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1、-TED演讲内向性格的力量-第 18 页When I was 9 years old, I went off to summer camp for the first time. And my mother packed me a suitcase full of books, which to me seemed like a perfectly natural thing to do, because in my family, reading was the primary group activity. And this might sound antisocial to you, b
2、ut for us it was really just a different way of being social. You have the animal warmth of your family sitting right next to you, but you are also free to go roaming around the adventure land inside your own mind. And I had this idea that camp was going just like this, but better. I had a vision of
3、 10 girls sitting in a cabin cozily reading books in their matching nightgowns. Camp was more like a keg party without any alcohol. And on the very first day, our counselor gathered us all together and she taught us a cheer that she said we would be doing everyday for the test of the summer to insti
4、ll camp spirit. And it went like this: R-O-W-D-I-E, thats the way we spell rowdy. Rowdy, rowdy, lets get rowdy. Yeah. So I couldnt figure out for the life of me why we were supposed to be so rowdy, or why we had to spell this word incorrectly, but I recited a cheer. I recited a cheer along with ever
5、ybody else. I did my best. And I just waited for the time that I could go off and read my books, but the first time that I took my book out of my suitcase, the coolest girl in the bunk came up to me and she asked me, “Why are you being so mellow? “Mellow, of course, being the exact opposite of “R-O-
6、W-D-I-E”. And then the second time I tired it, the counselor came up to me with a concerned expression on her face and she repeated the point about camp spirit and said we should all work very hard to be outgoing. And so I put my books away, back in their suitcase, and I put them under my bed, and t
7、here they stayed for the rest of the summer. And I felt kind of guilty about this. I felt as if the books needed me somehow, and they are calling out to me and I was forsaking them, but I did forsake them and I didnt open that suitcase again until I was back home with my family at the end of the sum
8、mer. Now, I tell you this story about summer camp. I could have told you 50 other just like it, all the time that I got the message that somehow my quiet and introverted style of being was not necessarily the right way to go, that I should be trying to pass as more of an extrovert. And I always sens
9、ed deep down that this was wrong and that introverts were pretty excellent just as they were, but for years I denied this intuition, and so I become a Wall Street lawyer, of all things, instead of the writer that I had always longed to be, partly because I needed to prove myself that I could be bold
10、 and assertive too. And I was always going off to crowded bars when I really would have preferred to just have a nice dinner with friends. And I made these self-negating choices so reflexively, that I wasnt even aware that I was making them.Now this is what many introverts do, and its our loss for s
11、ure, but it is also our colleagues loss and our communities loss. And at the risk of sounding grandiose, it is the worlds loss, because when it comes to creativity and to leadership, we need introverts doing what they do best. A third to a half of the population is introverts, a third to a half. So
12、thats one out of every two or three people you know. So even if youre an extrovert yourself, you know I talking about your coworkers and your spouses and your children and the person sitting next to you right now, all of them subject to this bias that is pretty deep and real in our society. We all i
13、nternalize it from a very early age without even having a language for what were doing. Now to see the bias clearly you need to understand what introversion is. And its different from being shy. Shyness is about fear of social judgment. Introversion is more about, how do you respond to stimulation,
14、including social stimulation. So extroverts really crave large amounts of stimulation, whereas introverts feel at their most alive and their most switched on and their most capable when theyre in quiet, more low-key environments. Not all the time, you know these things arent absolute, but a lot of t
15、he time. So the key then to maximizing our talents is for us all to put ourselves in the zone of stimulation that is right for us. But now heres where the bias comes in. Our most important institutions, our schools and our workplaces, they are designed mostly for extroverts, and for extroverts need
16、for lots of stimulation. And also we are living through this belief system. We have this belief system right now that I call the new groupthink, which holds that all creativity and all productivity come from a very oddly gregarious place. So if you picture the typical classroom nowadays: When I was
17、going to school, we sat in rows. You know, we sat in rows of desks like this, and we did most of our work pretty autonomously, but nowadays, your typical classroom has pods of desks, four or five or six or seven kids all facing each other. And kids are working in countless group assignments. Even in
18、 subjects like math and creative writing, which you think, would depend on solo flights of thought. Kids are now expected to act as committee members. And for the kids who prefer to go off by themselves or just to work alone, those kids are seen as outliers often, or worse, as problem cases. And the
19、 vast majority of teachers reports believing that the ideal student is an extrovert as opposed to an introvert, even though introverts actually get better grades and are more knowledgeable, according to research. Okay, same thing is true in our workplaces. We now, most of us work in open plan office
20、s, without walls, where we are subject to the constant noise and gaze of our coworkers. And when it comes to leadership, introverts are routinely passed over for leadership positions, even though introverts tend to be very careful, much less likely to take outsize risks, which is something we might
21、all favor nowadays. And interesting research by Adam Grant at the Wharton School has found that introverted leaders often deliver better outcomes than extroverts do, because when they are managing proactive employees, theyre much more likely to let those employees run with their ideas, whereas an ex
22、trovert can, quite unwittingly, get so excited about things that theyre putting their own stamp on things, and other peoples ideas might not as easily then bubble up to the surface. Now in fact, some of our transformative leaders in history have been introverts. Ill give you some examples. Eleanor R
23、oosevelt, Rosa Parks, Gandhi, all these people described themselves as quiet and soft-spoken and even shy. And they all took the spotlight, even though every bone in their bodies was telling them not to. And this turns out to have a special power all its own, because people could feel these leaders
24、were at the helm, not because they enjoyed directing others and not out of the pleasure of being looked at. They were there because they had no choice; because they were driven to do what they thought was right. Now I think at this point its important for me to say that I actually love extroverts. I
25、 always like to say some of my best friends are extrovert including my beloved husband. And we all fall at different points, of course, along the introvert/extrovert spectrum. Even Carl Jung, the psychologist who first popularized these terms, said that theres no such thing as a pure introvert or a
26、pure extrovert. He said that such a man would be in a lunatic asylum, if he existed at all. And some people fall smack in the middle of the introvert/extrovert spectrum, and we call these people ambiverts. And I often think that they have the best of all worlds, but many of us do recognize ourselves
27、 as one type or the other. And what Im saying is that culturally we need a much better balance. We need more of a yin and yang between these two types. This is especially important when it comes to creativity and to productivity, because when psychologists look at the lives of the most creative peop
28、le, what they find are people who are very good at exchanging ideas and advancing ideas, but also have a serious streak of introversion in them. And this is because solitude is a crucial ingredient often to creativity. So Darwin, he took long walks alone in the woods and emphatically turned down din
29、ner party invitations. Theodor Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, he dreamed up many of his amazing creations in a lonely bell tower office that he had in the back of his house in La Jolla, California. And he was actually afraid to meet the young children who read his books for fear that they were e
30、xpecting him this kind of jolly Santa Claus-like figure and would be disappointed with his more reserved persona. Steve Wozniak invented the first Apple computer sitting alone in his cubical in Hewlett-Packard where he was working at the time. And he says that he never would have become such an expe
31、rt in the first place had he not been too introverted to leave the house when he was growing up.Now of course, this does not mean that we should all stop collaborating, and case in point is Steve Wozniak famously coming together with Steve Jobs to start Apple Computer, but it does mean that solitude
32、 matters and that for some people it is the air that they breathe. And in the fact, we have known for centuries about the transcendent power of solitude. Its only recently that weve strangely begun to forget it. If you look at most of the worlds major religions, you will find seekers, Moses, Jesus,
33、Buddha, Muhammad, seeders who are going off by themselves alone to the wilderness where they then have profound epiphanies and revelations that they then bring back to the rest of the community. So no wildness, no revelations. This is no surprise though if you look at the insights of contemporary ps
34、ychology. It turns out that we cant even be in a group of people without instinctively mirroring, mimicking their opinions. Even about seemingly personal and visceral things like which youre attracted to, you will start aping the beliefs of the people around you without even realizing that thats wha
35、t youre doing. And groups famously follow the opinions of the most dominant or charismatic person in the room, even though theres zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas, I mean zero. SoYou might be following the person with the best ideas, but you might not. And do
36、you really want to leave it up to chance? Much better for everybody to go off by themselves, generate their own ideas freed from the distortions of group dynamics, and then come together as a team to talk them through in a well-managed environment and take it from there. Now if all this is true, the
37、n why are we getting it so wrong? Why are we setting up our schools this way and our workplaces? And why are we making these introverts feel so guilty about wanting to just go off by themselves some of the time? One answer lies deep in our cultural history. Western societies, and in particular the U
38、.S., have always favored the man of action over the man of contemplation and “man” of contemplation, but in Americas early days, we lived in what historians call a culture of character, where we still, at that point, valued people for their inner selves and their moral rectitude. And if you look at
39、the self-help books from this era, they all had titles with things like “Character, the Grandest Thing in the World.” And they featured role models like Abraham Lincoln who was praised for being modest and unassuming. Ralph Waldo Emerson called him” A man who does not offend by superiority.” But the
40、n we hit the 20th century and we entered a new culture that historians call the culture of personality. What happened is we had evolved an agricultural economy to a world of big business. And so suddenly people are moving from small towns to the cities. And instead of working alongside people theyve
41、 known all their lives, now they are having to prove themselves in a crowd of strangers. So, quite understandably, qualities like magnetism and charisma suddenly come to seem really important. And sure enough, the self-help books change to meet these new needs and they start to have names like “how
42、to win friends and influence people”. And they feature as their role models really great salesmen. So thats the world were living in today. Thats our cultural inheritance. Now none of this is to say that social skills are unimportant, and Im also not calling for the abolishing of teamwork at all. Th
43、e same religions who send their sages off to lonely mountain tops also teach us love and trust. And the problems that we are facing today in fields like science and in economics are so vast and so complex that we are going to need armies of people coming together to solve them working together. But
44、I am saying that the more freedom that we give introverts to be themselves, the more likely that they are to come up with their own unique solutions to these problems. So now Id like to share with you whats in my suitcase today. Guess what? Books. I have a suitcase full of books. Heres Margaret Atwo
45、od, “Cats Eye.” Heres a novel by Milan Kundera. And heres” the guide for the perplexed” by Maimonides. But these are not exactly my books. I brought these books with me because they were written by my grandfathers favorite authors. My grandfather was a rabbi and he was a widower, who lived alone in
46、a small apartment in Brooklyn that was my favorite place in the world when I was growing up, partly because it was filled with his very gentle, very courtly presence and partly because it was filled with books. I mean literally every table; every chair in his apartment had yielded its original funct
47、ion to now serve as a surface for swaying stacks of books. Just like the rest of my family, my grandfathers favorite thing to do in the whole world was to read. But he also loved his congregation, and you could feel this love in the sermons that he gave every week for the 62 years that he was a rabb
48、i. He would take the fruits of each weeks reading and he would weave these intricate tapestries of ancient and humanist thought. And people would come from all over to hear him speak. But heres the thing about my grandfather. Underneath this ceremonial role, he was really modest and really introvert
49、ed, so much so that when he delivered these sermons, he had trouble making eye contact with the very same congregation that he had been speaking to for 62 years. And even away from the podium, when you called him to say hello, he would often end the conversation prematurely for fear that he was taking up too much of your time. But when he died at the age of 94, the police had to close down the streets of his neig