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1、-雅思写作利用代词解决衔接难题-第 5 页许多学生在攻克了词汇语法以及审题难关后，雅思(课程)写作还是5-5.5分，很大一部分原因是由于“Coherence and Cohesion(衔接和连贯)”的掌握欠佳。花了大量的时间去记忆类似于consequently, admittedly的关联词，恨不得每一句前面都加一个自己觉得合适的连接词。新东方在线谢爽老师指出这种做法并不符合评分标准，会被定义为过度使用衔接成分，合适的运用方式应该是这样的：剑桥雅思真题9的一篇考官范文，一起来看看“连贯和衔接”的使用。题目：Some people say that the best way to improve
2、 public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.A problem of modern societies is the declining level of health in the general p
3、opulation, with conflicting views on how to tackle this worrying trend.通过代词this的使用使得“现象”与大众对现象的看法产生了衔接，清晰简洁，不留痕迹做到了评分准则中的“uses cohesion in such a way that it attracts no attention”Onepossible solution is to provide more sports facilities to encourage a more lifestyle.通过 “one possible”写出了后文还会提到提到其他的解
4、决方案，从而体现了后文在分段和内容上与总观点的对应，即评分准则中的”skilfully manages paragraphing“Advocates ofthis believe that todays sedentary lifestyle and stressful working通过this的使用把主体段与“首段”紧密联系起来conditions mean that physical activity is no longer part of either our work or our leisure time. If there were easy-to-reach local sp
5、orts centres, we would be more通过对于关键词的修饰进一步论证了论点中涉及的关键重心内容，体现了内容的深化，论据与观点的衔接(即增多“sports facilities”的第一个原因：需要让大众更方便做运动)likely to make exercise a regular part of our lives, rather than just collapsing in front of a screen every evening. The variety of sports that could be offered would作用同上“通过对于关键词的修饰进
6、一步论证了论点中涉及的关键重心内容，体现了内容的深化，论据与观点的衔接”(即增多“sports facilities”的第二个原因：需要满足更多人的需求)，两个原因之间并没有生硬的使用“Firstly, Secondly”cater for all ages, levels of fitness and interests: those with painful memories of PE at school might be happier in the swimming pool than on the football pitch.However, there may be bette
7、r ways of tackling this problem. Interest in sport is通过代词”this ”的使用，是的此段观点与题目相联系(即在此段会写出“other possible ways”),并且与上一段形成并列关系not universal, and additional facilities might simply attract the already fit, not those who most need them. Physical activity could be encouraged relatively cheaply, for exampl
8、e by installing exercise equipment in parks, as my local council has done. This has the added benefit that parents and children often use them“This”代替前面的措施，前后句之间因此产生紧密联系together just for fun, which develops a positive attitude to exercise at an early age.“which”代替前面所描述的“增加equipment”的直接影响，使主句和从句，直接影响
9、和间接影响产生联系As well as physical activity, high tax penalties could be imposed on high-fat foodproducts, tobacco and alcohol, as excessive consumption of any of these(普通连接词“as”后接原因) (“these”代词的使用加强主从句之间的联系)contributes to poor health. Even improving public transport would help: it takes longer to walk to
10、 the bus stop than to the car.In my opinion, focusing on sports facilities is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results. People should be encouraged not only to be more physically active but also to adopt a healthier lifestyle in general.通过以上的分析可以看出，考官是极少使用明显生硬的连接词的，而是通过紧扣论点的论据分类
11、，代词的准确应用以及论点与分论点的内容呼应达到“不留痕迹，分段得体”的状态的。Many students after conquering the vocabulary grammar and pull the topic, the ielts writing (course) or 5-5.5 points, a large part of the reason is due to the Coherence and Cohesion, Cohesion and Coherence poor grasp of. Similar to consequently spent plenty of
12、time to memory, admittedly clausal structure, right in front of each sentence is added a feel appropriate connectors. New Oriental online Xie Shuang the teacher pointed out that the practice does not conform to the scoring criteria, can be defined as excessive use of cohesive components, the use of
13、appropriate methods should be like this:An examiner of Cambridge ielts bo 9 model essay, take a look at the use of the coherence and cohesion.Topic: Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, or, say that this order have littl
14、e effect on public health and other measures are required.Discuss both these views and difference your own opinion. A problem of modern societies is the declining level of health in the general population, with conflicting views on how to tackle this worrying trend.Made through the use of pronouns t
15、his phenomenon and public opinion of the phenomenon of the cohesion, clear and concise, trace did score criterion of USES cohesion to in a way that it attracts no attentionOnepossible solution is to dojo.provide more sports facilities to encourage a more lifestyle.By one possible to write the later
16、also mentioned that the other solutions, which embodies the later on the segmentation and content corresponding to the total points of view, the grading standards of skilfully manages paragraphingAdvocates ofthis believe that todays sedentary lifestyle and stressful workingThrough the use of this ma
17、in section of the closely associated with the first paragraphThe conditions mean that physical activity is no longer part of either our work or our leisure time. If there were easy - to - reach local sports centres, we whenever moreThrough further demonstrates the argument for keywords of involved i
18、n the key content of the center of gravity, reflected the content of deepening, arguments and perspectives of cohesion (i.e. increasing sports facilities the first reason: need to make the public more convenient for sports)Likely to make exercise a regular part of our mattress, rather than just coll
19、apsing in front of a screen every evening. The variety of sports that could be offered orderDitto through the keywords of the modified further demonstrates the argument involves the key content of the center of gravity, reflected the content of deepening, arguments and perspectives of cohesion (i.e.
20、 increase in sports facilities the second reason: need to meet the needs of more people), no abrupt between two reasons to use Firstly, SecondlyCater for all which, levels of fitness and interests: those with painful memories of PE at school took be happier in the swimming pool than on the football
21、pitch. Clear that there may be better ways of tackling this problem. The Interest in sport isThrough the use of pronouns this, yes this section views associated with the title (i.e., in this section will write other possible ways), and with a parallel relationshipNot universal, and additional facili
22、ties took simple attract the already fit, and not those who most need them. Physical activity could be encouraged relatively cheaply, for example by installing exercise equipment in parks, as my local council has done. This has the added to that parents and children, use themThis instead of the prev
23、ious steps, close ties in between before and after the otherTogether just for fun, which develops a positive attitude to exercise at an early age.Which instead of add equipment described earlier directly influence, make the main clause and subordinate clause, direct effects and indirect effects into
24、 contactAs well As physical activity, high tax penalties could be imposed on high - fat foodProducts, tobacco and alcohol, as excessive consumption of any of these(normal connective as the reason behind the) ( these the use of pronouns to strengthen the connection between the subordination)Contribut
25、es to poor health. Even improving public transport order to help: it takes longer to walk to the bus stop than to the car. In my opinion, focusing on sports facilities is too narrow an approach and order to not have the desired results. People should be encouraged not only to be more physically acti
26、ve but also to adopt a healthier lifestyle In general.Through the above analysis we can see that the examiner is rarely use significantly blunt conjunctions, but through the arguments of the classification, accurate application of pronouns and the arguments and points to the content of the thesis echo reach a trace, segmented correctly state.