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1、TED英语演讲：英勇，是度过难关的唯一方法TED英语演讲：英勇，是度过难关的唯一方法在这篇感人的演讲中，艾许.贝克汉提出了一个同情与心胸开放的全新方式首先要理解每个人在生命中皆曾经历过困难。艾许讲，度过难关唯一的方法，就是要开启柜门，英勇的踏出柜子。下面是我为大家采集关于TED英语演讲：英勇，是度过难关的唯一方法，欢迎借鉴参考。演讲题目：英勇，是度过难关的唯一方法演讲者：艾许.贝克汉Imgoingtotalktoyoutonightaboutcomingoutofthecloset,andnotinthetraditionalsense,notjustthegaycloset.Ithinkwe
2、allhaveclosets.Yourclosetmaybetellingsomeoneyouloveherforthefirsttime,ortellingsomeonethatyourepregnant,ortellingsomeoneyouhavecancer,oranyoftheotherhardconversationswehavethroughoutourlives.Allaclosetisisahardconversation,andalthoughourtopicsmayvarytremendously,theexperienceofbeinginandcomingoutoft
3、heclosetisuniversal.Itisscary,andwehateit,anditneedstobedone.Severalyearsago,IwasworkingattheSouthSideWalnutCafe,alocaldinerintown,andduringmytimethereIwouldgothroughphasesofmilitantlesbianintensity:notshavingmyarmpits,quotingAniDiFrancolyricsasgospel.Anddependingonthebagginessofmycargoshortsandhowr
4、ecentlyIhadshavedmyhead,thequestionwouldoftenbesprungonme,usuallybyalittlekid:Um,areyouaboyorareyouagirl?Andtherewouldbeanawkwardsilenceatthetable.Idclenchmyjawalittletighter,holdmycoffeepotwithalittlemorevengeance.Thedadwouldawkwardlyshufflehisnewspaperandthemomwouldshootachillingstareatherkid.ButI
5、wouldsaynothing,andIwouldseetheinside.AnditgottothepointwhereeverytimeIwalkeduptoatablethathadakidanywherebetweenthreeand10yearsold,Iwasreadytofight.(Laughter)Andthatisaterriblefeeling.SoIpromisedmyself,thenexttime,Iwouldsaysomething.Iwouldhavethathardconversation.Sowithinamatterofweeks,ithappensaga
6、in.Areyouaboyorareyouagirl?Familiarsilence,butthistimeImready,andIamabouttogoallWomensStudies101onthistable.(Laughter)IvegotmyBettyFriedanquotes.IvegotmyGloriaSteinemquotes.IveevengotthislittlebitfromVaginaMonologuesImgoingtodo.SoItakeadeepbreathandIlookdownandstaringbackatmeisafour-year-oldgirlinap
7、inkdress,notachallengetoafeministduel,justakidwithaquestion:Areyouaboyorareyouagirl?SoItakeanotherdeepbreath,squatdowntonexttoher,andsay,Hey,Iknowitskindofconfusing.Myhairisshortlikeaboys,andIwearboysclothes,butImagirl,andyouknowhowsometimesyouliketowearapinkdress,andsometimesyouliketowearyourcomfyj
8、ammies?Well,Immoreofacomfyjammieskindofgirl.Andthiskidlooksmedeadintheeye,withoutmissingabeat,andsays,Myfavoritepajamasarepurplewithfish.CanIgetapancake,please?(Laughter)Andthatwasit.Just,Oh,okay.Youreagirl.Howaboutthatpancake?ItwastheeasiesthardconversationIhaveeverhad.Andwhy?BecausePancakeGirlandI
9、,wewerebothrealwitheachother.Solikemanyofus,Ivelivedinafewclosetsinmylife,andyeah,mostoften,mywallshappenedtoberainbow.Butinside,inthedark,youcanttellwhatcolorthewallsare.Youjustknowwhatitfeelsliketoliveinacloset.Soreally,myclosetisnodifferentthanyoursoryoursoryours.Sure,Illgiveyou100reasonswhycomin
10、goutofmyclosetwasharderthancomingoutofyours,butheresthething:Hardisnotrelative.Hardishard.Whocantellmethatexplainingtosomeoneyouvejustdeclaredbankruptcyisharderthantellingsomeoneyoujustcheatedonthem?Whocantellmethathiscomingoutstoryisharderthantellingyourfive-year-oldyouregettingadivorce?Thereisnoha
11、rder,thereisjusthard.Weneedtostoprankingourhardagainsteveryoneelseshardtomakeusfeelbetterorworseaboutourclosetsandjustcommiserateonthefactthatweallhavehard.Atsomepointinourlives,weallliveinclosets,andtheymayfeelsafe,oratleastsaferthanwhatliesontheothersideofthatdoor.ButIamheretotellyou,nomatterwhaty
12、ourwallsaremadeof,aclosetisnoplaceforapersontolive.Thanks.(Applause)Soimagineyourself20yearsago.Me,Ihadaponytail,astraplessdress,andhigh-heeledshoes.Iwasnotthemilitantlesbianreadytofightanyfour-year-oldthatwalkedintothecafe.Iwasfrozenbyfear,curledupinthecornerofmypitch-blackclosetclutchingmygaygrena
13、de,andmovingonemuscleisthescariestthingIhaveeverdone.Myfamily,myfriends,completestrangers-Ihadspentmyentirelifetryingtonotdisappointthesepeople,andnowIwasturningtheworldupsidedownonpurpose.Iwasburningthepagesofthescriptwehadallfollowedforsolong,butifyoudonotthrowthatgrenade,itwillkillyou.Oneofmymost
14、memorablegrenadetosseswasatmysisterswedding.(Laughter)ItwasthefirsttimethatmanyinattendanceknewIwasgay,soindoingmymaidofhonorduties,inmyblackdressandheels,Iwalkedaroundtotablesandfinallylandedonatableofmyparentsfriends,folksthathadknownmeforyears.Andafteralittlesmalltalk,oneofthewomenshoutedout,Ilov
15、eNathanLane!Andthebattleofgayrelatabilityhadbegun.Ash,haveyoueverbeentotheCastro?Well,yeah,actually,wehavefriendsinSanFrancisco.Well,weveneverbeentherebutwevehearditsfabulous.Ash,doyouknowmyhairdresserAntonio?Hesreallygoodandhehasnevertalkedaboutagirlfriend.Ash,whatsyourfavoriteTVshow?OurfavoriteTVs
16、how?Favorite:WillGrace.Andyouknowwhowelove?Jack.Jackisourfavorite.Andthenonewoman,stumpedbutwantingsodesperatelytoshowhersupport,toletmeknowshewasonmyside,shefinallyblurtedout,Well,sometimesmyhusbandwearspinkshirts.(Laughter)AndIhadachoiceinthatmoment,asallgrenadethrowersdo.Icouldgobacktomygirlfrien
17、dandmygay-lovingtableandmocktheirresponses,chastisetheirunworldlinessandtheirinabilitytojumpthroughthepoliticallycorrectgayhoopsIhadbroughtwithme,orIcouldempathizewiththemandrealizethatthatwasmaybeoneofthehardestthingstheyhadeverdone,thatstartingandhavingthatconversationwasthemcomingoutoftheircloset
18、s.Sure,itwouldhavebeeneasytopointoutwheretheyfeltshort.Itsalothardertomeetthemwheretheyareandacknowledgethefactthattheyweretrying.Andwhatelsecanyouasksomeonetodobuttry?Ifyouregoingtoberealwithsomeone,yougottabereadyforrealinreturn.Sohardconversationsarestillnotmystrongsuit.AskanybodyIhaveeverdated.B
19、utImgettingbetter,andIfollowwhatIliketocallthethreePancakeGirlprinciples.Now,pleaseviewthisthroughgay-coloredlenses,butknowwhatittakestocomeoutofanyclosetisessentiallythesame.Numberone:Beauthentic.Takethearmoroff.Beyourself.Thatkidinthecafehadnoarmor,butIwasreadyforbattle.Ifyouwantsomeonetoberealwit
20、hyou,theyneedtoknowthatyoubleedtoo.Numbertwo:Bedirect.Justsayit.RiptheBand-Aidoff.Ifyouknowyouaregay,justsayit.Ifyoutellyourparentsyoumightbegay,theywillholdouthopethatthiswillchange.Donotgivethemthatsenseoffalsehope.(Laughter)Andnumberthree,andmostimportant-(Laughter)Beunapologetic.Youarespeakingyo
21、urtruth.Neverapologizeforthat.Andsomefolksmayhavegottenhurtalongtheway,sosure,apologizeforwhatyouvedone,butneverapologizeforwhoyouare.Andyeah,somefolksmaybedisappointed,butthatisonthem,notonyou.Thosearetheirexpectationsofwhoyouare,notyours.Thatistheirstory,notyours.Theonlystorythatmattersistheonetha
22、tyouwanttowrite.Sothenexttimeyoufindyourselfinapitch-blackclosetclutchingyourgrenade,knowwehaveallbeentherebefore.Andyoumayfeelsoveryalone,butyouarenot.Andweknowitshardbutweneedyououthere,nomatterwhatyourwallsaremadeof,becauseIguaranteeyouthereareotherspeeringthroughthekeyholesoftheirclosetslookingf
23、orthenextbravesoultobustadooropen,sobethatpersonandshowtheworldthatwearebiggerthanourclosetsandthataclosetisnoplaceforapersontotrulylive.Thankyou,Boulder.Enjoyyournight.(Applause)今晚我会和大家讲述怎样走出柜但不是传统意义上的层面不只是成为同性恋那样的出柜我想大家都有个柜你所谓的出柜有的或许是你跟她第一次讲我爱你或许告诉别人你怀孕了或许告诉别人你患有癌症甚至是其他我们都经历过的难以启齿的谈话所谓的柜就是一次讲不出口的谈
24、话固然我们的话题涉及广泛在柜中和出柜的经历都是相通的这种感觉很可怕尽管我们都不喜欢但是还得这样做几年以前我在SouthSideWalnut咖啡店工作一个当地的餐厅那段时间我经历了激进女同性恋的紧张没有刮我的腋毛引用福音AniDiFranco的歌词由于我宽松的工装短裤还有我近期的发型经常会有人问我通常是小孩儿问我嗯，你是男孩还是女孩?随之而来的是一阵尴尬的寂静我紧咬牙关怀着报复的心紧握着咖啡罐爸爸尴尬地乱翻着报纸妈妈冷漠地盯着孩子但是我讲不出口内心却在沸腾重点是每次我走到旁边有3到10岁小孩儿的桌子时我都准备好要干一架了(笑声)这种感觉非常不好所以我跟本人讲下一次我一定会讲什么我会把话讲出口所以
25、过了几个星期又出现这种状况了你是男孩还是女孩?熟悉的沉寂但是这次我准备好了这次我要把所有女性的话讲出来(笑声)我准备好引用BettyFriedan的话准备好引用GloriaSteinem的话我甚至从（阴道独白）中选了几句话我深吸了口气我低下头看迎来的是一个穿着粉色裙子的4岁小女孩儿的目光这个小菜一碟只是个小孩儿问问题你是男孩还是女孩?我又深吸了口气在她身旁蹲下来讲我知道有点不好理解我的头发像男生的那样短我还穿着男生的衣服但是我是个女孩有时候你喜欢穿粉色的裙子有时候喜欢穿舒适的睡衣对吧那我就是那种喜欢穿舒适睡衣的那种女孩这个小孩儿死死的盯着我都不带眨的讲我最喜欢的睡衣是紫色的上面还有鱼能给我块煎
26、饼吗?(笑声)就是这样哦好吧你是个女孩来块煎饼怎么样?这是有史以来最简单的一次困难对话为什么呢由于这个煎饼女孩和我我们对相互都很真诚所以跟很多人一样我住在本人的几个柜里是的而且我的四面墙经常会变成彩色但是墙的里面黑暗中你却不知道内墙是什么颜色你就是知道在柜里是什么感觉所以真的我的柜和你的你的所有人的柜都是一样的当然我会告诉你100个理由来解释为什么我出柜会比你出柜要难但是重点是难并不是相对的各有各的难处谁能告诉我是跟一个人讲你刚刚破产难还是跟一个人讲你背叛他难呢谁能告诉我是一个人讲本人出柜难还是告诉你5岁的孩子你要离婚了难呢没有谁更难一些就只是很难罢了我们不能把各自的难处排个1234以此来让我
27、们对本人的柜更好过或更难过些然后又相互怜悯大家都很难在生活中的某些时刻我们都闷在柜里这样我们感到很安全至少比在柜外面更安全些但是我要告诉大家不管你的柜是什么材质那都不是一个人应该住的地方谢谢(掌声)想想20年前的你那时的我扎着马尾穿着没有肩带的裙子蹬着高跟鞋我不是那个紧张的女同性恋随时准备迎战走进咖啡厅的4岁孩童恐惧使我不得动弹缩在我那个黑漆漆的柜里绷紧身为同性恋的神经我从未放松过紧绷的那根弦我的家人朋友陌生人我一直都努力不让这些人失望然而如今我却成心把事情弄的一团糟我把我们一直沿用的脚本都烧掉但是假如你不丢掉手中的手榴弹它会至你于死地让我印象最深入的一次爆发是在我姐姐的婚礼上(笑声)很多在场
28、的人知道我是同性恋这还是头一回所以我作为伴娘穿着一袭黑裙和高跟鞋我游走在桌边最后决定坐在我父母的朋友的那一桌上他们认识我很久了讲了一会儿话后有个女人大叫着讲我超爱NathanLane!就这样一场关于同性恋的话题拉开帷幕Ash你去过Castro吗?恩内什么实际上我们在旧金山有朋友内什么我们没去过那儿但是听讲那儿挺棒的Ash你知道我的理发师Antonio吗?别人很好但是从没听他谈过女性朋友Ash你最喜欢哪个电视节目我们最喜欢的?最喜欢的电视节目非WillGrace莫属你知道我们最爱谁吗最爱Jack了我们最喜欢Jack了然后另一个女人张口结舌但是竭力变现出她的支持让我明白她是站在我这一边的她最终脱口
29、而出有时候我丈夫穿粉色的T恤(笑声)在那一刻和所有爆发者一样我作出了选择我能够回到我女性朋友和支持同性恋的那一桌去对他们这些人的反响嘲笑一番讲他们什么都不懂他们不能理解我身上所带的同性恋的标签或者我能够选择感同身受理解那可能是他们从未做过的最难的事情开场并进行那样的对话是他们出柜的表现当然指出他们不对的地方很容易但是和他们在同一层面上理解并知道他们在努力却很难除了让人家努力尝试你还能要求人家什么呢假如你想对某人坦诚那你就要准备好别人同样对你完全坦白所以进行难的对话仍不是我的强项去问问我从未约过会的人就知道了但是我做好的更好了由于我遵循我称之为煎饼女孩三原则请各位带上同性恋有色眼镜来看待这个但是
30、要明白出任何的柜所需的努力都是一样的原则一要真实卸下你的防御做真实的本人那个在咖啡厅的女孩就没有防御然而我却是准备开战假如你想让别人对你坦诚你得让他们知道你也有所付出原则二要直接有什么讲什么不要绷着你知道你是同性恋那就讲出来假如你告诉你的父母你可能是同性恋他们会心有一丝希望你会改变的不要让他们有这样的错觉(笑声)原则三最重要的一点(笑声)不要有负罪感你是在坦言有关本人的事情不要对此感到抱歉可能会有人受伤这是一定的对你所做的事情道歉但是不要为你的本质而道歉是的有些人会很失望但是他们对本人失望而不是对你那是他们所期望的你的样子而不是你本人的期望那是他们的故事而不是属于你的故事唯一重要的故事是你想要书写的那一个那么下回你发现本人窝在柜里手里紧攥着手榴弹时要知道我们都经历过这个阶段你可能会感到孤单但实际上不是的固然很难但是你需要走出柜不管你的墙是什么我向你保证还有些人从他们柜的锁眼里寻找下一个英勇的人推开们所以做那个英勇的人吧让人们知道柜已容不下我们一个柜不是一个人能活出真实本人的地方谢谢Boulder祝各位晚上愉快(掌声)