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1、1 DIFFERENCES BETWEEN CHINESE MARRIAGE CUSTOM AND WESTERN MARRIAGE CUSTOM 中西方婚俗的差异1 Introduction Marriage is formed in a long historical evolution of the marriage custom in a nation. It is the regularity of the activities that restrains peoples awareness of marriage and marriage. Marriage customs bi
2、nding does not depend on the law, and it cannot rely on science tests neither, but on the force of habit, traditional culture and national psychology. During the development of human history, the institution of marriage and family system has experienced different processes of development. Human have
3、 experienced group marriage, the dual system of marriage and individual marriage system (monogamy). 2 Chinese Marriage Custom Like other folk, marriage custom has the same development and evolving process. In the early days of humanity, the human relationship in a very long period of time still carr
4、ied the irregular relations like the animal world. There was no marriage at all, if suggest some, the only arbitrary marriage. 2 In China, marriage has gone through for a long time. As a most grand etiquette, it has always been a high degree of attention. To control the marriage, the family and the
5、whole society, since the beginning of Zhou Dynasty, Chinese marriage should comply with six procedures, which is the so-called six etiquettes. And Later in Tang and Ming Dynasty in China, marriage also complied with the six etiquettes. As time goes by, although many wedding customs experienced vario
6、us changes Six etiquettes as the basic pattern has not changed much. It is still essential and core in marriage custom. Marriage has changed much today, but in many places, there still remains tradition such as: A. Proposing B. Asking the Name C. Asking for Fortune D. Sending Betrothal Presents to t
7、he Girls FamilyE. Discussing the Date of Marriage F. Meeting the Bride 3 Western Marriage Customditional marriage custom. In the middle ages children were married at a young age. Girls were as young as 12 when they got married, and boys as young as 14. The arrangement of the marriage was based on mo
8、netary worth. The family of the girl who was to be married gave a dowry, or donation, to the boy she was to marry. The dowry went with her when the marriage was held and stayed with the boy forever after the marriage. After the marriage was arranged, a wedding notice was posted on 3 the door of the
9、church. The notice was put up to ensure that there were no grounds for prohibiting the marriage. The notice stated who was to be married, and if anyone knew any reasons that the two could not marry, they were to come forward with the reason. If the reason was a valid one the wedding would be prohibi
10、ted. There were many reasons for prohibiting a marriage. One reason was consanguinity, if the two were too closely related. If the boy or the girl had taken a monastic or religious vow, the marriage was also prohibited. Sometimes widows or widowers took vows of celibacy on the death of their spouse,
11、 and later regretted doing so when they could not remarry. Other reasons which also prohibited marriage, but were not grounds for a divorce, were rape, adultery, and incest. A couple could not be married during a time of fasting, such as lent or advent. Nor could a couple be married by someone who h
12、ad killed someone. In the middle ages there were few reasons the wedding could be dissolved. One reason was if either the man or woman were not of legal age, 12 for girls and 14 for boys. If the husband or wife had previously made a religious or monastic vow or were not Christian, the marriage would
13、 be dissolved. The last reason a marriage could end was if the woman, not the man, was incapable of sexual relations. A. Proposal B. Changing Surnames C. Choosing the Day D. Holding the Wedding 4 Differences 4 It is clear that Chinese marriage custom and western marriage custom differ from each othe
14、r in many aspects. 4.1 Different Marriage Media Matchmaker and priest are different. In China, the marriage media is matchmaker, but in Western countries, the marriage media is priest. 4.2 Freedom: Free or Not Marriage in China was arranged by family. “Behest of parents and proposals of matchmaker”
15、decided everything about marriage. Usually the husband and the wife did not meet each other before getting married. The youths are not free when chose the lover in some places even today. Marriage marks the beginning of complete independence from the parents. According to the English law, no one was
16、 allowed to get married under the age of sixteen. Marriage between the age of sixteen and eighteen must have the parents consent. But when the girl was over eighteen, she was free to choose her love. Ones willing was superior to anything.4.3 Right: Equal or Not Chinese men were superior to women in
17、old peoples eyes. And women must comply with three 5 obedience and four virtues. But man could have a wife and many concubines. In north of China in some places, husband and wife are still unequal. The Bible says that husband should respect wife because both of them are blessed by God. And it emphas
18、izes that the relations between husband and wife should include duty. 4.4 Different Purposes of Marriage The main purpose of getting marriage in China is to continue the male offspring. In western countries, they are influenced deeply by religion, especially the Christianity. They think that it is t
19、he God who has created marriage. So they do not stress the blood relationship. They can remedy the defect of non-child by adopting other children. 5 Reasons for the Differences Above 5.1 Religions Among all the religion by which people seek to worship, Christianity is by far the most influential in
20、the west. Every phase of mans life is touched by this religion, so much so that it has become part and parcel of western culture. British dominant religious belief is Christian faith; or rather the U.K. is a country of Christianity. Bishop ordered marriage law as the fourth chapter in 1234. After is
21、suing the law, it was carried on under the strong church control. In 1917, the marriage law referred: wedding ceremony should be held by priest or at least two witness; the willing should be true and not be forced. 6 Most Chinese people believes Buddhism which advocates “why and because relationship
22、”. In this point of view, sky is the reason, and earth is the result; parents are the reason, and sons or daughters are the result; husband is the reason, and wife is the result. 5.2 Cultural Origins Traditional Chinese traditional marriage custom was characterized by a distinctive patriarchal clan
23、system. Marriage sometimes was a kind of ways to ally in political. The policy of cementing friendly relations through political marriages was a typical example in history. The traditional marriage custom was influenced deeply by Confucianism. Western marriage custom is influenced deeply by religion
24、, however, which emphasizes both men and women are God s sons and daughters, so they are equal unlike Chinese who pay more attentions to boys. Western people consider girls are also the fruit of love. 5.3 Marriage Concepts Chinese people once thought that marriage was a kind of ways to increase fami
25、lies, offspring and protect and enhance familys reputation and position. In western countries, marriage is the loves home to return to. The aim of marriage is to make the woman and the man live together all the life. 5.4 Geographies 7 Britain is over one thousand kilometers from south to north. Its
26、coastline runs about ten thousand kilometers, making it one of the countries with the longest coastlines in the world. In Britain no place is over one hundred and twenty kilometers from the sea. During the fight with the sea, British people feel the strong force of the nature that is difficult to co
27、ntrol. Thus they believed God. They think God is omnipotent and they respect God very much. Chinas geography is extremely varied and complex, including mountains, plateaus, plains, grasslands, basins, hills, islands, desert, glaciers, and frozen earth. Chinese people respect ancestors and western pe
28、ople respect God that lead the spirit world in China into ethics that take the main position and in western religion take the main position. Thus it causes marriage differences. 6 Conclusion Marriage custom in both China and western countries has gone through for a long time. As a most grand thing i
29、n peoples life, it has always attracted a high degree of attention.As time goes by, although many wedding customs have experienced various changes, as the basic pattern, “six etiquettes” in China has not changed much. Thats to say proposing, asking the name, asking for fortune, sending betrothal pre
30、sents to the girls family, discussing the date of marriage and meeting the bride are still essential and core in marriage custom. 8 References: 1 曾丽娟 http:/.Western marriage custom.2006. 2 Wollstoncraft, Mary. A Vindication of the Right of Weman. New York: Cambridge,1967. 3 鲍宗豪婚俗与中国传统文化M 桂林：广西师范大学出版
31、社，20064 陈鹏中国婚姻史稿 M 北京：中华书局， 20055 范明生，陈超南东西方文化比较研究M 上海：上海教育出版社，20066 欧阳若修，韦向学外国婚俗M 广西：漓江出版社， 19867 潘晓梅婚俗简史 M 北京：中国社会科学出版社，20048 邵先崇近代中国的新式婚丧M 北京：人民文学出版社，20069 ( 英国)泰勒，连树声（译）原始文化M 桂林：广西师范大学出版社，200510 吴存浩中国民俗通志 M 济南：山东教育出版社，200511 杨天宇仪礼译注 M 上海：上海古籍出版社，200412 张文修礼记 M 北京：北京燕山出版社，199513 张志永婚姻制度从传统到现代的过渡M
32、 200614 赵红瑾 . 女人的魅力与资本 M. 北京：中国广播电视出版社，200615 宗颜绍元婚嫁趣谈 M 上海：上海古籍出版社，2003生命列车 The Train Of Life 1. 不久以前，我读了一本书。书中把人生比作一次旅行。2. 人生一世， 就好比是一次搭车旅行， 要经历无数次上车、下车 ; 时常有事故1. Not long ago, I read a book, in which a man s life was compared to a journey. 2. The life of a man is just like a hitchhiking ， during
33、which many times we go up and down. Now and then things will happen accidently, some 9 发生 ; 有时是意外惊喜，有时却是刻骨铭心的悲伤 3. 降生人世， 我们就坐上了生命列车。 我们以为我们最 先 见 到 的 那 两 个 人-我们的父母，会在人生旅途中一直陪伴着我们。4. 很遗憾，事实并非如此。他们会在某个车站下车，留下我们，孤独无助。他们的爱、他们的情、他们不可替代的陪伴， 再也无从寻找。5. 尽管如此， 还会有其他人上车。他们当中的一些人将对我们有着特殊的意义。6. 他们之中有我们的兄弟姐 妹 , 有我
34、们的亲朋好友。我们还将会体验千古不朽的爱情故事。7. 坐同一班车的人当中，有的轻松旅行。8. 有 的 却 带 着 深 深 的 悲哀还有的 ,在列车上四处奔忙， 随时准备帮助有需要的人9. 很多人下车后， 其他旅客对 他 们 的 回 忆 历 久 弥of which are to be unexpected excitement ，while some heart-breaking sorrows. 3. When first embraced the world，we are already on the train of life. We take it for granted that th
35、e first two persons, our parents, whom we are encountered with, will accompany us all the way. 4. Sadly，things do not go on as we thought.Our parents will get off the train at a certain station， leaving us, bereft and helpless.Their love and emotion to us and their irreplaceable company can be found
36、 in nowhere. 5. However ， there will be somebody else who will get on the train. Some of them will have special meaning to us. 6. Some of them may be our siblings , relatives and friends, and we will also expereince the imperishable love. 7. Some of our travelling companions are quite light-hearted
37、on the way. 8. While some may bear immense sorrow.Still some ,back and forth, are ready to hold out their hands for others who need help. 9. Some people alight off the train, yet they are still kept in the mind of the other passengers for long;some, to the opposite, leave their seats 10 新 但是，也有一些人，当
38、他们离开座位时，却没有人察觉。10.有时候，对你来说情深义重的旅伴却坐到了另一节车厢。你只得远离他，继续你的旅程。11.当然，在旅途中，你也可以摇摇晃晃地穿过自己的车厢，去别的车厢找他 12.可惜，你再也无法坐在他身旁，因为这个位置已经让别人给占了. 13.没关系。旅途充满挑战、梦想、希望、离别就是不能回头。因此，尽量使旅途愉快吧！14.善 待旅途上遇见的所有旅客，找出人们身上的闪光点。15.永远记住，在某一段旅程中，有人会犹豫彷徨，因为我们自己也会犹豫彷徨。16.我们要理解他人， 因为我们需要他人的理解。17.生命之谜就是： 我们在什么地方下车？坐在身旁的 伴 侣 在 什 么 地 方 下车？
39、我们的朋友在什么without being noticed. 10.Sometimes, the one,who is dear to your heart, has huddled into another carriage. Nothing but one you can do is just to keep on going, far away from him. 11.Of course, during the journey, you may stagger to another carriage to look for him. 12.It s a pity that you wi
40、ll never seat yourself beside him because the seat has been engaged by others. 13.Never mind. The journey is full of challenges,dreams, hopes and departures- but only one thing is that you cant turn back. So, have a good journey with heart and soul. 14.Show your good-will to all the passengers you a
41、re encountered with, and find the merits of theirs. 15.Remeber that someone may oscillate just as we do in the journey. 16.We should understand others just as we need others understanding. 17.The enigma of life is：Where shall we get off the train of life?And how about the companions beside us?And ou
42、r friends?We dont know.18.Sometimes I think：When my time comes to get off the train，shall I miss it？I think I will.It is a suffering when I 11 地方下车？我们无从知晓 18.我时常这样想： 到我该下车的时候， 我会留恋吗？我想我还是会的。 和我的朋友分离，我会痛苦。让我的孩子孤独地前行，我会悲伤。我执著地希望在我们大家都要到达的那个终点站， 我们还会相聚 19.我 的孩子们上车时没有什么行李， 如果我能在他们的行囊中留下美好的回忆，我会感到幸福。20.我
43、下车后，和我同行的旅客都还能记得我，想念我，我将感到快慰。21.献给你 , 我生命列车上的同行者 , 祝您旅途愉快!part with my friends.I will be sorry for leaving my kids going alone.I firmly hold that when we get to the terminal ，we will have another reunion. 19.When my kids get on the train of life, they have only little luggage in their travelling bags. However,if I can leave the beautiful memory in them,I will be happy. 20.After getting off the train of life, I will be content if my fellow passengers will remember me and miss me. 21.To you , the companions on my train of life.May you have a good journey!