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1、2022莱梅斯在达特茅斯学院毕业典礼英语演讲稿President Hanlon, faculty, staff, honored guests, parents, students, families and friendsgood morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth graduating class of 2022!So.This is weird.Me giving a speech. In general, I do not like giving speeches. Giving a speech requires standing
2、in front of large groups of people while they look at you and it also requires talking. I can do thestanding part OK. But the you looking and the me talking . I am not a fan. I get thisoverwhelming feeling of fear. Terror, really. Dry mouth, heart beats superfast, everythinggets a little bit slow mo
3、tion. Like I might pass out. Or die. Or poop my pants or something. Imean, dont worry. Im not going to pass out or die or poop my pants. Mainly because just bytelling you that it could happen, I have somehow neutralized it as an option. Like as if saying itout loud casts some kind of spell where now
4、 it cannot possibly happen now. Vomit. I couldvomit. See. Vomiting is now also off the table. Neutralized it. Were good.Anyway, the point is. I do not like to give speeches. Im a writer. Im a TV writer. I like to writestuff for other people to say. I actually contemplated bringing Ellen Pompeo or Ke
5、rryWashington here to say my speech for me . but my lawyer pointed out that when you dragsomeone across state lines against their will, the FBI comes looking for you, so.I dont like giving speeches, in general, because of the fear and terror. But this speech? Thisspeech, I really did not want to giv
6、e.A Dartmouth Commencement speech? Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything in slowmotion. Pass out, die, poop.Look, it would be fine if this were, 20 years ago. If it were back in the day when I graduatedfrom Dartmouth. Twenty-three years ago, I was sitting right where you are now. And I wasl
7、istening to Elizabeth Dole speak. And she was great. She was calm and she was confident. Itwas just . different. It felt like she was just talking to a group of people. Like a fireside chatwith friends. Just Liddy Dole and like 9,000 of her closest friends. Because it was 20 years ago.And she was ju
8、st talking to a group of people.Now? Twenty years later? This is no fireside chat. Its not just you and me. This speech is filmedand streamed and tweeted and uploaded. NPR has like, a whole site dedicated toCommencement speeches. A whole site just about commencement speeches. There are sitesthat rat
9、e them and mock them and dissect them. Its weird. And stressful. And kind ofvicious if youre an introvert perfectionist writer who hates speaking in public in the firstplace.When President Hanlon called meand by the way, I would like to thank President Hanlon forasking me way back in January, thus g
10、iving me a full six months of terror and panic to enjoy.When President Hanlon called me, I almost said no. Almost.Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything in slow motion. Pass out, die, poop.But Im here. I am gonna do it. Im doing it. You know why?Because I like a challenge. And because this y
11、ear I made myself a promise that I was going todo the stuff that terrifies me. And because, 20-plus years ago when I was trudging uphill fromthe River Cluster through all that snow to get to the Hop for play rehearsal, I never imaginedthat I would one day be standing here, at the Old Pine lectern. S
12、taring out at all of you. Aboutto throw down on some wisdom in the Dartmouth Commencement address.So, you know, yeah. Moments.Also, Im here because I really, really wanted some EBAs.OK.I want to say right now that every single time someone asked me what I was going to talkabout in this speech, I wou
13、ld boldly and confidently tell them that I had all kinds wisdom toshare. I was lying. I feel wildly unqualified to give you advice. There is no wisdom here. So allI can do is talk about some stuff that could maybe be useful to you, from one Dartmouth gradto another. Some stuff that wont ever show up
14、 in a Meredith Grey voiceover or a Papa Popemonologue. Some stuff I probably shouldnt be telling you here now because of the uploadingand the streaming and the tweeting. But I am going to pretend that it is 20 years ago. Thatits just you and me. That were having a fireside chat. Screw the outside wo
15、rld and what theythink. Ive already said poop like five times already anyway . things are getting real up inhere.OK, wait. Before I talk to you. I want to talk to your parents. Because the other thing about itbeing 20 years later is that Im a mother now. So I know some things, some very differentthi
16、ngs. I have three girls. Ive been to the show. You dont know what that means, but yourparents do. You think this day is all about you. But your parents . the people who raised you. the people who endured you . they potty trained you, they taught you to read, theysurvived you as a teenager, they have
17、 suffered 21 years and not once did they kill you. This day. you call it your graduation day. But this day is not about you. This is their day. This is theday they take back their lives, this is the day they earn their freedom. This day is theirIndependence Day. So, parents, I salute you. And as I h
18、ave an eight-month-old, I hope to joinyour ranks of freedom in 20 years!OK. So here comes the real deal part of the speech, or you might call it, Some Random StuffSome Random Alum Who Runs a TV Show Thinks I Should Know Before I Graduate:You ready?When people give these kinds of speeches, they usual
19、ly tell you all kinds of wise and heartfeltthings. They have wisdom to impart. They have lessons to share. They tell you: Follow yourdreams. Listen to your spirit. Change the world. Make your mark. Find your inner voice andmake it sing. Embrace failure. Dream. Dream and dream big. As a matter of fac
20、t, dream anddont stop dreaming until all of your dreams come true.I think thats crap.I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, thereally successful people, the really interesting, engaged, powerful people, are busy doing.The dreamers. They stare at the
21、 sky and they make plans and they hope and they talk about itendlessly. And they start a lot of sentences with I want to be . or I wish.I want to be a writer. I wish I could travel around the world.And they dream of it. The buttoned-up ones meet for cocktails and they brag about theirdreams, and the
22、 hippie ones have vision boards and they meditate about their dreams. Maybeyou write in journals about your dreams or discuss it endlessly with your best friend or yourgirlfriend or your mother. And it feels really good. Youre talking about it, and youre planningit. Kind of. You are blue-skying your
23、 life. And that is what everyone says you should be doing.Right? I mean, thats what Oprah and Bill Gates did to get successful, right?No.Dreams are lovely. But they are just dreams. Fleeting, ephemeral, pretty. But dreams do notcome true just because you dream them. Its hard work that makes things h
24、appen. Its hardwork that creates change.So, Lesson One, I guess is: Ditch the dream and be a doer, not a dreamer. Maybe you knowexactly what it is you dream of being, or maybe youre paralyzed because you have no idea whatyour passion is. The truth is, it doesnt matter. You dont have to know. You jus
25、t have to keepmoving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, stayingopen to trying something new. It doesnt have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfectlife. Perfect is boring and dreams are not real. Just . do. So you think, I wish I could travel.G
26、reat. Sell your crappy car, buy a ticket to Bangkok, and go. Right now. Im serious.You want to be a writer? A writer is someone who writes every day, so start writing. You donthave a job? Get one. Any job. Dont sit at home waiting for the magical opportunity. Who areyou? Prince William? No. Get a jo
27、b. Go to work. Do something until you can do something else.I did not dream of being a TV writer. Never, not once when I was here in the hallowed halls ofthe Ivy League, did I say to myself, Self, I want to write TV.You know what I wanted to be? I wanted to be Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morriso
28、n. Thatwas my dream. I blue skyed it like crazy. I dreamed and dreamed. And while I was dreaming, Iwas living in my sisters basement. Dreamers often end up living in the basements of relatives,FYI. Anyway, there I was in that basement, and I was dreaming of being Nobel Prize-winningauthor Toni Morri
29、son. And guess what? I couldnt be Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison,because Toni Morrison already had that job and she wasnt interested in giving it up. So oneday I was sitting in that basement and I read an article that saidit was in The New YorkTimesand it said it was harder to get into USC
30、 Film School than it was to get into HarvardLaw School. And I thought I could dream about being Toni Morrison, or I could do.At film school, I discovered an entirely new way of telling stories. A way that suited me. A waythat brought me joy. A way that flipped this switch in my brain and changed the
31、 way I saw theworld. Years later, I had dinner with Toni Morrison. All she wanted to talk about was GreysAnatomy. That never would have happened if I hadnt stopped dreaming of becoming her andgotten busy becoming myself.Lesson Two. Lesson two is that tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever for yo
32、u.When I graduated from Dartmouth that day in 11011, when I was sitting right where you areand I was staring up at Elizabeth Dole speaking, I will admit that I have no idea what she wassaying. Couldnt even listen to her. Not because I was overwhelmed or emotional or any ofthat. But because I had a s
33、erious hangover. Like, an epic painful hangover because (and here iswhere I apologize to President Hanlon because I know that you are trying to build a better andmore responsible Dartmouth and I applaud you and I admire you and it is very necessary) butI was really freaking drunk the night before. A
34、nd the reason Id been so drunk the night before,the reason Id done upside down margarita shots at Bones Gate was because I knew that aftergraduation, I was going to take off my cap and gown, my parents were going to pack my stuffin the car and I was going to go home and probably never come back to H
35、anover again. Andeven if I did come back, it wouldnt matter because it wouldnt be the same because I didntlive here anymore.On my graduation day, I was grieving.My friends were celebrating. They were partying. They were excited. So happy. No more school,no more books, no more teachers dirty looks. A
36、nd I was like, are you freaking kidding me? Youget all the fro-yo you want here! The gym is free. The apartments in Manhattan are smallerthan my suite in North Mass. Who cared if there was no place to get my hair done? All myfriends are here. I have a theatre company here. I was grieving. I knew eno
37、ugh about how theworld works, enough about how adulthood plays out, to be grieving.Heres where I am going to embarrass myself and make you all feel maybe a little bit betterabout yourselves. I literally lay down on the floor of my dorm room and cried while my motherpacked up my room. I refused to he
38、lp her. Like, hell no I wont go. I nonviolent-protestedleaving here. Like, went limp like a protestor, only without the chantingit was really pathetic.If none of you lie down on a dirty hardwood floor and cry today while your mommy packs upyour dorm room, you are already starting your careers out ah
39、ead of me. You are winning.But heres the thing. The thing I really felt like I knew was that the real world sucks. And it isscary. College is awesome. Youre special here. Youre in the Ivy League, you are at the pinnacleof your lifes goals at this pointyour entire life up until now has been about get
40、ting into somegreat college and then graduating from that college. And now, today, you have done it. Themoment you get out of college, you think you are going to take the world by storm. All doorswill be opened to you. Its going to be laughter and diamonds and soirees left and right.What really happ
41、ens is that, to the rest of the world, you are now at the bottom of the heap.Maybe youre an intern, possibly a low-paid assistant. And it is awful. The real world, it suckedso badly for me. I felt like a loser all of the time. And more than a loser? I felt lost.Which brings me to clarify lesson numb
42、er two.Tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever for you. But dont be an asshole.Heres the thing. Yes, it is hard out there. But hard is relative. I come from a middle-classfamily, my parents are academics, I was born after the civil rights movement, I was a toddlerduring the womens movement, I liv
43、e in the United States of America, all of which means Imallowed to own my freedom, my rights, my voice, and my uterus; and I went to Dartmouth andI earned an Ivy League degree.The lint in my navel that accumulated while I gazed at it as I suffered from feeling lost abouthow hard it was to not feel s
44、pecial after graduation . that navel lint was embarrassed for me.Elsewhere in the world, girls are harmed simply because they want to get an education. Slaverystill exists. Children still die from malnutrition. In this country, we lose more people tohandgun violence than any other nation in the worl
45、d. Sexual assault against women inAmerica is pervasive and disturbing and continues at an alarming rate.So yes, tomorrow may suck for youas it did for me. But as you stare at the lint in your navel,have some perspective. We are incredibly lucky. We have been given a gift. An incredibleeducation has
46、been placed before us. We ate all the fro-yo we could get our hands on. Weskied. We had EBAs at 1 a.m. We built bonfires and got frostbite and had all the free treadmills.We beer-ponged our asses off. Now its time to pay it forward.Find a cause you love. Its OK to pick just one. You are going to nee
47、d to spend a lot of time outin the real world trying to figure out how to stop feeling like a lost loser, so one cause is good.Devote some time every week to it.Oh. And while we are discussing this, let me say a thing. A hashtag is not helping. #yesallwomen#takebackthenight#notallmen#bringbackourgir
48、ls#StopPretendingHashtagsAreTheSameAsDoingSomethingHashtags are very pretty on Twitter. I love them. I will hashtag myself into next week. But ahashtag is not a movement. A hashtag does not make you Dr. King. A hashtag does notchange anything. Its a hashtag. Its you, sitting on your butt, typing on
49、your computer andthen going back to binge-watching your favorite show. I do it all the time. For me, its Game ofThrones.Volunteer some hours. Focus on something outside yourself. Devote a slice of your energiestowards making the world suck less every week. Some people suggest doing this will increaseyo