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1、会计学1牛津牛津(ni jn)译林九年级上译林九年级上UnitTask第一页，共16页。Learning Aims By the end of class, we students are expected to1、Find out highlights and problems in our own writing as well as our peers while fulfilling some tasks、2、 focus on writing problems of contents and languages, such as the lack of details about i
2、deas, poor word choices and boring sentences, etc、3、improve our oral and written ability in evaluating(评估评估(pn ) and improving both our pieces and others, especially editing our own first drafts、What problems of writing will be mainly solved?5/23/2022第1页/共16页第二页，共16页。I like art best Both my teachers
3、 and classmates think I am able to sing well because I have a gift for singing、 I began to learn my first song Twinkle, twinkle, little star when I was six years old、 At that time I found that singing was such an interesting thing, up to now, I have learned over two hundred songs、 In my spare time,
4、I often sing songs to others、 Everyone is happy to be my listeners, because of my passion and confidence、 Even though I cannot be a professional singer, I still get a lot of fun from singing、 Because of singing, my life becomes more colourful、Lets review if the piece is finished well enough、5/23/202
5、2第2页/共16页第三页，共16页。一、查作品一、查作品(zupn)完成度完成度Does the writer manage to tell readerswhat art form he likes best?whether he is good at this art from?when he became interested in this art form?whether he has any stories about this art form?How important this art from is to him?Adapted from the questionnaire
6、 in the text bookLets check if the writer finishes the writing task5/23/2022第3页/共16页第四页，共16页。Good organizationCharacteristics of good writingGood writingFine languageEnough contents5/23/2022第4页/共16页第五页，共16页。二、评作品二、评作品(zupn)成熟度成熟度I like art best Both my teachers and classmates think I am able to sing
7、 well because I have a gift for singing、 I began to learn my first song Twinkle, twinkle, little star when I was six years old、 At that time I found that singing was such an interesting thing, up to now, I have learned over two hundred songs、 In my spare time, I often sing songs to others、 Everyone
8、is happy to be my listeners, because of my passion and confidence、 Even though I cannot be a professional singer, I still get a lot of fun from singing、 Because of singing, my life becomes more colourful、5/23/2022第5页/共16页第六页，共16页。二评作品二评作品(zupn)成熟度成熟度结构: 1、文章段落是否清晰易读? 2分 2、文章开头是否吸引读者? 1分 3、文章结构是否有所感悟
9、? 1分内容: 1、文章是否讲述故事而非告诉事情? 3分 2、文章是否有生动情节和细节描写? 3分 3、文章全部内容是否与主题密切相关?2分语言: 1、文章是否有令人眼前一亮的用词? 3分 2、文章是否有句子尝试创造画面感? 3分 3、文章是否借鉴了教材中的语言? 2分Lets review if the piece is finished well enough、5/23/2022第6页/共16页第七页，共16页。三、赏同伴三、赏同伴(tngbn)好好作品作品 The art form I like bestCalligraphy is a kind of beautiful handwri
10、ting I like best、 However, I couldnt enjoy its charm years ago, “Just so so”、 I thought to myself、 On a hot, noisy summer afternoon , my father showed me lots of calligraphy works he wrote when he was 11、 “For what?” I asked、 “Teach you to learn the art of calligraphy、” he looked at me, smiling、 “Ha
11、-ha, is it of any value to a busy student like a bee?” I couldnt help laughing、 My father didnt say a word、 He just put a piece of rice paper on the table and picked up a Chinese writing brush、 He was so serious that I even felt everything got quieter at that moment、 Also I realized something surpri
12、sing was to take me to another fantastic world I had never been to-I was completely attracted by its magic、 So AMAZING、 It was from that afternoon that I started to learn calligraphy from my father and gradually lost myself in the art form, which taught me to keep peace and simple in the heart no ma
13、tter what was happening outside、 By zhonglong 5/23/2022第7页/共16页第八页，共16页。三、赏同伴三、赏同伴(tngbn)好作品好作品The art form I like best1.Does the writer use any details to make the story more interesting or easier to understand?2.Does the writer use any specific effective or memorable words to tell the story?3.Do a
14、ny students help to create pictures in your mind when you are reading the story?4.4、-Lets appreciate, and learn from our peers piece、5/23/2022第8页/共16页第九页，共16页。三、赏同伴三、赏同伴(tngbn)好作品好作品1、 Show enough details instead of telling a fact、2、 Use good words or sentences to create pictures、3、- In this way, yo
15、u can make the piece more interesting toread or much easier to understand、 In a word, when you are writing a piece, dont forget about its readers、Lets-5/23/2022第9页/共16页第十页，共16页。四、组员四、组员(z yun)齐献策齐献策I like art bestBoth my teachers and classmates think I am able to sing well because I have a gift for
16、singing、 I began to learn my first song Twinkle, twinkle, little star when I was six years old、 At that time I found that singing was such an interesting thing, up to now, I have learned over two hundred songs、 In my spare time, I often sing songs to others、 Everyone is happy to be my listeners, bec
17、ause of my passion and confidence、 Even though I cannot be a professional singer, I still get a lot of fun from singing、 Because of singing, my life becomes more colourful、5/23/2022第10页/共16页第十一页，共16页。五、练修改展示五、练修改展示(zhnsh)与评价与评价1、The biggest problem in my first draft is-、2、 a、 I try to add/cut off/ch
18、ange/-because I hope my readers can know/understand/realize-better、 b、 I make such a change in my piece because I want to express/show/find a way to- c、 The best words/sentences/most interesting details in my pieces are-、I wrote them because-、 d、 I am satisfied with the change most because-、 e、 Comp
19、ared with my first draft, the new version-、3、 What do you think of my new piece? Can you give me some advice for future improvement?Lets edit the first draft on your own and then show、5/23/2022第11页/共16页第十二页，共16页。Before classWhen I wrote a story, I did/didnt-、During classI make such a little/much pro
20、gress in-、After classI need more/ want to-、5/23/2022第12页/共16页第十三页，共16页。1.Continue to edit your first draft and hand in your favourite version tomorrow、2、 Do after-school exercises、3、 Prepare for next unit、5/23/2022第13页/共16页第十四页，共16页。5/23/2022第14页/共16页第十五页，共16页。 感感 谢谢 聆聆 听听2022-5-23第15页/共16页第十六页，共16页。