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1、Four short words sum up what has lifted most successful individuals above the crowd: a little bit more.-author-dateMs-Pamela-儿童情绪管理讲座分享Ms-Pamela-儿童情绪管理讲座分享Ms Pamela 儿童情绪管理讲座分享 本文翻译：lumin主讲人：Ms Pamela 义工：Jade 儿童情绪管理讲座分享 Our Mood Meter我们的心情米表 Our Mood Meter 我们的心情米表 High Energy 高能量 Low Energy 低能量 Unple
2、asant不开心 Pleasant开心 The Mood Meter helps children to identify their feelings accurately. The two axes of the Mood Meter correspond with two of the primary components of emotions and moodsfeeling (ranging from unpleasant to pleasant) and energy (ranging from low to high).心情米表可以帮助孩子准确表达心情。心情米表的横纵轴符合由情
3、绪和心情变化。情绪由不开心到开心；能量由高到低。Rage 愤怒 Panicked 恐慌Shocked震惊 Surprised 惊讶Festive欢乐 Ecstatic 欣喜若狂Angry 生气Afraid 害怕 Annoyed 不耐烦Enthusiastic 热情高涨Cheerful 愉快的Excited激动的 Anxious紧张 Worried担心 Concerned关心 Happy高兴 Hopeful期待 Blissful 极其幸福Disgusted厌恶 Disappointed失望 Pensive忧伤 Calm冷静 Content满足 Balance平衡Calming Breaths冷静
4、呼吸How to support your child in taking calming breaths在冷静呼吸时如何帮助你的孩子 Calming Breaths冷静呼吸How to support your child in taking calming breaths在冷静呼吸时如何帮助你的孩子Our bodies, in many ways, are governed by two different systems: the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system. The parasymp
5、athetic nervous system regulates normal metabolic functions. When it is dominant, our bodies function in a healthy way. The sympathetic nervous system is what is considered “fight, flight or freeze” responding. When the sympathetic system is in charge, our normal metabolic processes are put on hold
6、and our body floods with adrenaline and cortisol. Different parts of our brain have developed to support us in different situations. Our prefrontal cortex is used for thinking, reasoning and decision making. Our amygdala is used to active the “fight, flight or freeze”responding. The prefrontal corte
7、x can not properly function when the amydgala is activated. The prefrontal cortex begins development in early childhood, but isnt fully mature until an individual reaches their mid twenties!我们的身体，在很多方面，是由两个不同的系统所管理：交感神经系统和副交感神经系统。副交感神经系统管理正常代谢功能。当它占主导地位时，我们们身体健康的运行。交感神经系统是通常被认为”战斗，逃跑或冻结”反应。当交感神经主导时，
8、我们的正常代谢被静止，我们的身体充满肾上腺素和皮质醇。大脑不同部位支持我们不同的状态。我们的脑额叶前部皮层被用来思考，推理和做决定。我们的杏仁体用于激发“战斗，逃跑或冻结”应激反应。当杏仁体激活时脑额叶前皮层无法正常工作。脑额叶前皮层在儿童早期开始发育，直到二十几岁才发育完整。Using the prefrontal cortex and the parasympathetic system In order to support the development of the prefrontal cortex, children can develop skills to calm the
9、amygdala and the sympathetic system. One of these skills is learning how to take calming breaths when under stress. Stress may be physical, emotional or cognitive - but supporting children in taking control of how their bodies respond to big emotions is an important part of supporting emotional lite
10、racy. The following are different types of calming breaths you can help teach your child. The more children practice, the more competent they are at taking calming breaths, and the more likely they will be able to take calming breaths when faced with emotional and stressful situations. Balloon Breat
11、h Imagine that your body is a balloon, and with each breath you are filling yourself completely with air. As you breathe in, arch your back, stretch and raise your arms back behind you, and arch your back. As you breathe out, pull your belly button in, round your back, and look down towards your bel
12、ly. Bring your arms in around you in a hug. Repeat several times. Heart and Belly Breath This can be done sitting our lying down. Put one hand on your belly and one hand over your heart. Breathe in through your nose, and as you breathe in, take a slow, deep breath that fills the tummy and then raise
13、s your chest. When you exhale, let the air out from your heart first, then from your tummy. You can guide this by saying: breathe into your bely one two into your heart three four exhale out of your heart one two, out of your bely three four. Repeat several times.通过使用脑额叶前部皮层和副交感神经系统支持脑额叶前部皮层的发育，孩子们可
14、以掌握控制杏仁体和交感神经系统。其中之一便是通过冷静深呼吸来缓解压力。压力可能是身体承受的，或者来自于精神的，认知性的-但是帮助孩子控制巨大情绪波动是培养感情素养的主要一部分。以下介绍几种你可以帮助孩子执行的不同冷静呼吸方式。练习越多，你的孩子就会掌握的更好。一旦孩子熟练掌握，他们就越能处理面对情绪波动和压力。气球式呼吸法是把自己的身体想象成一个气球，一次次呼吸把身体填满。当你吸气时，弓起你的身体，伸展并且举起你的手臂到你的背后，低头看着你的腹部。移动你的手臂拥抱自己。重复几次。心脏腹部呼吸法可以坐着或者躺着。把一只手放在你的腹部另外一只手放在心脏。通过鼻子缓慢吸气，并且深吸直到填满你的肚子并
15、且填满整个胸腔。当你呼气时，感受让空气从心释放，再到肚子。你可以自我引导：吸入肚子一二，吸入心脏三四，吐气出心脏一二，吐气出肚子三四。反复几次。Alternate Nostril Breathing Bring your hand to your nose, and close your right nostril. Breathe in. Move your finger to now close your left nostril and breathe out. Breathe in and then move your finger to close your right nostri
16、l and breathe out. Repeat several times.鼻孔交替呼吸法，用你的手按住右边鼻孔，吸气。把手指移到左边鼻孔呼气。吸气之后，再把手指移到右边鼻孔堵住，然后呼气。如此反复。 Langhana Breath In a seated position, with eyes closed, take several breaths that count to three. In one two three out one two three. Once your are breathing a steady pace, make the exhale longer t
17、han the inhale. In one two three, out one two three four. Repeat several times. Langhana呼吸法，坐着闭上眼睛，从一数到三做几次呼吸。一二三吸气一二三呼气。当你以稳定的节奏呼吸时，把呼气调整到比吸气长。一二三吸气，一二三四呼气，反复几次 Brahmana Breath In a seated position, with eyes closed, take several breaths that count to three. In one two three out one two three. Once
18、 your are breathing a steady pace, make the inhale longer than the exhale. In one two three four, out one two three. Repeat several times.Brahmana呼吸法，坐着闭上眼睛，从一数到三做几次呼吸。一二三吸气一二三呼气。当你以稳定的节奏呼吸时，把吸气调整到比呼气长。一二三四吸气，一二三呼气，反复几次 Arms Together Breath In a seated or standing position, take a deep breath in, wh
19、ile raising your hands and arms up over your head (like a sun salutation). When your hands meet at the top of your head, bring them down, together (palm to palm) as you exhale. Repeat several times手臂联动呼吸法:坐着深吸气，同时慢慢把你的手和手臂上慢慢升至头以上（像太阳致意的样子），当你的手达到头顶是，把他们放下，双手合十吐气。重复几次。Blow Out the Candles Breath Hol
20、d your finger out in front of you as if it is a candle. (or in front of your child, if you are helping your child breathe). Take a deep breath and then breath out as hard as you can, as if you are blowing out a candle. Repeat several times.吹蜡烛呼吸法，把你的手指想象成蜡烛放在你的面前（如果帮助你的孩子呼吸，则放在行子面前）。深吸气，然后用力呼气，就如同你在
21、吹蜡烛一般。重复几次 Rights LanguageWhat is “rights language”, why do we use it, and how you cansupport this at home权限语言什么是“权利的语言”，为什么我们使用它，以及如何支持这个家 权限语言什么是“权利的语言”，为什么我们使用它，以及如何支持这个家 Rights based language is a way of thinking and talking about social conduct and the responsibilities we have to ourselves and
22、others.以权为本的语言是一种思考和谈论社会行为以及我们对他人和自己责任的方式。Rights language creates a social contract that children and adults alike are able to easily apply to every and all social situations.权利语言创造了一种社会公约使得孩子和成人们都能非常简单的运用到所有各种社会环境。Why not just use rules?为什么不单单使用规则？Building a democratic learning community involves t
23、he need for a space for every individual within the community to be able to bring their own perspective, their own individual needs and their own values, and then negotiate how to best work within a social group in which others may hold different perspectives, needs and values. The needs of each ind
24、ividual as well as the needs of the group must be addressed.建立一个民主的学习社会需要留有充分空间让人们保有自己的个人见解，个人需求和价值观，然后再寻求如何与社会中其他不同的见解，需求以及价值观相融合。个人需求和集体的需求都必须满足。Rules will always have an exception, and foster the mindset of obedience and compliance rather than critical thinking. When we are considering how to neg
25、otiate conflicting needs or values, rules provide a hard and fast answer that children are to comply with, rather than create a forum for children to discuss the possibilities to best meet the various needs that may arise in any given situation.规则总是有例外，它强调了顺从和配合，而不是批判性思考。当我们思考如何解决需求或者价值观的矛盾时，规则只给了一个
26、强硬快速的结果，那就是孩子需要配合，而没有创造出一个供孩子们自己寻求矛盾解决的机会。Rights, on the other hand, apply to everyone, in every situation. The application of rights, however, is contextual: what ensures the rights of a child in one situation may not ensure the rights of another. Equally importantly, rights can conflict with each
27、other in a situation - for example, the right to rest and the right to play.与规则不同，权利可以运用到任何人任何情境中。不过权利理论的运用是要依据现实状况：有时候可以保证一个孩子在某一个情况下的权利却无法保证另一个。同样的，权利之间也是在同一情景下可以是相互矛盾的，比如休息的权利和玩的权利无法同时达成。Rights language requires ongoing negotiation, critical thinking and creative problem solving.权利语言需要不断的交涉，批判思维，
28、以及富有创造力的解决方式。Rights also equalize - they are universal and apply to everyone, adults and children alike, and remove the power dynamic that can occur when an adult tries to “enforce” rules.权利也是公平的，他是普遍大众每一个成员都应该拥有的，不论成人还是孩子。同时权利避免了大人们试图实施规则时的强硬。Finally - rights only exist if the responsibilities to u
29、phold them are observed. For example, the right to be safe only exists when children make safe choices, are given an appropriate environment, and have adequate supervision for their current emotional state, developmental abilities and the activities at hand. The child is not a passive part in this -
30、 they have an active role in ensuring their right to be safe! 最后，权利的存在是需要责任支撑的。比如，我们有责任创造一个正确的环境，给予孩子身心健康的关注，才能够让孩子做出安全的选择，才谈得上有安全权利的存在。孩子在这一过程中并不是被动的，而是主动的去确保自己行使安全的权利。The right to learn学习的权利In the classroom, the right to learn refers to a variety of strategies for learning, including:在课堂中，学习的权利是指各
31、种学习的策略：Being able to use a variety of materials to learn from有各种各样的材料去学习Being given periods of time to explore a learning material, without distraction能够有时间去专心学习Encouragement to make mistakes and try new things允许学习中的错误，鼓励新事物尝试Working together and learning from peers as well as having space to experi
32、ment independently有和别人合作互相学习的机会，也有自己独立完成的空间An environment that allows children to engage with educators and peers, in a variety of contexts (such as group time, small group work, large group work, and independent work) 一个好的环境，允许孩子和教育者或者同学以各种形式（例如集体合作：小团体合作，集体合作；和个人独立完成）The right to be safe安全的权利In th
33、e classroom, the right to be safe refers to the right to be physically safe and emotionally safe. This includes the responsibility children have to keep themselves:在课堂中，安全权体现在身体安全和心理安全。这包括有责任让孩子们：physically safe (washing hands, dressing appropriately for the weather, walking in the classroom, being
34、safe with materials)身体安全（洗手，增减适宜的衣服，在教室内行走，教室内物品安全）emotionally safe (calming their body when needed, getting help from an adult or friend when needed, belonging to a group and including others, being able to express a variety of emotions and receive empathy from others)情感安全（能够得到安抚，能够及时得到成人或者朋友的帮助，有归
35、属感，能够表达各种情绪并且能够得到别人理解和抚慰）The right to learn vs “sharing”: a case study学习的权利vs“分享”Julie, Gabi, Emeth and Connor T are working with playdoh in the play kitchen. There is only one knife for the playdoh, and Julie has it. Emeth wants the knife and grabs it. Julie starts to yell. Gabi tells Julie she has
36、 to share. Emeth repeats “Julie, you have to share”. Julie looks at the girls, and Connor T begins a long explanation as to why she has to give the knife to Emeth, something to do with an elaborate playdoh plan.Julie gives the knife to Emeth as the other children keep stating she has to share. Left
37、with nothing, she is visibly upset, but moves to work alone.小朋友J，G，E和C在玩具厨房玩着橡皮泥，J拿着玩具刀在玩橡皮泥，E想要刀并且抓着一边不放，J开始喊叫，G对J说你要分享，E随即也开始说J需要会分享，J看着其他人，C开始对J一个漫长的解释为什么她需要把玩具刀分享给别人，其他小朋友也开始说J需要分享，于是J很不开心地把玩具刀给了E，然后一个人去玩了。When the teacher approaches the group, and asks what happened, Gabi explains that Julie ha
38、s to share.当老师走过来问发生什么了，G向老师说了J必须分享的事情。The teacher says that, no, actually, Julie doesnt have to share. But, we all have the right to learn with the knife. We also all have the right to be safe, and Julie doesnt look like she feels that this is an emotionally safe place right now.老师说：事实上，不，J不是必须分享。但
39、是每个人都有学习用玩具刀的权利。我们同样也有安全的权利，现在J的心里却已经受到了伤害，不在感到这是个安全的地方了。Why is this different?为什么两者不同？The concept of sharing essentially forces a child to comply with giving something up and “playing nice”, but often at a cost to themselves. This doesnt promote community involvement, or collaboration, but rather,
40、encourages competition and individualization - to meet your own needs and ensure you have enough, you need to find a way to avoid sharing (or avoid adult notice); or to form popularity alliances that will support getting what you want. Essentially, when we are requiring children to “be nice and shar
41、e” we are telling them that the needs of others are more important than their own needs. This is where the “you arent my best friend” statements are born - children are trying to find a socially acceptable way to gain power and get what they want, rather than find a way to work together to negotiate
42、 supporting everyones rights. 分享的概念实质上是强迫孩子配合放弃某些东西和“友好玩耍”，但实质上却伤害了孩子。这并不会帮助孩子融入社会或者学会合作，相反，却刺激了竞争和个人主义的产生-想要保证自己的利益，一定要想办法避免分享（或者避开大人的视线），甚至会有小集体出现去维护自己想要的东西。事实上，当我们告诉孩子分享着好好玩，是在灌输孩子别人的需求比他自己的重要。这就是为什么我们会听到诸如“你不是我最好的朋友”这样的话。孩子们正试图用社会可接纳的方式去获取权力从而得到所需，并非同心协力支持别人行使自己应有权利。A mixed message一条混杂的信息If chil
43、dren are feeling that their own basic needs (to learn, to play, to choose their own friends, to have their own ideas, to be heard, to be loved) are in jeopardy, why are adults expecting them to give up their own needs for someone else? What does this say about their own value and self-worth?当孩子们感到自己
44、的基础需求（学习，玩，选择朋友，自己的想法，有人倾听，被爱）受到阻碍，为什么大人还要他们放弃自己的需求去满足别人的？孩子自己的价值观和自我价值又改如何满足？Rights based language frames the conflict in a different light - all of the children have the right to learn with the knife. It isnt about turns, or sharing; it isnt about who is more popular, or makes a better argument; i
45、t isnt even about who had it first (which just encourages more competition!)- it is about the right to learn. We ALL have the right to learn. Now what?权利为基础的语言从一个不同的视角描述了这种冲突-所有孩子都有权利去学习那把玩具刀，这与分享，与轮流玩没有关系；和谁更受欢迎，或者更好的辩解也无关，更与谁先拥有这把玩具刀无关（强调先后顺序会激发竞争！）这只是关乎学习权利，我们都有权利去学习。然后呢？In this case study, the t
46、eacher asked each child to try to think of a possible solution. Julie suggested finding more knives. Gabi said that they could get spoons or forks. Emeth said they could each have 5 minutes. Connor T said one person could use the knife to cut everything for everyone else and do teamwork. The group v
47、oted and decided to find more knives - which they did, successfully.在这个案例学习中，老师让学生自己思考解决方法。J建议找更多的玩具刀，G说可以用勺子和叉子，E说他们能每人玩5分钟。C说大家可以分工，一个人切，其他人负责另外部分。之后大家投票决定找更多的刀，他们也成功的找到了。A few moments later, when Kazja approached the group and wanted to join, Julie now had a way to invite Kazja into the group and
48、 explain the social expectations for Kazja to be able to peacefully play with the group. She volunteered “Kazja, we are playing with the knives, there arent enough for you. I can get you one from the kitchen though.”玩了一会儿后，新朋友K也走过来想要加入，J现在可以邀请她并且解释K他们期望如何一起玩。她自愿地说道：K，我们都在玩刀，这里没有多余的给你，但是我可以帮你去厨房拿一个。I
49、t is possible that sharing the knife may have worked in this situation - each child could take a turn and if there was enough time, and the children had enough patience, sharing could have been a reasonable strategy. However, the sharing rule isnt always the best solution, and blind obedience to any rule, without critical thought, doesnt promote creativity, generate new ideas, or acknowledge the individual, contextual needs in any given situation.在这样的