me; the hour in the car with Charlie, though, I wasa little worried about.Charlie had really been fairly nice about the whole thing. He seemedgenuinely pleased that I was coming to live with him for the first time
13、with any degree of permanence. He'd already gotten me registered for highschool and was going to help me get a car.But it was sure to be awkward with Charlie. Neither of us was what anyonewould call verbose, and I didn't know what there was to say regardless. Iknew he was more than a little
14、confused by my decision like my motherbefore me, I hadn't made a secret of my distaste for Forks.When I landed in Port Angeles, it was raining. I didn't see it as an omen just unavoidable. I'd already said my goodbyes to the sun.Charlie was waiting for me with the cruiser. This I was exp
15、ecting, too.Charlie is Police Chief Swan to the good people of Forks. My primarymotivation behind buying a car, despite the scarcity of my funds, wasthat I refused to be driven around town in a car with red and blue lightson top. Nothing slows down traffic like a cop.Charlie gave me an awkward, one-
16、armed hug when I stumbled my way off theplane."It's good to see you, Bells," he said, smiling as he automaticallycaught and steadied me. "You haven't changed much. How's Renée?""Mom's fine. It's good to see you, too, Dad." I wasn't allowed t
17、o callhim Charlie to his face.I had only a few bags. Most of my Arizona clothes were too permeable forWashington. My mom and I had pooled our resources to supplement my winterwardrobe, but it was still scanty. It all fit easily into the trunk ofthe cruiser."I found a good car for you, really ch
18、eap," he announced when we werestrapped in."What kind of car?" I was suspicious of the way he said "good car foryou" as opposed to just "good car.""Well, it's a truck actually, a Chevy.""Where did you find it?""Do you remember Billy Bla
19、ck down at La Push?" La Push is the tiny Indianreservation on the coast."No.""He used to go fishing with us during the summer," Charlie prompted.That would explain why I didn't remember him. I do a good job of blockingpainful, unnecessary things from my memory."He&#
20、39;s in a wheelchair now," Charlie continued when I didn't respond, "sohe can't drive anymore, and he offered to sell me his truck cheap.""What year is it?" I could see from his change of expression that thiswas the question he was hoping I wouldn't ask."Wel
21、l, Billy's done a lot of work on the engine it's only a few yearsold, really."I hoped he didn't think so little of me as to believe I would give upthat easily. "When did he buy it?""He bought it in 1984, I think.""Did he buy it new?""Well, no. I th
22、ink it was new in the early sixties or late fifties atthe earliest," he admitted sheepishly."Ch Dad, I don't really know anything about cars. I wouldn't be able tofix it if anything went wrong, and I couldn't afford a mechanic""Really, Bella, the thing runs great. The
23、y don't build them like thatanymore."The thing, I thought to myself it had possibilities as a nickname, atthe very least."How cheap is cheap?" After all, that was the part I couldn't compromiseon."Well, honey, I kind of already bought it for you. As a homecoming gift.&quo
24、t;Charlie peeked sideways at me with a hopeful expression.Wow. Free."You didn't need to do that, Dad. I was going to buy myself a car.""I don't mind. I want you to be happy here." He was looking ahead at theroad when he said this. Charlie wasn't comfortable with expre
25、ssing hisemotions out loud. I inherited that from him. So I was looking straightahead as I responded."That's really nice, Dad. Thanks. I really appreciate it." No need to addthat my being happy in Forks is an impossibility. He didn't need tosuffer along with me. And I never looked
26、a free truck in the mouth orengine."Well, now, you're welcome," he mumbled, embarrassed by my thanks.We exchanged a few more comments on the weather, which was wet, and thatwas pretty much it for Conversation. We stared out the windows in silence.It was beautiful, of course; I couldn&#
27、39;t deny that. Everything was green:the trees, their trunks covered with moss, their branches hanging with acanopy of it, the ground covered with ferns. Even the air filtered downgreenly through the leaves.It was too green an alien planet.Eventually we made it to Charlie's. He still lived in th
28、e small,two-bedroom house that he'd bought with my mother in the early days oftheir marriage. Those were the only kind of days their marriage had theearly ones. There, parked on the street in front of the house that neverchanged, was my new well, new to me truck. It was a faded red color,with bi
29、g, rounded fenders and a bulbous cab. To my intense surprise, Iloved it. I didn't know if it would run, but I could see myself in it.Plus, it was one of those solid iron affairs that never gets damaged the kind you see at the scene of an accident, paint unscratched,surrounded by the pieces of th
30、e foreign car it had destroyed."Wow, Dad, I love it! Thanks!" Now my horrific day tomorrow would be justthat much less dreadful. I wouldn't be faced with the choice of eitherwalking two miles in the rain to school or accepting a ride in theChief's cruiser."I'm glad you lik
31、e it," Charlie said gruffly, embarrassed again.It took only one trip to get all my stuff upstairs. I got the westbedroom that faced out over the front yard. The room was familiar; it hadbeen belonged to me since I was born. The wooden floor, the light bluewalls, the peaked ceiling, the yellowed
32、 lace curtains around the window these were all a part of my childhood. The only changes Charlie had evermade were switching the crib for a bed and adding a desk as I grew. Thedesk now held a secondhand computer, with the phone line for the modemstapled along the floor to the nearest phone jack. Thi
33、s was a stipulationfrom my mother, so that we could stay in touch easily. The rocking chairfrom my baby days was still in the corner.There was only one small bathroom at the top of the stairs, which I wouldhave to share with Charlie. I was trying not to dwell too much on thatfact.One of the best thi
34、ngs about Charlie is he doesn't hover. He left mealone to unpack and get settled, a feat that would have been altogetherimpossible for my mother. It was nice to be alone, not to have to smileand look pleased; a relief to stare dejectedly out the window at thesheeting rain and let just a few tear
35、s escape. I wasn't in the mood to goon a real crying jag. I would save that for bedtime, when I would have tothink about the coming morning.Forks High School had a frightening total of only three hundred andfifty-seven now fifty-eight students; there were more than sevenhundred people in my juni
36、or class alone back home. All of the kids herehad grown up together their grandparents had been toddlers together.I would be the new girl from the big city, a curiosity, a freak.Maybe, if I looked like a girl from Phoenix should, I could work this tomy advantage. But physically, I'd never fit in
37、 anywhere. I should be tan,sporty, blond a volleyball player, or a cheerleader, perhaps all thethings that go with living in the valley of the sun.Instead, I was ivory-skinned, without even the excuse of blue eyes or redhair, despite the constant sunshine. I had always been slender, but softsomehow,
38、 obviously not an athlete; I didn't have the necessary hand-eyecoordination to play sports without humiliating myself and harming bothmyself and anyone else who stood too close.When I finished putting my clothes in the old pine dresser, I took my bagof bathroom necessities and went to the commun
39、al bathroom to clean myselfup after the day of travel. I looked at my face in the mirror as Ibrushed through my tangled, damp hair. Maybe it was the light, butalready I looked sallower, unhealthy. My skin could be pretty it wasvery clear, almost translucent-looking but it all depended on color. Ihad
40、 no color here.Facing my pallid reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit that Iwas lying to myself. It wasn't just physically that I'd never fit in. Andif I couldn't find a niche in a school with three thousand people, whatwere my chances here?I didn't relate well to people my
41、 age. Maybe the truth was that I didn'trelate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to thananyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactlythe same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same thingsthrough my eyes that the rest of the world was
42、 seeing through theirs.Maybe there was a glitch in my brain. But the cause didn't matter. Allthat mattered was the effect. And tomorrow would be just the beginning.I didn't sleep well that night, even after I was done crying. Theconstant whooshing of the rain and wind across the roof wouldn&
43、#39;t fadeinto the background. I pulled the faded old quilt over my head, and lateradded the pillow, too. But I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight,when the rain finally settled into a quieter drizzle.Thick fog was all I could see out my window in the morning, and I couldfeel the claustrop
44、hobia creeping up on me. You could never see the skyhere; it was like a cage.Breakfast with Charlie was a quiet event. He wished me good luck atschool. I thanked him, knowing his hope was wasted. Good luck tended toavoid me. Charlie left first, off to the police station that was his wifeand family.
45、After he left, I sat at the old square oak table in one ofthe three unmatching chairs and examined his small kitchen, with its darkpaneled walls, bright yellow cabinets, and white linoleum floor. Nothingwas changed. My mother had painted the cabinets eighteen years ago in anattempt to bring some sun
46、shine into the house. Over the small fireplacein the adjoining handkerchief-sized family room was a row of pictures.First a wedding picture of Charlie and my mom in Las Vegas, then one ofthe three of us in the hospital after I was born, taken by a helpfulnurse, followed by the procession of my schoo
47、l pictures up to lastyear's. Those were embarrassing to look at I would have to see what Icould do to get Charlie to put them somewhere else, at least while I wasliving here.It was impossible, being in this house, not to realize that Charlie hadnever gotten over my mom. It made me uncomfortable.
48、I didn't want to be too early to school, but I couldn't stay in the houseanymore. I donned my jacket which had the feel of a biohazard suit and headed out into the rain.It was just drizzling still, not enough to soak me through immediately asI reached for the house key that was always hidden
49、 under the eaves by thedoor, and locked up. The sloshing of my new waterproof boots wasunnerving. I missed the normal crunch of gravel as I walked. I couldn'tpause and admire my truck again as I wanted; I was in a hurry to get outof the misty wet that swirled around my head and clung to my hair
50、undermy hood.Inside the truck, it was nice and dry. Either Billy or Charlie hadobviously cleaned it up, but the tan upholstered seats still smelledfaintly of tobacco, gasoline, and peppermint. The engine started quickly,to my relief, but loudly, roaring to life and then idling at top volume.Well, a
51、truck this old was bound to have a flaw. The antique radioworked, a plus that I hadn't expected.Finding the school wasn't difficult, though I'd never been there before.The school was, like most other things, just off the highway. It was notobvious that it was a school; only the sign, which declared it to be theForks High School, made me